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Oh man living in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife and owning a large automobile fucking slaps

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Mean Girls (2004) House MD (2009)

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lord the peasants are so loud today

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having a fixation on star trek in 2023 is like riding a horse-drawn carriage down the interstate

#:3 #star trek

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I’ve only got three possible reactions to watching a TOS episode:

“I can’t believe this aired” (the worst plot you’ve ever seen on tv)

“I can’t believe this aired” (a piece of media so beyond its time and still relevant to today’s discussions, that I’m surprised it didn’t got censored at the time it went on air)

“I can’t believe this aired” (gay as fuck)

#star trek

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We need more honorifics for when you like get good at something like dr ...like maybe if you, eat, 1000000 hotdogs you can be htdg. That's a fucking stupid example but you're not paying me to come up with posts now are you .

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the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

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sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

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a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant “two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’” “got it. check my dashboard” “that skeleton gif you like is back again” he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

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what if it was called vaggie tales instead lol. ok youre gonna wanna save this one to drafts girl. just save it to drafts

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Unfortunately this is funny as hell

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I am so proud to say that my college is so LGBT friendly, that in a survey Res Life put out they forgot to include straight people.

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whatever

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taylor swift fans are so scary it's like i'm in the truman show. watching taylor swift fans talk about how she soo gets neurospicy mental illness grippy sock vacation is exactly how truman felt when his wife started advertising coffee or something to nobody in particular