im-just-that-gay

[im-just-that-gay]

certified moon lover.

[im-just-that-gay]

It's always "I love you" and never "The moment your eyes met mine, I belonged to you, I was powerless. All that I am, all that I will be, belongs to you. Do with it what you will."

[im-just-that-gay]

Tiberius wishes everyone a blessed Samhain ✨️

#blessed samhain #the veil is thin #and so is my patience #happy halloweeeeeeen

[im-just-that-gay]

When a girl from tinder accuses you of ghosting for failing to text her for a day, so you text her everyday for a week and then try to set up a date but then she stops replying and ghosts you...

#had to use the Gwaine gif for the confused queer energy #wlw dating #the dating apps are a unique hellscape #lesbian dating drama #why do women #tinder nightmares #lgbtq community #wlw #lgbt

[im-just-that-gay]

"I, James, am neither a god nor an angel, but a man like any other. Therefore I act like a man and confess to loving those dear to me more than other men. You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more than you who are here, assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf and not to have it thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed. Christ had John, and I have George."

-King James Charles Stuart

#he also was a hypocrite who enforced very strict anti-sodomy laws #but this quote is the reason the king james bible exists and that is iconic #queer history #christ had john and I have george

[im-just-that-gay]

Our whole society would crumble without the unpaid labor and personal resources that teachers invest into the schools. It is an exploitative, thankless system that needs to be dismantled.

#why teachers quit #educational reform

[im-just-that-gay]

It's easier to love the memory of you than it was to love you.

That's an ugly sort of feeling.

#in love with a ghost #wlw #love quotes #creative writing #lgbt #relatable quotes

[im-just-that-gay]

12:36 am

I'm on my third drink

The picture you posted two days ago is at the top of my Instagram feed.

I liked it yesterday.

The algorithm is working against me and I'm still in love with your ghost.

#in love with a ghost #unrequited love #love quotes #poetry #queer poetry #wlw #third drink and i dont know why im still awake #i wrote when im drunk #ill delete this in the morning

[im-just-that-gay]

[im-just-that-gay]

I overheard a student use a homophobic slur in my class today. Obviously I wrote him up and told him he doesn't have more of a right to feel safe in this room than anyone else and I wouldn't tolerate his actions. Unfortunately, when he was trying to argue his case, he told me that another teacher in my building allowed him to use the slur in a class with an openly gay student. So now I'm put in the position, on the second to last day of school, to have to deal with that.

And it pisses me off that it's my proproblem. It pisses me off that this is just one instance in a long line of casually and outright homophobic comments I've overheard. It pisses me off that my students are in a school where they don't feel safe. It pisses me off that I, as the only openly gay teacher, am the one who has to deal with it. Where were my fellow educators? Where were the other adults who promised they would do right by these kids? And now I have to stare down an entirely conservative administration and convince them to take this seriously.

I'm exhausted. I'm done. I thought we, as humanity, had grown a but since I was in high school. But the same bigoted assholes I dealt with back then are teachers today. I feel like we failed, like I failed to make today safer than yesterday. I just don't know where to go from here.

#why teachers quit #teacher confessions #lgbt teachers #lgbtq community #keep kids safe

[im-just-that-gay]

The entitlement of teenagers in rich school districts is insane. I told you to do something three times and you got in trouble? Oh but you did nothing wrong. You used several slurs and managed to offend half of the people in this room in a matter of seconds? Oh but they're just words. You left school before it was over without telling anyone and got detention? Oh but the kid who works two jobs got to leave before his last period study hall so it's a double standard.

I cannot wrap my head around the mental gymnastics these kids do to make me the bad guy when they've broken every rule in the book, disrespected me and their peers, but somehow they're still innocent. They have lived such sheltered lives that at 16 they cannot begin to comprehend that their actions have consequences.

Give me the students that are neurodivergent and act out because the world isn't built for them and they're exhausted. Give me the kid who didn't sleep last night because they went from school to work and had a twelve page paper due the next day. Give me the kid who doesn't trust a thing I say because they walk into every room and have to assume it's not safe for them because that's all they've been taught. I understand those kids. I will fight for those kids. I was one of those kids.

But the kid who does everything in their power to drive me insane because he knows damn well he can get away with it and he thinks it's funny to watch me slowly lose my mind? I don't know what to do with that. I don't know how to make my classroom a safe space when all my attention goes to putting out his fires.

#why teachers quit #teacher confessions #teacher life #teacher problems #high school

[im-just-that-gay]

"I have to touch some moss about that". ♡

[im-just-that-gay]

I crawl into my ribcage and that is where I find you.

I walk along the ridges of healed fractures and remember where you touched me.

Lavender grows from the alabaster crevices and I think--

It was better to break.

It was good to know I could feel that much.

#in love with a ghost #excerpts from my writing #creative writing #writer #queer poetry #lesbian poets #poetic prose

[im-just-that-gay]

I etch my memories into paper to remind myself how much feeling my chest used to hold.

And it was good.

#in love with a ghost #writer #creative writing #wlw

[im-just-that-gay]

[im-just-that-gay]

SHOUT OUT TO EVERYONE WHO STILL TRIES TO GET BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS AFTER DEPRESSION HIT THEM HARD. THERE ISN’T ENOUGH RECOGNITION FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT THEY’RE GOING TO LOSE INTEREST AND MOTIVATION AGAIN BUT PUSH THEMSELVES TO DO STUFF ANYWAYS. YOU ARE FIGHTING A DAILY BATTLE WITH YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND YOU’RE STILL COMING OUT ON TOP, YOU’RE ALL BRAVE AS FUCK 

[im-just-that-gay]

I am in love with someone who doesn't exist.

Three years later and I know you've grown. You text me after months to ask about a philosopher I quoted once. You want to write about him in a paper. Three years ago you thought the philosophers I quoted were arrogant old men. Now you're studying classics and you know now that you had it right before. The thought makes me smile.

I am in love with a memory.

I still visit you some nights in my dreams. In the images my mind conjurs I can still smell you as you lay against my chest counting my heart's uneven beats. There, in my dreams, you are exactly as you were. You smell like warm vanilla and freshly dyed hair. There's a dull ache when I wonder if you still wear that same perfume, and I realize I might never get to know.

I am in love with a ghost.

I told you once that love meant watching someone die. It was a quote from a Death Cab for Cutie song. I don't know if I ever admitted that. I never thought this would be what the death of us would look like. Still awake four hours before my alarm is set to go off, wondering where you are in the world and if you ever wrote that paper. Wondering how life has shaped you in all the moments I've missed. Knowing that the girl I loved, the girl I still love, is no longer real. Knowing that I have changed too, and the girl I am now could have loved you better. If you met me today, would you love me again?

I am in love with all of our yesterdays.

And it is a special kind of agony knowing we will have no more tomorrows.

#ghost #memory #lost love #love quotes #wlw community #wlw love #wlw yearning #nostaliga #heartbreak #in love with a ghost