introvert-celeste

[introvert-celeste]

Man, I miss having a currently airing show to make theories about :(

#steven universe is still my current obsession though I'm having trouble finishing the fic I'm currently working on #my owl house obsession has died down a lot so I'm putting it in my cartoon obsessions archive for now lol #at least until I've completed the fics i wanted to complete for SU #then maybe I'll rewatch TOH and reignite my love #currently I'm rewatching ATLA since i got the boxset for Christmas and it's still pretty good! #the pacing feels a little better in ATLA but LOK is where the obsession worthy content takes place and I'm excited for that #but man it was nice having something new to look forward to

[introvert-celeste]

Did my fourth blood donation today and it went great! It only took 7 minutes and I didn't even feel faint that entire time or afterwards!

#me #i am shaping up to be a decent blood bag after all

[introvert-celeste]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND!!!!!! (ALSO STOP THAT YOURE NOT OLD SEIZE THE DAY ILY)

THANKS!!!! And I will certainly try!!! <3

#asks

[introvert-celeste]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

THANK YOU!!!! 🎉

#asks

[introvert-celeste]

One thing I'm grateful for is that I age like my mom so I still look almost the same as I did when I was a teenager, sans some roundness in my face. I could say I'm 16 and no one would bat an eye.

#me #i even get a teenager's level of acne at times just to really sell the point #though once i really start talking it's obvious I'm nothing like them #i mean i didn't even relate with teenagers much when i was one

[introvert-celeste]

Today is my birthday! I'm officially in my late 20s, and as I always say, it's all downhill from here! 😃

#me #I'm completely incapable of not being at least a little self depreciating on my birthday #but it's all good at least there will be cake!

[introvert-celeste]

Positive cat stuff under the cut ☺️

In case anyone is wondering, my cat Sirius is doing so much better. He's almost completely back to normal! I didn't weigh him at his worst, but he was probably in the 7 to 8lbs rang. His healthy weight was about 11lbs, so that's alarmingly light. Last night I weighed him and he was over 9lbs! He's starting to put on bulk around his spine and ribs again, and he feels more solid when I pick him up. Plus he's sweeter than ever. He's always been super shy, but I think this experience has really brought him out of his shell. He's gotta know how much we love him, otherwise I don't think he would have pulled through the way he did.

#me #my cats #sirius #he's doing so well #the last of his 9 lives is going to be a great one i think

[introvert-celeste]

I'm officially on vacation for my birthday, fucking finally 🎂🎉

#me #9 days off babey! #time to do next to nothing! #turning 26 on the 15th late 20s hype

[introvert-celeste]

Easter is such a ridiculous holiday bc it's about as pagan as a Christian holiday can get, and yet it's one of the most celebrated Christian holidays, after Christmas. The day is literally the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox, and the day revolves around eggs and rabbits, both obvious fertility/rebirth symbols. Like, if that isn't pagan tradition to a tee, I don't know what is. But also Jesus is involved in there. I get that it evolved like this bc the two events--the original Pagan festival and Jesus' resurrection--take place around the same time, but it's still kinda crazy.

Anyway, happy trans day of visibility 🏳️‍⚧️

[introvert-celeste]

Sorry for all the cat posting lately. It's really been triggering my anxiety and I've needed to vent my concerns or get consumed by them. Now that Sirius is rapidly recovering, though, I'm gonna cool it with all the personal stuff for now. I know y'all are tired of seeing it.

#me #my cats #also not to get into heavy topics #but for awhile now I've been having a lot of passive suicidal thoughts #and all this grief I've had lately when i thought Sirius was dying kind of snapped me out of it #i guess hearing about all the pain and death in the news made me not want to live with it all #but being confronted with an actual death of a loved one made it more real to me #idk I'm rambling but hey i don't wanna die for the time being

[introvert-celeste]

Very, very gently: 12 isn't THAT old for an indoor cat. Quickly googling, life expectancy for an indoor cat is 12-18 years. He could easily live several more years. And even if he can't, if he's got something really painful and not treatable, it might be good to get him some pain medicine. But an infection will only get worse, and antibiotics can fix him right up.

Oh! And if he has really big problems going to the vet/the car, they can prescribe him gabapentin, which will calm him down. Seriously, I have a cat that *will not* get in her carrier without it. It's basically magic.

To be perfectly honest, and I know this isn't a great excuse, but we can't really afford to go to the vet. Every vet in the area is so expensive. Frankly, there's tons of doctors offices in our area in general and 99% of them are outrageously expensive. That's one of the reasons I still haven't gotten a therapist lol.

But yeah, other than that, he has been clearly improving. He's super active, his appetite has been quickly returning, and he's not in any pain, as far as we can tell by feeling around his body. If he was in obvious pain/distress then we would absolutely try to scrape together the funds, but he's pretty much back to his happy, healthy self. He's just really skinny right now. I have hope that he's got a couple more years left in him.

#asks #me #my cats #i do feel bad that we can't do more but this is 100% what he wants

[introvert-celeste]

Hey, have you taken Sirius to the vet? He might have a treatable infection

We haven't yet, but I think it'll cause way more stress than it's worth. He's terrified of even going in the car, let alone going to a completely different place to be handled by strangers. He's obviously recovering and, as far as I can tell, he isn't in any pain or discomfort aside from some joint issues. That doesn't mean there isn't anything wrong with him because clearly there is, but I don't want to push him, not at his age.

#asks #me #my cats #sirius

[introvert-celeste]

In spite of everything, Sirius is doing a lot better! He not only ate a good bit today--about half of what he normally eats--but he's taken himself to the food bowl multiple times. He can jump on and off my bed with no obvious discomfort. His nose is wet, his ears are cool to the touch, and his eyes are bright and alert. His bones are creaky, but he can still outpace us when we're trying to put him back to bed. He's so happy, and we're so happy he's happy. I'm starting to hope that maybe he'll actually pull through.

#me #my cats #sirius #i would still have been cautious if it weren't for the fact that he's still mobile and improving every day #he's clearly recovering and not just perking up right before the end #even if we just get to keep him for a couple more months I'll be so grateful

[introvert-celeste]

Sirius is still alive, but it's clear that he's nearing the end. He still won't eat more than a nibble here and there, and while he's still fine drinking a little water on his own, he has a bad smell in his breath that says that his kidneys are probably failing. He's been mobile and happy, though, which is the most any of us can hope for. He purrs often, fluffs, and begs for lots of attention. When he saw me crying, he gave me some little chirps and laid down next to me. God, I'm gonna miss him.

#me #my cats #sirius

[introvert-celeste]

Oh my god, Sirius came back!

He's alive and on my bed! I'm so happy!

#me #my cats #he still isn't eating but even if he eventually ends up dying at least he'll be comfortable and surrounded by people who love him

[introvert-celeste]

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#vent #sorry this is my last vent for the night #but sirius has almost all the signs of a cat at the end of its life #i can't deal with this I can't #i want him to come home even if he dies soon after I just want him here #I was just thinking about everything in hindsight and it feels so terribly obvious #it's too much #he was FINE a few days ago #like yes he's had increasing problems for awhile but I really took a drastic turn for the worse #one day he was eating and drinking normally and being his normal amount of active #and the next day he's like this

[introvert-celeste]

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#vent #my cats #sirius got out early this morning and we let him be bc he wanted to lay in a patch of sunlight and relax #after a few hours though he just disappeared #we're fearing the worst #he was just starting to improve dammit #i can't fucking do this not yet #he's always had some problems but he's such a sweetie #although I know if he did leave to die this is more preferable to him by far than being euthanized #he's always been on the feral side #it just fucking hurts