incorrectusquotes

[incorrectusquotes]

jenni: rules are made to be broken.

dad: they were made to be followed. nothing is made to be broken.

devi: uh, piñatas.

kate: glow sticks.

lori: karate boards.

matt: spaghetti when you have a small pot.

jenni: rules.

dad:

#dad #jenni #devi #kate #lori #matt #s: generator

[incorrectusquotes]

jenni: anyone d-

lori: depressed?

matt: drained?

devi: dumb?

kate: disliked?

jenni: -done with their work... are y'all ok...

#lori #kate #devi #matt #jenni #s: generator

[incorrectusquotes]

jenni: alright, now everyone pay attention. i have an announcement to make and i only have a minute.

lori: why?

matt: are you in a hurry?

jenni: no, i was referring to your relatively short attention spans.

#lori #matt #jenni #s: generator

[incorrectusquotes]

dad: we have fun, don’t we, jenni?

jenni: i have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

#dad #jenni #s: tumblr

[incorrectusquotes]

devi, banging on the door: val! open up!

val: well, it all started when I was a kid...

kate: no, she meant-

lori: let her finish.

#devi #kate #lori #val #s: ifunny

[incorrectusquotes]

lori: if you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

stephen: what if it bites me and it dies??

devi: then you’re poisonous. jesus christ, stephen, learn to listen.

kate: what if it bites itself and I die?

sam: that’s voodoo.

matt: what if it bites me and someone else dies?

stephen: that’s correlation, not causation.

kate: what if we bite each other, and neither of us die?

lori: that’s kinky.

sam: oh my god.

#devi #kate #lori #matt #sam #stephen #s: tumblr

[incorrectusquotes]

stephen: *screams*

lori: *screams louder to establish dominance*

kate: should we do something?

devi: no, I want to see who wins.

#devi #kate #lori #stephen #s: twitter

[incorrectusquotes]

lori: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

stephen: Three words.

lori:

#stephen #lori #s: tumblr

[incorrectusquotes]

devi: gabe, you play this harmonica and get $100,000,000.... but, 1,000,000 people will die-

gabe: *violent harmonica playing*

devi: gABE NO

#devi #gabe

[incorrectusquotes]

sam: like this video if you think being haunted is... kinda hot.

#sam #s: vine

[incorrectusquotes]

lori: swallowing glass just to stay pure...

kate: if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please dont swallow glass.

#kate #lori #s: tumblr

[incorrectusquotes]

Sam: If there are any spirits here.... can you tell me... does this sound like Shakira? Lele le le-

#sam #s: vine

[incorrectusquotes]

Lori: Man, I need a drink. *pours a shot of apple juice*

#lori #s: tumblr

[incorrectusquotes]

Lori: I hate the homeless...

Y'all: *stunned silence*

Lori: *flips cue card* ...ness problem... that plagues our city.

#lori #yall #s: doctor horrible

[incorrectusquotes]

Lori: You better buckle down and do your work or you'll end up at McDonald's.

Josh: We goin to McDonald's If I don't do my work?!

Lori: nO!

#lori #josh #s: vine

[incorrectusquotes]

Kate: *strained breathing* Welcome to our house.

Kate: *heavy breathing* Let me guess,

Kate: *collapsing* Alfredo?

#kate #s: vine

[incorrectusquotes]

Kate: The best revenge, really, is being nice!

Sam: *in the distance* Or murder!

#sam #kate #s: twitter