idontknow-whattocallthisblog

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I've been on Tumblr for close to 5 years, and i still dont know how to send in asks, and I refuse to learn.

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I feel like the Jurassic park movies would have been 100x funnier if everything they thought they knew about dinosaurs was completely wrong.

'she can't see us if we don't move' proceeds to get eaten.

'Raptors are extremely intelligent and leathel hunters' cut away to a raptor doing something ridiculously.

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Dad: my knee has been hurting like crazy

Me; it must KNEEd attention.

Dad: yes. Are you willing to provide me with said attention?

Me: no. Suffer.

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Me: I'm home alone! I can do whatever I want! It's been months since this has happen! Imma do all the things I haven't been able to do.

Me: gets up, makes hot chocolate, returns to bedroom, proceeds to draw in the dark for hours.

Me:*sipping hot chocolate* aahhhhhhh...... Freedom.

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Me: I like my new teacher!

Teacher:*wears socks w/Sandles*

Me: nevermind she is the worst

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What humans are all supposed to have super high 'above average' IQs and the only reason we don't is cause are brains have just gradually inherited all our ancestors flaws/idiosyncrasies like a weird genetic deseaise so each generation has gradually become stupider and the people with high IQs now we're just lucky enough to have been born with less inherited stupidity

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"why did you become a teacher' they'll ask me, expecting something about living kids and knowledge.

"I wanted to mentally scar them. Say, have ever told you about dihydrogen monoxide?" I reply, an evil grin forming on my face.

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Me:* perfectly encorperates meme into conversation, doing the voice and everything*

Me;*is disappointed because conversation is with my dad and he doesn't get the reference*

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The next semester starts tomorrow, along with sleep depervation and torcher. I probably need more alarms, we'll see tomorrow.

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Dad: everything you own is black. I'm going to start adding bleach into your laundry so eventually it turns white. You can grow up and wear some color.

Me:..... Funny I thought you feared death.

Dad:what?

Me: I said white isn't a color.

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Greek "mythology" has been greatly misinterpreted. It is not a religion. It's a elaborate dnd game were two of the most powerful characters, Zeus and posidion, are horny, feral, bastard bards that were let off thier leashes by a DM who could not control them.

The third "brother", hades, was some sort of dark paladin necromancer hybrid that is trying desperately to cut association with his feral counterparts.

No, I will not be taking criticism.

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"when life gives you lemons make lemonade"

No.

Screw that.

Assert your dominance over life.

Eat the lemon.

You give me lemons? Well guess what? I fricken like lemons!

Nom nom b*TCH, these are MY lemons.

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Me:.* Is sound asleep*

Cat: *decides it the perfect time to jump from my bedside table to my dresser*

Cat:*fails to realize that thier is no room to land on dresser until it's to late*

Cat: *knocks everything off nightstand and dresser*

Me:* is startled awake and almost falls off bed.*

Cat: ....new.

Me: you little bastard you're lucky you're cute

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Friend 1: showing off her new pastel pink stuff.

Friend 2: so cute!! I'm looking into getting a pink toaster.

Me:* facepalms* ya that sounds bout right.

Friend 1: when we move in together its gonna be pastel heaven

Friend 3; oh my god I'm going to walk in and everything is gonna be pink, (my name) you need to move in with them to balance it out

Me:*can't say anything cause I'm the same way but with black*

Friend 2: oh since she'll be over so often we'll have a safety corner set up for her that's all black, chair, blanket, stuffy, the works. People will come over and be like" what's with the one dark corner admist All this pink"

Friend 1: and I'll tell them it's my adopted goth gremlins corner.

Me:.... I mean.... Ya that's.... I can see that hapy

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Someone: so what are your goals? What did you want to do with your life

Me: I don't know.

Person: well you must have some ideas. Have you not thought about it at all?

Me: *who forgets to turn on filter around certain people*honestly Im still recovering from the shock of making it this far, my plan was to die at sixteen.

Person: what the f-

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Dad:you draw that character alot

Me:*not really paying attention cause I'm drawing* ya thier kinda my comfort character

Dad: oh? Are they one of your characters? What do they do?

Me: oh no, this particular one isn't mine, and he's a serial killer.

Dad:...your comfort character is.... A serial killer?

Me;mhm, hey why are you in my room again?

Dad;*starts backing away slowly*

Dad:.....no reason

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So apparently chasing my brother with the broom is not an appropriate response to him asking if it was my ride.