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Koshosho, handing out margaritas, to Gracia: You drink, right kid?
Gracia: Sure!
Mitsuhide, taking the drink out of Gracia’s hands: I don’t think so.
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Ujiyasu: So help me God, Kotaro, sometimes I think I’ve failed as a father.
Kotaro: Sometimes?
Ujiyasu: Oh, shut up!
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Hanzo: I stole nothing.
Kunoichi: I broke nothing.
Kotaro: I stabbed nothing.
Nene:
Kunoichi: Aren’t you proud of us?
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Whenever people look at Aya and find out that she's my older sister, I feel like they look back at me and think, "God, what happened to Kenshin? Did he witness a murder?"
Kenshin
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@incorrectsamuraiwarriorsquotes is a gift
(Original post can be found here)
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Mitsuhide: Your retainer is gnc af
Nobunaga: You are insane.
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WAKE THE FUCK UP Y’ALL
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Nō: God, we're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
Nobunaga: I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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im laughing
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Kai: But how do we fight off Ieyasu? We have no swords. No guns. No rocks. No sticks. No bears.
Kunoichi, mouthing quietly to herself: Bears?
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No: If I die, my funeral’s going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited.
Okuni: If?
Ranmaru: Great, the only party I've ever been invited to and she might not even die.
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[investigating a haunted house]
No: You don’t feel the energy here?
Okuni, with her phone out: Oh shit, what’s up, I’m taking a selfie with some demons!
No: *slides into frame with a peace sign*
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Ranmaru: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Hideyoshi: What if it bites me and it dies?
Ranmaru: That means you’re poisonous. Jesus Christ, learn to listen.
Masamune: What if it bites itself and I die?
Okuni: It’s voodoo.
Hideyoshi: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Ranmaru: That’s correlation, not causation.
Nobunaga: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?
No: That’s kinky.
Ranmaru: Oh my god.
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Shingen: Do you think I could fit twenty marshmallows in my mouth?
Ujiyasu: You're a hazard to yourself, Shingen.
Kenshin: And a coward. Do thirty.
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Mitsunari: Alright, I'm going to be frank,
Sakon: Okay, can I still be Sakon?
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Mitsuhide: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight, Lady No? Have you ever seen the face of death crawling through your bed at night?
No: Well, yes, although he’s a Gengar, and Okuni and I like to call him Kitty.
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Kenshin: Aya, can you do something for me?
Aya: I would literally cover up a murder for you, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for the crime.
Kenshin: Great. Can you do the dishes for me?
Aya: No.
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