imabeamerboyimadreamerboy

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

My Troth To You- KMH

As a treat I like to buy perfume in the scent "Sweet Pea"

It is in that bottle you and I are 12 again, One Direction is blaring from my Ipod in your bathroom, We do our makeup for fun, sometimes only to drink shitty wine on your roofs "Balcony"

Is that what one should call it? A ledge of brittle wood with no railing, only accessible by climbing out of your window.

I remember meeting you, band class, October.

Sat proud with my alto sax in front of me, You enter for the first day breaking your year long homeschooling streak, Mickey Mouse shirt and a bob. I thought you were weird, you were. You were loud, you never touched your juice until you finished your lunch, swore up and down that apple juice was superior to orange, your dad drives a semi and you owned pigs.

I want to know what that first chat was about, prior to meeting you I encountered AW, she showed up with MM and proclaimed they were staying the night, in other words making friends at that age is weird, at some point in the night I remember them making me a list before the school year started "People to be friends with, who not to be friends with, who to date and who to not date"

Did you make the list? Im so curious to this day.

I can play back our memories like a slide show.

You taught me so much, thank you for giving me the kindness you did and continue to do.

It has been 9 years, I love you the same as I loved you then.

You are my most vulnerable love, all of me has always been safe with you, there are no walls with you, no censoring, we must have been like this for a thousand years always finding each other in these lives.

When I feel the world is evil, I think of you. How can this all be bad when you exist? I wish you knew you were worth all the posts I have written about you over the years.

In all ways but romantic, you have always been my first love.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

over time

Almost every post ive made on here since i was 17 has been about a boy making me sad, something about tumblr is so perfect for this

its cool to look back and see all these posts about different ones, i feel like this is my little real life "to all the boys ive loved before"

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

“If you’re brave enough to say “goodbye” life will reward you with a new “hello”.”

— Paulo Coelho

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

If I could do it all again, I would stay up later. I would ask more questions, unashamed of how personal they were and not afraid that I wouldn't like the answers. If I could start over with you, I wouldn't doubt my instincts. I wouldn't fear what people thought if I catered to your every whim and laughed at every stupid joke. If I could try again, I would embrace every moment of every fight and ask for everything I needed from you. I wouldn’t worry if I was too needy, too attached, too much of anything. I would be myself more. I would scream louder. I wouldn’t of hesitated to tell you I love you, in every way, everyday. If I could do it again, I would not love you in halting steps always looking for some sort of validation that I was stepping on solid ground. I would jump into you and if you didn’t catch me, than I would still be picking up the same broken pieces I am now.

Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #214

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

I did this to me

My State I'D is expired, it has been for months. This stopped me from getting another permit. I am 20 year old and I dont have my license, I put myself in this spot. I am not in school, I have no idea what i want to do with my one life. I know I desperately want out of this house, it is not because I am unhappy it is just that ive been here for two years.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

i wish i knew you. i so desperately ache for the person who will make me feel alive. The story book kind of love.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

I hate that im still so mad at you, you have changed. You are so perfect to me, I just want to be with you always.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

im the bad guy now

Our relationship ended when you showed me what was on your phone that night, its been a year, im starting to hate you im so sorry for dragging this out

#fuck love #quotes #love #emo #shit post #loveyourself #love on tour #love quotes #love poetry #love island #lovelife #feelings #loving #relationship #relationshipgoals #heartbreak #heartache #heart and soul #heartbeat #my heart #heartcore #mind #feeling #hand #breath #sad boy #sadnees #sadcore #sadgirl #saddle

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

if you give me any vibes that you don’t want to talk to me, i will fucking disappear.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

i don’t leave people, im the friend who will send you a paragraph on your birthday right at midnight. sometimes it backfires, but it’s worth it. for every person i have or have lost, i tried my best.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

value in your smile and not in your values

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

i have dreams, everyone i love or miss knows it.

i must find peace in this, for some things i can not change.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

my trust for people is in SHREDS BITCH lol

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

quarantine hits different when you don’t live with siblings or have any close friends to talk too

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

every person i miss badly, is fully aware of it.

and i think that makes it even harder.

[imabeamerboyimadreamerboy]

don’t trust people it’s a trap