highfatminimalist

[highfatminimalist]

Back from the dead

Hi! I’ve been on a break from blog life since October.

I started a new day job in October, so the change in schedule reduced the amount of time I could scroll through tumblr, and I fell out of the habit. I maintained for a while but a couple months ago I kinda fell off and started gaining. Nothing crazy though! Maybe 10-15lbs which is mostly bloat. I still fit all the size 14 jeans that I fit into last year, but i mostly notice the gain in my tummy and face.

I just found out that the cruise industry is opening back up and I’m going to be heading out onto a cruise ship at the end of May!! I really missed singing and the fact that the entertainment industry has been dead for a year has SUCKED. I’ve been supplementing by working a normal day job, along with teaching Zoom voice lessons and doing some vocal session work from home, but there is nothing like performing full time. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I recommitted to keto yesterday, and I also joined a gym (they’re finally open where I live!), where I’ll be going 2-3 times a week until I leave. I have two months to condition for this contract, and I’m not expecting miracles, but it would be nice to at least get to where I was when COVID hit (around 205), or a baggier fit in my size 14 in jeans.

My game plan for now is to do good ole’ clean keto. A protein powder and berry smoothie for breakfast, and a dinner of meat and veggies, with an optional snack in between. My first goal is to make it to my birthday (mid april) with no cheat days, eat whatever I want for my birthday weekend, and then resume until I leave for my contract at the end of May. At the end of April, I have to complete a physical to return to ships, so that’ll give me a bit of progress check since they’ll be weighing me.

As far as the ship contract goes, I’m going to be working out almost every day (per my contract), so hopefully I can get more fit and get down to a 10/12. The contract is 10 months long, so this is suuuuuper doable. On my last contract, I was already on the way! My costumes were starting to get looser and in the 6 weeks that I was on board, my arms and legs were looking so toned. And then COVID came and ruined it all lol. I mean, it would be cool to get smaller than a size 10, but it would be really annoying if my costumes got too baggy. I’ll settle for a flat tummy lol.

Thankfully, I’ll be in the Mediterranean so it’ll be quite easy to stick to the low carb life! Lots of fresh salads, grilled meats, etc. On my asia contract in 2019 I ballooned because i was 1) super fucking depressed and 2) eating ALL the noodles and rice lol. I have since worked through the issues that trigger me to binge (i was in a not-great relationship), so I’m pretty confident that I’ll be fine.

Very excited to be back on the accountability train! Hope everyone is doing well. <3

#personal

[highfatminimalist]

9/20/20 : 2020 Emmys

[highfatminimalist]

I hate to make my blog a dark place but... today I also found out that my mother has COVID-19. She’s doing fairly well, but I’m still extremely emotionally exhausted from fretting over her. She has mild symptoms at the moment, but she’s 62, so I’m calling/monitoring her every day for the next week.

This was too much bad news within 48 hours. I left work early and my best friend/roommate bought me a medium pizza and wine. I don’t have regrets. Back on the grind tomorrow.

Ugh what a shit week.

Just broke up with my SO who I’ve been dating for almost 3 years.

I don’t even feel like I exist right now.

#personal

[highfatminimalist]

Just broke up with my SO who I’ve been dating for almost 3 years.

I don’t even feel like I exist right now.

#personal

[highfatminimalist]

I haven’t weighed myself in like a week and a half. I’m in kind of a funk I guess. I got really bloated (shark week) for a while and now I’m afraid to get on the scale lol. Some of my clothes are fitting looser, so I rationally know that I should be lighter than my last weigh-in (206) but ugh. I’m still battling scale-phobia. I think I’ll weigh myself on Thursday, since it’s the 1st of the month, and then I’ll come up with an updated plan from there.

In other news, I’ve begun plant-based keto again (only on weekdays). I’ve really gotten better at making tofu lol.

[highfatminimalist]

[highfatminimalist]

[highfatminimalist]

It’s a new week! Specifically Tuesday. I kinda hate tuesdays ugh.

Well anyway, I don’t feel like I’ve lost much since last weigh-in because I’m bloated af. It’s that fun time of the month. I don’t really get a “period” because I have an IUD, but I still get bloated and cranky for several days. So I’m just continuing my normal routine of eating as healthy as possible and waiting til after my bloating subsides today weigh myself again. I will say that the legs of my jeans feel looser than they did last week, so that’s something. Even if my belly feels huge haha.

I’m also doing a little fast today! Gonna keeping trying to make Tuesday my fast day.

[highfatminimalist]

https://www.instagram.com/oroma.elewa/

[highfatminimalist]

Little NSV

In the last couple months, several people at work have asked me what I’m studying in college and are then surprised when I tell them I’ve been out of school for five years and am 27.

When I’m 20-30lbs heavier, I get the opposite assumption. People ask if I have kids, whether I’m married, etc.

So from what I’ve gathered, I look collegiate under 215 and matronly over 215 lol.

Hooray for turning back the clock (both health-wise and aesthetically)!

#personal #weight loss #nsv

[highfatminimalist]

Two weeks ago I weighed myself and I was 207.2lbs, and then my SO visited for five days, and ate/drank a lot, and then spent a week getting back on the wagon.

Well I guess I succeeded because today I’m at 206lbs!

Stats

HW: 225+

SW: 207.2

CW: 206

GW: ~150s

#progress #keto #lchf #hflc #low carb #yay #weight loss #weight loss progress

[highfatminimalist]

Zoë Kravitz as Rob in High Fidelity (2020) dir. Jesse Peretz

[highfatminimalist]

You are not going in circles

You are making progress in a spiral. You do come back around to where you were at the start, since recovery and healing take time, but every time you come back around to that point you’re a little higher up because you’ve got more experience, more knowledge, and more strength.

You ARE making progress

[highfatminimalist]

You did it! You broke 2020 down to its bare essentials!

[highfatminimalist]

via weheartit

[highfatminimalist]

tw: mention of a past eating disorder

Broke my 24hr fast and here are some things I’ve learned:

- I’ve fasted a lot before, but fasting when you also work a 10hr shift (with walking) is another story. I wish I was prepared with broth and electrolytes instead of relying on coffee and tea.

- ED brain started to spiral near the middle of the day... e.g. wondering if I could go longer, or if I would be lighter in the morning, or how many days I’d need to fast consecutively to reach my goal, etc. ED brain shushed later in the day when I started feeling hungry though.

- I broke my fast with too big of a meal lol. It was about 600cals but I should’ve started with a small snack because now I feel a little uncomfortable.

BIGGEST TAKE-AWAY: I actually didn’t ~enjoy~ the way I felt today, which was a huge surprise. Years ago I would fast and really enjoy the thrill of being in control. My cold, lightheaded body would be proof that I was reaching my goals. My weakness made me feel strong. Even feeling my tummy growling gave me such a rush!

But, I didn’t get an *emotional* high from not eating today. It simply felt like I was choosing to abstain from consumption in order to give my body and brain a break from digesting. It was as much of a “rush” as flossing my teeth. Is this.... ED recovery? Growth? Age? Perspective? I love the benefits of fasting but I was afraid that I’d never be able to do it without triggering myself. It looks like that may be changing.

I’ll try again next week with more electrolytes and see how it goes. For now, back to my lazy/flexible 16:8 window.

#fasting #tw eating stuff #food diary #keto #lchf #low carb

[highfatminimalist]

Couple updates

- my SO visited for 5 days a couple weeks ago and I ate and drank merrily

- he’s been gone for a week today, and I’ve been using this week to get back to whatever physical state I was in before he came (207lbs, 34” waist)

- I haven’t weighed myself since his visit but I will weigh myself on Thursday

- I’m incorporating one 24hr fast per week into my lifestyle! Today is my first one. We’ll see how it goes. It I hate it, I won’t keep doing it. But I’m relatively familiar with fasting (religious background) AND it’s been long enough since I’ve struggled with ED stuff so I think it might actually be a nice, meditative break from consumption and not a mentally spiraling shit show like whenever I would try to fast in college.

#update #personal #keto #low carb #fasting