iamthenightcolormeblack

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

as much as it's fun to joke about not wanting new people to join tumblr from twitter after everyone else thought this site was dead or too cringe to make an account on for years, if you're actually an asshole to people who are just trying to use social media to have fun and/or share their content like the rest of us and are adapting to a new platform they're not familiar with then i don't want anything to do with you personally, because it's obvious you're just using this situation as an excuse to be mean spirited dickhead and i don't tolerate that kind of behavior

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

History wants so badly for Cleopatra to be beautiful. Like they can’t conceive of Rome being intimidated by anything less

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

So I finally watched Netflix’s Persuasion and yes, I pretty much hated it, but not for the reason you’d expect. My Austen-loving friend and I set aside a whole night for this. We watched three films as follows:

Appetizer: Persuasion (2007) with Sally Hawkins and Rupert Penry-Jones

Main course: Persuasion (2022) on Netflix with Dakota Johnson and Cosmo Jarvis

Palate cleanser: Emma (2020) with Anya Taylor-Joy and Johnny Flynn

Watching things in this order really threw some things into relief. Now, obviously as an adaptation Persuasion 2022 is inaccurate in ways people have already explained. There are significant disparities between the film and the source text (Anne’s a wine lush now?). There are also egregious anachronisms in costuming, hair, and makeup (through pure oversight the side characters end up being the most historically accurate). But, that aside, in my writerly opinion this isn’t even a competent stand alone film. You know the whole rule of “show don’t tell”? This film is fundamentally incapable of following that rule. Everything its told – verbally, explicitly, almost condescendingly – to the audience.

Keep reading

#netflix persuasion #jane austen #persuasion #dakota johnson #we need to jail whoever wrote the script

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

must a villain be redeemed? isn't it enough that they're bitter, evil, and most importantly, hot?

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

rest in peace to the legend that is olivia newton-john.

#olivia newton john #rest in peace

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

Persuasion 2022 be like

#this was persuasion 2022 #wine deserves the best supporting actor nomination

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

it always weirds me out that there are people out there who havent seen all the lord of the rings movies. like are you okay??? do you want me to come watch them with you??? should i bring pizza and blankets to make a fort??? lets marathon them please

#such uncultured people #lord of the rings

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

A Crackhead Spills Wine On Jane Austen: Persuasion 2022 Extended Rant

I am SEETHING and FILLED WITH RAGE as I write this semi-analytical rant. It got so many things wrong and Jane Austen would definitely be rolling in her grave right now.

A note on the title: the director’s name is Carrie Cracknell, and she wanted to “modernize” Jane Austen and remove its “weeping, sickly women” while creating “something she could watch with her daughter.” Obviously she’s crazy. Austen never needed modernization and it’s been done so many times at this point. Stop trying to pretend to be original! Plus this movie promotes unhealthy alcohol habits! We don’t want our strong young girls and women to mope around in bed getting dangerously drunk with wine bottles!Thus I think the director’s real name is *drum roll… Carrie Crackhead!

Now I shall list the many sins of this stinking trash heap:

The dialogue has not only been modernized- it’s trying too hard to be funny and changes rather than reflects the original meaning of Austen’s dialogue. Also so many anachronisms like playlists (was that even a thing before music recording technology was invented), self-care, and 5 and 10 ratings of people.

Anne is now a snarky “girl boss” who hates everyone and talks to the camera when not chugging wine or crying in a bathtub. Also why did they have to stick with that terrible rom-com trope of a drunk, emotionally unstable single woman looking for love? That’s not very feminist to me. In the book Anne is outwardly reserved and acts that way in large part because her family ignores or belittles her. She quietly acquiesces to their demands and only slowly learns to speak for herself. Actual Anne is a wallflower who gradually becomes more beautiful as she takes charge of her own destiny by choosing not to be persuaded by others.

Anne lacks manners. Her first meeting with Wentworth in 8 years consists of her throwing a rock at a window to catch his attention and yelling at him. Afterwards she trips and spills gravy/red sauce on her head. All while she is babysitting a child. In the book Anne’s decision to take care of her injured nephew while his parents partied is selfless; here her selflessness is negated for cheap laughs. Nor do I understand why Anne chooses to mock Wentworth by donning a jam mustache and basket hat. She was crying over him earlier and his reappearance caused her pain. Another instance is at a dinner party when Anne drunkenly admits to Wentworth that Mr. Musgrove proposed to her first - so out of character and even a 21st century person wouldn’t do this. To further insult Austen and Anne Elliot, this Anne pees behind a tree while eavesdropping on Wentworth and Louisa.

Wentworth is a Bland Man (Saturday Night Live reference - a Bachelor dating show parody skit features a boring man whom the women are obsessively dating). In this movie he reminds me of a piece of cardboard. He has a rather monotone voice and says little.

A key moment in the book is when Wentworth removes a child who climbs onto an overwhelmed Anne’s back. In the book, Anne is left to care for the Musgrove children, as their parents are neglectful. Wentworth lifting the child off Anne’s back is significant as a sign that he still cares for her even after she broke his heart, and Anne loves him because he truly cares about her, in contrast to her family who takes her for granted and uses her as free labor. In the movie Wentworth removes the child from Anne’s back while Anne and the children are HAVING FUN playing a game. This undercuts the meaning of Wentworth’s gesture. Instead of an act of kindness, it becomes a hindrance to the fun and games Anne and the Musgrove children are playing. HOW DARE THEY take away this beautiful little moment from us.

Louisa and Anne are friends in this movie. This doesn’t make sense since Louisa in the book is rather naive, making Wentworth’s flirtation of her illogical and an insult to Anne. Also Louisa’s view of men as idiots is too anachronistic for the Regency setting of this movie. Anne also seems to be on friendly terms with the Musgroves, which does not make sense for book Anne. In contrast, Anne is actually lonely and has few friends, making her situation all the more tragic.

Anne is often alone with Wentworth unchaperoned. I don’t think this makes sense since Regency England definitely had very conservative social norms. Bridgerton may have been more historically accurate since it made clear that unmarried men and women being alone outside of socially approved situations would lead to damaged reputations. I thought I would never live to see the day that Bridgerton would be more historically accurate than a Jane Austen adaptation. Also Wentworth telling Anne early on that he wants her in his life removes a lot of the tension underlying their relationship.

There is a lack of chemistry between Wentworth and Anne. Sure they look pretty when they kiss on a grassy field but I want to see them interacting like best friends or be treated to some silent yearning where a glance conveys a thousand words. At the end of the day I can’t see this couple together. Mr. Elliot and Anne had more chemistry and more natural banter than Wentworth and Anne.

Telling us Anne’s character attributes instead of showing them in action. Wentworth tells Anne she’s good in an emergency but the situation that proves this (Anne calmly calling for a doctor after Louisa falls while Wentworth and the others freak out) is given very little screen time. The rule is SHOW NOT TELL.

The octopus dream. It doesn’t even pass as Austen and I don’t think Anne would dare or even bother to say something that stupid to entertain Lady Dalrymple. This makes more sense in a Beatles album: “I am the egg man, I am the egg man, I am the walrus, coo-coo-coo-coo-coo-choo.”

Anne has a conversation with Captain Benwick in which they discuss the importance of loyalty in a romantic relationship. Benwick reminds Anne that history books claim that women are inconstant in their affections, while Anne responds that the history books were written by men and that women are more loyal because they have little in their sheltered lives compared with men. This point about who writes about history is so MODERN AND AHEAD OF ITS TIME. Even today we are still struggling to come up with ways to effectively include marginalized perspectives into historical narratives. I saw the 1995 Persuasion adaptation before reading the book and watching this on screen blew me away and encouraged me to read the book so I’m so disappointed this isn’t in the film.

Anne’s friend Mrs. Smith is removed. Mrs. Smith is an impoverished widow left destitute by her husband and is key to Anne’s discovery of Mr. Elliot’s deception. Anne’s friendship with Mrs. Smith is a rebellion against her family’s obsession with social status and reflects her values in action.

Lady Russell is now a happy widow who likes traveling by herself. First Lady Russell is very proper, logical and considerate of what is best for Anne and her family; she is also one of Anne’s few friends. She isn’t “single and thriving.” Also travel in the early 19th century was cumbersome and women likely didn’t travel by themselves.

Anne running for a long time to catch up to Wentworth looks to me like an imitation of the 2007 BBC Persuasion’s “Bath Marathon.” Also that cheesy pop song (Quietly Yours by “Birdie?”) isn’t necessary. They’re happy. We get that already.

Historically inaccurate (and ugly) costumes and terrible hair.

Lastly, the only thing good about this dumpster fire of a film was the supporting cast (Henry Golding, Richard E. Grant, and Mia Mckenna-Bruce). They absolutely stole the screen when they were on and accurately portrayed their characters. I particularly like Henry Golding as Mr. Elliot because it nails the Austen trope of charming bad guy. However the costume designer shouldn’t have put him in black because it gives away his evilness far too soon (and lest i forget I don’t think he and Wentworth ever met while in Lyme, unlike what this film portrays).

Ultimately my mother and I (we watched this travesty together) wanted our 1 hour and 50 minutes back. But at least I gained plenty of material for this rant. I wish it was more well-written but why put in the effort for this crappy thing masquerading as art?

#persuasion netflix #netflix persuasion #dakota johnson #cosmo jarvis #henry golding #mia mckenna bruce #richard grant #carrie cracknell #Carrie Crackhead #I hate this movie so much #Jane Austen would be rolling in her grave #persuasion 2022 #fanning the flames #seek and destroy anyone who claims this trash is good #they ruined the story for cheap laughs and edgy pretensions #repeat after me: Carrie Crackhead needs to go to jail/read Jane Austen before making another Jane Austen adaptation #Carrie Crackhead and her accomplices need to be jailed

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

[Image ID: Ron Bass, the screenwriter from Netflix Persuasion, says he’s working on similar treatments for Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. Meme below shows Lizzie Bennet from 2005 P&P reacting with dread to the pitiful flower Mr. Collins is offering her. Mr. Collins is labeled Ron Bass, Lizzie is labeled Austen fandom, and the flower is labeled screenplays for P&P and S&S. /.End ID]

#jane austen #persuasion 2022 #ron bass #please god don’t let this happen

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

when the netflix adaptation trailer came out and the internet became the jane austen book club, and was in overwhelming agreement that it sucked, i picked up Persuasion, mostly to feel qualified to join in the discussion, and because i wanted to enjoy this book that had elicited so much deep love from the readers. and i get it. i understood it immediately. i was so protective of anne, so quickly, who is gracious and generous despite being actively mistreated at worse and neglected at best by those around her. and yet she isn't angry or bitter, but even more attractively so, she doesn't see herself as a victim either. she made a decision that she has come to regret but she doesn't hold anyone else accountable for it, even when she could and should (i would). there's not a single self-pitying bone in her body. she has a quiet strength of character, and is grounded. she's perceptive, introspective and so in touch with the truth of her feelings and the truth of her situation. She isn't delusional (like Mary) or has a chip on her shoulder (like Elizabeth). She is so compelling because of her rich interiority and I'm in awe of Jane Austen's craft. It's so easy to have a character like Anne come across as a martyr or a bore but Austen is so much in control of how and when and what the audience would be feeling for Anne. It's incredible.

#persuasion #jane austen #they did Anne dirty

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

Book Anne, the only responsible adult in the family: If we give up all these expenses and move to a smaller house, we can clear our debts quickly and respectably.

Netflix Anne:

#netflix persuasion #jane austen #what a waste of fine wine

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

Now that I’ve actually seen it, the thing that stuck out the most to me is that Anne was weirdly stripped of agency, despite all this talk of trying to make Anne into a ~nonconforming woman~ or ~giving her a voice~.

She doesn’t befriend Benwick purely out of kindness; Harville has to suggest it to her first. She doesn’t choose to watch Mary’s children; Mary basically forces her. She doesn’t choose to visit unfashionable Mrs Smith while her family visits the Dalrymples. No, instead there’s no Mrs Smith at all, and we just get a bizarre scene of her being awkward with the Dalrymples. She doesn’t choose to start conversation with Wentworth at the concert while her father and sister watch disapprovingly. Instead of that, she flees the concert to talk to Wentworth and we never find out what Sir Walter and Elizabeth think of Wentworth at all. And what weight can her choice have if we don’t know what she is risking?

Most unforgivably, she doesn’t get to be someone who takes responsibility for her own past choices. She doesn’t get to justify her choice to Wentworth. (“I must believe that I was right, much as I suffered from it”). Instead, all the blame is placed on Lady Russell, while Anne wallows in self pity.

#persuasion #persuasion 2022 #jane austen #another of a 1000+ reasons this movie is trash

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

i know everybody is talking about this already but i'm feeling a lot of rage right now towards screenwriters who think they're giving a personality to a female book character when they make her a Girlboss because they don't understand subtlety. they pick a female character that was written by a woman and they're like. we're going to make this character a feminist icon.

i fucking hate this performative feminism and this idea that hollywood has of feminism so much i fucking hate it aaaaaaaaaaaaaah i'm gonna die if this trend of girlbossifying characters doesn't end soon i swear i can't do this anymore

#persuasion 2022 #anne elliot #jane austen #respect all women not just the girlbosses

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

I swear every attempt at a period piece that tries to be ‘modern’ and ‘bold’ and ‘daring’ just end up doing the same thing as each other.

You know what would actually be daring and bold for a period movie would be to allow the characters clothing, behaviour and attitude to represent (or at least capture the spirit) of the time period they are in and trust the audience to still be able to relate and empathise with people from such a different world, who still go through such innately human experiences. 

#jane austen #persuasion 2022 #I’m so angry i just can’t come up with any more creative hashtags to express the extent of my anger

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

i just have to laugh

#persuasion #persuasion 2022 #jane austen #Jane Austen would be rolling in her grave right now

[iamthenightcolormeblack]

ok no I'm still annoyed about what they've done to anne elliot. why must every heroine be beautiful, smart, confident, witty, flirtatious, funny, independent, firm-minded etc.?

what about shy women? humble women? lonely women? women who are just sad and a little bit pathetic? not firm enough to speak their mind? not strong enough to know their mind? who are riddled with anxiety and embarrassment? who have genuine faults and mistakes they regret but are too mortified to acknowledge? who know they are being taken advantage of but who keep sacrificing their own happiness to maintain the peace and reputation of their family? who are smart in their own way and happy with that even if it doesn't amount to anything that can be paraded around as a talent? do they not deserve to have their stories told?

I've had enough of snark!!!!! enough of smugness!!!! i wanna see a heroine who is so miserable and lonely and who feels everything so deeply and who yearns so bloody hard for years that she collapses when he finally gives her that letter!!! i want pathetic pining!! i want miserable social interactions!!! i want stolen glances and subtle questions and agonising despair until a confession so cathartic that i faint with her!!!! i want to feel something real!!!!!!!!! god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#jane austen #persuasion netflix #persuasion 2022 #let women be women #whether you are outgoing and snarky or lonely and introverted you still deserve dignity and respect