honeybeebaby2742 - Tumblr blog

honeybeebaby2742 · 2 years

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Sorry i was gone so long I was trying not to unsubscribe from life......but im back and I lost 2lbs so here I am ready to lose some more!

#bonespii #it's not as simple as just eating #tw eating mention #eating disoder tips #ana meal #anamina #eating disoder mention #just ed shit #tw bones #cw disordered eating

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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Dont mind the mess

Also so bloated from my period uggg

110.0

#bonespii #it's not as simple as just eating #tw eating mention #eating disoder tips #ana meal #anamina #eating disoder mention #just ed shit #tw bones #cw disordered eating #body ch3ck

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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Hey everyone I need a coach/ana buddie to help me idfc if its sketchy at this point I'm 21 I'm 5'2 and 110lbs

My ugw is 90lbs

Fix me

#ana coach #bonespii #it's not as simple as just eating #tw eating mention #eating disoder tips #ana meal #anamina #eating disoder mention #just ed shit #tw bones #cw disordered eating

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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Empty

A cold bottemless pit

Its somehow worse

Worse then overwelming crushing emotions

Because I KNOW where those come from

Somehow being emotionless is worse

Worse then the feelings that seem to have no end

Worse then the feelings that want to eat me alive

That crave nothing more then to be the end of me

To devour every part of me

You know thoes feelings?

You know the ones that make it hard to breathe?

The ones the ones that hurt SO bad you feel like you might die?

The ones that make you WANT to die?

Yea......

Some how empty is worse

I cant place it

I cant explain it

Because all I feel

All i am now is..

Empty

#bonespii #it's not as simple as just eating #tw eating mention #eating disoder tips #ana meal #anamina #eating disoder mention #low cal ana #tw ed stuff #just ed shit #tw suicude #tw sh mention #tw bones #mental illness #sad boi hours #sad quotes #sadcore #someone save me #i feel empty

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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They say it gets better. But ive seen the better and bad always follows

Bad better bad better bad worse bad better bad bad bad worse worse worse

So whats the point?

I'm so very tired....

#depressing thoughts #depersonalisation and derealisation #depressing shit #depressiv #depressing post #tw depressing stuff #someone save me #im sorry #im tired

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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I want to get off this escalator.

I'm always moving ,

Going going going,

I just want it to stop.

For awhile, maybe longer.

Always working,

Always thinking,

Always always always.

I just need sleep I say.

But its more than that,

Its a deep kind of tired.

One in my soul.

One that sleep cannot fix.

Theres only one thing that can,

But idk if I'm strong enough,

Strong enough to try that again.

Because last time it didnt work.

I cant even do that right.

I just need off.

I need it to be still again.

Was it ever still?

Will it ever be in this life?

Maybe the only way to find out,

the only way for it to be still,

It's to climb over the railing,

And jump.

#depressing thoughts #depressing shit #depressing post #depressiv #depersonalisation and derealisation #kinda depressing #depressing quotes #this is depressing

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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How much pain do i need to go thru befor giving up is okay?

Because I'm so tired...

#depressing thoughts #depressing post #depressing shit #depressiv #mental illness #tw suicice

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honeybeebaby2742 · 3 years

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I went thru hell as a kid, not looking for sympathy its just a fact, but I went thru hell. Rape,physical, mental, emotional, verbal abuse, drug dealers for parents, sold for meth, living in storage units, homeless shelters, crapy 1 bed hotel rooms with my 6 other siblings, being the parent sibling,moving constently, never knowing when wed eat again, finding out if u swallow your food whole it takes longer to digest,never having hot water, in and out of school, my best friend killed herself , my baby sister died, father in and out of jail,got prego at 13 and put her up for adoption. Then finally we got out....finaly we were free right? Wrong. Only to be put in a forster home with a narsicitst foster mom promising to adopt us then 5sec later telling me I'm scum and worthless and too far gone and no wonder my parents were like that because im a broken pice of shit. And i belived it. I belived it so much I tryed to kms 9 times and was in and out of the hospital until they droped me off at a homless shelter at 16.and adopted my siblings, they were my babies.one day I met my gf and moved in with her and her mom and I started visiting my siblings only for the foster mom to continue abusing me and telling my siblings I dont love them.when they found out I was gay they told me I was better of dead and messaged me for weeks telling me to kms.....and I wanted to....i still do...if it wernt for my gf I would honestly...but honestly thats what my ed does.....it distracts me from all that. If i focus on all the numbers and the cals then I dont have to focus on my past. And its the only thing keeping me from offing myself honestly. So when we report me its not heping, I'm in tharaphy I'm working thru my crap or trying to but rn this is all I can really control so pleas just block dont report this is all I have left, this is how i cope