incorrectbatfam

incorrectbatfam

The unofficial Batfam Buzzfeed

馃敻Incorrect quotes, headcanons, and more! 馃敻Feel free to use any of my posts in art, fanfiction, etc. as long as it's SFW and proper credit is given馃敻DMs are always open for beta-reading and other fandom or writing help馃敻Discord invite code: dw7NEya馃敻Ao3: incorrectbatfam馃敻Other fandom blog: @incorrect-team-miraculous 馃敻Art blog: @princess-tigerlily馃敻20, she/her, USA馃敻Header is mine, icon is by @vipadafai

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incorrectbatfam14 hours agoChat
Cullen: I can鈥檛 believe you live nearby and you won鈥檛 let anyone crash at your place.
Jason: You people already know too much about me.
Cullen: I know exactly three facts about you and one of them is that you won鈥檛 let any of us crash at your place.
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incorrectbatfam3 days agoChat
Damian: I鈥檓 adopting a blue whale and keeping it in my bathtub.
Arthur: Damian, blue whales can grow over one hundred feet.
Damian: Clearly you haven鈥檛 seen my bathtub.
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incorrectbatfam7 days agoChat
Stephanie, slamming a package onto the kitchen counter: I got the steak from the freezer.
Bruce: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Stephanie: It was under a chocolate pie.
Bruce: So you ate your way through it?
Stephanie: I made a judgment call. You weren鈥檛 there.
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incorrectbatfam7 days agoAnswer

Headcanons for the Justice League watching the Batfamily?

  • Diana is the only JL member who can keep the batkids in line
  • Barry was supposed to babysit alone, but Bart and Wally tagged along and that鈥檚 how they wound up ordering $600 worth of pizza
  • Zatanna keeps them entertained with magic tricks
  • Hal threatens to construct a giant cage around to Manor to keep them from sneaking out
  • Oliver tries to cook them chili, but Dinah stops him
  • Arthur cries when he finds Alfred鈥檚 recipe for calamari
  • In the beginning, J鈥檕nn tells the kids if they don鈥檛 behave, he鈥檒l send them to Mars. That backfired and everyone started behaving as badly as possible because they want to go to Mars
  • Plastic Man plays hide-and-seek with them
  • Clark brings his kids along and it goes great until he finds Kon dangling Tim from a hundred feet over a tiny trampoline with Damian and Jon cheering from below
  • In hindsight, leaving Billy to babysit wasn鈥檛 a great idea…
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incorrectbatfam7 days agoAnswer

DC has been awful to Damian recently. Can we have some fluffy/sweet headcanons for him pls? 🥺

How about some October-themed ones for the season?

  • Damian cut holes in a sheet and drapes it over Titus. He sends his聽鈥済host dog鈥 to bother his siblings when he鈥檚 not home
  • He and Carrie worked for 48 hours straight to engineer a night vision setting on her glasses, all so they can catch and keep the possum in their yard
  • His first time carving pumpkins was at Kent farm, where he and Jon found one the size of a small car and created an elaborate fantasy battle scene. Meanwhile, Lois melted some wax into a giant candle to properly light it up at night
  • For spooky month, Damian helped Kate decorate her motorcycle to look like Ghost Rider鈥檚 because she needed an artist鈥檚 opinion. Duke wanted in so they decorated his too
  • He and Bruce went as Batman and Robin (Damian as Batman, Bruce as Robin) to a father-son costume contest and won first place
  • He made tiny peanut butter聽鈥渃andies鈥 and took them to the animal shelter, where the employees had dressed the animals up for trick-or-treating
  • Jason taught Damian the fine art of TP-ing… on Commissioner Gordon鈥檚 house. Babs threatened to snitch, but they bribed her with licorice and chocolate coffee beans
  • Dick and Damian set up a聽鈥渉aunted hallway鈥 in the Manor. Anyone who wanted to get to their rooms had to endure: Dick in a Pennywise costume, several grotesque drawings, jack-o-lanterns with sinister smiles, mesh cobwebs, Titus the Ghost Dog, and Damian stroking their calves with asparagus taped to his fingers from behind a potted plant
  • He made a TikTok of Alfred the Cat dancing to Spooky Scary Skeletons
  • Damian and Harper went straight to Home Depot after watching Texas Chainsaw
  • Cullen, Cass, and Damian made a human pyramid so they could hang fake spiders in hard-to-reach places
  • Tim and Kon wound up chaperoning Damian and Jon when they went trick-or-treating. They flew to Star City because Oliver Queen gives out mega-king-sized candy bars
  • He helped Alfred decorate the Halloween sugar cookies. Their biggest challenge was keeping Steph out of the kitchen. Damian doesn鈥檛 even use a spray bottle on the cat, but he鈥檒l gladly use it on her
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incorrectbatfam8 days agoChat
Kon: Can we go home already? Tim's getting chilly.
Tim, shivering: N-n-no I'm n-not!
Cassie: Then why are you wearing Kon's jacket?
Tim: Because it's flattering!
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incorrectbatfam9 days agoChat
Talia: A store-bought pie? What am I, from Les Mis? I bet you would like me to serve a store-bought pie at my pristine luncheon, Lois, I bet you would love that!
Damian: Why don't you just use the store-bought pie?
Talia: For the same reason your father and I didn't have our first date at Chuck-E-Cheese, Damian. Because we're not slobs in this house!
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incorrectbatfam9 days agoAnswer

Dick trying to bond with Jason headcanons?

  • Okay, so Jason鈥檚 not the easiest to bond with
  • Scratch that
  • Darkseid is easier to bond with
  • But is Dick a quitter?
  • Almost, but not quite
  • He tries everything. And by that I mean everything
  • He invites Jason to a family dinner. Jason only shows up for Alfred鈥檚 cooking and Ace but doesn鈥檛 talk to anyone
  • He tries to meet Jason on patrol, but Jason disappears into some obscure back alley
  • 鈥淛ason, my man, we should check out that new movie鈥
  • 鈥淣o鈥
  • 鈥淗eeey Lil鈥 Wing. Guess who got two tickets to the Knights game鈥
  • 鈥淚鈥檓 busy鈥
  • 鈥淲hat about the arcade? You used to love the arcade鈥
  • 鈥淜eyword: used to鈥
  • 鈥淲anna talk about your feelings?鈥
  • 鈥淔*ck off鈥
  • Dick consults everyone. He consults Bruce, Alfred, Leslie Thompkins, even Roy, but to no avail
  • Then, one Tuesday afternoon…
  • 鈥淒amian, tell your friend to quit using the window鈥
  • 鈥淭t, it鈥檚 more efficient鈥
  • 鈥淔ine, whatever, I鈥檒l be in the cave if you need me鈥
  • Five minutes later…
  • 鈥淲hat are you kids doing down here? It鈥檚 too early for patrol鈥
  • 鈥淭t, bold of you to assume we鈥檙e going on patrol鈥
  • 鈥淲e鈥檙e gonna play laser dodgeknives. It鈥檚 like dodgeball but with lasers and knives鈥
  • Dick pinches the bridge of his nose
  • 鈥淲hy would you want to do that?鈥
  • 鈥淚t鈥檚 his favorite鈥
  • After several minutes and even more near-stabbings, Dick manages to confiscate the blades and convince them to play a board game instead
  • As he works through the case files, he can鈥檛 stop thinking about what Superboy said earlier鈥鈥淚t鈥檚 his favorite鈥
  • And it hit him
  • The whole time, he鈥檚 been trying to force Jason into a box that wasn鈥檛 him. He was thinking in terms of family, brothers, do-good heroes
  • He needs to get on Jason鈥檚 level
  • He needs to think like an Outlaw
  • So he swings by Jason鈥檚 latest safe house鈥攖hose things are an open secret鈥攁nd by a stroke of luck, Jason is there alone
  • 鈥淲hat do you want, Dickhead?鈥
  • 鈥淥h, nothing,鈥 he says, twirling a revolver on his finger
  • Jason鈥檚 eyes widen.聽鈥淚s that a 1941 Webley Mark IV? Where the hell did you get that?鈥
  • 鈥淭his thing?鈥 Dick asks.聽鈥淎lfie had it lying around. He mentioned something about… taking out a dozen Italian spies?鈥
  • 鈥淐an I try it out?鈥
  • 鈥淗m… I don鈥檛 see why not鈥
  • So they run around Gotham, playing with Alfred鈥檚 gun, sticking the finger to cops, and swinging by Jason鈥檚 favorite bar and Dick lets his brother order 鈥渢he usual鈥. They cross under the bridge and mark their territory with a spray can someone left behind. They walk through the Batburger drive-thru and order one of everything. They air their grievances Batman grievances on the tops of skyscrapers, where no one but God and the wind could hear them. They talk about anything and everything and at some points, nothing, and they relish each other鈥檚 presence for the first time in a long time
  • At the end of the night, they find themselves with a stack of library books, nestled between two evergreens by the cemetery, silently reading Shakespeare and Austen
  • The first rays of dawn peeked through the Gotham smog and Bruce calls, asking where they are
  • Jason snuffs out his cigarette
  • 鈥淭his never happened鈥
  • Dick nods.聽鈥淢y lips are sealed鈥
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incorrectbatfam11 days agoChat
Dick: Alright, get up.
Jason: What?
Dick: Get up. You're in my seat.
Jason: How is this your seat?
Dick: Because I was sitting there.
Jason: But then you got up.
Dick: It's not like I went to Spain! That's the last place I was sitting. You knew I was coming back!
Jason: *points to the bathroom*
Jason: Technically, the last place you were sitting was in there, so...
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incorrectbatfam12 days agoChat
Damian: What have you gathered on the case?
Jon: Well, here's a list of all the suspects I've obtained.
Damian: Kent, your name is on this list.
Jon: I can't remember where I was last Saturday, therefore I have no abili. I've been trailing myself for days.
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incorrectbatfam14 days agoAnswer

what's your take on that comic where Selina won talia in a sword fight and who do you think is superior btw Selina' and Talia?

1) I haven鈥檛 seen that comic

2) They鈥檙e equally competent in different ways. Pitting them against each other is dumb and a tired, sexist trope

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