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immiamarais · 5 months
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I’m sorry friends, but “just google it” is no longer viable advice. What are we even telling people to do anymore, go try to google useful info and the first three pages are just ads for products that might be the exact opposite of what the person is trying to find but The Algorithm thinks the words are related enough? And if it’s not ads it’s just sponsored websites filled with listicles, just pages and pages of “TOP FIFTEEN [thing you googled] IMAGINED AS DISNEY PRINCESSES” like… what are we even doing anymore, google? I can no longer use you as shorthand for people doing real and actual helpful research on their own.
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immiamarais · 5 months
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tampons and pads should be provided free in all public restrooms
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Boog Open Season
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immiamarais · 8 months
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refseek.com
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www.worldcat.org/
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link.springer.com
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http://bioline.org.br/
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repec.org
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science.gov
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pdfdrive.com
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immiamarais · 9 months
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im having a moment
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immiamarais · 9 months
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kids remind me, often, of the things i've taught myself out of.
i have a big dog. he looks like a deer. he is taller than most young children. while we were on a trail the other day, a boy coming our direction saw us and froze. he took a step back and said: "i'm feeling nervous. your - your dog is kind of big."
goblin and i both stopped walking immediately. "he is kind of a big dog," i admitted. "he's called a greyhound. they are gentle but they are pretty tall, which is kind of scary, you're right. their legs are so long because they are made for running fast. i am sorry we scared you. would you like us to stand still while you move past us, or would you feel more safe in your body if we move and you stay still?'
"oh. i didn't know that about - greyhounds. i think i ... i want to stay still," he said. at this point, his adult had caught up to us. "i'm nervous about the dog," he told her, "so i'm - i'm gonna stay still." she didn't argue. she didn't make fun of him. she just smiled at him and at me and held his hand while goblin and i, with as wide of a berth as we could make, crept our way through.
behind us, i heard him exhale a deep breath and kind of laugh - "he was really big, huh? she said it's because greyhounds have to go fast."
"he was big," she said. "i understand why that could have made you a little scared."
"yeah. next time i - next time do you think i could maybe ask to touch him? when - i mean, next time, maybe, if i'm not nervous."
later, going to a work event, in the big city, i stood outside, trembling. my social anxiety as a caught bird in my chest. i took a deep breath and turned to my coworker. she's not even really my friend yet. i told her: "i feel nervous about this. i am not used to meeting new people, ever since covid."
she laughed, but not in a mean way. she said she was nervous too. she reached her hand out and held mine, and we both took another deep breath and walked in like that, interlinked. a few people asked us - together? - and i told the truth: i feel nervous, and she's helping. over and over i watched people relax too, admitting i feel really kind of shy lately actually, thank you for saying that.
the next time i go to an event, and i feel a little scared, i ask right away: wanna hold hands? this feels a little dangerous. i hesitate less. i don't hide it as much. i watch for other people who are also nervous and say - it's kinda hard, huh?
i know, logically, i'm not good at asking for help. but i am also not good at noticing when i need help. i've trained myself out of asking completely, but i've also trained myself to never accept my own fears or excuses. i have trained myself to tamp down every anxiety and just-push-through. i don't know what i'm protecting myself from - just that i never think to admit it to anyone.
but every person on earth occasionally needs comfort. every person on earth occasionally needs connection. many of us were taught independence is the same thing as never needing anything.
each of us should have had an adult who heard - i feel nervous and held our hand and asked us how we could be helped to feel safe. no judgement, and no chiding. many of us did not. many of us were punished for the ways that we seemed "weak".
but here is something: i am an adult now. and i get nervous a lot, actually. and if you are an adult and you are feeling a little nervous - come talk to me. we can hold hands and figure out what will help us feel safe in our bodies. and maybe, next time, if we're brave, we can pet the dog that's passing.
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immiamarais · 10 months
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Recognizing Abuse Masterlist
Signs that you’re living in abuse:
Behavioral patterns of living in abuse
Was I abused? Checklist
Not knowing you are a victim
Signs your family is abusive
Making excuses for your abusive parents
Experience of living in secrecy
What they taught you was abuse
Emotional experiences of living in abuse
Shame and guilt: how abused children feel
What makes parents abusers (actions)
Have I been manipulated into believing abuse was my fault? Checklist
Am I being held hostage by abusers? Checklist
You are not allowed to mention the past
Why you still love abusive parents
Parental behaviour that isn’t normal
Shit parents aren’t supposed to say to you
Experience of “not belonging anywhere”
Red flags for abusive parents
Healthy vs Abusive Chores
Was my childhood abusive or just had some bad parts?
Rules always change (unpredictable environment is abusive)
Breakdown of abusive parent’s behaviour:
“This is my house” rule
Start living in the real life!
Why all the children aren’t abused equally in an abusive home
Common abuser hypocrisies
Do your parents want you to be happy or look happy?
Why do they try to convince you that you’re worthless
Why do they pretend you’re a burden? Controlling behaviour
Why your abusers are not good people
Abusive parents are keeping you in false hope they’ll change
Are your parents preventing you from succeeding?
Abusive parents pretending “it wasn’t that bad”
Double Bind (why every choice you make ends wrong)
Incorporating trauma in raising children
Abusers will not allow you to call them out on abuse
Signs your parents are narcissistic:
Stuff delusional narcissists say
Shit narcissistis parents say
Recognizing emotional immaturity of narcissistic parents
Examples of narcissistic behaviours
Being punished for growing up by narcissistic parents
What children of narcissists go thru
Signs you’ve been thru sexual abuse:
CSA (Childhood Sexual Abuse) Symptoms
Signs you might have endured CSA
Was I sexually abused by adults as a child? Checklist
Signs of abusive friendship/relationship:
How to tell if a friend is not a friend
Am I in an abusive relationship/friendship? Checklist
Manufacturing insecurities
Red flags for abusers
Have I been thru social abuse? Checklist
You can recognize abusers by how they make you feel
How abusive childhood teaches you to stay in abusive relationships
Recognizing abusive friendship
Signs you’re struggling with trauma
Trauma processing information
Experiences of traumatized children
Signs you’re recovering from long term abuse
Things abuse survivors think/say
Thoughts of victims of child abuse
Your brain on trauma
How long term childhood abuse develops into complex trauma (comic)
Ups and downs of trauma
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immiamarais · 10 months
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society is jumping the gun big time why the fuck are we developing AI and robots and shit brother we don't even have printers or vacuums that aren't dogshit CAN we dial it back
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immiamarais · 10 months
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Kakashi + Ninken w/ some craft paint i found.
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immiamarais · 10 months
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whatever i literally dont care 😎 <- cares so much that it feels like my organs are tearing themselves apart in my chest
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immiamarais · 10 months
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“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state
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immiamarais · 11 months
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not naming names but some of you are genuinely really good people and i hope that you get everything your heart wants and needs
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immiamarais · 11 months
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lil jason!
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immiamarais · 1 year
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The first con of the year! I’ll be at Gold Coast Supanova this weekend at booth #78! Come say hi 
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immiamarais · 1 year
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i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over
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immiamarais · 1 year
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yeah they dropped a new love language. yeah a sixth one. its biting
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immiamarais · 1 year
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*visibly shaking* has anybody else noticed how beautiful everything is?
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immiamarais · 1 year
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dear teacher sory i did not do your assignment.unfortu nately i have Died FOREVER!!!!!!! ok i will see u tmrw
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