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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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*after Led Tasso*
Ted: I think we finally went too far this time.
Beard: You should have thought of that before we started.
Ted: I was busy going too far!
67 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Rebecca: How do I get out of the friend zone?
Keeley: Oh my god, who put you there, bestie?
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Keeley: Do I look like Ted to you?
Rebecca: What? No!
Keeley: I SAID DO I LOOK LIKE TED TO YOU
Rebecca: NO!!!
Keeley: THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREW ME???
Rebecca: Oh my GOD KEELEY
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Jamie: Be careful with my emotional baggage. It’s designer.
Keeley: You genuinely concern me.
Keeley: All the time.
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Keeley: I get paid enough to pretend to be either helpful or heterosexual.
Keeley: If people want both, then I’m going to need a raise.
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Dani: I have no idea what I’m doing.
Dani: I just know I’m doing it really well!
38 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Rebecca: Nora, why are you drinking coffee?! It’s midnight, and you’re fourteen!
Nora: Time is an allusion. You just don’t understand.
Nora: Also, I haven’t finished my homework that’s due tomorrow.
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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*hungover*
Richard: I feel like my brain is an IKEA catalogue.
Sam: How do you mean?
Richard: It feels like everything is written in Swedish, but I barely speak Swedish.
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Jamie: Do you think bananas have feelings?
Roy: You know, there’s a lot of things I regret.
Roy: And right now, this friendship is one of them.
Jamie: …
Jamie: But do they?
67 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Beard: You forgot to run the dishwasher again, didn’t you?
Ted: *drinking from a vase* What makes you think that?
55 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Roy: I want to talk to you about something?
Keeley: Okay.
Roy: Well, I have recently discovered that you’re single…
Keeley: *nods*
Roy: And I’m single…
Keeley: Yep.
Roy: And I was wondering if you wanted to… single together…
Roy: Romantically
87 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Higgins: How do you plan on explaining your way out of this one?
Ted: Verbally, because judging from the look on Rebecca’s face, the musical number I prepared isn’t going to work.
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Keeley: I’m no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everybody else.
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Ted: If y’all don’t play ‘Another One Bites the Dust’ at my funeral, are you really my friends?
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inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Rebecca: I pretend to like people every day. That’s part of being an adult.
Rebecca: That’s why we’re allowed to buy alcohol.
57 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Nate: You’re toast!
Will: Oh, yeah? You and what toaster?
38 notes · View notes
inc-ted-blasso · 2 years
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Keeley: I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.
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