howtobeamagicalgirl

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

you sit down at the plastic table because your partner likes being outside at the bar even though it’s 90 degrees and 60% humidity at 10pm and you thought this corduroy dress was soooo cute but now youre all sweaty and so one of your balls has escaped your panties but youre wearing fishnets so your loose nut is now dying like a sea turtle in a six pack ring and youre the desperate diver trying to save it but blind and one handed and stone faced cause you can’t draw attention to the fact that youre doing a high stakes wildlife rescue on your stupid scrotum in public because it might turn into a six month news cycle and desantis might fly out to personally bulldoze the bar. and its a thursday

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

levelheaded normalday preppers have been stockpiling sensible amounts of coffee and frozen meals for when the world is the same as it usually is

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I'm so genuinely unhappy and idk what will help

#ranntics #sleep. will probably make it a little better #and I doubt that it will make it worse #good night

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

you've gotta be kidding me

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

this is literally how i feel about people born after 2002

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

dont mock me… youre just a dairy product!

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

New teacher who just started working at my center a couple months ago keeps telling me that I'm "SO lucky to only have eight kids" in my class. And I keep saying, well, the reason I have fewer kids is because they need much more support and one-on-one interaction, there are very few who have sufficient speech to communicate when there is a problem, so they're more likely to resort to biting/hitting/etc. And she tells me "oh my god, try being in the preschool age rooms for one day-"

I was.

For a year.

I like the age group I'm working with now but it is Not easier than having 20 kids who can use a toilet and wash their hands without someone helping them use the soap dispenser.

And it's such a rude way to talk to someone else about their job when you've only been out of college for like 4 months

Also hey girl, aren't you the one who didn't notice when one of your kids wandered away from your group on the playground and came all the way up to the toddler playground (30+ yards away and around a corner) and was up there chilling for a whole 10 minutes. And you only noticed bc I called the manager out to identify the kid and she went and yelled at you for letting a kid get that far away from your group. And you're only still employed bc I very generously underestimated the amount of time your kid had been up at my playground when the manager asked.

Like. Idk. Maybe it's a you issue.

#ranntics #girl find a better way to talk to your coworkers #everyone is going to hate youuuu if you talk to them like that 😭

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

FRIENDS 5.17 “The One with Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss"

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Poised in Perpetuity: Tanya Preminger’s ‘Round Balance’, 2008

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

can we just have, like, any feminist movement whatsoever. did everyone just stop caring?

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

have i ever shown u people my hand sofa

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

[howtobeamagicalgirl]