hochrot

[hochrot]

i bet diluc throws new years parties, and just kind of watches over people who are drinking and kissing and laughing, making sure people are safe and happy for the coming year

#❧ ooc. #highkey wishing he had a tartaglia to smooch

[hochrot]

like i already sort of always figured he was freakier than he looked but like, there was a point in time where i sort of shifted and adhered to the gentlemanly portion of him too closely, and i wish to Amend that

#❧ ooc. #he could meet many of the harbingers head on #in the crazy department

[hochrot]

his willingness to torture a living being without flinching? the whole big thing with adelinde making cannibalistic remarks, i think he adores her and knows more than he lets on (and i love that bit abt adelinde), and the fact that he was able to use a delusion consistently, like.. bro those kill people quick lmao i feel you gotta be powerful and insane in order to wield one of those as beautifully as he did / and his ability to just, wipe out members of the fatui as if they weren’t also people, that’s genuinely and truly fucked / i mean even people oft described as “family men” have been seen to be serial killers bro he can be kind, and caring, and sound completely genuine, but also be the scariest motherfucker you’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting

he is simply in complete control of any given situation and he has the power and the knowledge to keep that control (and when he’s no longer in control is when you see horrifying things, i can only barely imagine how batshit he went during the harbinger fight now that we’ve seen more about how some of the harbingers work)

i’ve come to the conclusion that diluc is absolutely batshit insane. like deserves all his harbinger partners level batshit insane. completely fucked in the head

#❧ hc. #cannibalism // #this is vague and mostly an ooc post but #figured it's just coherent enough to be considered a hc

[hochrot]

i’ve come to the conclusion that diluc is absolutely batshit insane. like deserves all his harbinger partners level batshit insane. completely fucked in the head

#❧ ooc. #he's deranged #and i intend to make that obvious

[hochrot]

it’s been a while, and this muse will be returning to tumblr slowly methinks, but i’ve cleaned up most of the stuff i wanted to in order to create a space for diluc again... i think last i was on here my hand was numb as hell for several months so writing was Rough but it has (once again) regained feeling, and returning to sucrose’s blog made me wanna do some spring cleaning here too (yknow, in the winter)

#❧ ooc. #i think diluc will be more lowkey than sucrose #on sucrose i'm looking to make new friends and reach out to people #but here i might be a bit more private #at least until i have my shit worked out

[hochrot]

*vibrates but like in frustration* i keep wanting to come back here and do more stuff and i know i have things i was supposed to write but god. my hand goes numb every time i sit at my desk. i mean it's like consistently numb-ish but it just goes completely fucky when i sit at my computer, and i do not own a laptop :< i'm really sorry to anyone i've promised starters/replies to lately, i had a nerve test done last week and i really just need to keep desk-sitting to a minimum.

#❧ ooc. #i'm bitter

[hochrot]

i wanna make my blogs more mobile friendly but i don't know shit about making pretty things so linking to other sites where i can put my rules and shit always frustrates me — gotta remember when i wake up to put my rules in my pinned post finally u.u

#❧ ooc. #i just don't do graphic design well at all #and having boring empty pages linked makes me feel.. #not good #so i'd rather keep it in a post i suppose #i need to finish redoing this blog big time

[hochrot]

forces my artwork upon your eyeballs pretend he's covered in combat and burn scarring, i couldn't bring myself to care today :pensive:

#❧ noctua. #❧ moss art. #partial nudity // #kinda not really #do shoulders count? tiddies without nips?? idk #anyway can y'all tell i gave lineart the middle finger

[hochrot]

WE ARE NOT ACKNOWLEDGING THAT IT’S CURRENTLY THREE PAGES OF INFORMATION

me: keep it short, concise, to the point. you don’t need to give every single life detail in his bio page. people will learn as they go. also me: but what if instead of doing that really good idea, i listed every trait of covert narcissism that crepus had and how it personally affected diluc? me: ;-; i fucking suppose

#❧ ooc. #i'm really passionate abt this don't @ me #or do it's whatever #i'm still typing #someone delete this whole document so i cry and don't want to redo it

[hochrot]

me: keep it short, concise, to the point. you don’t need to give every single life detail in his bio page. people will learn as they go. also me: but what if instead of doing that really good idea, i listed every trait of covert narcissism that crepus had and how it personally affected diluc? me: ;-; i fucking suppose

#❧ ooc. #i'll put it in the extra notes at the bottom #promise #you don't Have to read it #but it'll be there #for fucking sure #i used to write crepus but like how diluc sees him #as a father who was trying his best and didn't necessarily do everything right #but . no #i've read his new skin description #i know the damn signs #*types furiously about narcissistic traits* #*dissociates*

[hochrot]

i literally haven't updated my bio for diluc since i first made him like two months after the game's release, someone smack me so i can just fuckin redo it

#❧ ooc. #genuinely this is so fucking funny to read through #it's so bland #i'm so lazy #better things are incoming i promise

[hochrot]

@ecleips.

a cautious look, glacial eyes lowering to the glove, there he knows diluc once harboured the delusion. he could still feel the residual remnants of the abyss that might never leave his brother after using it for so long. ' ... how is your hand ? '

🔥     —      though it seemed to be quite rare for one to catch master diluc without a crease in his brow, a soft little line giving the general public a glimpse of how he carried his stress, there was one common thread between each time dawn's features relaxed: his brother. diluc's skin smoothed over, no lines in his forehead or beside his nose, giving an even more youthful appearance to a man who had only entered adulthood several years prior. despite the fact that kaeya put a vast amount of effort into being a thorn in diluc's side, and that he seemed to find immense amounts of glee in truly living up to the 'annoying little brother' title that was so affectionately bestowed upon him, he was also diluc's safe haven, a home to return to when hope was lost and nerves were frayed. sometimes acknowledging how much he cared for kaeya left his chest aching with a pain that not even a sword between his ribs could compete with — it was a sharp reminder that everything in this life is temporary, and he should not get too comfortable.

kaeya's voice, gentle though it was, severed diluc's thoughts at the root, and while it took a moment for the redhead's empty gaze to break away from the wall behind frostwind's shoulder, life returned to fiery eyes upon meeting kaeya's own.   ❝ hm? ❞    regarding his brother with a look of mild confusion, dawn took a moment to replay the words over in his mind.    'how is your hand?'    ah, that. now that he was more attentive the words finally sank in, and diluc realized quite belatedly that he was massaging the back of the hand in question, little back and forth movements with his thumb between the metacarpals. normally he'd have dropped his hands to his sides, shrugging off the question and using it to change the topic, but instead now noctua opted to be honest. this was kaeya, after all, and kaeya was the most observant man diluc knew — and after everything they'd been through together, he could be sure that attempting to lie to his brother would simply drive them further apart. diluc was a poor liar, of that he was well aware, but he also knew kaeya to be someone who gave what he got, and if diluc started hiding things kaeya was likely to close himself off as well.

❝ i think i've overworked it this week, ❞   mouth curved into a soft frown, and he tugged at the wrist of his glove, pulling it to fit snugly once more.   ❝ nothing major, not at the moment. ❞   memories ran through his head as if they were stills in a kamera, one by one coating his thoughts in thick, viscous ooze, a feeling he now related so closely to the insurmountable rage he once held within. it had been quite some time since diluc had used that delusion, but the toll it had taken was irreversible. he'd wielded that weapon with great strength and blinding accuracy, and it had taken to him like a loyal companion; the ease with which dawn had struck down the lives of fatui across snezhnaya might only be thanks to that power. despite how alluring it was to hold that much capability in one's hands, not bestowed upon him by celestia but rather by fate itself, the relationship kindled between diluc and his father's delusion was anything but symbiotic.

it had taken too long for diluc to acknowledge that the device was harming him, devouring his vitality with its endless, insatiable maw, and longer still to come to terms with the idea that he would need to let it go or the consequences would be innumerable.   ❝ i think about it, sometimes. ❞   his voice had gone quieter, a little less sure — he'd never really detailed the effect it had on him aloud.   ❝ the delusion, i mean. it felt like the most important thing in the world for so long, i think i lost a lot of myself to it. ❞   for a moment, dawn hesitated, glancing up to kaeya as he considered whether or not he should continue.   ❝ and i... i still feel it, as if it's left behind a residue that won't come clean — sometimes i think my hand is the least of my concerns. ❞   swallowing thickly, he resumed the rubbing motions with his thumb.    ❝ i get this eerie feeling in the back of my mind that the cost may have shaved years off my life. ❞

#ecleips #❧ ic. #❧ main. #sorry for how long this got #oof

[hochrot]

so do i nab a caffeine pill and stay up to draw diluc for the first time in.. checks watch . 7+ months

or do i sleep on time like a healthy person

#❧ ooc. #a dilemma

[hochrot]

✦     —     frustration coursed through him, vessels beneath his skin trying frantically to keep up with the way his heart pumped nervous energy into his body. oh, to find one's soul attached to that of a monster, to treat such a creature with gentle kindness, a kindness so undeserved that it very nearly brought diluc to laughter. the feeling caught in his throat, for just a moment, before the noise of utter disbelief escaped his lungs, leaving his chest feeling vacant, cold. swallowing hard, he pressed the heel of his palm into one of the lacerations that bubbled with thick, dark blood, grimacing as the liquid squelched between his fingers.

i've prepared for this. i'm prepared to lose him, it's inevitable, it's always been a matter of when, never if.

crimson gaze flickered across the harbinger's slim body, taking mental note of his injuries, only turning to make eye contact once more upon hearing the tone dottore's voice took. the insincerity that lay deep below the eyes he'd come to know so well meant little to him until his mind caught up with his body, repeating that once sentence over and over again.

the world would be safer without me.

diluc knows it's true, he knows better than most what this man is capable of. he'd seen with his own eyes the sorts of things that he'd done, lives that he'd ruined without remorse, without understanding. in any other circumstance diluc would have been glad to run his own blade across the fragile throat of the man in his arms, but here, now, the pathetic sight before him was one he'd come to fear.   ❝ i ought to, ❞   his voice held a note of bitterness, resentment, but the pain beneath was undeniable,    ❝ if i had any sense whatsoever i'd go now and never look back. ❞   shifting the doctor's weight in his arms, he stood with a low huff, shaking the hair out of his eyes.   ❝ hang on. if you are to die by the hand of another, it will be mine, and mine alone. until then.. please, stick with me. ❞

STARTER  CALL      :     @hochrot​​​​  .

Such  a  pretty  snarl  you  don  today,  mister  just,  pity  is  that  your  ire  does  not  extend  to  your  bloodied,  dirty  hands.    ❝  Have  I  upset  you  ?  ❞    is  the  loveless  croon,  disappointment  coming  to  blossom  under  the  haze  of  a  derailed  clutch.    [  126,  127,  128,  the  pulse  quickens  ].    (  Why  this  mercy  ?  ).    Eyes  flutter  close  as  a  mouth  carves  a  partner’s  jaw,  it’s  wordless  worship,  soothing  in  the  way  it’s  not,  hopeless  in  the  way  it  has  always  been  known.    (  He  is  no  fool  to  love’s  worth  ).    [  The  body  shivers,  diluted  the  warmth  that  once  clung  to  the  vessel.    The  lethality  in  how  rapidly  his  conscious  is  fading  is  indicative  to  the  need  to  take  immediate  action  in  repairing  the  lacerations  that  blemished  him,  lest  he  be  decommissioned  ].    But  what  for  in  such  kind  arms  ?

Yet  his  laughter  is  still  cruel  in  spite  the  softness,  his  fingers  cling.    (  And  how  does  your  repulsion  wake  !    Is  it  because  it’s  me  ?    Or  is  that  your  uncalled  for  regard  ?  ).    [  HIS  BREATH  QUICKENS  ].    Still  such  a  fragile  thing  we  both  are.

But  he  puts  it  aside.    (  What  failure  you’ve  made  of  me  ),    Humored  eyes  strike  the  guilt  found  in  a  lover’s  gaze.  The  note  is  bland,  yet  painful  and  sharp.      ❝  The  world  would  be  safer  without  me.  ❞    It’s  an  ugly,  combative  smile,  an  insensitive  curl  to  a  voice  that  could  never  be  anything  but.    ❝  No  effort  from  your  part,  walking  away  would  be  enough  to  do  it,  so  why  don’t  you  ?  ❞

#unethos #❧ ic. #AYO I REMEMBERED MY PASSWORD #also stabs you.

[hochrot]

i've been talked into coming back to diluc and i have so much muse. if anyone is still down to clown, like this if you wanna plot ? i can also just spike a starter onto the dash and see where it goes. lmk what you prefer when i dm! i'll also probably be reaching out to new people as long as i can kind of, clean out my blog and get some baseline things changed in his dossier and whatnot.

#❧ ooc. #cries #ive missed him #i'm having a rough time but i miss him so here i fkin am #i suppose

[hochrot]

logs in for the first time in ages bc diluc’s bday is coming up and i want to hurt him / also i’ve finally got access to my computer again so perhaps i can write / everyone is invited to send him bday asks bc i want him to suffer :)

#❧ ooc. #i know i've been gone for a long while #but damn i miss diluc #if anyone is willing to send anything i'd be v thankful #maybe i'll reblog a meme or two here

[hochrot]

i’m finally, finally a diluc haver :’)

#❧ ooc. #holy shit i cannot believe #494 days later