Hammerlock, thinking: Oh. It's 4:30 in the morning and I'm wide awake.
Hammerlock, still thinking, but now also looking at Wainwright sleeping by his side: Oh, how sweetly and soundly he's sleeping! Must... cuddl..e......
Hammerlock, thinking more still: No, no, categorically not! His alarm won't ring for hours yet! I cannot possibly ruin his rest!
Hammerlock, thinking yet more still, and shaking like a wet skag: Must.... not...... touch. Must not.... touch.
Wainwright, eyes still closed: I can feel you movin' around, y'know.
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FL4K, holding a baby skag: Look at this adorable guy!
FL4K: I'm gonna call him Charles... after the guy he was eating when I found him.
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Jack: Everyone's like, "Find a therapist! Find a therapist!"
Jack: Therapists should be fighting each other to the death to see who gets a peek inside my beautiful mind.
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Hammerlock: Predatory single-celled organisms are quite peculiar.
Hammerlock: Creatures exist which have no brains or eyes, but just enough awareness to observe their surroundings, and scoop up nearby prey.
Hammerlock: My braincells all act like such, too.
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Moxxi: Go see the girls in the back room. It's on me.
Timothy: Girls?
Janey: Yep. Moxxi runs a house of ill repute in back.
Timothy: Ill? You mean a hospital?
Janey: I mean a cathouse.
Timothy: A pet store?
Janey: A brothel.
Timothy: A soup kitchen?!
Janey: Yeah... A soup kitchen.
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[after finding out Athena is taking a vacation]
Fiona: Does that mean I'm gonna be the team leader?
Athena: No, Sasha will outrank you. You're right below Vaughn and just above Rhys.
Sasha: You rank us?
Fiona: And I'm below Vaughn?
Vaughn: That's crazy, I'm the worst.
Athena: It's that kind of self-awareness that keeps you a notch above Rhys and Fiona.
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Octavio: I got diagnosed with cool guy syndrome yesterday, haha!
Octavio: So now I take Adderall, haha!
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Hammerlock: I love ridiculously impractical, silly, frivolous things!
Wainwright: I like simple, pragmatic, 'n useful things.
Hammerlock: The only purely pragmatic and practical thing I like is you.
Wainwright: And vice versa.
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Tyreen: Hey everybody, today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down.
Tyreen: The benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less.
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Janey: You need to go to the hospital.
Timothy: I wish! Hyperion health insurance only covers visits to the 'hopsital'.
Timothy: That's a hospital for bunny rabbits.
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[helping Salvador sort out his finances]
Maya: Well, looks like we have some actual receipts here. Same amount every month. 140 bucks. What's this?
Salvador: Every 30 days, I buy shotgun shells and cigarettes and send them home to my mom.
Gaige: [laughs] That's so sweet.
Axton: Your mom sounds kickass.
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[the Crimson Raiders are fighting over a loot box]
Tina: How about we play Rock, Paper, Murder for it? Let me get a knife.
Roland: I'm sure we can figure this out without Tina killing every single one of us.
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Hammerlock: I think you're perfect, darling.
Wainwright: Even if I like country?
Hammerlock: Ugh, I forgot about the country thing.
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Claptrap: Murder and betrayal? That sounds like something you'd be into.
Jack: It does, and if I'm into it, what's to stop me from forcing Angel to do it? Child services? Ha!
Jack: If they didn't take her away after the alligator incident, I think it's pretty clear they ain't never comin' for Big Daddy Jack's bouncin' bambino.
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[after finding out Rhys is moving to Promethea]
Fiona: I'm gonna be so sad to see you go... because I finagled my way onto your family phone plan, and when you leave, that all goes away for me.
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Timothy: I've signed up for Hyperion's 401k but I'm a little nervous... I've never run that far before.
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Athena: I don't understand why so many straight people settle romantically. Your dating pool is literally the entire universe and you settle for Handsome Jack?
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