hollisartsblog

[hollisartsblog]

FOR EVERYONE WHO COMMISSIONED ME:

I'm so SORRY for the delay, sorry if I disappeared, I'm not death i swear, university really stole a lot of my time (literally spent nights doing homework for MONTHS, including these weeks since I have my semi final exam..animation academy folks..), I literally couldn't find a moment to breath, so I'm writing this for everyone who commissioned me months ago and haven't heard from me :( I swear I'll get back to you as soon as I can!!

#thank you for your patience #literally grateful #cant wait to draw for me again #myasks #commissions

[hollisartsblog]

hey guys this is weird to ask but a few minutes ago I saw a notification on my ipad from Tumblr from someone asking for s commission or something like that, I open Tumblr and it's GONE. I feel like I gaslighted myself? HAVE I DREAMED IT??? this message just to tell you that if some of you REALLY sent me a message asking for a commission, well, I lost it, so, send it again!! thank you!!

#literally i feelt like a fever dream #my asks

[hollisartsblog]

Well, for what it's worth, i'd say that Sober up please is one of my formative artistic and self discovery memories, that comic spoke so deeply to me when I first read it, and it was maybe the strongest trigger in my journey to self acceptance and getting out of a really really bad headspace about myself at the time. I dont mean to ramble, I just want to say that whatever other things you do in the future im so excited to see them, and to give yourself some credit. Even if it's old and you've grown past the artstyle, old art has so much more value than we often atribute to it. Keep creating, I wish to see how you grow and what you create in the future

I'm so happy to know it helped you. knowing that my art had and has such an impact on people makes me melt.

i have this experience with a lot of artists online, or comics, of fanarts, and seeing that I create the same experience with my art it's mind-blowing. one day maybe I'll change my mind and post it, who knows. I've recently came out of a really bad headspace where I created just for others to see, but now I can finally say I'm free :)

thank you

#myasks

[hollisartsblog]

dude!!!! Ditto with last anon! I have been so so excited for your GO art book, and whenever you're comfortable in the future I would absolutely love getting another art book from you in the future. Your art just makes me happy :) AND your cat is a beautiful boy give him a smooch for me pls. I hope you have a wonderful day!!! ❤️❤️

realllyyyyy old ask but thank you so much 💞 being thinking about creating a new zine

#myasks

[hollisartsblog]

Hi! I stumbled across your blog and I really like your art! May I ask what brushes/software you use?

responding to this very old ask-

anyway, I use clip studio paint and procreate :) thank you!

#myasks

[hollisartsblog]

hi! i follow you on twitter and im trying to read the please, sober up comic but u cant find out how? i try using the hashtag but i only get three posts and i really love the comic :(

i hope you havent deleted it ❤️

I've got bad news for you

I've..deleted it all..almost..sorry I just hated how I drew it and how I wrote the story 😭 sometimes I can't bear the sight of my old art

#good omens #myasks #im truly sorry............

[hollisartsblog]

i'm on my aspd izaya bullshit again but like. thru this lens, isnt his arc a perfect encapsulation on how aspd negatively affects the person that has it? even to this day, many professionals do not believe that pwASPD suffer from aspd. like at all. to the point where aspd was specifically listed as an outlier to the "patient distress is what defines a disorder" rule in an abnormal psych textbook

(see why i don't respect the field?)

but... he does suffer! a lot! like- remember his speech to mikado at the end of the first arc? how you need to keep evolving, keep changing in order to escape the mundane? how you have to keep going and going and going, wether it be aiming high or low?

yeah. normal people don't need to do this, izaya. you are a broken person.

but why SHOULD he be content with the mundane? the things people usually have that make them content with daily life- friends, family, a purpose, a distinct lack of extreme chronic boredom that drives you to do completely insane shit- izaya doesn't HAVE any of that!

"wait, chronic boredom?" i hear yall thinking. maybe. "isnt that an adhd thing?"

more than one disorder can have the same symptom. theres like a billion that have "want to die" as a symptom. but i dont really blame you for not knowing, its not talked about much

studies have shown that aspd and adhd are both problems with the dopamine receptors in the brain. more specifically, adhd is a chronic deficiency of dopamine, whereas with aspd, when you DO get dopamine, your brain gives you quardruple the normal amount.

studies have ALSO shown there to be a sort of... adhd to aspd pipeline. the story goes like this: you have a kid with adhd. maybe they're born like that, maybe the symptoms developed from trauma (which can happen? apparently??) anyway. kid gets abused. kid develops conduct disorder as a result of that abuse, as a natural extension of the existing adhd symptoms. they're MORE impulsive, which leads to them hurting others- and if it sets off the dopamine receptors, an abused kid starving for happiness and power is gonna chase it, no matter what. theyre like, six, they dont know anything about like. morality. all they know is, theyre sad and this makes them happy. anyway kid never gets treated, abuse continues to exasperate the symptoms, and now you have an adult with aspd, AND the original adhd diagnosis! and ptsd, which is HIGHLY comorbid with aspd! and probably another personality disorder, because you're actually statistically more likely to have two of them!

anyway! that's ONE of the ways aspd can develop from trauma, which it is Known To Do.

does any of that sound pleasant to go through? at all?

let me ask you a question:

imagine you aren't getting dopamine. maybe it's your adhd. maybe you're depressed. either way, you try to get it any way you can. wether it's throwing yourself into a hobby or a job, so the sense of satisfaction gives you dopamine, or something like drugs or gambling.

now, imagine that "rush" you felt. was Four Times Stronger.

wouldnt that compel you to do increasingly dangerous and risky shit, just to feel okay? imagine if you had no friends. imagine if this was your only way to be happy. wouldnt you, eventually, stop caring about others and only care about yourself? after all, other people have thinga like friends and a family that you don't have. they have a fallback. you only have this.

and you might say, "i'd never do that!" but every addict says that, and most eventually cross that line out of sheer desperation. and this? effectively makes you into a dopamine addict. which is dangerous! you can't just STOP... gettng dopamine....! it's necessary! but you have no help so you keep doing what youre doing. (and how could you get help? its baked into the system that people like you don't suffer. why try if youll just get burned?

anyway, back to izaya.

he's lonely. he has one friend and he sucks. he feels compelled to do these things even though he KNOWS it'll hurt him.

i stole this screenshot from some1 who insulted my friend once for something stupid <3 die

but it illustrates my point very well! does it look like he has much control over things?? he sure like to ACT like he does, but at the end of the day, he doesn't, really. he ends up spiraling more and more, doing increasingly risky and rash things, just to get his end goal... which is to die and ascend to the afterlife. a lofty goal.

aiming high, isn't he? a final, spectacular evolution.

or, it should have been.

but it wasn't.

izaya's impulses and deep desire to continue becoming more and more drastic, coupled with his lack of personal ties to anyone that could keep him from doing so....

it didn't make him ascend. it left him in a wheelchair, with chronic pain that will last his whole life.

THAT is where mental illness takes you. it doesn't make you a hollywood psychopath, reveling in the destruction you chose, of your own free will, wholly and truly, to cause. it makes you want More. no matter what, you need More. you see people content with lives worse than yours, everyone bound together with some sort of invisible thread, some sort of tie that keeps them together. a thread that missed you. your brain refuses to see people as people, thus you remain lonely forever, unsatiafied wirh company other than the superficial, because it's fun. that's all you're allowed to care about. an endless cycle of bigger and bigger actions, impulses slowly getting worse--

--and the worst part is, it tricks you into believing you ever had a choice. it tricks everyone into believing you had a choice. your suffering is worse than disregarded, to all the people you look at from your apartment, all the people you wish you could have been like.

it's nonexistant.

[hollisartsblog]

Ineffable Riddlebird + Trust

[hollisartsblog]

tying Guillermo's robe. "don't be nervous we've all been through it". "nothing you cannot handle". putting together the whole ceremony. "you wanna be a human, there's no shame in that". "we're gonna make it happen". "you want me to do it?". "I don't know" "I do". keeping Guillermo's old glasses in his pocket. "I'm sorry, Guillermo. that was the only way for you to figure out what you actually wanted". hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "it was a horrible and hard decision. I think you made the right choice".

[hollisartsblog]

Reminders for the Anxious/Depressed Creatives

You’re more than what you make.

Your productivity does not determine your value.

It’s okay to do nothing sometimes.

Not everything you do has to result in a product.

Not everything you make has to be important, significant, or even good.

You can make things just for yourself.

You can keep secrets for yourself, whether it’s not posting some of your projects or not sharing your techniques.

You’re allowed to say no.

You’re allowed to rest.

[hollisartsblog]

May i ask you what brushes do you use? its just that your art is absolutely lovely!

im so sorry to disappoint you but I'm too chaotic to even remember and now I don't have my tablet with me 😭 I used to download a bunch of random brushes from the cps store and that's it, while I created others and they are on my Patreon!! but I usually use the most chalky/ pencil look alike ones

#good omens #myasks

[hollisartsblog]

WAAAAA I just discovered your art and im absolutely in love! its so beautiful your good omens drawings!

THANK YOU SOWOSO MUCH!!

#good omens #myasks #thank you?!

[hollisartsblog]

oh and perhaps theyll make statues of you

if a dreaming king is so inclined

they will butcher your likeness

beat rock and splinter your name across

on accounts of men who scoffed

with the praise of men in kind

i will sit beside each one

in the morning and the night

surely anything of yours

wouldn’t stand for being left behind

your hand would be cold

silence ringing in mine

oh angel sometimes i curse you

for leaving me alive

inspired by a beautiful fanart of @hollisartsblog !!

#love it so bad #omg which one did insoire you to write this? #good omens

[hollisartsblog]

Crowley literally fighting for his life here looking like he's about to throw up and pass out trying to 'hold that thought'

#hes so me literally im him hes me #i feel you so much i can literally see the nausea of anxiety in his expressions #also can we talk about of good david's acting is???????? like his expressions are so good and SHDKHD

[hollisartsblog]

#Aziraphale didn’t know he was starving for Crowley’s love until he tasted him.

#what the fuck. #WHY WOULD U SAY THAT NOW IM CRYINH #go2 spoilers

[hollisartsblog]

psst..new followers...these fanarts were made 4/3 years ago?? so yeah!! just a distraction until I finally come home from my trip and start drawing something new 😭

im so so so happy that I finally updated my redbubble profile after years! I managed to put almost all of my go art there!

like..

yeah:

you remember these, right.? ( and so many more but TIME IS KEY)

NOW THEY ARE HERE, as pins, stickers, posters, postcards, and so on!!

MY redbubble link!

literally so happy!!

#if you want my tag is myart #also i CANT ANYMOREEE i wanna draw thats it but im still travelling but im back in 3 days IM SO HAPPY BUT ALSO EXHAUSTED!! #cant wait to try my nowdays-style on them #its been so long

[hollisartsblog]

im so so so happy that I finally updated my redbubble profile after years! I managed to put almost all of my go art there!

like..

yeah:

you remember these, right.? ( and so many more but TIME IS KEY)

NOW THEY ARE HERE, as pins, stickers, posters, postcards, and so on!!

MY redbubble link!

literally so happy!!

#good omens art #good omens #ineffable husbands #redbubble #so happy i missed selling some of my stuff!! #artist support #aziraphale fell #Anthony Crowley #aziracrow