iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

Look

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

feeling a deep sense of kinship with danny here

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

I don't play gacha games, but I'm in online spaces which are adjacent to gacha fandoms, so every so often I'll pop open my notifications and see a thread where the comments are like "ooh, step on me, daddy", and the post to which those comments pertain is a drawing of a waifish anime boy being manhandled by a second waifish anime boy.

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

please don't scry on me right now im jerking off

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

Chris Marker, Letter from Siberia, 1957

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.

I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

well maybe you should figure that out before reposting someone elses artwork

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

What do you mean, how were american academics so similar?

every single biography of a midcentury academic is like this:

John Armstrong, 1920-2004. Born to a clerk and a seamstress/half-literate immigrants who instilled the values of hard work. Interrupted his studies at [public university] to enlist in the war, where he witnessed indescribable atrocities/worked with the OSS/guarded German officers after their surrender. After the war, he finished his studies at Harvard/Columbia/[prestigious university] on the G.I. bill, completing a PhD in three years. He got his position at the University of Nebraska/Sensodyne College of Liberal Arts after walking into the department with a recommendation letter written by [leading academic at the time] which said, "John Armstrong is the kind of smart young fellow you would do well to hire" in its entirety. He wrote The Art of Governance, a landmark monograph that has remained influential since its publication in 1965, and nothing else. [bonus points: hounded by the HUAC in the 1950s for not being braindead OR advised a President to nuke Vietnam.]

and it's not uncommon to have:

Jane Armstrong, 1930-2011. Interrupted her studies to marry John Armstrong. Typed up, edited, and suggested revisions for all his notes and manuscripts. Completed her education while working as a secretary at the University of Nebraska/Sensodyne College of Liberal Arts and raising their children, after which she was quickly hired as a full professor. Wrote Governance: A Fool's Game, a landmark monograph that has remained influential since its publication in 1967, and also 20 other papers.

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

BURNT my FUCKING POPCORN JOY is a SHAM

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

Walter White would never pay for Jesse’s top surgery but he would call him a week into recovery and ask for help lifting a 100-pound sack of something highly illegal

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

[iamnotcrying-iamallergictolife]

within fifteen minutes i have found two different grown adult men who have dating app profiles that say their worst fear is:

werewolves.

one was funny. two is like... hang on, do we actually have a werewolf problem in this town?