im-traumatised

[im-traumatised]

tiny stars necklace ✩

[im-traumatised]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to be a stressed adult male protagonist splashing water on his face in the bathroom

[im-traumatised]

Wings of The Morning (Detail), by Edward Robert Hughes.

[im-traumatised]

#little bear

[im-traumatised]

"being in the military is hard" theres harder things. Like telling my mom she was wrong about something

#mum

[im-traumatised]

Had a nightmare last night, think it's from spending all day yesterday having to think about my fathers death and siblings and shit for the paperwork.

But I was basicslly counting down to my inevitable death at a miserable party, surrounded by strangers everywhere drinking, dancing and ignoring me. My sister throwing up from being drunk, my mother feeling sorry for herself, my father doing more and more dramatic displays of his love without actually caring was simply for apperance, and none of my friends even showed up. I remember spending the whole dream thinking I just wish my friends where here instead, feeling like I was already dead and a forgotten. Then that fear was confirmed when they started all shoving me into a coffin with some other persons name on it, not even my fucking birth name or something.

#I wanna cry man #Worst fucking dream to have a big fear of mine shoved into my face like that #I wanna cry and throw up and hrrr #Just wanna finish the paoer work and be done with it but my psyc appointment got canceled #So in stuck searching for someone else who can sign as a witness and shit hrrr #aceofdragons #vent

[im-traumatised]

[im-traumatised]

[im-traumatised]

real

[im-traumatised]

[im-traumatised]

if i don’t talk to myself who will

[im-traumatised]

road 260124

#the farm

[im-traumatised]

“i am here”, 2018

[im-traumatised]

Uneven Quilts (Kantha)

#mum

[im-traumatised]

2019-05-01

#lavander

[im-traumatised]

“I still catch myself feeling sad about things that don’t matter anymore.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

[im-traumatised]

Spent the whole day filling out death benefits forms and shit and now I'm disociated as fuck and spiraling over everything to do with my siblings and parents ever aha

#Help the form asked for so many addresses and contact info and shit that I had no idea about #Had to google how to spell my mothers last name and kept forgetting what my older sisters name is #Had to do the maths using my own birthcertificate to figure my fathers birthday out #I like im hnnnn #Im tired im tired snd on edge and sad and weird i feel weird and weird and weird #Plus my wrist is fucking killing me ahhh #aceofdragons #vent #dad