howtofaint

[howtofaint]

@vikinglumberjack @dancing-angel-faerie @biscocholondo1 @eliestela @azurelunatic @rachiealext @jinkiesvelma @burgersquid @yourcurvaciousnurse @drtar @winddame @eighteenthcenturyfiction @asmrmeditations-blog @sylvsanowlhoothoot @thelondonrich @sunny-sez @methadonna @slackmo @menwithoutheads @quedadequatro @orangeisthenew-jack @simplyruthmarketing @hamuertoelgatomayor @sameoldsavage @fatbettyfrancis-blog @ladybroblog-blog @michaelgrasso @intheconspiratorsround @embaembot 

Ray-Ban Sunglasses

[howtofaint]

That’s a hell of an unusual bodice. 🤔

Dress ca. 1810

From the Museo del Traje via the Museo del Romanticismo on Flickr

[howtofaint]

“Help me, baby badass” is my new “Help me, baby jeebus.”

[howtofaint]

Pfft. This isn’t Worth. It doesn’t have eighteen ruffles per square inch, much less ruching at irregular intervals, exasperatingly complex ribbon trim, a flower garden hanging off of one side of the skirt, a softserve swirl of intertwined gauzes swathed around the skirt, or even bows.

No bows. 

The outrage. The sheer travesty of it all!

For Worth, Spring/Summer 2014 by Josh Olins.

#worth #house of worth #guinscans #guineviere van chamois #wait no #kuineviere kardashian #shit wait #let me google it #definitely not kate moss #guineviere van seenus

[howtofaint]

kitten: i finally went into the weird sex store i walk by on the way home from work and was kind of overwhelmed by how most of their merchandise appears to be just shapes

kitten: like, they're all vibrators, but they look like tiny abstract sculptures in hundreds of different shapes

kitten: i feel like they must have had to invent new body parts to go with all these shapes

puppy: You don't need new body parts you just need to be more determined

#chat cabal #vibrators #body parts #overly complicated sex toys

[howtofaint]

a vag too far

lemon: komodo dragons and gila monsters: poison dinosaurs

me: my vagina is a poison dinosaur

lemon: [yellow] can we make that sentence into a movie

lemon: the one i said or the one [howtofaint] said

yellow: poison dinosaur: vagina triumvirate

me: i read that as polio dinosaur

yellow: polio vaginosaur

me: my vagina all hanging out in the iron lung ward with a bunch of dinosaurs

yellow: gila monsters are cool

lemon: of course they are

lemon: they have MONSTER as part of their actual name

me: so does my vagina

me: speaking of, one of my customers designed a bridge with big ol' monsters on it and it is really cool

me: it has towers with century plants but they died

me: the bridge not my vag

me: but still. my customer did that

me: the bridge not my vag

lemon: what

me: here are terrible pictures of it [link redacted]

me: my vag not the bridge

lemon: agh i'm so confused

lemon: look imma go to bed

#chat cabal #sad saturday shut-ins #gila monsters #monsters #bridges #dinosaurs #poison dinosaurs #a vag too far

[howtofaint]

Contrary to apparently 100% of the commentariat on TLo, I love that hat. Sorry, everyone. Sorry. If it had been in a color more flattering to her, a muted turquoise or pink or moss, perhaps, and worn with the appropriate hair (think Lady Mary), and the right outfit this would've been fabulous.

As it stands, it's audacious and makes me want to hug her so tightly...

...as a ploy to accidentally knock it off her head while I whisper, "Girl, no. Nuh-uh. Not in this color. Not in that hostess getup. No."

#christina hendricks #vintage hats #yellow #tlo #tom and lorenzo #tacori

[howtofaint]

The Knick, or: The Curious Case of What the Fuck is Wrong With Me?

There is on Cinemax a new show called The Knick. If the dialog is sometimes clunky, it's still everything I could ever wish for in a show: period drama, unique and creative soundtrack, fascinating characters, meticulously researched, thoughtfully costumed--not just pretty fluffy ball gowns and suits, but costumes that look like clothes real people wore--brilliantly acted, fantastically directed...

Well. It is Steven Soderbergh's baby. It also stars a wonderfully cold yet moody Clive "Warren" Owen and Rebecca De Mornay a particularly magnificent Andre Holland as the leads.

Watch the show, and then follow welcometotheknick​ for the best fandom created gifs and screenshots and attheknick​ for official trailers and Barrow's diary. You'll thank me. You really will, or else we have completely different tastes in entertainment and will be as bewildered by mine as I am by yours. Either way, it's fun!

There's just no way I'll ever be able to gush about this show, though. The last time anything made me this happy, this completely and utterly pleased with life and the universe and the grubby goings on of this rotten earth, I was getting boned eighteen ways from Judgment Day making love for the first time with the first man I've ever loved.

I can't explain that lovemaking. I don't know if I should even try. But I am an ambitious idiot, so I'll attempt to try.

It was--

No.

Never mind.

The point is every time I think about that night, I still feel like true happiness suckerpunched me and every time I watch The Knick, I feel the exact same way.

There's something very wrong with me, is what I'm saying.

#the knick #at the knick #AtTheKnick #clive owen #clive warren #clove owen #steven soderbergh #andre holland #algernon edwards #algie #john thackery #thack #dr edwards #dr thackery

[howtofaint]

But what was Herm doing to that pig?!

While The Knick is a work of fiction, it is based on exhaustive historical research. Below, the show’s writers share some of the true facts of the era that are depicted in this episode.

Abigail’s contraption is a real piece of equipment worn by people who had lost their nose to syphilis.

#attheknick #the knick #period drama #early 20th century #cinemax #clive owen #the busy flea #the furnace-roasted pig? #no but seriously #wtf was he up to

[howtofaint]

You've left out my favorite bit from this episode: during surgery, they mention Hunter's ligation, a technique for treating aneurysms developed by John Hunter in 1785.

While The Knick is a work of fiction, it is based on exhaustive historical research. Below, the show’s writers share some of the true facts of the era that are depicted in this episode

Lucy’s riding the relatively modern “safety bicycle” with two equal-sized wheels – as opposed to the...

#the knick #attheknick #john hunter #clive owen #modern medicine #modern physick #surgical techniques #best show ever

[howtofaint]

a moment for rambling

I've done something horribly, terribly wrong with my life to not receive amazing press kits from period dramas. Well. Hopefully AMC's John Hunter pilot will be picked up and if it's even half so amazing as The Knick, I will be very content indeed.

If it's somehow even more amazing than The Knick and they send me an awesome press kit, I'll probably disappear in a puff of glee.

Luckily, it'll probably be disappointing and I'll seethe that there will never be a Hunter biopic starring James McAvoy who, if not a perfect likeness, has something about him that reminds me of Hunter's dreamy portrait. He'd be amazing in that role.

Anyway. The Knick is pretty damn grand and I'm kind of in love with the cadence of stiff and proper upper class American accent of the period. It's not easy to pull off, but Juliet Rylance does a great job.

#the knick #attheknick #clive owen #liquid cocaine #fuck yeah john hunter #john hunter #juliet rylance

[howtofaint]

Damn it. That is amazing. The only thing I ever come home to is dog poop by the back door.

And I don’t even have a dog. :(

Came home from a long day at work to find a delightful box of treasures. attheknick

#okay yes i do and they're very yappy #attheknick #the knick

[howtofaint]

Between the Old Spanish and the Generalissimo turning out to have been Manolo Colon and now this, I'm starting to think that 30 Rock was right about Mad Men all along. 

#30 rock #mad men #don draper #liz lemon #peggy olson #eerie prophecies #(or are they eerie spoilers?)

[howtofaint]

I’ve really wanted a mohawk for over 2 months. My mom told me it would look horrible, my dad told me I’d look weird, even one of my friends told me it might make me look “fat” since I have a round face. I was going to lose some weight before I cut my hair, but last week I got fed up with...

#orale #fatshion #fat girls short hair #fuck yeah short hair #mohawk #seriously that haircut is sassy as hell

[howtofaint]

"Oh, don't mind me. I'm just playing my harp. No, no! Keep vacuuming! The sound doesn't bother me at all..."

An employee dusting in the Mercury Salon at Versailles

[image: © EPV / Didier Saulnier]

#it totally bothers him #versailles #mercury salon

[howtofaint]

Can't we do something about this? Can't we round up enough people on tumblr and twitter and facebook to bombard Target and say that this is unacceptable? That we demand they change back to the way things were or even (gasp!) improve? Their previous plus range wasn't exactly plentiful, but it was colorful and had enough cute things to balance out the matronly garbage. The sizing was decent and mostly consistent, going up to a 28. I could go to Target and know 9 times out of 10 that I could just buy something off the rack in my size and it was going to fit. Now, even if there was anything in the store I even wanted, I feel like I have to try it on. I was a 2 in the old line. Now I'm barely fitting into their new version of a 3 without having gained an ounce. I have friends who were sized out completely.

This...this is just unacceptable. Yet so far most people have just shrugged and moved on. Like we always do. I mean, why not, right? There are so many options online... We can just take our money elsewhere, right?

I'm tired of that. I'm tired of rolling over and taking the crapshoot that is buying online. I'd like to be able to just walk in a damn store and pick up a cute little dress for under $30 and be able to wear it the same day, just because I can. Just because I wanted a little pick-me-up while buying toilet cleaner after a long, hard day at work. Just because I wanted something new to wear on a last-minute date but didn't want to deal with the mall or spend a ton of money. Just because I feel like it. 

Maybe we could even combine this with #plussizeplease and have a day where we all go to Target and tweet pics at them of every damn thing in the straight sizes that isn't nailed down? 

That’s it. That’s the plus size section at the Target here.

#fatshion #fashion #plus fashion #wtfplus #target #FUCK TARGET #plussizeplease #look at me whining that i have disposable income and nowhere to dispose of it like a fucking asshole

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Perfect. I'm going to do this, especially since Target's plus size line has been relaunched as a pathetic joke.

How often have you been shopping and you come across something that is just PERFECT, but does not go up to your size? Over 60% of American women wear a size 14 or above, but only 17% of clothing sold is 14 & up. That is a ridiculous disparity.

Moreover, when some brands move into plus (ahem H&M), they throw their signature trendy looks by the wayside in favor of flowy dark fabrics that they think “work” for plus sizes. That is crap. Plus size women want color, print, and structure. Moreover, we want variety. A group this numerous cannot be a monolith, and since style is such a personal thing, we all have different tastes. I want #plussizeplease to be a way to showcase the demand for styles we’d buy and rock, and all the money brands are forfeiting by refusing to expand their sizes.

So here’s how to use it:

1) Snap a picture of a garment you love but does not come in your size. Include the brand and price, tagging the company if possible. For example, I am in love with this Zara marble print dress. I would have purchased it yesterday if it went above a size L. My tweet would be:

“.@Zara marble print sheath, $59. I’d buy it right now if it came in my size. #plussizeplease”

2) Use it on any social media – Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest… even Facebook supports hashtags now.

3) Tag anything you’d purchase, whether in store or online.

4) Feel free to include the size range it comes in and/or the size you think you’d need. Sizing can be tricky, so this is definitely not required.

5) Tell your friends! I don’t just want this to be a blogger thing – I want all women who wear size 14 and up to show their purchasing power and share styles they love. Let’s be unignorable!

#plus fashion #plus size #fatshion