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It’s been awhile
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I am cursed forever to romanticize the silence
I put whispers into the absences of flesh
I am cursed to read words written in thin air
I put thoughts into the empty corners
Plagued by a talkative mind
Betrayed by a normal boring life
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I live in a world where I am constantly and consistently misunderstood.
I speak a string of sentences and bouts of words that will never reach the ears of those around me.
Instead they will interpret an entirely different narrative- one that doesn't remotely make sense to me.
How could you hear those things and say they left my lips? Never have I tasted such a foul sentence... but you'll believe it was me.
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Mamma im a little scared
Theyre trying to murder the youth.
Mamma im a little worried,
That they won't stop there
And they'll come for us too..
Mamma im a little frightened,
What do I do when its not safe for me to exist?
Mamma im so terrified,
Because I can't go back in time
And change my mind to save my life.
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Oh, sweet boy
Sweet silly little fool.
You won't receive love letters and flowers,
Sweet little creature,
Take this shiny token and be merry.
Now shower them with all the things you desire
As this is your creative purpose.
You are so kind and gentle,
Sweet and loving giant.
Now give give give give
And give until your soul caves in,
Craving the passions you hand out.
When is it your turn?
Sweet little fool,
Sweet dumb boy.
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I want to slip into sweet dreams
Without battling panic attacks
Worrying if I might die.
If these were my last moments
How would they be spent?
Oh God this is gunna hurt,
I sure hope not.
Please, let me sleep.
This isn't real
Im not dying
Just let me
Sleep.
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Do you miss the sound of my voice?
Honey washing over you in a sticky embrace.
Have you talked to her lately?
She will tell you its not true but she's missing you
Silly what a little distance can do
But you've got things in your hometown
Keeping you from calling late at night.
Im just wondering if its a choice
Or if maybe we were a little too late?
Have you've gone and sealed your fate with another lover
Who wants to keep you locked away?
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don't look at me like that
You know it makes me melt.
Don't look at me like that
You know i can't help myself.
Tender glances and silent exchanges
You make my cheeks flush and my heart race.
Invisible chains and unseen walls
Seperate our aching hands from touching.
Why-
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Stranded in a closet,
Shifting through cleaning supplies.
Something is glistening,
Something has caught my eye.
There you are just staring-
Ignite a fire deep inside.
Suddenly im wrapped up in darkness
Seeking out little white lies.
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Breathe out my name
As an after thought
Soft and hush without a care.
Breathe out my name
Let it fall off your tongue
Just enough to recognize the hum.
Breathe out my name
Please won't you just say it, my love
Please just say my name please just recognize please just
Breathe out my name.
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Strong and soft kisses.
Excited and hungry mouths
try to swallow each other as
our tongues dance and graze
in passing behind white gates.
Body to body i can feel your throbbing
as my hips crush yours against a car.
Strong and soft hands
caress your porcelain cheek
and leaves behind heat to evaporate
in the cool night air.
Let it replay in my head over and over and over again.
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Exhausted from wasting so much space
I couldn't do anything right even if I tried
Let me keep you up late
Let me waste your time
Watch innocence cowar in my presence
Watch him run and hide
Let me keep you up late
Let me waste your time
Watch me fumble watch me fall
Watch me go and ruin it all
Let me keep you
Let me keep you.
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Damn this herb got me acting brave,
Must be doing something to my brain
Giving me lines and things to say
To get them to want to scream my name
Damn, this has me acting like a little boy
Wishing someone would want to enjoy
My company- a little bit of time you see
Waste it away wrapped up in my sheets
Silk and linen push your body into me
Slide your hand down my chest and feel
My company.
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I think its because of my family,
Yaknow, I think they're the reason I struggle so hard to accept the words of others...
They will talk up a big big game yaknow,
And never follow through.
So forgive me if I struggle to believe or accept anything you say.
Its because I have been left in the dark for so long.
Still even, to this day.
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My drafts are filthy.
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Let me hold your waist,
Let my hands wrap around your hips and pull you closer onto me,
Let me hold your hair,
Grab it by the fistful and pull your eyes to the cielling as I whisper sweet sweet nothings into your neck,
Can you feel my hot breathe
As it begins to caress your sticky wet skin.
Let me slide my hands
Down your back and rest at the small of your waist, as I support your lower back we can begin the race,
Will you win?
Will you arrive before me?
God i hope
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