hidemystupidhunger

[hidemystupidhunger]

the fact that when i was in the hospital for suicidal ideation i was perscribed prozac (which is often used to treat bulimia if yall didnt know bc i didnt know before going on it lmao) is so funny. like they didnt know i have an eating disorder but like im feeling good i dont binge as much on it which is fantastic. i havent weighed myself yet though because im scared because i didnt weigh myself all semester so im pretty sure i gained but im really hoping the prozac helps me lose weight. im not even purposefully restricting or anything i just dont have much of an appetite anymore.

#hospitalization tw #suicidal ideation tw #medication tw #ed tw

[hidemystupidhunger]

just got discharged from the psych ward

[hidemystupidhunger]

me, actively suicidal and feeling like im in danger: no i cant go to the hospital i cant miss more class than i already have

#suicidal tw #hospital tw #suicide tw

[hidemystupidhunger]

i finally threw up after a decade. (i didnt make myself puke, its from a hangover) it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be and i feel like my emetophobia is not much of a thing anymore. i feel like ill start purging through vomiting now that i know it isnt that bad

[hidemystupidhunger]

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

[hidemystupidhunger]

maybe ill eat a couple more things of jello and try one more time tonight. my dad will be home in an hour. well see

tried harder than i ever have before to vomit. i gagged a ton but was not able to get anything out at all. ugh. my goal was to do it before august, which didnt happen, so now i just want to do it before i go back to school. if im not able to do it before going back to school ill just get too drunk so i cant help it when i go back. gonna try again tomorrow, hopefully ill be able to get somethinng up.

[hidemystupidhunger]

tried harder than i ever have before to vomit. i gagged a ton but was not able to get anything out at all. ugh. my goal was to do it before august, which didnt happen, so now i just want to do it before i go back to school. if im not able to do it before going back to school ill just get too drunk so i cant help it when i go back. gonna try again tomorrow, hopefully ill be able to get somethinng up.

#ed tw

[hidemystupidhunger]

[hidemystupidhunger]

im quite drunk and i really wanna try throwing up but my dad is (asleep) in the next room and im scared hell hear

[hidemystupidhunger]

almost made myself puke for the first time today but chickened out bc of my emetophobia. my goal is to make myself puke before august. i know. i shouldnt start or whatever. but my brain is already so fucking sick i dont care. i really dont.

#bulimia #ed #tw

[hidemystupidhunger]

so. i realized yesterday that i might (probably) have pcos. my cycle has been fucked up for years, the first time i clearly remember being a little nervous about my cycle was around 3 years ago which is the first time i remember it getting longer and longer. my average cycle length as of now is anywhere from 45-55+ days and i often skip months. ive only had 4 periods so far this year and its july so yikes ig. also, obviously im fat. yall know my current weight is around 230lbs (which side note i havent weighed myself in like. weeks because i really thought i gained and was so nervous that i was back at my sw or higher but i basically am the same weight i was the last time i weighed myself so wish i lost more but thank GOD i didnt gain. ANYWAY back to it lol) and despite having an eating disorder for. 7? 8? years ive never really been able to lose more than like. 10-20lbs at a time. which could be partly because of pcos. also, i have hair on my chin thats super thick and dark and even though i dont have TOO much of that i feel like i kinda have a significant amount of it. needless to say, im going to the doctors about this and if i dont have pcos ill honestly be shocked. i have no idea what else i could have thats causing these things. ive been looking at posts having to do with pcos and im honestly hoping i can get diagnosed with it and get prescribed metformin because ive heard it helped a ton of people with pcos lose weight. honestly, the ONLY symptom of pcos i have thats bothering me right now is the weight because im a trans man who doesnt want children at all lmao.

#period tw #ed tw #HATE all the transphobia surrounding pcos tho thats bothering me a lot

[hidemystupidhunger]

Only reblog this if you can and will lose the weight. No excuses. You are in control.

[hidemystupidhunger]

as soon as i get skinny im going full cottagecore

[hidemystupidhunger]

can my family stop talking about food im gonna cry

[hidemystupidhunger]

gonna weigh myself right before. i better lose bc of this. im worried about bloating bc of the broth

wisdom teeth extraction in 2 days. will pretty much be living on 10kcal broth, 10kcal sugar free jello, 60kcal sugar free pudding, and halo top ice cream for like a week lmao. i wont be able to binge on much even if i want to

[hidemystupidhunger]

wisdom teeth extraction in 2 days. will pretty much be living on 10kcal broth, 10kcal sugar free jello, 60kcal sugar free pudding, and halo top ice cream for like a week lmao. i wont be able to binge on much even if i want to

[hidemystupidhunger]

2am me @ past me: maybe, JUST maybe, 10 laxatives was a bad idea, innit

#i feel sick :) #but also i cant quit laxatives i cant do it #hate myself lol