hypergraphic-confessions

[hypergraphic-confessions]

January 10th

Grammatically (im)perfect ! Infinite souls vying for birth. Which are chosen to inhabit this earth! ? A life unwritten the path unknown. The road we choose, or the one we’re shown? . The end preordained, alone in the dark. All writing is done, but the final punctuation mark. 

[hypergraphic-confessions]

"I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl"

— Ron Pope, A Drop In the Ocean

#ron pope #drop in the ocean #love #waiting #wanting #qotd #together #words

[hypergraphic-confessions]

Dear alma mater,

#remembering you #Lang leav #Alma mater #Farewell #Goodbye #Memories #Fading memories

[hypergraphic-confessions]

In between the sunsets and sunrises, is life.

#Sunsets #Sr #Sunrises #Word #Qotd #Life #Life quotes #Sun #Rising sun #writing #writersofindia #Hypergraphia #Confessions

[hypergraphic-confessions]

Anecdote

It is the sweet summer of ‘08, you can hear the chirps and chirrups of innocent souls in the corridor coming from the walls of classroom 3-B, where Bindiya ma’am proposed an innocuous question to have the students interact and speak in English. She asks the 8 year olds, “What do you want to become when you grow up?” Among the cries of ‘Prime Minister’, ‘President of India’ and ‘Astronaut’, you can hear another popular answer that goes ‘A good human’ or ‘A good person’. The naive optimism is so touching that it carves itself deeply into the memories of 8-year old Shruti and her friends from 3-B.

10 years into their future, the dreams of becoming the Prime Minister or President of India have taken the forms of becoming well-educated engineers, doctors or lawyers, holistic designers or commerce geeks. One dream that still rings common within, however, is the innate want to become better, kinder, more honest, more giving as people. They go out into the world with the belief that people are good, and our common goal is to do good. However, somewhere down the line, the vision blurs. Selfish greed and endless desire for money and power settle themselves into a corner in the innocent hearts, and like a virus attack every inch of goodness and every cell of conscience that’s left within.

These educated adults metamorph into the roles of leaders of various domains. Malpractice looms large, conscience shrinks smaller and smaller. They become what they see. They become what they’re taught to be. But who taught them to cheat? Who taught them to bend the law? There are few of 3-B, who still believe in doing good and doing the right things, no matter the costs. Yet, when they truly see the world with untainted lenses, when they see the bad people and the bad practices they have to overcome, stop and change, all hope feels lost. The naive optimism that had settled itself in the heart of the child cries tears that define no cause and still ache foolishly and terribly.

Yet still, I refuse to give up. This is my country. This is my world. These are my people, plants and animals. I have to be the change I want to see. I have to try, even if it takes a lifetime and more.

Do not despair, there is still hope.

#better #kind #patient #fine #be the change #changemakers #optimist #optimism #anecdote #school #sr #shizuokaa #hypergraphia #confessions #india #summer #writers on tumblr #hypergraphic confessions #youth #embassador #tumblr #hope #despair #greed #desire #better world #save

[hypergraphic-confessions]

‘Love’ makes much more sense to me now

#me after you #knowing you #love #sr #hypergraphia #hypergraphic confessions

[hypergraphic-confessions]

“Just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the empty bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”

John Green, Looking For Alaska (via shades0fc00l)

I’m going through people’s favorite books and it’s fascinating

#favorite books

[hypergraphic-confessions]

ca·thar·sis

“Romance lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art. Besides, each time that one loves is the only time one has ever loved. Difference of object does not alter singleness of passion. It merely intensifies it. We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.” 

                                      ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

#oscar wilde #the picture of dorian gray

[hypergraphic-confessions]

You.

I would describe to you the setting of where I was, and the time when this happened but it’s all a dizzy memory; not because I have forgotten the details but because the details of what it was, how it happened, the outside and the inside, the thoughts, dreams and reality, all seemed to blend into one consciousness.

The night felt long and a never ending peace seemed to possess us. When dawn arrived, for the first time, I was dissappointed at the sun for having risen. The day break meant our long separation.

Sometime during that long night, I held your arm with both of mine wrapped around it. Head on your shoulder, I did not know how I let down my walls and let loose my inhibitions so easily around you. In murmurs and silence, even in my sleep, I seemed to be talking to you throughout the night. I was wrapped in several jackets, yet the only warmth seemed to be of your body against mine and your hands shrouding mine.

As we sat on the bench overlooking the lights beyond the river, that never seem to be lost from my sight, and the darkness of the grounds around us, there was a glowing radiance surrounding, an aura as I had never known. I had never known what it is to like someone, to love, to be absorbed in them as a whole, but in those moments it all felt naturally coming to me.

I dream of us sitting on that bench again, another long night but arrival of the morning cannot and does not separate us. Somewhere in the middle of the long night, when track of time has been lost, I tell you about the boy who tried to touch me. And I tell you about the time when your absence made me feel unreasonably angry and vulnerable. I tell you about the time when the soft music made me wish you were there, holding me lovingly by my waist, unlike that boy that time. I tell you about how I was aware how unreasonable I was being then, but that didn’t help, at all. I tell you about the time when my oldest bestfriend came to meet me, and of all the people, you were who I wished to introduce her to and tell her about. In my head, I say all of these things to you, while we sit at the bench. I see a faint shape of a smile and I sense you blushing deep. You seem to hold me closer, lock me tighter around yourself, and you whisper that I am the most precious thing in your life, that you’d never want to let go of me. A calming peace seemed to have taken over me.

Now I understand what you meant. What you meant when you said it’s important for people to confess their love, there’s no hope in waiting and yearning when you could happily have all that you ever wanted.

Bonus:

Has anyone told you you sleep like a baby? Curled up and asked if you could hold my hand in yours, that’s how you went to sleep. I couldn’t get more used to it; never have I seen anything or met anyone as adorable as you.

#sr #shizuokaa #hypergraphia #confessions #true story #writers #writers on tumblr #love #short story #short love story #you #love confession #i love you #ich liebe dich #je'taime #bits goa #night #last night #separation #ldr #relationships #writings on love #writing blog #bench #couple #lights #river #spilled ink #tumblr #original

[hypergraphic-confessions]

Every part of me betrayed me when it came to you, how the butterflies did flutter…

I’ll let this be an incomplete story, just like you let ours be

#story #our story #change #what happened to you #what happened to us #betrayal #love #mistrust #misunderstandings #skinny love #flutter #incomplete #butterflies #confessions #hypergraphia #sr #and now you're gone

[hypergraphic-confessions]

Equals

Unfortunately, under the moon and the stars, We’re all the same. You, with guns in your hand and prayers on your tongue, To the Almighty: Pleading Allah, praising Him You, who calls upon the death of the innocent, And I, with spilled ink and seized lips, With mouths open aghast, From watching the young die at your feet, Begging for mercy, begging for life. Under the moon and the stars, We’re all the same. You, with your pretty eyes and perfect hair With prodigious marvels to your name, I, just another being, We may be different but all the same, Seeking peace and satisfaction, while setting individual goals Hitherto paving our ways; Under the moon and the stars, We’re all the same. We’re all looked upon with the same Eye. We’re all heading to oblivion.

#sr #words #spilled ink #terrorism #guns #praises #Allah #relevant #average #being average #oblivion #under the moon and the stars #almighty #same #one and the same #equals #equality #human

[hypergraphic-confessions]

#skinny love #shizuokaa #shy #love #bon iver

[hypergraphic-confessions]

A poem begins with a lump in the throat.

Robert Frost

#Robert Frost #robert frost quotes #quotes #qotd #poem #poem begins #writings #hypergraphia #feelings #emotions #ineffable

[hypergraphic-confessions]

How many things would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

Now go, do.

#Robert Frost #qotd #quotes #robert frost quotes #if you knew you could not fail #just do it

[hypergraphic-confessions]

Sweet as honey, 

the memories of those good feelings, 

These tears are acid on my skin,

As laughters turn to pain. 

Always believed in myself, 

In my strength and sensibility, 

Yet, 

something inside of me hurts. 

There’s a void there

Where a heart was,

Memories of bitter feelings

I’ve forgotton their origin

Forgotten in entirety

All I remember now are

All the goodbyes I said time and again

Yet,

I never truly let go

#let go #sr #writing #writers on tumblr #moving on #memories #memories bring back #goodbyes #void #heart #love #bitter #good #feelings #laughter #pain #hurting #caring #sweet memories #bitter memories

[hypergraphic-confessions]

Dedicated to my lovely roomie

Already had a sister when I was in my mother’s womb, who, when she came to drop me off at Goa, left me in the good hands of another. My roommate and I, joined a completely alien world of college together, and somehow hit it off without even trying. There’s much that’s perfect in this imperfect globule of dust and water, and she aligns into my life as exactly that. We complement each other. I wouldn’t know how to expand myself to half the population in the college which is Marathi, but for her. I’m not an introvert, but I am reserved. In order for me to be able to be sincere to people, I open up to only a few. Then there’s her, one among the sweetest and more genuine and caring of our species, who helps me be a nicer version of myself to others. Things aren’t all rosy, we’re opposites too. You see, it rains cats and dogs in Goa, and while I adore those pretty creations of God, she’s scared of ‘em both. (doesn’t even let me let Seven in the room *sighs* ) At night, when I’m off to bed without brushing my teeth, she’s the elder sister in charge, telling me to get off my lazy ass and make it to the basin. But then I also see this lil girl, running out of the room screaming but it’s no harlem shake.. and somehow the very girl who woke up the entire house in the dead of the night on seeing cockroaches, becomes the tough girl battling spiders under her desk for her (here, I am the tough girl, tough girl is me). My own mother would disown me due to my 5 o'clock alarms that woke me up only to get back to another sleep, yet she tolerates them. And me. You get the idea; we get by alright. Or better than alright. Ily SJ!

#sr #hypergraphia #confessions #roommate #allegory #roomies #college #college life #sorority #bestfriends #girlfriend #sj

[hypergraphic-confessions]

I am lost, as if at sea, but it’s not despair. Losing my direction, not because I do not see the light from the lighthouse, but because I cannot choose my destination anymore. And I’m scared, to take haven at that harbor that treats me well, saves my life, gives respect and loves me so. I am scared because I do not know how long I will want to stay, if I will hurt the memories of the ones who will choose to remember me there. If I stop, will I make room for a home at the shore, or will I miss wandering at the sea some more. Losing my direction because I do not know where to go. I see the light, but I do not always wish to follow. Some nights, I just wish to lay in the darkness and observe the stars from the middle of the sea. There’s peace at the shore, but it’s even more peaceful here. If I know myself, I’ll wreak havoc to my home. There’s no scope for that at the sea, when I’m by myself. But when I cry, my tears add to the depth of the sea where I am afloat, and they distance me further from any sources of life. That scares me too. I do not want to be alone, I want to be with you, I want to come back home. But I’m lighting flares, I do not know if we’ll catch fire, if I’ll burn it all down someday

#lost #unfound #sr #hypergraphia #writing #personal #love #trust #confusion #confused #writers on tumblr #sea #fire #losing direction #losing sight #stars #home #lighthouse #destiny #lighting flares