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ignooy-nim · 2 years

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‘Scrawny’ - Yang Jeongin Story

> chapter four - sweet talk

tw / cw : slight cursing, awkward encounter ... SLOW-BURN

story summary : jeongin never thought he'd ever find what he was looking for, but all along it was at the convenience store. / mia hated the re-runs of sappy kdramas that would play on the tv at the convenience store; that is, until her life became a sappy kdrama.

a/n : hey guys! - sorry its been so long since I last posted... I've been struggling a lot with finding inspiration, but with all the support I’ve been receiving on my hiatus, I finally decided to bite the bullet and start writing again even if I'm not 100% satisfied with the outcome. I hate to admit it, but I'm very much so a perfectionist and a "control freak", so writing fics such as this one usually takes me a while to do. regardless, I want to thank you all for your immense amount of support, and for sticking with me for this journey! hope you enjoy! ♡

ps, this story takes takes place around mid - late 2019, and will continue into 2020 - 2022

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> “When you laugh, I forget that it's about me, but it's alright, 'cause being your punchline still is something.” - ‘sweet talk’, saint motel

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Running around her dorm room like a chicken without its head, Mia hurriedly searches for her missing platform boot, already five minutes late to her shift.

“Nisa, are you sure it isn’t under your bed?” She asked her roommate for the ump-teenth time that night.

With a roll of her eyes, Nisa spun on her heels to face Mia, “Yes, I’m sure - I know I’m messy, but please cut me some slack!” She began to check inbetween her dresser and the heater that sat flat against the wall. “Why don’t you just wear a different pair of shoes?”

“Because,” The smaller of the two girls mumbled shamefully, “fashion…” Ending her statement with a shrug of her shoulders, Mia locked eyes with her roommate who gave her a death glare.

Giving up on her help to the search for the missing boot, Nisa deadpans, “Dude… I’m sure your uncle won’t fire you for violating fashion law!”

Mia sighs and lets out a groan before kicking off her singular boot, “Fine!” Instead, she pulls on her black converse yet again.

“I don’t know why you are trying to make such a big effort, you’re just going to work!” Nisa sighed, plopping down onto her mattress.

Mia stomped her shoe onto her foot, “I’m not trying to make an effort - just trying to look presentable…”

Nisa rolled her eyes, “‘Presentable’ my ass, Mia! You’re just hoping that your weird little boyfriend stops by again.” She grinned at her roommate who was putting her second shoe on.

With a huff Mia straightens her posture and responds, “You mean Mr. Kim don’t you? Too bad he already dropped off this week’s shipment.” The young girl feigned a sad expression while discussing the old, cranky delivery driver that provides fresh fish to the convenience store weekly.

“Oh damn! That’s a hunk of a man if I’ve ever seen one, with his.. toothlessness and his alluring odor of fish… such a delite”

The two girls broke into a fit of laughter as Mia’s phone began to ring. The screen showed the familiar face of one of her cousins, Jinyoung. She quickly composed herself to answer the call.

“Hello?” She spoke, already knowing why he was calling her out of the blue. In a haste motion she gathered her backpack, jacket, nametag and dorm key.

“Miyeon, where the hell are you? Your shift started 10 minutes ago!” The older man spoke frantically.

Mia gave a quick wave to her roommate who was still lounging on her bed, before escaping the room and speed walking to work. “I’m on my way, Jinyoung, I had a bit of uhm… an emergency.”

He scoffed before responding, “Seriously? I don’t know how my father lets you keep this job, you’re never here!”

“Never there?” Mia began to feel heated at her cousin’s words as she descended the steps of her dorm building, “I’m always there Jin! Who do you think works the night shifts when you’re in dreamland? Oh yeah — me.”

“Whatever, I’m keeping the tips I made during these 10 minutes, and you’re paying me back out of your paycheck.” Jinyoung was going to end the call, but spat back one last remark, “You know, Miyeon, some of us adults actually have lives to live outside of the store. You can’t be this selfish child much longer. Get here, now.”

Mia felt her face grow red with anger as her cousin hung up on her. The cool, fall air brushed her cheeks, soothing her raging mind. ‘Who the hell does he think he is? Just because he’s older doesn’t mean that my time is any less important’, she thought to herself.

Granted, she knows that she does have a tendency to ignore reality, but who’s to say that this is the wrong way to live?

‘Jinyoung has no idea what my life is like; he’s old, and graduated and has a fancy job at a tech firm. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a life to live outside of the convenience store too… I just don’t live his life’ Mia continued to rant to herself, attempting to calm herself down for her shift, pinning her name tag into her shirt and tying her hair back, already dreading this day of work.

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Jeongin knew he was a man on a mission the second his band member, Lee Know, had asked for him to go to the store and to pick up some more milk. Jeongin knew that he didn’t have to go to the small convenience store down the street and that he could easily avoid it all together by taking the longer venture to the supermarket instead. Jeongin knew that the likelihood of Mia being there was slim to none, seeing as he hadn’t run into her during his many ventures down the street since the night he made a complete and utter fool of himself by dumping dozens of candy packets onto the floor in front of her. Jeongin knew that his excitement was juvenile and that his hopes were too high for the average person, but yet, here he is, taking the short trek to the store that he grew to know over the span of a month.

Something inside of Jeongin made him feel somewhat obsessive, like he couldn’t just go to another store without feeling unfulfilled afterwards. It made him feel dumb and embarassed whenever his band members asked if he wanted to go to the convenience store with them and he stuttered out a ‘no’. The same way their babying made him feel, like he was incapable of handling things like a normal person does — debilitating him completely.

He hated the way the store made him feel, but mostly he hated how this girl — this stranger — was stuck on his mind every hour of his day. It felt like wasted time; time he will never get back from her as she probably couldn’t care less about Jeongin or his sleepless nights. She was just there to make a sale, and that was evident.

Becoming an idol alone is hard enough; harsh diets and endless schedules making up his adolescence. Of course the reward was good, and the hard work benefited his career, but two years of being told “you aren’t good enough” can do wonders to a person’s psyche, and to this date, Jeongin can still feel the effects of all his hard work.

Since day one, Jeongin found that the rules of idolship were simple:

Rule #1: Always stay smiling — your image is everything, you don’t want people to think you are unapproachable, do you?

Rule #2: Practice makes perfect — if you have time to relax, you have time to practice, and not a second should be wasted.

Rule #3: No distractions — this includes drugs, alcohol, and dating. Any of these three things could get you into a world of hurt, and clog your perception of what really matters; your work.

Jeongin felt as if he maintained his part of the Stray Kids title decently; he smiled when on camera and when in public, he had never experimented with substances even though most of his bandmates were of drinking age and had alcohol in the dorm. He even worked until his bones were sore and his lungs heaving for air. Was he really ready to risk his image on some girl? Some girl who probably didn’t even want anything to do with him?

Jeongin was a man on a mission to put his life back on track and to take a hold of this situation as he had no room for error in his idol life. Simply, his goal was to dismantle his irrational fear of embarrassment for once and for all.

The bell above the door of the convenience store rang out, announcing his entrance to everyone in the small establishment. Jeongin tried keeping his head held high, training his eyes out towards the expanse of aisle before him, but that focus faltered when his foot caught on a small hump in the rain mat on the floor, taking him down face-first onto the shiny tiles.

Gasps and exclamations were shared as the elderly man with graying hair who worked at the shop rushed towards the younger boy.

“Son, what happened? Are you okay?” He asked worriedly, helping Jeongin to his feet.

The younger boy’s hand rushed to the mask covering his face which had a small patch of blood growing on it.

“I’m okay! It was my fault”. He spoke nervously, realizing that the store was packed at this hour and that all eyes were on him.

All eyes on him. That’s something Jeongin was sure he’d be used to by now. The roar of the crowd, packed stadiums full of faces he could barely make out; faces he barely knew. Granted, as a kid, he was sociable, never backing down from making friends or speaking in class, but as they say, the oldest child does it first and best, the youngest can do no wrong, and the middle child is forgotten. So, why is it now, that all of these eyes stare Jeongin down as if he’s a forgotten kid that’s been sitting in the lost-and-found box since he was born? Why is it they see him now, when all goes wrong? Why does it always seem to go wrong?

The older man’s face showed fear, as he ushered Jeongin into the bathroom to help clean him up a little. “No no no, here let me help you, son. Gosh, I’m so sorry about this.”

Hesitantly, Jeongin removed his face mask once he was in the safety of the bathroom. Once he caught his reflection in the mirror he almost passed out from seeing the amount of blood that was flowing from his aching nose.

The man grabbed a clump of paper towels and ran them under the cold water to clean the blood up before he opened the small first aid kit that was under the counter.

“I keep on telling Ara that we need a new mat for the floor, but does she ever listen? - “ The man spoke rhetorically, rummaging around the kit for peroxide to clean around the area.

Silence fell in the bathroom as Jeongin let the man fix him up, in his mind however, he was cursing himself in every way imaginable. ‘How could I be so stupid?’ he continuously repeated to himself, allowing for the pain in his nose to count as a type of punishment for believing that he could ever confidently face his fears.

The man before him hummed before placing the bloody tissues into the trash, “Well, I’m no doctor, but I used to be a nurse during my time in the military, I saw many a broken nose, so I think I can safely say that you are one of the lucky ones.” He sighed before continuing, “While I don’t see a break, I’m still going to have to call you an ambulance.”

“No!” Jeongin spoke a little too hastily, “I mean, thank you, sir, but I should be fine..”

“Are you sure? You took quite the spill!” The man asked with his eyebrows raised, packing up the first aid kit just as it once was.

“Yes, I’m sure I’m ok..” He responded kindly.

The gray haired man nodded, respecting the request of his customer, “Well okay, but you must stay for a while to make sure you’re fine to continue on with your day… Here, follow me.”

The two emerged from the bathroom to a much less packed storefront. A younger boy with an eyebrow piercing and a pink streak in his hair now manned the cash register. Jeongin, being fearful of someone recognizing him, attempted to shrink into himself as the man led him to a stool close to the front counter.

“Sit here, I’ll grab you some ice.” The man, who’s name tag read ‘Peter’, instructed his customer in a comforting manner.

Jeongin relaxed onto the stool, avoiding eye contact with the boy with the pink hair, however he had other plans.

“You good?” he asked, leaning on the counter to get a better look at him, turning all his attention on the bloody man before him as the store was now empty aside from a few patrons in the back eating their lunches.

“Just great..” Jeongin spoke, now sounding bitter at his circumstance.

A pig-like snort caught his attention. The pink haired boy replied snarkily, “You look it.”

Before Jeongin could comprehend what the other boy had said, a door had slammed from the backroom followed by screaming.

The cashier before him barely flinched at this outbreak as he rolled his eyes and spoke under his breath, “Here we go again…”

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A lot could be done in 15 minutes — you could walk a mile, or make several bowls of cereal, but according to Mia’s cousin, 15 minutes can be life or death.

“Look who finally decided to show!” Jinyoung patronized Mia as she entered through the backdoor of the convenient store. “How was your leisurely walk here? Smell any sweet roses on the way? Or did you purposely take small steps just to bust my chops?”

“Listen, Jinyoung, I —” Mia started just to be interrupted.

“That’s all it is with you, isn’t it, Miyeon?” He rolled his eyes, slinging a dish towel over his shoulder. “You’re still so young, you think the world revolves around you, and only you. Well, guess what, cousin; it doesn’t. Time doesn’t stop just because you need extra sleep, and people don’t stop living their lives just because you broke a nail… Even Jiwon sees it, and he’s sixteen!”

A pink-haired Jiwon poked his head into the backroom momentarily, “Don’t bring me into this.”

Jinyoung continued, “Everyone gives you a ‘pass’ since your mom left —”

Dal, the dishwasher, interjected, “Jinyoung!”

“No, I don’t care, it’s no excuse for you to get off easy and to just act like a spoiled little brat all the damn time! The rest of us here are adults — this is either our full time job or the warm-up to our full time jobs, we aren’t all spoiled, good-for-nothing part timers such as yourself-”

“Good-for-nothing?!” Mia shouted back, “Who was the one who came up with the new frozen section delivery plan? Me. Who cleans the coffee machines when the rest of you assholes don’t want to get dirt under your nails? Me. And who covers every single shift that would belong to our other employees, if someone hadn’t pushed them so hard they quit? Oh, yeah, that’s still me.. I know you have your big boy, water jug glugging, pinstripe tie wearing job 25-hours a day, but I have school, Jinyoung! I have my future to worry about -”

Her older cousin let out a snort, “‘School’, if that’s what you wanna call it, Miyeon. Your father is paying practically his entire life savings on a glorified preschool… A ‘future’ painting stick figures, huh-” he chuckled to himself, “I think it’s time you get your head out of the clouds and wake the hell up, Miyeon.”

With the final word, Jinyoung hastily left the store through the door Mia had entered through, leaving her with a bitter taste on her tongue and hatred in her heart.

This is not the first time Mia and her cousin had ruffled eachother’s feathers, and it certainly won’t be the last. Since she could remember, her and all of her cousins were always measured against Jinyoung’s accomplishments, with him being the oldest and all. ‘Oh, Jinyoung, you’re so great! You learned how to tie your shoes faster than all the other little boys and girls in your preschool — here’s a gold star!’, ‘Oh, Jinyoung, you’re so amazing, you graduated top of your class with all ‘A’s — here, take my sports car!’, ‘Oh, Jinyoung, you’re so special, you know just how to kiss my ass as your boss — here, take my first born child, my wife, my house, and my big fancy yacht! You deserve it!’.

‘Oh, just fucking bite me’, Mia thought to herself, tying her apron on before clocking in for the day, as Dal looked on with a pitiful gaze as he too got back to work.

Mia swiftly exited the backroom and jumped on the cash register, filling Jiwon’s previous place behind the counter.

“Hi, how may I help you?” She asked in her ‘as-sweet-as-pie’ customer service voice to an elderly woman.

The woman looked startled, as the younger girl popped out of seemingly nowhere, yet, she answered kindly, “I just would like one coffee.” After Mia had rang her up and told her her total, the woman gestured to the door she had just emerged from, “Rough day?”

Collecting the money the woman laid out for her, Mia replied, “Eh, you know — family business”.

The woman nodded in response, allowing for the younger girl to concentrate on counting the change. Jiwon, still standing in the front of the store, pushed himself off of the counter and started walking towards the back door.

“You have this covered, Mia?” He asked thoughtfully. In response, he just got a nod back and a wave of her hand. “Alright then…” Jiwon turned around briefly, “Good luck with the nose”.

After she handed the woman her money back and Jiwon had fled the scene, Mia looked in the direction her cousin was just speaking, and to her surprise, there sat Jeongin attempting to fold his body in on itself in pure embarrassment.

“Hello again.” Mia spoke jovially, with a hint of laughter evident in her voice. She, like her cousin once had, leaned her elbows on the countertop, observing the boy.

“Hi” Jeongin spoke, allowing for his rosy cheeks to do the talking, wishing to be just about anywhere else at that moment.

“So...” She began, as the final customer of the last shift left the store. “What happened to your nose?”

Sighing, Jeongin remained facing forward before responding, “I uh... uhmm”, contemplating on how to explain the occurrences without sounding completely lame.

“You get into a fight? Beat his ass?” Mia mused, trying to make Jeongin smile or at least feel a little better.

“Uh- uhm.. Yeah. Just - you should see the other guy” He breathed out a laugh, as Mia nodded along barely believing his story, but not wanting to hurt his feelings.

Just then, Mia’s Uncle Peter walks up to the younger boy with an icepack in-hand, “Here you go, son. Again, so sorry about that, I keep on telling my wife that we need to get another mat, but she says it is out of financial plan for this month. Trust me you are not the first to take a spill on this thing”, he explained, kicking the rubber mat with his foot.

Jeongin on the other hand, could not possibly get any more red. “Oh, uh, that’s alright.” He held onto the ice pack tightly, making his fingers turn as white as snow.

With a comforting tap on Jeongin’s back, Peter exited through the backdoor, more than likely going to call his wife about the accident that had occurred in their shop, leaving Mia and the young boy alone in the front of the shop.

“The mat, huh?” The young girl spoke, pushing herself off of the counter and walking around to the front door. Stepping on the mat, she tried smoothing out the bumps before watching them take form again. “Yeah, this mat has definitely attempted to murder me before. It’s honestly even worse right after we just got done mopping, because then the floor is all slippery on top of the crappy mat... Glad you’re not dead though.”

“Yeah.. Me too..” Jeongin spoke, feeling a little bit better about himself.

“Let’s see it, then” Mia walked up to face the boy, looking closely at his nose. After a brief inspection she hummed, and commented, “Looks good”, before locking eyes with him and giving a warm smile.

Any and all calmness in Jeongin’s body fled as he stared into Mia’s eyes. Like a desert storm, he felt his tongue dry up as her electric eyes struck his, each blink shaking his soul like thunder with chills running up his arms like soft raindrops. Suddenly the world was frozen in their own little oasis, and he knew, that ‘Rule #3′ is going to be much harder than anticipated.

Mia, on the other hand, found Jeongin’s eyes to look like something you’d see in the Louvre; an oil painting hanging in the dim sun light, filling her body with warmth - but not too much, she hates to sweat.

Pulling away, Mia let out a small laugh to cover her own nervousness, “Did my uncle call you an ambulance, or do you just like hanging around a convenience store all evening?” She walked back around the counter to claim her own seat near the register.

“He, uh...” Jeongin cleared his throat before continuing, “He wanted to, but since it’s not broken I said it was ok. He just didn’t want me leaving just in case.”

“I see...” Mia nodded. “Well you’re lucky to have fallen when he was here, and not just my dumb ass cousin” She mumbled the last bit to herself, before trying to find something to busy herself with.

Jeongin, wishing to continue their conversation, asked “Was that the guy you were fighting with?”

Truth be told, he has never wanted to hit himself more in his entire life after seeing Mia’s reaction to his question.

“You heard that?” She turned to him again. “Oh, well that’s just great”.

“No, I-I-I mean, I just, I had a feeling -” He started, wanting to console her like she had for him, but falling flat.

“He really is an asshole, you know?” Mia grabbed a broom from behind the counter and started sweeping, “Like, who does this bastard think he is, telling me that my education doesn’t matter? Just because I’m not someone who glues my nose to a math book doesn’t mean that my future means any less. And to bring up my mom? Oh, that - that... UGH!!! I just hate him!” She threw the broom down, sitting back on her stool attempting to cool herself down before exploding in front of the boy.

Jeongin assessed the situation, watching her breathe heavily. Admittedly, he was still trying to catch up, as he got taken back by her swearing, but he knew he had to say something. And it had to be good.

“Some people just don’t understand the importance of the liberal arts... I mean, they consume these things day-in and day-out without a single thought of praise, yet when they speak to the creators, it’s suddenly shameful to even take part in something so... ‘barbaric’. It is really stupid, and even with my job people don’t always understand, and they tease and curse at us for every little thing, and some people when you tell them that you’re an artist they laugh like your just a silly kid with these crazy dreams, when you know deep down that you might just have something special. Even if it’s small and still growing with the passing days, it’s still special. I guess, we just have to learn how to not care. Because people are going to talk regardless.”

Mia listened intently before asking curiously, “What’s your job?”

“Oh-...” Jeongin froze, realizing that he had already said too much.

‘How on earth do I get myself out of this one?’ He asked himself before carefully deciding his words.

“I am... a .. musician”

“You sure about that?” She asked, laughing at his stuttered answer.

Not wanting to risk himself giving away his identity as an idol even more, Jeongin just nodded in response.

“What kind of music?”

Shit. Shit. Shit. “Uhm.. it’s like, hip-hop, rock, EDM -”

“You make EDM?” Mia asked incredulously.

Jeongin turned himself to be facing in her direction, “Not necessarily, I mean, my friends make the music, I sing.”

“You sing... to EDM?” Mia laughed, now imagining this shy boy singing to an EDM song.

“Y-Yes?” He responded, now just realizing how silly it sounds, cringing at the fact that what he told her was actually true.

Simmering down from her fit of laughter, Mia looked back at the boy across the counter, “You are an enigma, Jeongin”.

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> MASTERLIST

tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts @stray-kids-goddess @peterballardsgf @vixensss

(dm / comment if you want to be added to the tag-list)

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ignooy-nim · 2 years

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SCRAWNY CHAPTER 4, ‘SWEET TALK’ PREVIEW — Tonight at 9pm EST

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE, FOLKS!

Life Update / A/N : I cannot express just how excited I am to be back! I never thought that the fourth chapter was always the hardest to write, but this mf chapter really handed my ass to me on a silver platter :-) before the chapter goes live tonight at 9pm est, I just wanted to thank you all for the constant support during my hiatus — I really appreciate your understanding and loyalty during this time. just the thought of this story has kept me motivated, and I cannot wait to continue writing for you all! I hope to get back into a decent posting schedule again, but I am a full time college student, as well as a part time worker in retail, so finding the time to write these chapters is a little difficult (but of course very rewarding).

alongside this, I have been in a relationship with my bf for the past 7 months, so being cynical and pessimistic about romance and love has been a little difficult, but thankfully he has been very supportive during these past 9 months of knowing him. without him, I would have not even been anywhere close to being mentally ready to publish any of my works online, so I am very thankful!!!

I hope you are as excited as I am for chapter 4 — this chapter will go more in-depth with who each of the characters I am portraying through mia and jeongin are, and how juxtaposed their life situations really are, yet how similar they both are as adolescents. again, this chapter isn’t anywhere close to perfect, but I like it, and just getting it done and out of my drafts makes me feel so much more relieved.

thank you, and see you later tonight!! - mars🧍🏻‍♀️

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A pink-haired Jiwon poked his head into the backroom momentarily, “Don’t bring me into this.”

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tag-list : (dm / comment if you want to be tagged for updates! I will be adding as soon as requested!) @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts @stray-kids-goddess @yenjunsleftoverchicken

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ignooy-nim · 2 years

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SCRAWNY CHAPTER 4, ‘SWEET TALK’ PREVIEW — Next Wednesday, October 5th at 9pm EST

BE THERE OR BE SQUARE, FOLKS!

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‘All eyes on him. That’s something Jeongin was sure he’d be used to by now. The roar of the crowd, packed stadiums full of faces he could barely make out; faces he barely knew. Granted, as a kid, he was sociable, never backing down from making friends or speaking in class, but as they say, the oldest child does it first and best, the youngest can do no wrong, and the middle child is forgotten. So, why is it now, that all of these eyes stare Jeongin down as if he’s a forgotten kid that’s been sitting in the lost-and-found box since he was born? Why is it they see him now, when all goes wrong? Why does it always seem to go wrong?’

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ignooy-nim · 2 years

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Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think everyone should have full control of their own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell

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ignooy-nim · 2 years

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WOW

I cannot believe this... I know this number of followers for most people isn't much, but to me, it's such a blessing.

I know I haven't been as active on here as I had hoped I would have been, but I will definitely be working hard to give back all my appreciation to you guys soon enough!

Thank you for continously supporting me and my work - the best is always yet to come!

I don't wanna overshare, but one of the main struggles I face as someone who loves writing and wishes to pursue it as a career (in a perfect world), is the fact that it isn't indestructible when it comes to my depression. I find myself going through a never-ending series of ups and downs, so frequently that I barely have time to adjust and utilize the small bits of passion that come with the 'ups'.

I look to my friends and family for support and to be cheered on, yet all I get are blank stares and sometimes sneers. "You can't make a living off of writing" and "It's not a stable career", they always say whenever I share my creativity and passion with them, which just sends me down, down and down.

Posting my work online has been something I took part in since I first started getting into fandoms. I treated wattpad as my religion, as cringey as it sounds (but, cut me some slack, I was like 12!). Now, that I'm older, I realize that it isn't just about the fandom, but the actual act of writing that I had fallen in love with.

Writing 'Scrawny' is like a bright light in the midst of a pitch black tunnel; I can barely feel it's radiating warmth at times, but I still find comfort in knowing that it is there, and if I ever wish to reach it, I must work towards it - however, it will always be there. And maybe one day, it will be more than just a silly little experiment of a fanfiction - or at least, I hope.

But, for now, all I can say is, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I hope to see you all in the next post!

- mars (still trying her best 🧍🏻‍♀️)

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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hi everyone,

SO big apologies for skipping the past two week with my 'scrawny' fic chapters. I have been struggling again with finding my inspiration and motivation, as well as being kicked to the curb by my school work load and mental health. I am still working on the 4th chapter, so hopefully you are still along for the ride! I'm going to try to have it ready by next wednesday, but no promises.

I am kinda down at the moment right now so its hard to get in the head space to write creatively - I think I just failed my final exam for a half semester course I had online, idk if I want to become a teacher anymore, I feel like I'm the only one to not have a passion or to know what the fuck I'm doing with my life... and I'm only 20.

it hurts, but writing does bring a bit of clarity, so hopefully I'll feel a bit better tomorrow, and try to get some done!

ANYWAYS, my head hurts now from crying over failing my final exam, so I'm gonna probably try to get some rest.

tag-list, you will be notified when a new chapter drops! 💕

~ mars

tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts @stray-kids-goddess

(dm if you want to be added to the 'scrawny' tag-list!)

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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‘Scrawny’ - Yang Jeongin Story

> chapter three - DNA

tw / cw : slight cursing, mentions of anxiety, high levels of stress ... SLOW-BURN

a/n : THIS STORY DOES NOT DEPICT THE REALITIES OF ANYONE IN STRAY KIDS OR ANY OTHER IDOL THAT MAY BE MENTIONED, THIS IS ONLY FICTION... hope you enjoy ♡

ps, this story takes takes place around mid - late 2019, and will continue into 2020 / 2021

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> “Hate to say hello 'cause I know that it means goodbye. Hate to ask, but what's it like to leave me behind?” - ‘DNA’, lia marie johnson

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Ever since Mia was younger, it always felt like it was her and her dad versus the entire world; from when she was learning how to ride a bike without training wheels and scraped both of her knees on the pavement, to when they moved across the world to South Korea with nothing but a few of their most prized possessions and their hope for a better future.

Of course, she hated having to leave Canada, as well as all of her childhood friends and memories behind, but she knew something better was waiting for her, and her dad, elsewhere. For the first few months, adapting felt almost impossible - as the culture shock hit her pretty hard even though it wasn’t her first time in Korea. But, with hard work, perseverance and the passing of time, both Mia and her dad fit right in, and felt as if they were home - which they were.

However, Mia couldn’t help but imagine the short, pale woman with long, stringy black hair in any crowd she found herself in. The same woman who she shared many features with, like her rounded nose and square jaw - features that Mia detested. She always tries to push these hallucinations into the back of her mind, but that doesn’t stop the quickening of her heart and dropping of her stomach whenever her cell phone rings, in fear that one day it will be her mom.

Mia’s dad always appeared to face these kinds of things head-on, with no fear. But the truth is, Daniel Lee, like his daughter, dreads the day when his ex-wife attempts to come back into their lives, because now they both have more to lose.

“Got any sevens?” Mia asked her dad from across the coffee table, as the two competed against one another in a rigorous game of ‘Go Fish’.

Sighing in defeat, her dad passes over three sevens, “How do you always know?” He grinned before settling back down into his spot on the couch. “Any twos, kid?”

“Go Fish~” She smirked and did a little wiggle in her seat to rub it in as her dad picked up a new card from the deck.

“You're really playing with no mercy on your old man, huh?” Her dad laughed, rearranging his cards.

“How can I give you a card that I don’t even have?” Mia laughed in return, feeling it in the depths of her stomach.

Rolling his eyes, her dad responds, “Fair enough…” Before letting his daughter take her next turn, he speaks up, “So… I heard from Uncle Peter that you took an extra two shifts next weekend. Shouldn’t you be focusing on your schooling, or maybe - I don’t know - hanging out with your friends?”

“Do you have any sixes?” Mia interjected, momentarily collecting the two cards from her dad before commenting on his statement. “I need the extra money - I know I’m going to school to be an artist, but that doesn’t mean I have to be the stereotypical ‘starving and broke artist’.”

Snorting, her dad pushes on, “I know that, Mia, but you are also still young, and college should be four years of some of your best memories, not four years of scraping gum from under the tables and dirt off of the floors of the convenience store… Uncle Peter and Aunt Ara even agree.”

She let his words bounce around in her head for a second, taking them in before responding, “I have good memories… Like the time Nisa, Jiwon, Titi and I went to Lotte World for Jiwon’s birthday this past spring. Or all of the sleepovers we’ve had at each other's dorms and somehow always end up burning our mac & cheese cups in the microwave… I do have memories, dad…”

“I know, but… You just haven’t been out in a while.”

Mia scoffed, rolling her eyes, “I get out… I’m out right now!”

Her dad watched her knowingly before responding with a sigh, “You might get out Mia, but right now, it’s Saturday night and you are at home playing ‘Go Fish’ with your dad, when you could be out-out with your friends, who I am sure would love your company.”

Sitting in silence, momentarily wondering what her friend group was up to at this very moment, Mia came to the conclusion that her dad was just speaking nonsense like all dads do every once in a while. “It’s your turn.”

Giving into his daughter’s stoic expression, he responds, “Have any ones?” To which Mia passed him two of her own cards in defeat.

The two fell back into their comfortable rhythm, eventually forgetting all about their conversation, relishing in their miniscule time spent together.

Mia would never admit it, but unlike her peers, she liked going home every weekend to spend time with her dad (and to take a warm shower). Subconsciously, however, Mia felt as if it were her duty to keep an eye on her dad - as if she were the one raising him.

- As if one day, if she were to leave, he would just crumble into one million pieces.

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Sweat dripped down Jeongin’s face as he slid down the cold wall of the practice room, heart pounding loudly in his ears and breathing staggered.

Stray Kids had been practicing day and night for their next comeback, which was to arrive in just a few minuscule months, making their breaks short and few.

"Here -" Hyunjin, just beginning to catch his own breath, walked towards the youngest member and passed his cold water bottle over to him.

Jeongin thanked him quietly before waterfalling the cool liquid and swallowing it in large gulps, feeling it's chill travel through his body temporarily.

Without realizing it, he had finished the bottle, giving a guilty look to his bandmate who just waved him off.

"Don't worry, I'll get another one, Innie." Hyunjin walked to the opposite side of the room where the bottles of water were kept, leaving the younger boy alone in the corner with his throbbing head.

Days like this, with aching limbs, sweat patches all over his clothes, and a thirst that just can't be quenched, made Jeongin think more than usual. He thought about the nights he had before Stray Kids was even an idea - the training that he once found rigorous is now childsplay to him, finding the 5 hour trainee periods almost laughable.

Fondly he remembered how on some days when he finished training early, he'd take a day trip to his family's home in Busan, where he would spend the weekend.

Sometimes Jeongin would see some old friends on the train or on the streets of his hometown, actually being able to enjoy their youth to the fullest, while he was working close to 24 hours everyday to perfect his skills as a performer - fearing that one day it would all slip from his fingertips if he didn't work hard enough.

Even with gratitude and pride coursing through his veins from being a part of Stray Kids, a small part of him longed for that same freedom his hometown friends have.

He wanted to not have to wake up at ungodly hours just to work straight through to the next day.

To not have to ask permission for every little thing he wanted to do.

To not have to be restricted.

Once you're an idol, everything about your life becomes everyone else's business, and if it doesn't fit their idealizations that they created of you, then they get mad, and your career can end as soon as it started.

Jeongin knew he wasn't the only one who felt this split deep inside, but for some reason this realization always seemed to make him feel disconnected - lonely.

Curling his knees up to his chest, he took his head in his hands, resting his sweaty forehead onto his palms, feeling his blood pump through his temples. With his fingers brushing through his fringe, he hoped that he could make these foolish thoughts stop.

He quickly racked his brain for anything to keep his mind off his loneliness; ice-cream was the first thing to surface amidst the ocean of his thoughts.

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry - the various flavors clouded his senses. A sugary sweet scent mixed with fruity undertones. He imagined the cool sensation in his mouth and the fulfillment he'd feel after the first scoop.

There really was nothing like a tub of ice cream that would make Jeongin feel like a kid again.

Being woken up out of his daydreaming by his rumbling stomach, he searched around the practice room with eyes hooded from the intense lighting. The other members of Stray Kids were practicing their individual parts and hyping eachother up.

The group's leader, Chan, realized the youngest member's disconnect, and wandered over to him.

"You okay?" He gave him a brief pat on the head.

Jeongin collected himself, "Yeah, just kinda hungry."

Nodding, the older boy shifted his weight, "Well, practice is almost over I think, so when we get home we can order some food in."

"Actually.. I think I'm going to just pick up some ice cream, and call it a night."

The leader stifled a laugh, amused at the younger boy's craving. "Oh yeah? That's not very filling, make sure you get something else with it too then, okay?"

"Okay." Jeongin agreed, attempting to appear more energized.

Chan reached his hand out to help the maknae up from his seat on the floor, which Jeongin took with gratitude, letting the older boy give him a quick pat on his back before leading them back into the middle of the room to finish out their practice.

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By the time Jeongin could leave practice, the black canvas above his head was already speckled with hundreds of little stars - each one brighter than the last. His feet hit the ground quickly, hoping the convenience store was still open this late on a Saturday… And that Mia was there to ring him up, but that’s besides the point.

The closer he got to the store, the more his stomach rumbled and his heart flipped with joy. The heavy exhaustion that once controlled his being was slowly lifting as he saw the soft glow of the neon ‘Open’ sign on the glass door.

Like all the other times he'd venture here on his nightly travels, he entered the building comfortably, readying himself to throw back whatever shit Mia was going to give him this time.

But the kind face that greeted him when he walked through the door wasn't hers, but rather an older man with a graying beard.

"Hello!" the man spoke, he had a bright smile on his face.

Jeongin felt something inside him drop, as if he was on a roller coaster and was barreling 70 meters to the ground at top speed.

Shaking himself out of his disappointment, he responded half-heartedly, "Hello."

He walked down the aisles filled with minor confusion. 'Mia is always here..' he thought to himself, deciding not to make it into something he knew it wasn't.

At the end of the aisle he stood in, Jeongin could see the rows of ice cream practically calling his name. But something in his stomach had changed, making him feel less hungry than he was before.

Giving up on his wish for ice cream, Jeongin walked to the soda coolers and picked out just a bottle of Coke instead, hoping that his bandmates left some take-out for him.

Approaching the front counter made him feel nervous, but not for the same reason when it was Mia. 'What if she got fired?' his thoughts bubbled quickly in his mind.

"This all, son?" The older man asked after scanning the bottle of Coke.

Jeongin nodded, "Yes sir.."

"Alright, that will be ₩1,600." He spoke, still maintaining a kind gaze.

Handing him enough money for the soda, Jeongin thanked him and left as soon as he arrived, now feeling unfulfilled and just as lonely as before.

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> MASTERLIST

tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts @stray-kids-goddess

(dm / comment if you want to be added to the tag-list)

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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hi besties,

so tonight is the night I'm going to post the 3rd chapter of 'scrawny', but I just wanted to give a quick heads-up that it might be posted a little later that usual... I'm kinda swamped with homework today, but I'm going to prioritize getting this chapter out.

I hope y'all don't mind but its a little bit of a filler, but I think it gives some insight on who mia is, her past as well as the character I am portraying through jeongin.

I just wanna make sure its edited and perfect before posting it, so instead of it being posted at 9pm est tonight, I'm going to try to post it at around midnight est tonight.

those who are on the taglist will obviously be notified, and I look forward to seeing y'all later 😋

(ps, thanks for the tremendous support, it seriously means a lot to me 💞)

~ mars

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tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts @stray-but-okay

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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IGNOOY-NIM'S MASTERLIST

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🦋 STRAY KIDS EXTRA MEMBER AU

> oc: Jae-Lynn King

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🧋 'SCRAWNY' - A YANG JEONGIN STORY

> story summary : jeongin never thought he'd ever find what he was looking for, but all along it was at the convenience store. / mia hated the re-runs of sappy kdramas that would play on the tv at the convenience store; that is, until her life became a sappy kdrama.

> oc : Mia Lee

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> Coming Soon...

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disclaimer : all work is fictional unless specified and is not meant to accurately represent any person who may appear in my work or their personal beliefs. this blog is not associated with jyp / jype or any of their idols, as well as any other idol mentioned.

© ignooy-nim 2020 - all posts tagged with their specific tags on this tumblr account are my genuine work unless stated otherwise. I only post on my tumblr, so if you see anything pertaining to my work elsewhere, please be kind and reach out to me to let me know. thanks <3

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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‘Scrawny’ - Yang Jeongin Story

> chapter two - kids

tw / cw : slight cursing, talking about sharks (death), existentialism, awkward encounter, ... SLOW-BURN

ps, this story takes takes place around mid - late 2019, and will continue into 2020 / 2021

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> “Oh, I am just a kid, I never use my brain, I only use my heart and my imagination.” - ‘kids', current joys

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No matter how hard he tried, Jeongin couldn't seem to get the taste of chicken flavored ramen out of his mouth. He brushed his teeth with extra toothpaste the morning after, chewed gum, used mouthwash every time he went to the bathroom, and even gargled salt water in private.

All of his efforts felt useless and only left him with a sore throat... But maybe it wasn't just the ramen that left a lasting impression on Jeongin.

Keeping his sharp eyes trained to the ceiling above his bed, his brain worked like a projector - playing the scene from the night at the convenience store on the blank, spackled ceiling as if it were a movie screen.

The small girl with blue in her hair spoke vividly in his mind, "Are you sure I can't get you some water for your ramen… Promise it'll taste much better cooked." Her teasing grin felt like it was permanently plastered in his head, and he wasn't completely sure if he even wanted it to go away.

For the past several nights that went by since his trip to the small convenience store that sat a few blocks away from his dorm, Jeongin spent each one just like this; laying flat on his back, staring at the blank ceiling, and cringing at his inability to look normal in front of the cute girl who works at the store.

He tried to not make it into such a big deal, because at the end of the day, it wasn't, and just like every other cringe-worthy experience he's had in his life, it will go away - but, the flavor on his tongue continued to remind him of every detail from that night.

There were many times when Jeongin wanted to ask his friends for help, as he honestly had no clue what he was feeling or what he was doing - or even if he should do anything. But he decided that he could give himself just as much of a hard time as they would once they found out that he has a little crush on a stranger - he would only be sparing himself from the added humiliation.

Most of the other members of Stray Kids have gone to bed for the night, or were just turning in. Both of his roommates were fast asleep in their beds, as they were completely knocked out from the day's dance practice.

Jeongin, however, couldn't feel more awake. He came to a sudden realization that no matter how much his aching body protested, his mind was still going to force his eyelids to stay open.

Giving up on the imaginary movie playing on his ceiling, Jeongin turned on his side, where his phone was charging. The brightness of the background burned his eyes once he turned it on to check the time; 1:29am.

He let the screen fade back to black before letting out a defeated sigh. Like his phone, the room surrounding him was full of darkness - aside from the dim slivers of light that came through the blinds on the opposite side of the room.

Jeongin wasn't the biggest fan of nighttime, mostly because the dorm at night was always oddly quiet while (mostly) everyone got some sleep, as opposed to the group's usual high-energized chatter that continued throughout the day. But sometimes, he found that the later hours were much more convenient for thinking or reflecting.

Tonight, however, his mind was his biggest enemy, continuously imagining the pretty girl with infectious laughter. Jeongin hated the fact that he knew exactly how to silence his thunderous thoughts, but maybe his dignity was worth another night alone.

────────SCRAWNY───────

Mia felt as if her brain was melting out of her ears, as her boredom was eating her alive.

Sometimes she dealt well with working part-time and being a college student, but tonight felt particularly overwhelming as her Seminar in the Psychological Importance of Visual Arts within Society professor had assigned her class a five page essay due the next day on a piece of visual art that projects any sort of social meaning. She had been writing for what felt like hours, but only had half of her introduction down;

‘‘The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living’ is an artwork made by Damien Hirst in 1991, in which he had preserved a tiger shark’s carcass in formaldehyde and put it on display in a glass box. To the viewer, his piece can be both jarring and somewhat sorrowful, as the shark is seen perpetually floating in a dim glass case that appears to be just large enough to hold it inside… ’

Something inside of Mia made her wish that a car would drive straight through the doors of the convenience store, just to give her anything else to do.

Briefly, she envied her older cousin, Ian, who had already graduated college and was finding his way through the world one carefully calculated step at a time.

Mia never cared much for being cautious in life, always finding the 'safe route' to be the most boring. The world, in her eyes, is harshly unapologetic, and if you want to be able to be yourself then it's necessary to take risks - especially when you're an artist.

In high-school, one of Mia's teachers taught her that when you are creating art you should be making something that inspires you and that you find enjoyable, because at the end of the day, art is an extension of the artist.

Risks are not meant to put one's life at jeopardy, but rather enhance what was already there. Without risk, life would be absolutely boring and repetitive - safe. In a way, it was sort of like Hirst's shark in a box; facing something that could end your life in the blink of an eye if it were alive.

Life itself could be brutal like a shark, but you take away the risk - the mobility, the skin-piercing teeth - then life would be so predictable, people wouldn't even have to wake up in the morning to know how their day would turn out.

Mia's eyes drifted back to the almost blank page of her notebook, hoping for her to be able to write as easily as she can speak or think, but her words remained jumbled up in her mind, unable to rearrange them into intelligible sentences.

Thankfully, the bell above the door rang out, giving Mia permission to procrastinate without her feeling guilty about it.

Almost instinctively, her eyes lit up as soon as she caught sight of the cute boy who wore clothes that made him look relaxed but put-together. The only indicator that could give away his late-night travels would be his slightly messy hair that peaked from under the hood of his sweatshirt.

"Hello~" She greeted him like she did a few nights ago, but this time her reaction was more genuine.

He smiled back to her under his disposable mask, "Hi.." he walked into the store, watching his shoes hit the tile with each step.

Mia let him wander around the aisles for a few minutes before a loud bang and a crash caught her attention. She quickly scanned the store, seeing the boy leaning over a whole rack of candies that fell over, spilling all of its contents on the floor.

"Oh my gosh, what happened?" She laughed, standing from her stool behind the counter and making her way over to the mess.

The boy knelt to pick up the rack and put it back in its place, "It uh - fell?"

"Weird," Already piecing together what happened, Mia grinned before squatting to the floor to pick up as many bags of candy as she could, "it's never done that before."

Nervously, the boy came to the ground in front of her, to help collect the fallen candies. "I'm sorry.." he spoke sheepishly, his cheeks burning red under the confines of his mask.

"It's okay, no need to be sorry.. things just fall sometimes, I guess.. No big deal." Mia tried to make him feel less embarrassed by joking about the mishap.

Soon enough, the candy was cleared off the floor and replaced back onto the display just as it was before.

As Mia was returning to the counter, the boy spoke up again, shocking both of them, "I'm Jeongin."

A small chuckle was caught in her throat as she absorbed what he said. "Cool." She turned to him and the rest of the store, "I'm Mia."

He repeated her name under his breath, finally being able to put a name to her face whenever he thought of her while staring at his ceiling at night.

Mia, feeling equally as fulfilled by their small interaction, returned to her post at the register where her sorry excuse for an essay laid. Deep in her stomach, she felt the ticklish sensation of giggles bubble, threatening to spill out of her mouth.

She relished in the cute awkwardness that Jeongin embodied, slightly cringing at the fact that he probably didn’t notice her nametag in the first place, making his efforts not really necessary on his behalf. Although, she is glad to not have to call him 'the cute boy from the convenience store' anymore - even if it had a nice ring to it.

Now watching Jeongin traipse up and down the aisles, Mia attempted to piece him together - who he was, his story. All she really knew was his name, that he is very socially and physically awkward, and that he barely knew how to make instant ramen.

She wondered where he went to school, or if he even was in school. Maybe he had a job and earned his own money, not having to rely on his parents financially. Or maybe he was a bit of a rebel, a thief, a delinquent.

Growing more and more alarmed by her imaginative thoughts of the boy, Mia shook herself out of her mind, realizing that Jeongin was approaching the front counter with a bottle of water and a bag of honey butter chips.

He gently placed the two items onto the counter top, refraining from locking eyes with her as she rang him up.

“That will be 11,750₩” Mia looked towards him with jubilant eyes, as he dug through his pockets for his wallet.

Just as he did the other night, he passed her just enough to pay for his things, leaving her with the change as he collected the two items in his arms and made his way to the door.

Mia stopped him, “What? Are you not going to keep me company?” She laughed, hoping she wasn’t making the boy explode with how flustered he was.

Jeongin turned around, a smile formed in his eyes, “Are you going to patronize me again?”

“Not if you know how to eat chips...” She responded, feeling relieved that he was joking with her and not taking her words too seriously, because not only would she scare him off but she would also probably lose her job.

Sighing, the boy moved across the store to sit on the same bar stool that he did the other night. He removed his mask and took a hold of the chip bag before shifting around so he was facing Mia again, making sure she saw him open his snack on his own.

She grinned at Jeongin’s cheeky smile as he showed off his open bag of chips, rolling her eyes to dismiss him.

Mia’s face grew warm once his dimples fell out of view, making her want to claw at her cheeks in annoyance. Letting her head fall into her hands she questioned the fluttering bubbles in her stomach, and the sweatiness of her palms.

‘You have been around stupid boys before, get a fucking grip, dude!’ She thought to herself, hoping that this weird sensation was just because she was tired and lacked social interaction.

Gathering herself, Mia peered back down at her notebook, where the shitty excuse for an introduction sat in dark ink.

What was the point of Hirst’s art piece, anyways? It was just a dead shark in a cage - it’s practically Sea World! But maybe that was it, the shark was kept safe from the outside world, just as the world was safe from it, all it took was a sheet of glass to separate the mammals from the fish, when in reality, they were all one and the same anyways.

People go swimming with sharks, Mia knew that - she never would, but she knew that certain people liked the fear factor. They know the risks up front and center and still do it, but then get pissed when they get bit or something, like they didn’t just barge into the shark’s home uninvited.

There were certain risks Mia could never get on board with, but to each their own.

She picked up her pen again, attempting to get anything down on her paper, falling unaware of the fact that Jeongin was her shark - the risk she was too scared to take - making Mia, for the first time in her life, feel cautious.

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> MASTERLIST

tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts

(dm / comment if you want to be added to the tag list!)

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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🧋NOTIFICATION🧋

hey besties!

first and foremost, happy comeback day! noeasy has been ABSOLUTELY killing me since 5am this morning :-) and for interactions sake, do you have a favorite track?? mine is either cheese or secret secret⚡

NOW, down to business - I am currently back on campus for college, and I already have a shit ton to do 🙃 what does this mean for my page? - well, I think I’m going to try to post ‘scrawny’ every other wednesday at 9pm (est) mostly because it takes me a while to write each chapter to perfection, and then edit them before posting. SO, expect a new chapter this wednesday!

I don’t want to promise any kind of schedule, because I suck with scheduling PLUS I now have to deal with my school work as well as the little I go out and socialize these days. but, for rn, it’s looking like every other wednesday at 9pm est is the most convenient, as most of my school work is due on sundays, thursdays, and fridays.

BTW, to preface, ‘scrawny’ is going to be SUPER slow-burn, so if you don’t like pining ... well, sorry :-)

thank you all for the amazing support, you all make me want to keep up with my writing and further pursue what I love doing. the pandemic has made it super hard to feel any kind of passion about any of my hobbies, which hurt a lot, but now that I’m getting back into the swing of things, it definitely feels better! 💞💞💞

if anyone has any requests / ideas for the fic, let me know! my asks are open, as well as my dms! 🤩

as far as the tag list goes, please comment on posts or dm me to ask to be added, and I gladly will do so!

again, thank you, and I hope to see you all on wednesday! <3

- mars

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> MASTERLIST

tag-list: @lovely-manette @jeonstresour @yeongstar @mariafeh @super-btstrash-posts

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

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ahahaha - I'm okay 🥲🙃

this boy will be the death of me akskaka the grey sweats tho 🥴 fuck

*edit - this post is doing numbers, so if you see this and want to get into a new jeongin fanfic, you should check out mine!

it's an idol!jeongin x oc fic titled 'scrawny'. there is currently one chapter posted, but I will be trying to post as frequently as I can 💞

ALSO, I have a skz extra member au that you can also check out if you wanna 🤩

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ignooy-nim · 3 years

Text

‘Scrawny’ - Yang Jeongin Story

> chapter one - scrawny

tw / cw : slight cursing, awkward encounter ... SLOW-BURN

ps, this story takes takes place around mid - late 2019, and will continue into 2020 / 2021

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> “I’ll be one of those people you remember, They’ll be looking at us when we’re together.” - ‘scrawny’, by wallows

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The ancient clock hanging above the Coca-Cola coolers ticked slowly throughout the convenience store as Mia Lee mopped the tiled floors for the third time that night.

It was nearing midnight and for the last two and half hours there have been absolutely no signs of human life whatsoever - not like Mia was going to complain, less work for her during the graveyard-shift.

Her black converse squeaked on the wet floor as she shoved the mop back into the bucket and left it in the corner of the room. With a bored sigh, Mia walked across the shop before reclaiming her seat behind the front counter on a creaky wooden stool.

On the small TV suspended on the wall, a re-run of an old k-drama played; the two leads were having a snow-ball fight, as large iridescent flakes of snow fell from the sky. Their smiles were practically plastered onto their faces, and love was lingering in their eyes. The scene itself seemed to be absolutely perfect.

Mia would have immediately swooned if she were that kind of person, but she wasn’t - amidst her inumerable attempts. Sometimes she tried to imagine herself blushing at the words of a cute boy or melting into a pile of goop at one’s smile as they left a chaste brush of their hand on hers, but all she felt was pure awkwardness deep in her bones - as if she were destined not to feel love, or at least a kind of ‘stereotypical love’.

As the scene on the chunky TV set came to a close, the bell above the glass door of the convenience store jingled indicating the presence of a boy around Mia’s age entering the shop. He had dark brown hair, and was wearing grey sweatpants, a dark green sweatshirt with a white shirt underneath, and chunky white sneakers. Half of the boy's face was covered by his mask and his oversized glasses, but Mia could already tell that he was attractive just based on his fashion sense alone.

“Hello~” Mia mustered up a kind smile through her naturally tired expression.

The customer seemed surprised by her existence, as he had momentarily hesitated by the door before responding politely to the girl. “Good evening..”

He turned his back to her, rummaging down the series of aisles in search for whatever it was he was craving at that late hour. Mia attempted to mind her own business because she knew what it was like to be on the other side, and how anxiety-inducing it could be to be watched while shopping, so she just picked at her black nail polish and peered at her feet swinging above the ground.

After a few minutes of the boy wandering around the shop and stealing short glances at Mia over the chip aisle, he decided to finally face his fears and approached the counter with buckling knees. He placed a cup of instant ramen, a pack of kimbap and a bottle of water onto the counter top.

“Will this be all?” Mia stood from her stool before ringing up his items.

The taller boy nodded his head and simultaneously cleared his throat so he could directly respond, “Uh, yes..” His voice sounded much deeper than before.

Attempting to hide her grin at him trying to appear more mature, Mia finished ringing up the boy’s items, “Okay, your total is 13,500₩. Would you like a bag?”

“No thank you..” He spoke, riffling through his wallet then handing her just enough to pay for his things.

While she put the money into the cash register, the boy gathered his things in his arms, indicating that she could keep the change, but Mia stopped him short.

“Did you want me to put water in your ramen?” She spoke with an amused look on her face, as he had seemingly forgotten that the ramen wasn’t already cooked.

He barely digested her words before he shook his head ‘no’, “No thanks, I uhm… I’m good?” His voice sounded like even he questioned himself, aware that there was no way in hell that he’d be able to eat the ramen without water added to it.

"O - Okay…" Mia's brows furrowed, but before she could stop him, he already found his way to the bar stools across the convenience store, took off his mask and began to eat his kimbap and drink his water, leaving his ramen to the side, now aware of his mistake.

Mia wanted to laugh, but her mind was stuck on the delicate features of the boy that were once hidden under his disposable mask. His skin was smooth, and when he chewed she noticed his dimples peak through.

As anyone would, Mia took out her cell phone and immediately texted her best friend, Nisa, about the cute stranger.

After telling Nisa that she’ll be back to their shared dorm room in approximately two hours, Mia shut her phone off and hid it back into the pocket of her black hoodie with a content smile on her lips.

Across the store, the boy had eaten half of his kimbap and was now tapping on his phone.

Admittedly, Mia felt kinda bad for the boy; she, herself, had never been shy, but could imagine that it must be hard. But there was also something that she admired about those who got flustered by their own words; they didn't have verbal vomit whenever they got nervous. For her, that was her downfall - too many words to say, not enough time… and not enough ears to listen to what she had to say.

When she used to live in Canada, people in her year would make fun of her ruthlessly for having absolutely no filter and for being a "teacher's pet". Mia never truly understood why being outspoken and smart was such a terrible combination of traits for a person to have, as she always used to see the shy people get bullied in school too. But in reality, no one is really safe from the hell that is middle school.

Standing from her seat, Mia came from behind the counter to approach the boy. The closer she got to him, the more sweaty her palms felt, completely unaware of the reason why she felt particularly anxious in the moment. 'He's just a customer, Mia', she tried to convince herself.

She got about three feet from him before he realized that she was there and turned his attention towards her.

"Are you sure I can't get you some water for your ramen?" Mia grinned, gesturing to the unopened cup on the counter top. "Promise it'll taste much better cooked.."

The dark haired boy smiled, ashamed of his prior mistake. "That'd be nice.." He let out a small laugh to hide his embarrassment while handing Mia the cup of instant ramen.

"OK, would you like me to put it together for you too or do you have it handled?" She attempted to joke, already slapping herself for her cringe attempt.

The boy laughed again, slightly rolling his eyes, "I think I can manage, thank you."

Mia hummed in response, the smile on her face beginning to make her muscles ache. She turned towards the front of the store, where the hot water was kept, trying to compose herself. 'What the fuck is wrong with me? Must be the triple espresso I had today', she thought, watching the steam engulf the cup of ramen before carefully returning the cup to the cute customer.

"Here you go - now, you know that you'll have to take the lid off to eat it, right?" Mia continued to push the boy's buttons.

He sighed, already catching onto what she was insinuating, "I know how to eat instant ramen."

In response, Mia threw her hands up in defense and said, "OK~ I'll be over at the front counter just in case you forget how to use your chopsticks." She began walking back to her seat, feeling pleased when she heard the light scoff and laugh from the boy.

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An hour had passed since the cute boy left the convenience store, and Mia was feeling absolutely bored.

Not only were there no other customers coming in to buy a coffee or even a stupid bag of chips, but … Mia was out of rubber bands to fling at the garbage can (they may or may not have been all on the floor at this point).

She snacked on some gummy candies while attempting to come up with just one other task for her to do to make herself feel productive, but nothing came to mind - the shelves were stocked, the inventory was counted for, and the floors were so clean that you could eat off of them.

Part of her wished that she had the guts to ask for the boy's number or at least his social media to keep her entertained, but even Mia isn't that confident.

Sometimes her friends would tease her for being such a loudmouth but then becoming quiet in the worst of times. Like during a school presentation or a serious conversation. It has nothing to do with Mia lacking the ability to provide her opinions - because she has many of those - but rather her confidence taking a nosedive right into the ground whenever pressure is placed on her. She's never been completely used to making her own decisions, and the little freedom she gets from being at university is still kind of jarring.

Mia supposed that her lack of confidence came from not having something 'constant' in her life, as it's hard to put your all into things that will just disappear just as you begin to lean on them.

Sometimes she blamed herself, sometimes it was society's fault, but mostly she felt like the main source of these problems was her mom.

Just as Mia finished her bag of candies her phone rang. On the screen, there was a picture of her uncle with his contact name, and the green and red buttons beneath it.

Tapping the green one, Mia held the phone firmly to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hi Miyeon, I have great news!" Her uncle, Peter, spoke ecstatically through the speaker. "I'll be down to the shop in about fifteen minutes with your cousins, so you can get off a little early tonight if you want.."

"Really? Cool!" Mia smiled brightly, leaning her elbows onto the counter top in anticipation. "Did you guys go to pick up the rest of the frozen stock?"

Uncle Peter hummed in response, "And along the way, we actually caught a glimpse of the lantern festival in Cheonggyecheon. The lights were very pretty at this hour, you should have seen them."

"Sounds pretty, I think some of my friends went to that tonight.."

"Did you want to go, Miyeon? You should have asked for the night off!" The older man lightly scolded his niece.

Mia could hear one of her cousins speak up in the background, "Don't tell her that, then she'll never come to work again!"

After her uncle reprimanded his son, Mia responded, "I cherish this job, and plus, they're just some lanterns.. I can always go next time, uncle."

"What a kind girl.. We'll see you in a little bit, okay?" Through the phone, her uncle's smile was evident in his tone.

"OK, drive safe!" Mia spoke before they collectively ended the call.

Silence filled the air in the convenience store, putting the young girl on edge. Mia never really liked being completely alone, as her thoughts always seemed to get the best of her. Most of the time, she wasn't alone - at her dorm she was always with Nisa, at her classes she had her peers, at her home she had her dad, and at work there were usually customers, but tonight was the exception, apparently.

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Soon after her uncle and cousins arrived at the store, Mia found herself in her dorm where she sat on her bed, gossiping with Nisa about the encounter she had with the cute boy.

“So was he more like ‘Sweeny Todd’ type of weird, or ‘David Bowie’?” Nisa leaned forward on her bed that sat parallel to her roommate’s.

Mia shrugged her shoulders, chewing her cheese sandwich with a grin, “I don’t know, he wasn’t weird-weird, but just… awkward… cute-awkward.” She mumbled the last part, allowing for her friend to throw one of her soft pillows at her head.

After the two girls winded down from their fit of giggles, Nisa spoke out, “You think he’ll come in again?”

“Maybe..” The young girl responded, “but there are also hundreds of other convenience stores in the area, so..”

“Yeah, but none of them have a hot-ass girl working the register.” Nisa winked before curling up under her duvet, feeling beyond sluggish.

Mia retaliated, “They might.” She leaned over to toss her now empty plate into the trash can beside her desk. “Besides, you know I’m not looking to start anything right now.”

With a scoff her roommate teased her, “Yeah, yeah - you always say that, Mia… Maybe it’s fate, you don’t know..” Her voice slowly became softer, as she fell into sleep.

Watching Nisa’s stomach slowly rise and fall rhythmically, Mia let her words sink into her mind. ‘Fate? That shit is just for hopefuls and nuns”, she thought to herself, rolling her eyes before climbing off her bed to get ready to let sleep consume her as well.

Her hall’s shared bathroom was unnaturally empty, but Mia didn’t think much of it as she set her shower bag onto the counter. Ceremoniously, she put her hair up, removed her make-up, and then retired to one of the toilet stalls to change into her pajama clothes of black bike shorts and a grey hoodie that fell just above the seam of her shorts.

Once she finished her routine of washing her face and brushing her teeth, she finally took in a deep breath and locked eyes with herself in the mirror. Through her thick glasses, she could see every flaw on her skin (thanks to the fluorescent lighting). Mia would consider herself to be more confident than the average person, but at the end of the day, she too has closets full of skeletons.

Taking hold of her shower bag, Mia returned to her dorm room, which was now fully darkened aside from the streetlights on the road below casting their soft glow through the window. After removing her glasses, she folded herself beneath the thick covers of her bed hoping that her ‘fate’ would be to wake up on time for her 7AM course.

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