helaintoloki

[helaintoloki]

my boyfriend has been making me watch the lotr movies with him and now i am constantly on the hunt for legolas fics

#mel talks #i honestly thought there would be way more #pls give me recs i beg of you #i am on my hands and knees

[helaintoloki]

Changes

pairing: Peter Parker x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of violence

notes: first piece I’ve written in a while so I hope you guys enjoy it! also this is somewhat a symbiote Peter fic but it’s very subtle

summary: Peter’s recent change of behavior makes you question whether you truly know him

It’s quiet, and the white cloth is growing red.

The coolness of the damp rag eases the stinging of his knuckles, and in the silence he is able to carefully focus on the features of your face. Your eyes never leave his hand, brows furrowed and deep in thought, refusing to meet his gaze. You haven’t said a word since your hurried exit from Betty’s house, but he hopes your gentle tending to his wounds is a step towards forgiveness for his actions. He knows you’re upset, and he knows that he’s partly to blame, but he’s never had to suffer the silent treatment for so long before.

“You still mad at me?” Peter asks gently in an attempt to break the tense silence. You halt your movements in response to his question and slowly remove the rag from his bruising knuckles. Staring contemplatively, you take in the blood soaked cloth that has begun to seep onto the skin of your palms. A wave of nausea passes over you as you see the dried blood coating your hands, for a part of you knows that you did not spend the past ten minutes wiping away Peter’s blood— it’s someone else’s.

“I don’t even know what to say to you,” you murmur quietly, still refusing to meet his gaze. “You embarrassed me in front of my friends, Peter. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to step foot in Betty’s house ever again!”

“I embarrassed you?” Peter gawks in disbelief. “I was defending you from that creep!”

“Oh, is that what you call it?” You scoff in disbelief. “You overreacted!”

“He was trying to take advantage of you, y/n! He had you cornered and he wouldn’t leave you alone. I watched him follow you around all night, and if I hadn’t stepped in who knows what would have happened?”

“Peter-”

“I’m your boyfriend, y/n. It’s my job to protect you.”

“That wasn’t protecting me!” You cry out in exasperation. “A punch or two would have given him the message, but Peter, you beat him to a pulp!”

Your voice begins to falter and Peter refuses to meet your gaze. His eyes are hardened and glued to the floor, fists clenched tightly in his lap, and you begin to regret having brought any of it up in the first place.

“You could have killed him,” you whisper shakily, eyes welling with tears as the memory begins to replay itself in your head. You’d never seen Peter like that before, so violent and cold, it was almost as if something else was controlling him, as if it wasn’t him at all. But he was relentless, not stopping until three other guys at the party had to physically pry him away, and all you could do was watch on in horror.

“I should have,” he murmurs lowly, and your heart breaks in two. Your breath hitches in your throat and the tears finally begin to fall as you realize you don’t really know the person sitting in front of you anymore. He’s changed, and whoever he is now, he’s not your Peter, not the one you fell in love with.

“I don’t like the person you’re becoming.”

Your sudden confession prompts Peter to finally meet your gaze, and the guilt that hits him when he catches sight of your teary eyes is almost immediate. Your anguish and fear is his doing, and it isn’t until now that realizes it.

“You’ve been acting different ever since you started that job for the Daily Bugle,” you sniffle, “trying to get those pictures of Spider-Man’s new suit for Jameson. I-I don’t know if you’re just stressed or if something else is going on, but whatever it is I need you to figure it out because I don’t like being afraid of you.”

“A-Afraid?” Peter repeats quietly. “Y/n, did I- were you scared of me?”

“I… I don’t know,” you lament quietly. “I think I was scared for you, scared of what would happen if you didn’t stop. You’re a good person, Peter, the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, and I was afraid that maybe after tonight that person wouldn’t be there anymore.”

“Y/n, I am so sorry,” he says earnestly, carefully taking your trembling hands in his own. “I never want to hurt you, and I never want you to feel scared or afraid because of me. I’m going to fix things, okay? I promise you I’m going to be better.”

Though a part of you is still reeling over the events that had transpired earlier in the night, you can’t ignore the sincerity in his eyes or the remorse present on his face as he begs for your forgiveness. You know deep down that Peter Parker is not a bad person, and he truly would never do anything to hurt you, so it isn’t hard to succumb to his apologies.

“Thank you, Peter,” you murmur before allowing him to pull you into a comforting embrace. Your fear and anguish have dissipated, and you once again feel safe and secure in the arms of your boyfriend. You believed him when he said things would be better from now on, and you knew now that you had your Peter back.

What you didn’t know, however, was that someone else was pulling the strings, and what happened next wouldn’t be up to Peter.

Your problems were far from over.

#this is my first time writing in over a year pls be nice #peter parker #mcu peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #spider man x reader #spider man imagine #spiderman x reader #marvel #mcu #mcu imagine

[helaintoloki]

So glad to have you back! We’ll always be here for you 🤗💕

thank you anon, that’s so sweet🥹 i really appreciate it💗

#mel talks #anon

[helaintoloki]

hello all, i am alive. apologies for the unexplained disappearance and the lack of writing, but i do want to say that i have been working on some stuff and will be posting a new piece soon. i’m hoping to slowly start writing again so thank you for bearing with me and sticking around for this long :)

#mel talks #hello friends #pls forgive me lol

[helaintoloki]

Thinking about Odds and Ends now more than ever since season 3 came out 🥲🥲 My favorite fic I’ve read ever!!!!

aw thank you! for sure one of the Ben pieces I’m most proud of

#mel talks

[helaintoloki]

mel- i have a ben x reader fic I think you would love. and its updating soon. its no feet by @yurtletheturtlehenderson its just *chefs kiss*

hello my love, many apologies for taking so long to respond to this. Thank you for the rec <3

#mel talks #I have decided to crawl out from my hole #sorry for disappearing guys #i cannot promise i won’t do it again lol

[helaintoloki]

I love ALL of your sparrow!ben fics and I was so shocked when I realized that you wrote them before season 3 even came out because the way you wrote sparrow!Ben's character was so on point?? Like, you didn't miss a thing about him! I also love how he and the reader are complete opposites yet he's such a softie ❤️ I hope you continue writing for sparrow!Ben now that s3 is out, but regardless of that, I wanted to tell you that you're a really good writer 💕

hi anon! i honestly have no idea how i was able to write so many pieces with three seconds of material for the character lmaooo but it was very nice and validating to see my depiction was actually very accurate to the show. i have a few ideas for some new sparrow!ben pieces, just need the motivation to write them is all. :p

#mel talks #anon #ben tag #tua

[helaintoloki]

Lemme tell you, your fics got me through my TUA season 2 brainrot and as soon as I finished the first episode of season 3 I just knew I had to search for your account again.

Glad to see that you’re okay and still writing, gamer! Wish you all the best 💕

hi anon! ty for thinking of me after your watch haha. I’ve noticed my old sparrow!ben and tua posts have been getting a lot of love recently and i thank you all for that. been thinking about writing some s3 content but we shall see

#mel talks #tua #anon

[helaintoloki]

no spoilers but i am halfway through the first episode of s3 and i am already in love i’ve been waiting for this for so long

#mel talks #tua #no spoilers pls

[helaintoloki]

Is there going to be a part three to Requited? I loved the two parts and was wondering if there was going to be more!

hi anon! as of now I am not sure. honestly I haven’t watched eternals in some time so my grasp on the character is not quite as strong and I don’t have the same inspiration I did when I first wrote the piece. maybe in the future, but for now i don’t see it happening soon

#mel talks #anon

[helaintoloki]

Just wanted to see how you’re doing, are you eating, staying hydrated, that kind of thing?

I’m doing good anon, thank you for asking <3

#mel talks #anon

[helaintoloki]

hey ! i know this is your main blog but i found your writing through fire lilies, and i just wanted to ask if we should interact with you on here instead since you haven’t been on melzula as much ! either way i love your work and hope you’re doing well :)

hi! i haven’t particularly been active on either page in the past few months but i plan to try and become more active here so yes you can interact with me here if you’d like! maybe i’ll get back on melzula soon but i’m not sure as of now

#mel talks #anon

[helaintoloki]

hi love, hope you're doing well xx

hello! i am doing well, had a few rough patches but things are good now :)

#mel talks

[helaintoloki]

Uhm hello, I'm glad you're back, how are you? 😊

hello dear! I’m doing okay. I apologize to you all for being gone for so long. being a full time college student with a part time job is actually very time consuming, not to mention i’ve been dealing with some personal stuff as well these past couple of months. i am on summer break now though and hopefully i can get to writing soon. just need some inspiration which will hopefully come when the new season of tua drops but we shall see :)

#mel talks #also might write for stranger things but i need to finish the new season first

[helaintoloki]

Hi! I absolutely adore our sparrow!ben fics and I just wanted to ask if you'll comtinue to do them when season three comes out?

(Ps. HIS POSTER???? AMAZING. )

hello! i’ve been rewatching tua with my boyfriend lately (he’s a first timer) and i realize i genuinely do miss writing for the characters. it’s been some time since i’ve created anything but i do hope to try writing more when the new season comes out, especially now that i’ll have source material to work with and not just my own ideas on who sparrow!ben is

#mel talks #tua #ben tag

[helaintoloki]

how are we feeling about this new ua content ?

screaming and crying and throwing up I’m so excited but also extremely validated to know my depiction of sparrow!ben is correct the dude is an asshole and i love him for it <333

#mel talks #also hello i am back from the dead apparently #it has been a while

[helaintoloki]

your reminder to drink some water, eat something, take a break, and sleep when you need it <3 be kind to yourself :))

thank you anon, I really needed this reminder. I’ve been exhausted lately. hope you’re doing well ♡

#mel talks #anon