When I’m starving, the void in my chest fills up and I feel a little more whole than I did before. I’m not as concerned with how skinny I can look, but I’m more so in love with the feeling of whithering away and becoming weightless. Something about that is so comforting to me. A wonderful idea of my existence fading away or becoming so small that maybe the monsters won’t notice me anymore.
I try to treat others the way I wish I had been treated while growing up. I treat myself the way my parents treated me. Unforgiving, never enough, underserving. I can forgive and do forgive anyone for anything but never can I forgive myself.
I love who I am when I’m high. I’m an achiever, motivated, the best listener, full of optimistic advice and genuine deep caring. I become a better version of my natural self.
Drugs on drugs on drugs, I’m doing my best to slow down my habits though
I try my best
I feel like I’m bothering everyone right now by existing
Happy birthday mom, we haven’t spoken in years and the last you ever said was that I was dead to you but every year on this day I remember you and dear god.. does it bring me down. You could have just told me goodbye.
So high I can’t even focus
Don’t ask me to make up my mind, there’s too many of us
Every day I will spend high because I miss you and I wish that I could undo you ever meeting me. I will love you from the day I meet you. I have ruined your life . I will love you while we fight. I will love you while you are in prison. I will love you even long after you learn to hate me.
I’m just really good at fucking up everything. I don’t even directly try too that’s the crazy part
This is as bad as my depression gets
I just want to get high
It’s finally that time of the year again where Texas tries to kill me with humidity and heat. I’m trying not to complain anymore in preparation for fasting but I’m really not thrilled for the chronic fatigue and body pains from this agonizing weather.