Fabricio: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!
Nita:
Fabricio: Oh, right. The lying.
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Fabricio: Do we have any orange juice left?
Nita: (pours the remaining juice into her cup)
Nita: Sorry, we’re all out.
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Young Nita: Mom, is that legal?
Monica: When there's no cops around, anything's legal!
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Kovit: I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed.
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Henry: Can you believe what that piece of shit did? THE UNGRATEFUL WHORE!!!
Gold: Uh, which whore are we talking about this time?
Henry: Kovit! That zannie walked out on me! ME! I fucking made him!
Gold: Oh! Kovit quit?
Henry: NO! He didn't quit! It's worse! He MOVED!!!
Henry: He thinks he can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else? Can you believe that?!?!?!?!
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Nita: When I first met you, I did not like you.
Adair: I'm aware of that.
Nita: But then you and I had some time together.
Adair: Uh-huh?
Nita: It did not get better.
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Nita: I'm tired.
Kovit: You slept for three hours last night! Why are you surprised?!
Nita: I'm not surprised. I just wanted to complain about it.
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Adair: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.
Nita: Actually, Kovit is my favourite.
Adair: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.
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Gold: I hate you!
Kovit: Wow! So much in common already!
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Diana: I think it’s important we all get to know each other! So we are going to play a little game. Everyone, follow me. My name is Diana (claps twice) I like computers! (claps twice) and when we get to know each other it’s really super! (claps twice)
Nita: This is stupid.
Diana: This is not stupid! (claps twice) It’s just a game! (claps twice) I did it so now please try to do the same! (claps twice)
Kovit: I am too tired for this.
Adair: Well, get used to it and learn how to play, this is gonna be your whole day (claps twice)
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Nita: (to Fabricio) Are you peanuts?
Nita: Because I want to boil you alive.
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Adair: If you aren't someone the church wanted dead 300 years ago, are you really living?
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Nita: The dinosaurs didn’t rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn’t have.
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Kovit: Look guys, I need help.
Adair: Financial help?
Diana: Emotional help?
Nita: Help moving a body?
(Everybody looks at Nita)
Nita: What?
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Nita: "You look tired" well, the torment is relentless and the horrors never cease.
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Nita: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Kovit: I wrote you a poem.
Nita: (already crying) You did?
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Nita: Big day today, Kovit. (holds up two shirts) Mustard stain or ketchup stain?
Kovit: Mustard– looks less like blood.
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