Nightcrawler: Go to hell.
Mystique: Nope, I can’t go there. Your father still has a restraining order against me.
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I’m not a nepotism hire if my dad doesn’t like me.
Pietro Maximoff
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Logan: Oh, my God. Did you put glitter in the laundry detergent?
Dazzler: Oh, yeah. I'm experimenting with some new entrepreneurial ideas. That one's called "Sparkle Suds." Dress loud.
Logan: Will you stop putting glitter in everything? This morning you put glitter in the butter.
Dazzler: "Disco Dairy." Spread the party.
Logan: No, that's not a good idea. That's terrible.
Dazzler: Well, the target demographic isn't angry, ancient Canadians.
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Arson? More like Crime Brûlée!
Pyro
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Bobby Drake: Wasn't Mystique being fatphobic when she called Fred Dukes fatso??
Kitty Pryde: You’re right. Let me add fatphobe to the list of "Why Mystique is Problematic", right underneath her multiple war crimes.
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Emma Frost: I'd lie for you.
Scott Summers: Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. Emma, you just like to lie.
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Scott Summers: There are six genders on this team: Sexy, Hot, Trash, Capitalism, Polyamory, and Kurt.
Ororo Munroe: Tag yourself, I'm sexy.
Peter Maximoff: Trash
Jean Grey: Polyamory
Kurt Wagner:
Kurt Wagner: Is--Is this a trick question, or--
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Deadpool: So, uh, you're gay, huh? For pay or for free?
Bobby Drake: Uh, for free, I guess.
Deadpool: Chump.
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“Magic is real, and so are my sons!”
— Wanda Maximoff
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at this point i'm holding myself together with glitter glue
Alison Blaire
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Deadpool: Kinda gay to make a wanted poster... why do you want that man? So you can hold him?
Cable: Yeah. Hold him accountable.
Deadpool: Hold him accountable for stealing your heart?
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boop
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“If a member of the faculty is your dad, they have to tell you, right?”
— Peter Maximoff
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Logan: man if I saw an elf nobody would be able to stop me
Kurt Wagner: From what
Logan: nobody would be able to stop me
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“Call me old fashioned, but an evil ascension to power just isn’t the same without someone chanting Latin in the background.”
— Apocalypse
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Pietro Maximoff: Did you and Mystique have sex?
Azazel:
Scott Summers: Yes.
Kitty Pryde: Dude, what?
Kurt Wagner: Where do you think I came from?
Logan: You can't ask if people had sex.
Pietro Maximoff: Okay, I'm sorry!
Pietro Maximoff:
Azazel:
Pietro Maximoff: What was it like?
Logan: Stop.
Pietro Maximoff: Hm?
Logan: Stop!
Kurt Wagner: I definitely don't want to hear what my dad's sex is like.
Logan: Though--actually, I am interested, because you're interdimensional and a demon-
Kurt Wagner: OKAY EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT SEX WITH MY DAD.
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Jubilee: I mean, you don't want to end up like Logan. Without, you know, any friends.
Logan: What? I have friends.
Laura Kinney: No. Logan has friends. Kurt,
Laura Kinney:
Laura Kinney: I shouldn't have made that sound like I was gonna have a list.
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