incorrectbatfam

incorrectbatfam

The unofficial Batfam Buzzfeed

🔸Incorrect quotes, headcanons, and more! 🔸Feel free to use any of my posts in art, fanfiction, etc. as long as it's SFW and proper credit is given🔸DMs are always open for beta-reading and other fandom or writing help🔸Discord invite code: dw7NEya🔸Ao3: incorrectbatfam🔸Other fandom blog: @incorrect-team-miraculous 🔸Art blog: @princess-tigerlily🔸20, she/her, USA🔸Header is mine, icon is by @vipadafai

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incorrectbatfam·13 hours agoAnswer

Theatre/ arts/ lit related jayroy headcannons?

  • Roy finds a skull on a crime scene. Jason picks it up and starts reciting Hamlet
  • Whenever a play is in town, Roy buys two tickets and goes to Jason with excuses like “Kory said she’s busy” or “Lian has school tomorrow” because he’s too awkward and stubborn to admit that he likes spending time with Jason
  • Speaking of Lian, while she was at a sleepover Jason and Roy repainted her bedroom together. They spent the night designing a mural and ordered takeout. Jason fell asleep on Roy’s shoulder with a tiny dab of pink on his nose
  • One time Roy was on a mission while Lian’s school had an art show, so Jason went in his place. When some kid made fun of her painting, Jason jumped in like, “WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY KID, YOU TWERP?!?”
  • They go to an abstract art museum and Jason starts rambling about the deep meaning of a red splatter while Roy’s looking at the ticket receipt wondering how they got a couple’s discount
  • Also, at the museum, Roy drops cheesy pickup lines like, “I’d kiss you but the sign says not to touch the artwork”
  • Sometimes Papa Hood and Uncle Arsenal will read to kids at the Gotham library
  • They don’t see movies in theaters when it’s been adapted from books, otherwise the usher will kick them out for complaining that the adaptation is wrong
  • Bruce and Oliver can tell when Jason and Roy have had a date somewhere because they’ll find “JT + RH” graffitied inside a heart
212 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·16 hours agoAnswer

i apologize if you've already been asked this before, but if you were to describe each memeber of the fam in one word, what would it be?

An asterisk (*) denotes what I’m speculating because these characters haven’t had enough canon development.

Brace yourselves for the grossest oversimplifications yet.

Dick: Brother™

Jason: Shakespeare

Tim: disaster

Damian: animals

*Duke: sunshine

*Cullen: Tumblr

Stephanie: foodie

Cassandra: gremlin

Barbara: computers

*Harper: punk

*Carrie: unicorns

Kate: Aunt™

Alfred: God™

Bruce: Dad™

124 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·19 hours agoAnswer

following on from that kahoot ask, please could you tell us what sort of things has damian done that his siblings might confuse for something a cat would do?

  • Sit on computers, homework, books, etc.
  • Knock things off the table
  • Stretches over the entire couch the moment someone gets up
  • Blocks the door so people can’t leave
  • Veers out of the way when people try to touch him
  • Hisses when he comes in contact with water
  • Can squeeze into any space
  • Occasionally meows
  • Grooms himself but refuses to let others groom him
  • Steals food off of people’s plates
  • Has razor-sharp claws
  • Brings back random things from outside as offerings
  • Follows people around
  • Scratching everything and everyone
  • Climbs into other people’s beds in the middle of the night
  • Likes the taste of catnip
  • Causes problems
  • Looks like he can murder you but is actually a cinnamon roll
188 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·20 hours agoAnswer

Bruce being a good dad headcanons please?

  • Bruce still has Dick’s first report card and to this day. Forget Nightwing achievements and all that—this is his biggest bragging point with Dick. He’ll pull it out and be like, “See this? My son got a gold star in recess. What did your snot-nosed kid do again, Karen?” And Dick will act all embarrassed because “Come on, B, I’m twenty-six” but secretly, it always brings a smile to his face.
  • He can tell when Steph’s having a bad day because she’ll be completely silent and oddly focused on patrol, so they’ll go off the scheduled route, grab some Batburgers, and talk about anything (or nothing at all)
  • Although it sometimes comes off as anger, Bruce is actually terrified any time Jason disappears without warning, even if he’s just at the corner store for five minutes because oh God what if something happens again
  • Bruce once took a raincheck on a Justice League mission because Carrie’s Girl Scout troop needed one more chaperone on their apple orchard trip 
  • Duke has free reins when it comes to inviting his We Are Robin friends to the Manor because Bruce wants him to still feel like a normal teenager. However, feeding a gaggle of teenagers on top of an already-huge family is a lot of work for Alfred, so Bruce takes over during this time.
  • Harper doesn’t always have the best outlets when it comes to taking out her anger, especially about her birth father. Instead of trying to force her to talk or use conventional coping mechanisms, Bruce takes her to the paintball arena and they go HAM
  • He calls Tim “son” more than Tim’s actual name
  • Whenever Cass does something super-cool-and-awesome, Bruce is always like, “She gets that from my side”
  • Bruce always makes a point of letting Cullen know that just because he’s not actively on the vigilante scene doesn’t mean he’s any less valuable as a Bat
  • Babs and Bruce bond over mystery movies and they like to see who can solve the case before the detective—and before each other
  • Bruce often underestimates Damian’s age, with Damian being both the youngest and smallest. He’ll be at the store and see a coloring book for toddlers and think, “Oh, Damian will love this” and then at home Damian will look at it and be like, “Father, this is for ages three to five” and once again it’ll dawn on Bruce just how fast his children are growing (but Damian will still color it anyway).
528 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·20 hours agoAnswer

sleepover in the living room / movie nights in the wayne manor?

  • Duke is an expert at calling dibs, mainly because he doesn’t shout “dibs” or make a big scene—he just goes
  • Jason is not allowed to pick movies
  • Sad animal films are not an option. The one time they did, Damian was inconsolable and it left everyone equal parts worried and scared because they didn’t know what to do
  • Carrie and Steph hog the candy to themselves
  • Bruce dips his popcorn in a bowl of melted butter, kernel by kernel
  • Dick sings to Disney songs, so Damian trained Titus to put a paw over Dick’s mouth whenever a musical number comes on
  • Tim mixes his soda with four espresso shots and about a half cup of sugar
  • Black and white movies interest everyone except Carrie, who falls asleep midway each time
  • Sometimes they play a game where Babs mutes the movie and they ad-lib their own lines (which led to everyone making Chewbacca noises during the Titanic ship sinking scene)
  • Alfred (with Duke’s help) made one big family blanket
  • One time Kate snuck the Birds of Prey in for a screening and nobody noticed until Dinah asked for a refill
  • Cullen holds the record for “most times someone accidentally sat on the remote”
  • Harper holds the record for “most remote batteries stolen because they’re being salty”
  • They have a very precise seating arrangement. Duke is always front and center because he gets there first. Cass is right behind him and uses his head as a chinrest, UNLESS Duke is commenting and dropping accidental spoilers, in which she sits next to Steph and Carrie instead. Dick always sits next to Bruce and Damian always sits next to Dick, but the pets are also always with them like a wall of fur. HOWEVER, if the movie contains guns, Damian will move to Bruce’s other side, forcing Jason to scoot over and get all up in Harper and Cullen’s space, and those two have to move forward. Then Tim will complain about Harper’s knees digging into his back, so he’ll move next to Kate. But the smell of his drink makes her nauseous, so she’ll switch places with Alfred and sit next to Babs instead. By the time they all get comfortable, the movie is over.
232 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·21 hours agoAnswer

What kind of Kahoots would the Batfam make?

Dick“Who made the Dick joke?”, where they match jokes about Dick’s name to different friends/family members

Jason“Match the obscure book quote with the obscure character”

Tim“When did Tim take that photo?”, AKA a collection of embarrassing moments caught on camera

Damian“Are you smarter than Damian? (Probably not)”

Duke“Name the hero (wrong answers only)”

Cullen“Only 2013 Tumblr kids will remember this”

Stephanie: “Dami or a cat”; the players are given a behavior or scenario and they have to guess whether it was done by a cat or their youngest

Cassandra: “Kahoot Roulette”—all the questions and answers are blank, but there are still right and wrong options

Barbara“Guess the Rogue”, where they’re shown zoomed-in pictures and have to guess who it is

Harper“Did I buy this at Hot Topic or did I raid Cullen’s closet?”

Carrie: “Would you survive being a Girl Scout?”

Kate“Where in the world is Batwoman’s bike?”—they’re shown a photo of her motorcycle parked on a street and they have to guess where it is

Alfred“What vegetable is this?”

Bruce“Time to fess up”—the kids are given different incidents and they have to admit who did it

378 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·21 hours agoAnswer

Who has the best Robin costume Rank from best to worst

Robin Chic™. Top-of-the-line. Classy but still fresh – Stephanie

Cool and casual; a much-needed modern spin on an age-old moniker – Duke

Mad respect to all of you for getting creative when the city needed you – Daxton Chill, Dre Cipriani, Riko Sheridan, Isabella Ortiz, Shug-R, Tancredi, Taylor, Travis Price, and Troy Walker (We Are Robin)

Elegant and refined, bridging identity and functionality – Damian

Yay, you have pants! – Tim

The OG Robin. A bit dated, but still a goodie – Dick

Copycat Dick with a tire iron – Jason

You literally bought yours from Party City – Carrie

Someone’s gonna come after me for not including you, but I still think you’re the Jar Jar Binks of this fandom – Jarro

191 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·2 days agoAnswer

hi, i dontt wanna bother but i tagged you in one of those tag game posts a while back and i never saw it from you? its ok if you don't wanna, but i just wanna check in to be sure

Hey! I’m more than happy to do those. However, I’m getting thousands of notes per day and I don’t have time to look through even a fraction of them, so it’s more than likely that I won’t see it if you simply tag me. That said, my DMs are always open and if you want to tag me in something please also send me a link—that way I’ll be sure to get to it.

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incorrectbatfam·2 days agoChat
Tim, texting: Hi, who's this? Jason changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.
Other person: What's mine?
Tim: "Dwarf."
Other person: I'M NOT THAT SHORT!
Tim: Oh, hey Damian.
805 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·2 days agoChat
: [young Dick Grayson era]
Dick: Alfred, if my action figure's cold, can I put him in the toaster oven?
Alfred: No, Master Dick. That would be a mistake.
Dick: Alfred?
Alfred: Yes?
Dick: I made a mistake.
2K notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·3 days agoChat
Stephanie: Don't let Cass fool you. She's not that scary. She used to do ballet.
Duke: No way.
Cassandra: Which gave me the physical skills I need to strangle you with my feet.
780 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·3 days agoAnswer

do you think damian would do ballet with cass? I feel like he would partly bc he wants to spend time with her partly to show his love and partly bc he probably loves learning new things especially if he can potentially apply them to robin

Cut to him out on the field, doing a pirouette with a sword in hand and taking out everyone in the immediate vicinity

232 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·5 days agoAnswer

What's the whitest thing they've each done (exclusing Duke and Cass ofc)

I’m also gonna exclude Dick and Damian from this nonsense because I don’t count them as white.

That still leaves us with ten of them.

As a side note: I’m going by white American standards since that’s what I know the most.

Tim: says “now let’s do a silly one” when taking photos

Cullen: complains that ketchup is spicy (but proceeds to drown his food in it anyway)

Stephanie: took one of those #BLESSED golden hour selfies

Barbara: asked to speak with the manager

Harper: relies on Google Translate a little too much

Carrie: has a “live, laugh, love” sign in her room

Kate: spent three months in Spain and came back insisting she knew the country better than anyone else

Alfred: …he’s from Britain

Bruce: wears a Hawaiian shirt with cargo shorts, socks, and sandals on vacation

Jason: complains about white people as though that somehow exempts him

235 notes · See All
incorrectbatfam·5 days agoAnswer

how tall would you headcanon each of the bats as? you can ignore anything canon, just make it up how you want it to be

Jason: 6′4″

Alfred: 6′2″

Dick: 6′1″

Bruce: 6′0″

Harper and Kate: 5′10″

Barbara and Duke: 5′9″

Tim, Cassandra, and Stephanie: 5′8″

Cullen: 5′7″

Carrie: 5′4″

Titus (on his hind legs): 5′1″

Damian: 4′11″

259 notes · See All
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