homgharry

[homgharry]

may 2020 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment

[homgharry]

So I came up with an idea today.

When I mess up, as soon as my anxiety brain starts berating me and saying horrible things about myself, I can just cut it off and in my best Wayne from Letterkenny internal voice think “wish you weren’t so awkward, bud.” And just move on.

I even made a memo for my desk at work.

[homgharry]

[homgharry]

[homgharry]

[homgharry]

“I don’t fits.” (via queenofchances)

[homgharry]

Turn off location

[homgharry]

Emily Kaplan asks NHL players if they have trouble finding pants due to their.. assets.

Hockey players have big butts, and they cannot lie

[homgharry]

I’m not angry I’m just yelling how I feel.

Pup @ohayo_kuma

[homgharry]

most iconic things shane madej has said in buzzfeed unsolved 

 “yeah, that rings a bell or two, that shakes a tambourine.” 

“let me spin you a yarn, that you shan’t soon forget. I’m being eaten alive by crabs right now.” 

“I’M STRAAAANGE, AND OFF-PUTTING !” 

“I’m disrespectful, but I’m talking to dust and cobwebs.” 

“HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY” 

“Cops in the 70s were like, oh you just killed someone ? You got 20 bucks ?” 

Everything he said on Goatman’s Bridge. 

*imitating a man claiming to be D.B Cooper on his deathbed* “I have something to tell you…… I’m the phantom of the skyyyyyyy” 

*laying down on a pentagram* “ROCK N ROLL, BUCKAROO” 

“Look I’m not here as a doctor. I just wanna see some of this crazy shit.” 

“You better watch out or Yankee Jim will give you some taffy. Some folks say they hear him playing a jolly little kazoo tune in the middle of the night.” 

[homgharry]

“stop saying youre gay, youre dating a boy”

[homgharry]

mermaids with starfish covering their boobs is a great concept until you like.. remember what starfish are i mean ma’am theres an animal on your titties 

[homgharry]

me watching monsters inc as a kid: how did it take so long for anyone to figure out that human child laughter not only produced energy like screams, but was more effective, and that children aren’t actually dangerous at all?

me watching monsters inc now: monsters incorporated, a multi-billion dollar corporate giant, stood to make extra profits off a scream shortage because low supply with high demand makes it possible to charge a fortune for a necessary commodity and everyone has no choice but to pay the high prices because they can’t go without electricity. Therefore Monsters Inc, as well as any other major powers that may have existed at the start of the era of using scream energy, fabricated the idea that only screams could generate sustainable energy sources in order to create artificial scarcity, because laugh energy was far easier to obtain and far more efficient, and therefore stood to lower the value of energy due to surplus. They also fabricated the idea that human children were toxic, in order to a) make other monsters too afraid to go near them to do research and possibly discover the secret of laugh energy, and b) to make monsters so afraid of going near them that there is a shortage of scarers, making it harder for rival companies to rise up and create competition. Even in the monster world, capitalism is based on lies, greed and cruelty, and even monster companies have no qualms about using and abusing children to maximize profits.

[homgharry]

[homgharry]

I want to watch a thunderstorm on a balcony with coffee and good company.

[homgharry]

[homgharry]

Your soulmate is out there, but you guys will never meet each other because neither of you like to go out.