incorrect--shakespeare-quotes

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Sorry for the dropoff, I got cast in my school's play but rehearsals are really kicking my ass, I should be able to fill the queue this weekend!

#not a quote #mod banq

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

*Benedick is cooking*

Claudio: Any chance that’s for me?

Benedick: It’s for Beatrice. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need her on my side.

Hero: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #much ado about nothing #benedick #beatrice #hero #claudio

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Fabian, setting down a card: Ace of spades

Sir Andrew, pulling out an Uno card: +4

Sir Toby, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you

Malvolio, trembling: What are we playing

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #the twelfth night #twelfth night #sir toby belch #sir andrew aguecheek #fabian #malvolio

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Ariel: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Prospero: *turning to Caliban* How tall are you?

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #the tempest #ariel #caliban #prospero

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Prospero: I know you snuck out last night, Miranda.

Ariel: Play dumb!

Miranda: Who's Miranda?

Ariel: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #the tempest #ariel #miranda #prospero

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Hamlet: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Ophelia: Oh, you’ve been?

Hamlet: Once. In Monopoly

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #hamlet (play) #hamlet #ophelia

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Kent: God, give me patience.

Fool: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Kent: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #king lear #kent #fool

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Horatio: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Hamlet: *chugs entire bottle*

Hamlet: It’s perfume.

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: john mulaney #incorrect shakespeare quote #hamlet (play) #hamlet #horatio

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Hamlet: Horatio! My face is on fire!

Horatio: Hamlet! Are you ok?!

Hamlet: Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Horatio: But your face is on fire.

Hamlet: Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #hamlet (play) #hamlet #horatio

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Goneril: If you had to choose between Edgar and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Edmund: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Edgar: Edmund!

Goneril: 63 cents.

Edmund: I'll take the money.

Edgar: EDMUND!!!

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #king lear #edgar #edmund #goneril

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Orsino: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful?

Olivia: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

(source: tumblr) (twelfth night)

#submission #shakespeare #incorrect quote #source : tumblr #incorrect shakespeare quote #twelfth night #olivia #orsino #thanks so much!!

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Prospero: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Ferdinand: I don’t know how to do that.

Miranda: I don’t wear a watch.

Ariel: Time is a construct.

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #the tempest #prospero #ariel #miranda #ferdinand

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Benvolio: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Mercutio: Okay, but in my defense, Tybalt bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Benvolio: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #romeo and juliet #mercutio #benvolio

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Feste: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Malvolio: *turning to Sir Toby* How tall are you?

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #twelfth night #malvolio #feste #sir toby belch

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Kent please come to the front desk?

Kent, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Edgar and Fool*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Edgar and Fool, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Kent: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #king lear #edgar #fool #kent

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Malvolio: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Feste: We got spring water

Malvolio: NO.

Sir Toby: with EXTRA minerals

Feste: it's like licking a stalagmite

Malvolio: DON'T COME HOME.

Sir Toby: Mmmmm cave water

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #twelfth night #sir toby belch #feste #malvolio

[incorrect--shakespeare-quotes]

Benedick: Must be hard not being able to laugh

Beatrice: I do have a sense of humor you know

Benedick: I’ve never heard you laugh before

Beatrice: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

#shakespeare #incorrect quote #source: generator #incorrect shakespeare quote #much ado about nothing #benedick #beatrice