Ironwood: So, which of you is the Team Daddy?
Jaune: The what?
Qrow: It ain’t gonna be me.
Ruby: Good, because I don’t feel comfortable calling my uncle, “daddy.”
Winter: I believe Mr. Arc should be the Team Daddy.
Jaune: Wait, fuck no! I… (Sighs) Alright, I guess I’m the Team Daddy.
Jaune: (Holding a “#1 Dad” mug) Yang, stop being the best and worst character at the same damn time!
Jaune: (Holding mug and wearing a Menagerie Island shirt) Weiss, stop being one sad story away from shopping at Hot Topic! I swear to Dust, I will turn this Volume around!
Jaune: (Holding mug and wearing shirt and wearing a “I Love Fishing” suncap) Penny, stop being a precious cinnamon bun, too good and pure for this fucking world!
Jaune: (Wearing hat and shirt and holding mug and standing in front of a grill) And Ruby… Fuck, Ruby, just keep doing you. Just don’t kill our teams because they’re fucking morons.
Ruby: I swear I saw Goofy’s bones!
Yang: For the last time, Ruby; no, you didn’t.
Ruby: I know what I saw, Yang! I saw Goofy’s bones!
???: Goofy doesn’t have bones…
Ruby: WHO SAID THAT?!
Yang: Look, I’ll ask Blake. Hey, Blake, does Goofy have bones?
Blake: Goofy? I mean, he’s a cartoon, so…
Ruby: Blake, listen to me! I swear, I was walking through the Disney Hall of Fame, and in the back, I saw Goofy’s bones!
Nora: Goofy only has skin…
Yang: Nora, that’s kind of creepy.
Jaune: Well, the worst part is that she isn’t lying. (Everyone is silent) What?
Ruby: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “SHE’S NOT LYING”?!
Yang: Hey, just letting you guys know, this was supposed to be a goofy story, and yes, I do mean, “Goofy,” but suddenly it just became an actual horror story!
Ruby: Jaune, what do you mean “Goofy only has skin”?!
Jaune: Well, I’ve only ever seen him take off his head and remove his skin, I’ve never seen him put away a skeleton.
Ruby: WHAT THE FU-?!
Jaune: Uh, you good?
Ren: Yeah, I just sneezed.
Yang: Really, because it sounds more like you’re getting hit by a bus.
Ren: I am. It’s called a sneeze.
Jaune: This place is supposed to be the plant that provides Mantle heat, but where is everybody?
Nora: Well, before we left, I called in a bomb threat.
Jaune: You shouldn’t lie about bombs, Nora.
Nora: (Pulls out a pack of C4) I didn’t!
jaune doing pull ups while nora clings to him and kisses him
Yang: Uh, what are you doing?
Jaune: (Between reps) I’m… doing pull-ups…
Nora: (Hanging from his neck) Uwah! (Kisses his cheek)
Jaune: And she’s… a sloth…
Yang: Uh, do sloths sound like that?
Jaune: No clue. (Drops) But I don’t care. I love my sloth, whatever she sounds like. (Nora nuzzles into his neck)
(beware the lewd)
White Fang member: excuse me, High Leader Khan? may I come in?
Sienna, snarling: what is it?
WF: ah, um…
the WF enters the room, seeing the Khan behind her desk. Her fingers clack impatiently on the desk as she shoots the person entering a withering glare.
WF: yes, ma’am, high leader.
Sienna:…out with it.
WF: it’s about the human, miss khan.
Sienna: what of him?
WF: well…the guys are getting antsy about him being here. We don’t even get why he is here, and…
Sienna, breathing deeply in and out: and?
WF: I overheard some talking about beating him up, and, well, i was also wondering why he is here.
The high leader moves her hands into her lap, out of sight of the White fang rookie.
Sienna: you should all be made aware that quite a bit of our funding comes from sympathizers and their donations.
WF: I mean, i figured fellow faunus would-
Sienna: not just faunus.
WF: come again?
Sienna, glare intensifying as her breathing goes even deeper: That human, Jaune Arc, is the son of our most influential human donors. If something were to happen to him, not only they would withdraw support, but most others would lose trust in our cause as well. Not to mention the nightmare PR!
She growls in apparent anger, and the WF starts sweating badly.
Sienna, thinking: ‘besides, his mother would give us all hell, if her letter is anything to go by’
Sienna: lastly, our recruitment drive would suffer if we were to kill one of those nominally under our protection as guests. and he is a guest, sent by one of their academies.
Sienna: Leave. The thinking. To me here. Since you want to throw your sense of morals to the beowolves.
WF: N-n-no, Miss high leader Khan, ma’am! I-I-I am sorry; i will tell everyonerightaway!
The WF leaves in a hurry, closing the door behind them.
She hunches over in her seat before reclining, her body undulating as she bites her lip. her hands still firmly in her lap, she shivers after just a small while, her body convulsing as she lets out small moans. Her eyes open again, hazy but accompanied with a content smile.
Sienna: that…was exactly what I needed.
From her lap, a mop of blond hair emerged. Blue eyes regard her with an adoration and desire that makes the tiger’s skin tingle with delight.
Jaune: I never did this before. Kind of exciting, heh.
Sienna had taken a shine towards the young man Beacon sent as some form of ambassador and hostage in one. He was to ensure that the White Fang would cease operations in Vale. Taurus was anything but happy about this, but Taurus was also woefully short-sighted in his campaign against humanity, no matter how he sounded with his visions.
they all sounded like smoke and mirrors to her, dreams of a fanatic.
Alas, this was not the time to think of an angsty bull, but rather to think of the hunky young man they had sent her. She absent-mindedly stroked his hair as he kissed the side of her thigh, still looking at her. Three days after his arrival, they had developed this relationship.
What could she say? He was just her type.
Sienna: and you did very well. i had to fight to keep calm. No one fucks with what is mine.
Jaune: so, am i more than just a boytoy.
Sienna:….you always were.
He smiled up at her, making her feel needy for another part of him.
Sienna: come on up and rail me already.
Jaune, enthusiastically: yes, ma’am.
With that, he rose, gripping her around her hips, lifting Sienna out of the chair and onto the desk. His eagerness and hunger for her lit a fire in Sienna.
One that he would quench very soon.
Yang: Be careful up there.
Ruby: Are you kidding me?! I’m spooning a fifty cal! I COULD KILL A BUILDING!
Jaune: Danger is everywhere, Oscar, so it’s important to go over self defense techniques.
Oscar: (Swings The Long Memory into Jaune’s crotch, He collapses with a squeak)
Oscar: Oz always said the element of surprise was crucial.
Ironwood: I’m sorry for getting so emotional.
Winter: Your tone is maintaining it’s consistency, sir.
Ironwood: These years as your commanding officer, Schnee, have been some of the best of my life.
Winter: Oh, no, this is new.
Ironwood: And I know that you gave me everything everything you had. (Smiles) I will never forget it. (Walks outside to face Salem’s horde)
Winter: (In tears) Sir, please, go back to being a robot!
Ironwood: (Chuckles) Beep boop, General Schnee. I stand relieved. Good-bye. (Activates the lockdown behind him, sealing Winter inside)
Jaune: Ready for a kick-ass mission?
Nora: Hell yeah!
Ren: What exactly do you mean by “a kick-ass” mission?
Jaune: We’re going to establish diplomatic peace between Vacuo and Vale.
Ren: Ah, I see.
Nora: Does this mean I have to get rid of my ankle knife?
“So, it seems Atlas is dying because of me. Just gonna lock that up in a little box in my brain and never open it.”
Nora: So, Neo is a bit of a nightmare.
Jaune: Not really. She’s more of a daymare.
Ren: Those are much worse.
Jaune: This team has hit a new low. We’re on the run from the law, totally lost, with no professional Huntsmen, no lien, no clean clothes, and (pokes Ruby’s chest with each word) it’s all your fault!
Ruby: (Smiling) I love having a boyfriend.
Jaune may have survived NNN, but he would survive DDD?
blake: OHHH JAUNE. WHERE ARE YOU?