iliterallybreathoxygen

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Me, quite hungry: I'll just heat this up in the microwave for a minute

Food: is still cold

Me: Just 30 more seconds

The food: you fool. You absolute buffoon. You idiot of monumental proportions. It is time for my reckoning

Followed immediately by the food literally bubbling and exploding just a little

#meirl #microwave #why does this keep happening

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A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. 

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

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Also applies to other people viewing you tbh

me when the disorder that I have that is literally a disability makes me unable to do certain things

#real #mental illness

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I didn't do it for you 😔

#didn't i do it for you #i didn't

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Et tu, Nook

#history jokes #animal crossing #animal crosing new horizons #tom nook #julius caesar

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follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

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Fun fact: You can criticize a piece of work without insulting 1) It's creators, 2) It's fans, and 3) Everyone even tangentially related.

A piece of work can be absolutely terrible in your eyes, but enjoyable in someone elses. Your experiences are not universal.

Furthermore, someone enjoying a story that contains shitty people doing shitty things does not inherently mean that person supports what is being portrayed.

Analyze, criticize, and appreciate things without being an ass to others. You don't need to make immense statements that encompass an entire group when you just know a person who liked Death Note and said they related to the protagonist. They are not everybody else.

So please, criticize works. Consider their negatives while also appreciating their positives. Hell, if you need to, create a logical matrix of traits you like and dislike so that you stop accusing large groups of people of some random bullshit while citing that weirdo you know as a source

#rant #just leave me be #i wanna enjoy media without being accused of some wackass shit #it's getting really tiring here

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Good news, fellow artists! Nightshade has finally been released by the UChicago team! If you aren't aware of what Nightshade is, it's a tool that helps poison AI datasets so that the model "sees" something different from what an image actually depicts. It's the same team that released Glaze, which helps protect art against style mimicry (aka those finetuned models that try to rip off a specific artist). As they show in their paper, even a hundred poisoned concepts make a huge difference.

(Reminder that glazing your art is more important than nighshading it, as they mention in their tweets above, so when you're uploading your art, try to glaze it at the very least.)

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I quite like that angle!

The one thing I have against that is how he doesn't see The Pestilence in everyone. He also plays around a bit much with dead things as research and bringing them back feels like it'd be against his whole idea.

Nonetheless, I don't think there's a right or wrong answer, and your perspective is a really neat interpretation!

What do you think The Pestilence™️ of SCP-049 is? Do you think it exists at all? Any thoughts on the whole vibe of SCP-049?

The pestilence is probably mortality. Like as a serious note, I'm not sure if I came to this conclusion or if I'm ripping it from someone else, but I always interpreted the "pestilence" as being human kinda mortality, and the good doctor was desperate in trying to find a "cure" for it.

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if a girl tried to sacrifice me to the old gods that would be totally fine and I would submit but if a guy did that I would fight back a little

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i can’t endlessly retweet the original since i uninstalled stupid bird app, so i’m posting it here to endlessly reblog instead

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Most recent projects I've been working on:

- Zombie essay

- Philosophical zombie essay

- Psychology experiment video game

Lots of fun stuff, I've been enjoying it a lot and even if it's a bit to keep up with, it's worth it to me

#life update #recent projects #school

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Good luck to the UAIS quizbowl team in the Ohio QB tourney! We hope you make it back alive and well. Don't get lost in the corn fields!

Also, Ohio drivers are the worst. This is a statistical fact and very true

Source: Just trust me bro

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Rat from Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

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So quick reminder for all my fellow students of the world

You can do assignments on topics you think are fun

If you're given the option to choose what you want to do a project on, relate it to something you are interested in or think will be fun!

As an example, I had to write an English essay analyzing King Lear, so I went into Shakespeare's allusions to demonology in characterizing Lear. I'm also writing an essay about the math of a zombie apocalypse

This stuff is fun, and makes me much more passionate about the things I work on. Is this a perfect solution to all schoolwork? No, but it's helpful nonetheless

#school #school tips #make your project a shitpost #include a 5g horse #talk about the emu wars

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POV: you're a cashier at a fast food restaurant

"Uhhhhhh, can I get uhhhhh"

"Sir, could I take the next person while you decide yo-"

"I'm almost ready. Now let me get uhhhhh"