irondad-on-crack

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter has a bad habit of just straight up forgetting to drink water, and it drives Tony nuts.

Peter: *chugs his sixth Pepsi in two days*

Tony: You need water, Peter. Water. You know what they say. Hydrate or die-drate.

Peter, downing some more Pepsi like it’s a shot: Die-drate it is!

#peter parker #iron dad #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #weird headcanons #headcanons #irondad #spiderson #marvel #avengers #MCU #spider man #iron man #keep forgetting about this count but omg we’re almost at 7k what even

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter: the human life is a strained and tense one. I envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach... warmed by the sun... unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentiment life.

Tony: Do you need to talk?

Peter: I wish I was a croissant.

#reblog #mood

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter: Why can you never trust a spider?

Tony: Actually, I can think of a few reasons for this one.

Peter: Because they put stuff on the web!

Tony, squinting: Are you trying to confess to something, kid?

Peter has an almost endless collection of terrible spider jokes and puns which he loves to use to make Tony roll his eyes.

Peter: What did the spider say when he broke his new web?

Tony, humoring him: What?

Peter, wheezing: “Darn it!”

Tony:

#peter parker #iron dad #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #headcanons #weird headcanons #irondad #spiderson

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter has an almost endless collection of terrible spider jokes and puns which he loves to use to make Tony roll his eyes.

Peter: What did the spider say when he broke his new web?

Tony, humoring him: What?

Peter, wheezing: “Darn it!”

Tony:

#peter parker #iron dad #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #headcanons #weird headcanons #irondad #spiderson

[irondad-on-crack]

Tony: What do you want to be for Halloween, kid? I can make any costume you want.

Peter: Normal.

Tony, wincing: Yeah, sorry, buddy. You’re on your own for that one.

#this was supposed to be funny but I think I just made it sad #oh well #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #marvel #mcu

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter: Birth Certificates are just baby receipts.

Tony:...

Tony: Get out.

Peter: Okay :)

#reblog

[irondad-on-crack]

tony, showing off his new armor: this suit is made of uru

peter: did u just say uwu

#mod 1 had to google this but yeah. yeah this is funny #reblog

[irondad-on-crack]

Ok but Peter just being fully done with like finals or some shit and just..?? Webbing himself fully into a cocoon and ignoring the world. Tony comes is like ‘Pete??? You okay there buddy?” And you just hear a “MPHGHFrbtrpl” from the depths of this roll of spider webbing

Peter, wrapped in a cocoon of webs: If I don’t take my finals, I can’t fail them. 😌

Tony: That’s—that’s actually the opposite of true.

Peter, rolling away across the floor: If I can’t hear you, it can’t be true!

Tony:

#shoutout to me and the other mod for consistently forgetting this blog exists #but we’re not far off from 7k which is INSANE to us #answered #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #mcu

[irondad-on-crack]

Tony: Why is your report card taped on the ceiling?

Peter: You said bring my grades up.

Tony:

Tony: I did say that. Let me see ‘em.

#my favorite aesthetic is peter & tony being geniuses #but at the same time... fucking DUMBASSES #genius dumbass solidarity #reblog

[irondad-on-crack]

WHO WE ARE:

We’re a group of fans of the band The Amazing Devil.

There’s a lot of talent in our Dear Hearts community, and we really want to showcase that while raising money for a good cause.

You can also find us on Instagram and Twitter! Our stream link is here:

https://youtu.be/MlAUHtN2JOo

WHAT WE’RE DOING:

We’re holding a charity streaming event for the organization Refugee Women Connect, which helps and supports women who are seeking asylum. During this event, participants will be doing all kinds of activities, from singing and streaming digital art, to playing instruments and doing poetry readings.

Follow Refugee Women Connect on their Instagram, Twitter, and website to learn more about them!

WHEN WE’RE DOING IT:

The event will be held on September 13th, 2020, and will start at 3pm UTC and go until 10pm UTC.

#this is so cool! #not irondad but a lot of people are giving this a boost and we wanted to help #sb #signal boost

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter: Mr. Stark, the door is locked, we can’t get in

Tony: Don’t worry I have the key

Tony: *blasts the door completely off its hinges*

Peter:

Peter:

Peter: What the fuck Mr. Stark

#lowkey forgot about this blog again but PLEASE this is so funny #reblog

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter: Do you imagine a huge shark swimming up from underneath you, mouth wide open like in the movie Jaws whenever you swim underwater in a pool with your eyes closed or are you normal?

Tony, nervous: Uhhh.... I’m normal, I guess? Kid, are you okay?

Ned, nodding: Wait, I thought it was just me who imagines that!

#peter parker #iron dad #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #shitpost #headcanon #weird headcanons #ned leeds

[irondad-on-crack]

Are you riots-space? (One of you lol)

honestly identity is all subjective so who knows 😩

#completely forgot this blog existed im so sorry 😂 #answered

[irondad-on-crack]

Tony offers to teach Peter how to drive, but after five bad dad jokes in the span of a single hour, Peter decides that taking the subway works just fine.

Tony, gesturing to park on the side of the road: soon you'll be a real..... parallel Parker

Peter: I will literally drive us both off a cliff right now if you won't be quiet

#if ANY of you try and tell me tony wouldn't make dad jokes you're dead wrong lmao #iron dad #peter parker #tony stark #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #crack #headcanon #weird headcanons #shitpost #spider son #irondad #spiderson

[irondad-on-crack]

If neither of you is sexycraisinthanos im gonna be massively dissapointed bc that’s lowkey my best guess rn

disappointed as in you’re just not gonna like us or disappointed because your guess was wrong?

#we're like schrodinger's mods #we both ARE and are NOT anybody #until proven otherwise #*insert eye emoji* #anonymous

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter Parker but with the 2020 online AP exams and he's going crazy because of the questions, tume limit and when hes trying to submit the test, it won't let him.

spider-man climbs to the top of stark tower and writes “fuck the college board” using his web fluid. the video goes viral.

#anonymous #peter complains to tony that he'd rather fight the green goblin #then have to take the AP calc BC test a second time #this post goes out to anyone that had to take the 2020 ap test...... icons. the lot of you. #iron dad

[irondad-on-crack]

Peter: this summer, make sure you stay hydrated! drink your liquid ice! lather on that radiation blocking cream!

Tony: peter. you’re a national academic decathlon winner. i’m actually begging you to stop.

Peter is always thinking of alternative names for common household things and then using them casually to throw people off.

Peter: Mr. Stark, we need more laundry sauce.

Tony: More what?

Peter: You know, like the stuff you use to wash clothes.

Tony: You mean detergent?

Peter: Yeah, but it’s more like a sauce for clothes, you know?

Tony: You’re not allowed to say words anymore ever.

#the saga continues #peter parker #iron dad #tony stark #crack #incorrect quotes #incorrect marvel quotes #shitpost #headcanon #weird headcanons