iamtheprotagoneil

[iamtheprotagoneil]

yikes so I've come to the realization that i accidentally reblogged some stuff from my main to this blog because tumblr changed the default reblog blog on me without me knowing so... rip. anyways now that I'm here, just wanna tell you guys (if anyone is reading this 😅) that i miss y'all and i think about coming back all the times. it's just hard for me because my brain has moved on from tenet and refused to come back. so, yeah... just wanna let you guys know, if anyone is wondering still (nearly two years later 🙈). I'll keep this blog up as an archive for all my contribution to the fandom, if anyone still wanna come back and read them.

have a good one, y'all ❤️

#I'm sorry for all of y'all's unanswered asks. i had hoped to answer them all when i found the mental capacity but that time never came #still i want you to know that i think of y'all often #i keep wishing of the day i finish all my old protagoneil wips and make a sudden come back #they haunt me everyday when i open up my wip folder #but enough of that sad stuff. if you wanna keep in contact (two years later rip) you can ask for my main #it's pretty cringe and meme-y over there though so keep that in mind #anyways have a good one gang; stay safe out there! #aris out

[iamtheprotagoneil]

I made a bunch of Tenet playlists, give them a listen?

Backwards Boyfriends//Protagoneil - Open Collab playlist David//Protagonist Neil Wheelives Tenet Agents

#playlist #music #this looks amazing isabel! #i'll take a listen as soon as i can! #protagoneil #wheelives

[iamtheprotagoneil]

SEVEN STEPS TO FALLING IN LOVE // l.s.

step 1. you don’t quite remember how it feels to feel but theres an echo in your chest that you think might be curiosity. or maybe its just heartburn.

step 2. theres something different about the way that he moves, like the earth is a chessboard and every step is a potential loss, another way to be taken from the game.

step 3. you promise protection because it is all you can offer. what else could he want? your fingers were only made to hurt and tear and bruise. you hold violence the same way others hold hands.

step 4. the first time you see him without medication twisting your brain you think ‘this could be a problem.’ you try to ignore that it already is, that is has been for a while now.

step 5. he vanishes into the night and with him he takes your ability to breathe, leaving a gap in the universe, a vacuum sucking the air from your lungs and for the first time in forever you feel fear.

step 6. every bruise on his body is another reason to walk away but you passed the point where you could leave long ago. now your hands try to learn how to hold and to stroke, how to soothe burns and bruises. They re-learn how to be hands instead of just another weapon to wield against life.

step 7. you told yourself that love was a lie because there was no other way to survive your demons. you put everything you had left behind a door made of sulphur and steel, but this boy, who saw more than the monster they created, who would fight the sun if you’d let him, opened your heart by knocking instead of forcing the lock.

(and so you gave him a key)

#this poem popped up on my dash again and i'm- #i feel absolutely FERAL right now you don't even know #😭😭😭 #it's like- #step 1 = the protagonist at the start of the movie; caring about absolutely nothing else but the mission and then he met neil #step 2 = the protagonist's perception of neil; of the way neil would sometimes act around him; the calculated words; the pauses; the looks #it was so strange but the protagonist didn't have enough information then to decipher it all #step 3 = that conversation in the hotel after freeport; because it really was all the protagonist could offer then - protection #and neil just gladly accepted it; putting his life in the protagonist's hand like he's done so many time before #(not that this protagonist would know) #step 4 = the protagonist after learning about neil's invovlement with this mission - how much more he's known about it #it's the protagonist looking for neil at the camp and not finding him anywhere #it's the disappointment in the protagonist's chest when he thought he wouldn't get to say goodbye #step 5... y'all know what it is already 😭😭😭 #step 6 = the guilt within the protagonist whenever present!neil would come back from a mission with injuries scattering on his body #the turmoil that threatened to eat the protagonist alive until he finally learned to live with it; to allow neil in #to be there for him rather than keeping him at arms length for 'neil's sake' #which allows us to arrive at step 7 #because neil would be so relentless with his effort to make the boss like him #relentless sure but never forceful #and really to the protagonist; it was a losing battle right from the start anyway #protagoneil #tenet #quotes #reblogs #*my ramblings

[iamtheprotagoneil]

What should one do when they miss a friend

My first instinct is always to turn to literature. Here are some quotations from writers missing their friends...

“I thought of you, suddenly, I had words that I wished to speak to you across the void.”  

Anne Sexton, from ‘A Self-Portrait in Letters’: W. D. Snodgrass, 27th June 1960 

“I know I’ll always think of you [with] something like hurt and nostalgia […]”

Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath: Volume I: 1940-1956; letter to Ann Davidow-Goodman, dated 15th-16th March 1951

“I miss you. You continue to make a difference.”

Susan Sontag, Where the Stress Falls; from ‘Letter to Borges’

“I have thought of you so frequently […] that I imagine, I guess, that by some mystical intuition you may well be aware of this.”

Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath Volume II: 1956–1963; from a letter to Dorothea Krook, 25th September 1958

“I’m afraid I miss you terribly. I try not to be Miss Nostalgia all the time, but I am.”

Janet Frame, from ‘Jay to Bee: Janet Frame’s Letters to William Theophilus Brown 

“— my soul sends your soul a pinch…”

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters; to W. D. Snodgrass, 9th June 1959

“Every so often I have a vague acute feeling of missing something or someone, and it’s you.”

Robert Lowell, from a letter to Elizabeth Bishop

“and the aura of you remains, remains, remains…”

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters; to W. D. Snodgrass, 11th January 1959

“drop me a line, I miss your handwriting.”

Marina Tsvetaeva, written for Rainer Maria Rilke after his death.

#protagoneil #tenet #neil missing the protagonist while inverting for the sator mission #VS #the protagonist missing neil while looking for him post-canon #or even more tragic: #neil missing HIS protagonist while being with present!protagonist #VS. #the protagonist missing movie!neil while being with present!neil in the future #or something a bit softer #just them missing each other while one of them is out doing missions #man these quotes just have me FUCKED UP #quotes #reblogs

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#no im not crying i just got some sand in my eyes #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#mermaid neil still fucks me up to this day man #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#ahhhhh the way they have their hands in the other's pockets #that's so sweet dude #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#brooooooooo this is so soft ahhhhh #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

✨Happy New Year 2021✨

#protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #happy new year guys!

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#this is so soft #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#highschool/college au #just a thought hah #fanart #protagoneil #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

the antagonist

#cool cool cool #the protagonist #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#this is ultra cute okay #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

tenet agents + codenames

bonus:

#tenet #incorrect quotes #the protagonist #neil #ives #wheeler #kat #mahir #johnny #incorrect tenet quotes #okay so i had to revived johnny for this meme #which lmao idk if he's actually named johnny #for some reasons i kept refering to him as johnny when i was making this #but when i looked it up; he's credited as 'swat/target' #so like.... thats the mandela effect for y'all #i would try to fix it but literally no one else fit that codename #so this is what y'all get #and idc anyways bc it made me laugh so hard when i came up with it ;sldfk;sdlkf;lk #also ives was supposed to be eagle two but the protagonives shipper in my took over and then you got this lmao #@kristalliankka yes i literally came back in just to make memes and shitpost sdlkfjsdlfkj #idk more rambling posts will come out later hopefully hah #*my edits #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

doodles

#protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

#neil #fanart #reblogs #neil smoking is something i've been thinking about for a while now #i want....to write...a fic...... #queue

[iamtheprotagoneil]

protagoneil + incorrect quotes (2)

#protagoneil #tenet #incorrect quotes #incorrect tenet quotes #this is so dumb lmao #another version is the protagonist saying f-ck you #and ives standing besides them with his unimpressed expression saying 'wish you two would' #😆😆😆 #click source link for insp #its where i got the idea from #*my edits