i-li

[i-li]

the urge to come back to tumblr bc of hsr (making new blogs is addicting in itself too)

[i-li]

The Needle in the Haystack

I'm not much of a writer, you know that. Not much of a daughter, sister, friend or lover either. I much prefer letters over short stories or poems, but this time even the letter proves to be problematic. It seems as though some unknown force wanted to torment me by letting my English professor talk about love in literature and stylistic devices at basically the same time.

I could probably compare you to a mighty animal, you were truly a beatiful beast on the court. Sam had the habit of likening you to a rose, but that was probably just his awful flirting and didn't reflect your personality at all. I never knew enough about flowers to correct him. For Jo you were like a star. A giant, flaming rock that's simply too bright to get close to it. I guess I agree with her in some ways, but she never knew you the way I did.

For me? For me you were the needle in the haystack.

The sky was clear and beautiful when we met. All of your favorite colors were in bloom; purple, orange, yellow. It had been a very long time since I felt like this, without worry or pressure. The grass was bright green and the sun shone bright overhead. The air was so clean that you could almost taste it.

The volleyball club was like a second home to me and your presence at that year's assembly threatened that home. You walked with such confidence and gusto, taking long strides towards my spot at the top of the team. With your head held high, you waved out to me, well, us, the smile on your face reaching from ear to ear.

You were the needle in the haystack. At first indistinguishable, but when I finally found you, I knew that if I ever lost you, my life would become pointless. I was like a child, enjoying playing in said haystack and suddenly feeling something sharp prick the skin of my palm. My eyes got teary and the sight of the few blood droplets made my lip quiver. I wanted to play with the needle badly though, my muscles tensed in excitement.

Of course, I was right. You were great at volleyball. Almost as good as me. When I saw you screw up that pass, I couldn't help but smile. The mean comment came out of my mouth against my will, but the other players were used to it. I expected a grimace on your face at most, so when suddenly your face was inches away from mine I almost backed away. I kept pretending to listen to your nagging with a smirk on my face. In reality I was tuning the negative remarks out, something I was adept at since I was about ten. I waved you off before you finished speaking, not sure if I was disappointed or excited because you stood up to me.

I wasn't entirely certain of anything anymore.

I looked down on you now, standing on the other side of the net. Your gaze never wavered and you remained standing there with pride until the whistle blew, signaling the end of practice. I made eye contact for just a moment more, letting the warm feeling in my chest sink in.

Your presence in my life made me feel anxious anywhere I went. It might not sound like a good thing, but no one ever doubted me before. There was no one I wanted to impress with my personality and not my float serve. When everyone else left, we stayed together on the bleachers, talking and laughing and catching up. You sat next to me, smiling at me with a sparkle in your eye. A giggle escaped from my lips and before I could stop myself, I found myself leaning into you. We would never be friends, you knew that and I did too.

Before Jo's party, after your parents dropped you off at our friend's house and your mom pulled her car out of the driveway, you leaned back against the window. You turned towards me, looking at me. You stared in a way that for some reason always felt mocking, even if you were smiling gently at the same time, waiting for me to say something. For a moment, I thought about what it would have been like to kiss you. Would it have hurt? Or would it have felt like heaven?

Then, before I really could come to a conclusion about it, your fingers touched mine. They were soft and smooth and so gentle as they ran across my knuckles, moving to rest on top of them. My heart skipped a beat and I watched how your eyes darted up to look at mine. They were full of an emotion that only I would dare to recognize: curiosity, intrigue, maybe... fear.

And that's when it happened. That moment when I realized that you liked me too. More than a friend. It built up my ego enough to be destructive to our relationship.

We locked eyes, staring deep into each others' souls. My heart began to pound loudly in my ears as you inched closer and closer towards me. At some point you leaned over and placed your forehead against mine, closing your eyes and breathing deeply while still holding my hands.

Though my eyes slipped closed as well, I could feel clearly your lips getting closer to mine. You pressed your lips firmly onto mine, pulling me as close to you as humanly possible.

I still don't know if you heard me when I said that we would regret this. I suppose it wasn't for me to worry about, seeing as I could never actually regret our tender moments. You would be the one who would hate herself for warming up to someone like me. All I would regret were my outbursts (that I still prefer to call my 'worse moments') which caused the back of your hand to land on my cheek and leave a stinging sensation there or the bruising around your wrists. You didn't deserve any of those things, but it seemed easier that way.

Each time you came back to me, saying the same exact thing. That I was worth all of the hurt and that it wasn't ever my fault, I was just a troubled teen. If nothing else, my kisses could make all of our less happy moments worth it in a second.

When we finally broke apart you smiled, giving my hands a light squeeze before letting go and greeting the people at the door. I couldn't bring myself to move, to speak. I could barely breathe, let alone get up and walk to the door. Your words faded to white noise as I looked at the ceiling and gulped down the lump that seemed to form in my throat.

"You had no right to do that," you exclaimed once, "You don't get to be jealous when you treat me like shit whenever we're in public!"

I froze. My cheeks burned and my heart beat faster. I know you saw me as your friend and I couldn't really argue with that — you were even more than that for me. No matter how bad I wanted to tell you that, my body didn't let me.

"Oh, yeah? As if you didn't make such a show out of yourself purely for me to be jealous!"

At that you pouted. My heart pounded against my chest as you walked up to me to push me back against the counter.

"I didn't, actually. I never 'make a show out of myself', but I should've expected that's the way you see it. I should've known you're embarrassed of me."

"You really should've! I told you this was how this was gonna go. You know me!"

"I really don't! I really don't. We never talk, we're just sitting there quietly or making out. Is this what a relationship looks like to you?"

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, darling," I muttered quietly, knowing that I should've apologised sooner, but was too shy to. I looked around to see if anyone else witnessed our conversation before grabbing your hands gently and pulling you into my chest.

"This is what I'm talking about, asshole! Did you really need to make sure no one was watching before touching me?"

You struggled in my grip weakly, "I'm sorry, darling."

I'm sure you still vividly remember that day. You were the first one to notice I was in a nasty mood. You decided it would be best not to provoke me. I couldn't bear to disappoint you then. Not when you were willing to give your time to me, especially when I had such horrible episodes and the only people who bothered to stick by my side were you and my father. I didn't know it then, but I was going to get proof of that soon.

That evening, as we celebrated with the volleyball team, I tried my hardest not to make eye contact with you. You noticed immediately, but chose not to mention it. As I blew up over dinner, you just watched. I began telling each and every one of our friends how much and why I hated them and the sheepish smile still hadn't disappeared from your face.

As our teammates filtered out of the flat, you stated — it was your home after all. You watched me shove my face into my sweaty hands and exhale shakily. I didn't see you get up, but I soon felt you rubbing circles in a soothing motion into my back.

"It wasn't your fault. I know you've been stressed lately," you mused, "They should've known that's the way you are."

You were the needle in the haystack, but I was a flame.

The hay had turned into ashes and the flame had died down. There you were, laying warm and naked but whole, on the ground, with me.

God, I think I'm going to have to rewrite my essay. Professor Glick would probably say this one was neither about love nor stylistic devices. She'd be right about the latter part.

[i-li]

HARLEY QUINN in THE SUICIDE SQUAD (2021) TRAILER

[i-li]

pt i

☆…playing genshin impact with ;

AMBER

- never builds characters

- only uses bow users

- incredible aim

- likes getting obscure achievements

- gets distracted. all. the. time.

( “ugh. this stupid lawachurl won’t die, can you–amber? amber! wait, i–!”

“–ooh, look! electro crystals!” )

Czytaj dalej

[i-li]

! vi and caitlyn matching icons

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#arcane vi #arcane caitlyn #caitvi #matching icons #arcane layouts #viktor #jayce #caitlyn x vi #vi & caitlyn #li's edits

[i-li]

like or reblog if you save.

Qing11502143.

[i-li]

when their s/o's hands are cold

separately beidou x gn!reader, childe x gn!reader, diluc x gn!reader, kazuha x gn!reader, yoimiya x gn!reader

word count: 0.6k, about 120 for each character

genre: headcanons, fluff

warnings: none :p

notes: i think you can see there who my two fav characters are ehe! and also my adhd yoimiya hc jumped out a bit

beidou

beidou rarely lets you get cold, she's one of those people who just hold and massage their s/o's hands all the time – she could be preoccupied with something important but the second you're anywhere close she's gently grabbing your hand and starting to rub circles into it

when your hands do get cold and she notices you trying to warm them up by rubbing them together she will just grab them and put them in her pockets

she will send a charming smile your way and say something disgustingly romantic and sweet like "you won't ever get cold around me again"

and she probably won't let you, she'll keep an eye on you and your hands, always keep you safe and warm

childe

annoying each other is normal for you and childe so when you feel how cold your hands are you immediately know how to use this to your advantage

childe always likes to remind you that he's always prepared and you make sure to point out how easily you sneaked up on him

you lift up his shirt and put your palms on his waist

and when he yelps you can't help but laugh

he turns around and looks at you with a murderous gleam in his eye but you know… jokingly murderous?

"just warming my hands up," you say

he just raises an eyebrow and proceeds to threaten to do the same thing to you when he's the one with freezing cold hands

diluc

when you're cold in general he'd be the type to lend you clothing so when you're trying to warm your hands up he'll give you his gloves to put on

and i just know he has really large hands so yours are drowning in them

diluc also obviously runs hot so expect the gloves to feel really warm inside

to be honest he'd just buy you a pair or two later so you can just make sure your hands don't get cold completely on your own

but! if either of you don't have any gloves on you he will hold them really close to his chest and when i say his chest also radiates such warmth i mean it

he might hide your palms in his shirt or coat too!

kazuha

when kazuha grabs your hand and feels how cold it is he immediately gets concerned

after you explain that there's nothing to worry about and you're not sick, simply cold, he relaxes

he then takes both your hands up to his face and starts blowing on them

if he notices your slightly questioning look, he doesn't comment on it

your palms to feel better after a moment though and you're not surprised he knew how exactly to warm them up

he doesn't immediately let go, he just starts pressing light but also warm kisses to your palms and knuckles

yoimiya

"hm? your hands are cold? oh, you can sit on them like that, look!"

with both of you with your hands under your thighs you look at each other a bit awkwardly which yoimiya seems to notice

she takes her hands out from underneath her legs and rests them in her lap," or do you maybe just want to hold hands?"

the moment you nod and stretch out your arms in front of you she smiles brightly

she takes your hands in hers somewhat abruptly and squeezes them. when she stops doing that she resorts to moving your hands around, swinging or bringing them to and away from her chest

she explains that to warm up you gotta move and well, she isn't wrong!

[i-li]

baal x gn!reader, minor platonic kazuha x gn!reader

word count: 1.2k

genre: angst, except i’m a bad writer so it’s not that sad

warnings: side-character death

summary: “what is wrong with you? i gave you everything. everything! i gave you everything and this is how you treat me?”

notes: my first work ehe, chances are it’s also gonna be the last. tell me what you think bc my writing has always been just for me to read. oh and also i kept spelling baal as ball and i think that’s funny

the time is now, you thought. the resistance was stronger, more determined than ever and you knew you wouldn’t able to wait any longer. it has already been decades. centuries? maybe, definitely not millenia though – you’re pretty sure that would be enough to forget, to rid yourself of the rage and the disappointment. probably. another thing was you weren’t even sure you or baal had lived for as long as millenia, you would’ve been less naive, she’d probably be different as well.

a gust of cool air hit your left cheek and then it was raining like there’s no tomorrow again. the weather was never pleasant but you felt like it has gotten worse every day since then. since you and raiden shogun.

Czytaj dalej

[i-li]

! kaedehara kazuha layouts

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#genshin impact layouts #kazuha icons #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha headers #red moodboard #li's edits

[i-li]

! kamisato siblings icons

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#kamisato ayaka #kamisato ayato #ayato icons #ayaka icons #genshin impact ayaka #genshin impact ayato #blue moodboard #li's edits

[i-li]

omg i’m so sorry i forgot i send two ask’s o<-< Anyways i’m glad to hear ur doing fine !!! i’m also doing pretty good, spent 200€ on albedo, it was the best decision i ever man’s in my life 🫂. anyways i’m glad you’re back!

- pierogi anon

i spent so much money on kokomi and then got mona bUT i'm so happyfor you! me being back really backfired vut yeah, hope you're not tired of me disappearing constantly. i'm pretty good and i've been getting back into editing (mostly covers on wattpad💀) so i might just try being actually active on here. how're you?

#li's got mail #sender: pierogi anon

[i-li]

pretyy theme

<33

#li's got mail

[i-li]

hello!i love your wallpapers sm <3 and I wanted to ask, if it's not too much of a problem, what software or app you use to do them- take you sm for your time!have a nice day!

usually just picsart to make the collages and polarr for filters!

#li's got mail

[i-li]

hi :) kinda back? we'll see

#li rambles

[i-li]

𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝟏𝟎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐒 ! (ˊ ᵕ ˋก )

genshin impact | let’s fly away—ruelle | raiden, albedo, venti

slight flash ⚠️

holy cats—i can’t believe i already hit 10k and i couldn’t have done it without all of you!! thank you so much <33 i am at a loss for words and i also want to apologize for such a late milestone post. it’s been about a month since i hit it, but things were just hectic heehoo. i was trying to come up with a good song for this next amv and i LOVE this song, it turned out so well!

i made this as a thank you to every one of my followers and friends/mutuals. i hope you enjoy the video! to celebrate my inbox is open for requests or for talking! <3 i will also be holding a special christmas / new year event as celebration too so stay tuned for that!

love, kou.

𝐓 𝐀 𝐆 𝐒.

@kaizokuluv @sunvt @ostruich @oikadiors @noirkkat @bluexiao @reddriot @flow-of-the-rukh @yandere-romanticaa @luventi @kr3idz @michaki @genshinarchives @genshinology @scaramew @almond-adeptus @ohmykazuha @i-li @childeapologist @simplyxsinned @cxlrose @hushyouu @k-kazvha @hqrbinger @magicamcheck @takumipineapplexd @xuanhuas @gorovs @taishaa @lordrexlapis @saznu @favoniuscodex

i love all of you gremlins <3

[i-li]

! arataki itto icons

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#li's edits #arataki itto #arataki icons #itto icons #arataki itto icons #genshin impact icons #genshin icons

[i-li]

LI HOW ARE YOU I HAVNT SEEN U IN A WHILE, i hope you’re okay <3 please remember to drink and eat something:^

-pierogi anon

I'M QUITE ALRIGHT but you know that already from me replying to the prev ask haha

you take care as well bby

#li's got mail #sender: pierogi anon