illogicallyinclined

[illogicallyinclined]

Roman: unprovoked?! x

#logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #jay draws #medical school is still stomping me but sometimes i see things that make me miss sanders sides so much that i simply have to scrawl #cursing

[illogicallyinclined]

Okay here's some old hockey au stuff that never got posted:

1) that one drawing I had initially posted here, but this time colored over with posca pens

2) I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be Logan and Roman in the hockey au, but it's been so long so idk

3) a hockey au animatic that never happened, I wanted to make like a very simple thing that gave focus to each character and the ending was going to focus on Logan, so that part was storyboarded here

4) these were just little logos that were supposed to go with the animatic that never happened

Anyway, shoutout to @illogicallyinclined for making the hockey au, which I still love so much to this day for some of juiciest Logan angst out there

#hockey au #orb u are incredible and i miss these boys

[illogicallyinclined]

I’ve realized recently that i really grew up with the hockey au, and even though we’re all in uni and other things, i wanted to say thank u for the lovely little universe you’ve created here. it’s comforting to come back to when i need some safe, nostalgic content 🫶

-🐝

i love the hockey au with all my heart, and i am very happy to hear that it could bring comfort to you in any way <3

that said, i absolutely plan on coming back home to it eventually, so i hope we can all hold on through whatever harships we've got going on together until then

in the meantime, have a little anecdote (tw: drinking)

Joan makes a Point of telling their terrible hockey children that they "do not condone drinking in excess" (especially during the hockey season). but also, they were a college student at one point and they Get It, so they don't actually hammer down on this rule. (and, on top of that, they have a second rule: if a player is drunk and needs a ride home, they will provide it at any time, no questions asked -- provided the player makes it to the next practice and doesn't make a habit of it.)

that said, the first time D had a really bad experience solo at a bar, he ended up texting Joan in his drunken haze -- and he was absolutely floored when Joan held true to their word, arriving at the bar a little past 2 AM and safely delivering D to his apartment without so much as a pitying glance in his direction. D never ended up properly saying thank you -- (he was far too embarrassed at the show of vulnerability for that) -- but he stuck close to Joan at the next practice, and when Joan went back to their (shared) office, they found a yellow tulip on top of a post-it note with a small drawing of a double-headed snake.

#hockey au #coach joan #d ethan escarra #d #tw alcohol #i just keep imagining D dozing off in joans back seat #instinctively knowing that he was safe there

[illogicallyinclined]

oh, he could not break surface tension he looked in the wrong place for redemption

#jay draws #sorry this is so messy #i miss this boy (and yall) v much #so i drew the messiest little guy in the world #hope to come back soon but im also getting my ass BEAT in school so it'll probably be a minute #but such is life

[illogicallyinclined]

Self Love 2

Summary: In the aftermath, Thomas realizes that part of self-care is taking care of the people who care for him the most.  It’s time he learned to love the sides and give back just a little of what they’ve given him.

Tags: hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, rebuilding relationships

*

Logan is next.

Thomas is waving him over to the laptop even before he’s finished rising up.  

“Logan, Logan…” He’s laying it on a little thick, maybe, but he needs to catch Logan’s interest if this is going to work.  “Come look at this.”

Logan frowns but steps forward.  The creature undulates across the screen.  Something like a squid mixed with a ribbon, shimmering in shades of violent orange and deepest purple against the dark backdrop.  

“What is it?” Thomas asks, “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Logan takes a step back.  Adjust his glasses and clears his throat.  

“A blanket octopus,” he says.

And absolutely nothing else.

…this will be harder then Thomas thought.

“If that’s all…”

“Wait!” Logan pauses, and it’s the strangest thing, looking at someone half-submerged in the floor.  He rises slowly, making a show of huffing a sigh.

Thomas clicks over to the next video in the playlist.  The creature here is nearly white.  Perhaps not quite as otherworldly as the last, but the big flaps on the sides of its head make Thomas smile.  “What about this one?”

“A dumbo octopus.”  Logan crosses his arms and yeah…Thomas has his work cut out for him.  

He knows full well he’s earned it, this indifference.  They’ve shut Logan down time and time again. Belittled him, ignored him, pushed him aside.  Told him one day that he was valued only to shun him again the next, and Thomas knows mere assurances that this time they mean to do better won’t fix it.

He knows also from Patton that the other sides are also trying to fix the damage done.  Knows that Logan has been just as glacier, and again…who can blame him?

He lets Logan go only to summon him again a few days later.  This time the videos are of sunfish.  Manta rays, humpback whales, pink river dolphins.  He asks questions about what they eat, how they communicate.  Things that require more then a once word response.  But Logan’s answers are still clipped, perfunctory, and he never lets Thomas forget just how much he doesn’t want to be there.  

Thomas lets him go.  Summons him again. Flying fish, this time, and just why do they fly?  Is it to catch food, or to mate, or…?”

“…the reason is unknown, but current thinking is that it is likely an adaption to avoid predators.”  Logan pauses.  Hesitates, and Thomas’s stomach sinks with the reminder of just how much harm they- he- has inflicted.  “And they do not actually fly.  They use their pectoral fins to glide.”

It’s a start.

“You could just look these things up,” Logan reminds him the next time.  He’s agreed to sit, though stiffly and on the very edge of the chair.  “And I do not understand your sudden interest in marine lifeforms. Is this for an upcoming video?”

Thomas pauses the current vid (manatees floating chubby and serene.)  “I could look it up, sure,” he agrees, “But I like how you explain things.  And I’m interested because they’re interesting!”

It’s true, he realizes.  He might have started this for a different reason, but the longer it’s gone on the more Thomas has found himself genuinely enthralled.  It’s been a long time since he learned something new purely for the pleasure of knowing it.  

“…so you said they’re related to elephants?” he said, and hits play.

AAA

It happens slowly.  But little by little, Logan eases.  A little of the rigidity fades from his spine. He leans forward to squint at the things Thomas finds.  He asks questions of his own, and they look the answers up together.  

(Thomas has never quite understood how it works.  How sometimes Logan and the other sides know things that he does not.  He suspects they actually *don’t* know things that he doesn’t…they just have access to everything he’s forgotten, every random fact and half-absorbed lecture.  The thought makes him all too aware of how *dependent* they are on his choices.  

Logan lives to learn.  He thrives on it.  Feeds off of it, and Thomas has been letting him go hungry.)

The breakthrough happens when Thomas summons Logan late one night.  It’s well past midnight, and Thomas had been idly watching youtube, as one does. One of the random recommended videos caught his eyes, and now he’s nearly breathless with excitement as he turns the screen to share what he’s found.

“Look,” he hisses.  A deviation from the sea theme, a computer recreation of a creature that stalks tall and menacing but also gangling and downright bizarre.  The giant beak stabs down and catches something green and squalling.  “I hate it and I love it and I have to know everything.”

Logan makes a muted noise that catches in his throat.  Rises up on his toes and back down- a short of full body shimmy, very nearly a bounce.  

“Oh,” he says, and the excitement in it matches Thomas’ own.  “Quetzalcoatlus.  The largest flying pterosaur…”

“They flew?!” Thomas damn near squeals, and he tugs Logan down to sit on the bed beside him.  

Logan talks about wingspan and launching points and aerodynamics.  Soon he’s gesturing, and the monotone…gone entirely, and the life in his voice is a beautiful.  Logan’s eyes are shining, and it’s a lovely, lovely thing.

They sit shoulder to shoulder until the sun rises.

’Maybe we’ll do stars next week,” Thomas thinks, and smiles.

#logan #thomas #fic #platonic lomas

[illogicallyinclined]

tragic, really x

#hematology is kicking my ASS so obviously i had to give up on studying and scrawl out a meme #roman sanders #remus sanders #cursing #but only in tags

[illogicallyinclined]

analogical 🔛🔝 btw

#new video kicked my ass

[illogicallyinclined]

orange side:

logan: you need to Fucking Stop

all of the sides + Thomas: *are arguing about some stupid shit*

Logan: i think it's best if we -

Thomas: not right now, Logan

the orange side, in the back of Logan's mind:

#cursing

[illogicallyinclined]

all of the sides + Thomas: *are arguing about some stupid shit*

Logan: i think it's best if we -

Thomas: not right now, Logan

the orange side, in the back of Logan's mind:

#the only acceptable dynamic to me #cursing

[illogicallyinclined]

let him have control over his own anger! let him lash out of his OWN volition! let him FEEL something for once without some other side serving as a buffer, both so that HE has to acknowledge his emotions in their entirety and so that the other sides (+ Thomas) have to as well!!!!!!

thinking about it logically, i reckon that the orange side is his own separate entity (who just so happens to be able to exert his powers over the other sides). but i for one am So Sick of watching Logan be ignored (and SO Sick of watching him have his autonomy stripped away), that if it all comes down to him being "controlled" by another side, i am quite frankly gonna be peeved

#the ONLY way i would accept the orange side 'controlling' logan is if he ends up feeling things so potently that they lose control #like hes so mad the orange side cant even handle it

[illogicallyinclined]

thinking about it logically, i reckon that the orange side is his own separate entity (who just so happens to be able to exert his powers over the other sides). but i for one am So Sick of watching Logan be ignored (and SO Sick of watching him have his autonomy stripped away), that if it all comes down to him being "controlled" by another side, i am quite frankly gonna be peeved

#decided to make it an actual post because i have too many thoughts and opinions about it

[illogicallyinclined]

The worn-out me wasn’t good enough, huh x

#still thinking about this

[illogicallyinclined]

Android girl, I've gone out of my mind x

#got bodied by my anatomy final and am about to get bodied by my microbio final so i'm drawing logan to cope #logan sanders #jay draws

[illogicallyinclined]

back to my roots

(watching TV and thinking of how a sanders sides au would work)

#currently rewatching bleach because tybw was so hype #and trying to think of what weapons and special powers these losers would have #romans shikai definitely maifests as a sword and shield #remus's becomes a mace

[illogicallyinclined]

Name all your aus now

oof that's a hard one because i have a habit of making one-off au posts and then forgetting they exist

that said, the Hockey au is my Baby, but other AUs that i've touched on in any significant way are Orange Side Logan and the Disaster Trio AU (an au where remus, janus, and logan hit it off before janus was accepted by thomas)

#i had a one-off star trek au #a soulmate au with the disaster trio #uhh #among us au #au where logan is loved and appreciated #not sure if there were any other big ones tbh

[illogicallyinclined]

imagining hockey au Roman accidentally clipping the opposing goalie with his knee after scoring. he immediately waves off his teammates' attempts to celebrate so he can go check on the goalie himself, and the goalie is a bit aggravated (because being kneed in the chest -- even by mistake -- could piss of the most patient of goaltenders), but his anger is EXPEDIOUSLY replaced by a sense of flustered awe when he realizes that Roman is MAKING SURE HE'S ALRIGHT. (like. that's the Other Team's Captain, and he actually cares???? crazy. and okay he's, uhhhh, Kind of Hot, so there's that.)

meanwhile, Logan is watching the exchange from the other side of the rink and is ALSO getting flustered (even if he doesn't realize it at the moment), because there is Nothing more appealing than watching someone Incredibly Competent shrug off their own accomplishments and sense of pride to do the right thing

#hockey au #roman prince #logan crofter #logan feels his heart flutter and assumes its some midgame adrenaline thing #like lmao No youre actually falling in love idiot #but To Be Fair how was he supposed to know?

[illogicallyinclined]

a bit early, but happy birthday to the prettiest boy in the world

#logan sanders #jay draws #sorry this is so messy i have 1 billion assignments due this week and a midterm on monday