itsamejin

[itsamejin]

I just read Leave me again. How could he do this to her? He had the audacity to even go upto her and give her an invitation? Fuck Jieun and Fuck Yoongi, I bet he will cheat again that bastard, I can't move on from this story. I hope their wedding gets ruined by saesangs and bird poops on Jieun's wedding dress, and Yoongi gets diarhea and shits his wedding suit. They can go to hell. I hope Y/N gets someone who loves her immensely. She is so sweet, if something like that happened to me, I would have slept with all his members, his father, his brother, Jieun's whole family and ruins their relationship with everyone. Fucking cheating scumbags. I can't stand people who cheat. Selfish motherfuckers.

LMAOOOO this made me cackle yall are so funny and out of pocket i swear

#Anonymous

[itsamejin]

📣 looking for work that will make your heart clench and make you sob like a baby?? DING DING DING THIS IS IT FOLKS 👏🏼 can i just say that all of your work are so beautifully written that even as someone who never experienced the heartbreak or whatever they are feeling, i feel it so much jfkedj you really take us through all the emotions and how this led to that and UGH BEST !!! if ever you make a general taglist (not sure if there’s one) may i please be added 🥺

So sorry for the late response but yes a general taglist is such a smart idea thank you so much! I’ll probably separate it by groups, but thank you for bringing this up. I’ll keep this in mind for the future :3

#holaaaf

[itsamejin]

Hey, someone copied “easy”. I saw it on Instagram. I’m not sure if it’s you who posted it on Instagram?

That was not me! If anyone has seen my work outside of tumblr please let me know. I do not post anywhere else except here and I’d hate to know that someone is plagiarizing my work :(

#Anonymous

[itsamejin]

again | yoongi angst | drabble game

Prompt: “I don’t regret being with you, if that’s what you’re thinking.” + “You’re going to leave me. Again.”

Warning: heavy angst, cursing, yoongi is a dick

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Requested by: @namfinessed

Word Count: 972 words

—

When the air is tense and your breaths are bated. When you’re afraid to speak but too angry to stay quiet. That’s when you want to hate him, but know that you don’t.

You sit on the lonesome bed, Yoongi’s back facing you as he taps his foot annoyingly on the carpeted floor. It hurts for you to say anything. It’s frustrating for him to even look at you. 

“I don’t understand where this is coming from,” you start, voice close to crumbling. “We were fine yesterday-”

“Well we’re not fine today,” he interrupts, turning around to meet your eyes. There was a certain coldness in his- one that felt too familiar nowadays. How they stare at you emptily when you beg for him to stay- you know it all too well.

You feel the prick of tears behind your eyelids, threatening to spill over any second.

“And I don’t think we’ll be fine tomorrow either," he continues, disregarding the pain in your expression by walking past you. You wonder if he knows the weight of his words.

You attempt to swallow back the sadness, trying to appear stronger than you actually are. He goes over to his side of the closet, perfectly untouched and so separated from your clothes. He takes things out one by one, reaching over to a duffle bag on the top to stuff everything in.

“Tell me what I did,” you beg, reaching out for the sleeve of his shirt. “Tell me and I’ll fix it.”

It was concerning how you gripped onto him as if your life depended on him. Yoongi didn’t like the sight of it- didn’t like the sight of desperation.

“There's just too much going on," he purses his lips. You’re too much.

“So much I’ve been missing out on,” he continues.  Yoongi tries to formulate a believable enough excuse for you to get your hands off him, but the words he spews out are venomous- toxic enough to kill you.

"Too much I've regretted.”

You bite back the tears, afraid that if you lash out then he'll walk out of your life. Again. 

He loosens your grip on him and takes a step back. Yoongi doesn't know why it doesn't hurt to see you broken, doesn't know why it feels more relieving to argue than make up.

"What did I do Yoongi?" you ask, lips quivering. "What did I do?"

“Nothing,” he replies coldly, “Nothing ever happens in our relationship.”

Yoongi sees the tears start to fall down your cheeks and for a brief second he thinks he’s gone too far, but he knows he hasn’t. You’re still standing in front of him, mumbling for forgiveness as if he wasn’t the one that inflicted all your pain. He sighs out of frustration or annoyance- whichever was more akin to the guilt that started to crawl up his chest. 

"I don't regret being with you if that's what you're thinking," he says straightforwardly. "But I regret choosing to stay when I shouldn't have."

Your patience was running thin.

"You're not even willing to try,” you wail, pushing yourself off the bed to stand in front of him. “You’re never willing to do anything.”

Yoongi cringes. Isn’t that all the two of you have been doing? Try? When can he be happy without it having to be so out of reach?

"There's nothing left to save [Y/N]," he sighs. "I'm unhappy and pretty soon you will be too."

“You have no right to assume how I’m going to feel,” you cry, attempting to get closer to him but he just walks past you and onto to the living room.

“And you have no right to stop me from leaving,” he grumbles. 

You scream as you follow him, punching his back repeatedly in hopes that he could feel the pain that you were feeling too. He turns around swiftly and grabs your wrists, urging you to calm down, but you were past that point by now. 

"You asshole," you cry, "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you-"

He pushes you off him gently. This constant game of push and pull. He was sick of it, so sick of having to act like he cared when he didn’t.

"If you hate me," he says lowly, "Then just let me leave."

Your crying stops and so does your heart momentarily. You let your hands gradually come to your side as you stare at him with tear-stained cheeks. No indication of remorse was on his face. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

You purse your lips, ready to yell again, but deciding against it. He had looked so bored, so disconnected with the argument- like none of this affected him in the way it affected you. 

You purse your lips. Maybe you should’ve seen this coming. It’s happened before- how could you fool yourself into thinking that history would never repeat itself?

"Are you done throwing a tantrum?" he asks mockingly.

He grabs a coat on top of the dresser and spares you a meaningless glance before opening the door.

He pauses when you grab the back of his shirt.

"Why?" It comes out as a croak, your voice forbidding you to speak normally. “Please. This time...  just tell me why.”

He turns back and heaves out a soft sigh. Yoongi looks at you directly.

“I wanted to love you [Y/N],” he says, sucking in a deep breath. “But I know deep down that I don’t.”

An impregnable silence falls between you two and you swear you could hear your heart crack in the middle of it all. Nothing could save you now, nothing could heal the sadness that overtook your entire body.

“You’re going to leave me,” you whimper. “Again.”

He smiles sadly at you.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he closes the door behind him. “I am.”

—

A/N: I’m gonna start posting the small stuff before I get into the bigger one shots. Hope y’all like this lil short thing i came up with. The last few weeks have been really busy for me so I’m eternally sorry for the lack of content! Let me know if you liked this drabble and how you feel about it :>

buy me a coffee?

#yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts scenario #suga angst #suga fluff #suga scenarios #suga scenario #yoongi scenario #yoongi scenarios #bts imagine #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #suga imagine #suga imagines #angst #fluff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #bangtan boys #min yoongi #yoongi #suga #bts drabble #bts drabbles #bangtan angst #yoongi drabble #suga drabble

[itsamejin]

OMFG!! I CRIED LIKE A LITTLE BITCH AFTER READING GOODBYE. It is just so good, so raw!! It's one of those fics that stay with you and you find yourself coming back to it when you feel down or low. Definitely in my top5 yoongi fics of all time! especially loved the ending how it didn't end on a completely fluffy note, as if things got better magically. It takes time and patience bring in a relationship. Thankyou so much for writing this beautiful piece 💜

Thank you for these kind words 🥺 yeah i def wanted a happy ending but one that didnt feel too out of the nowhere. I at first was planning to make it angsty but yall deserve a happy ending from me for once 😂

[itsamejin]

Sorry I've been inactive recently yall the writers block is really killing me, I'll try to update my remaining stories as soon as i can :D

[itsamejin]

Are you still active? Do you still take requests? I came across your page today and I love love love angsty stories and you are the perfect writer for it. I’m hoping for more angsty stories of yours :)

Yes I’m still active :D I no longer accept requests but I do take commissions! Commissions are closed for now but they will be once I'm not as busy :)

[itsamejin]

whooo when i say ur the best angst writer on this whole website I MEAN THAT. you’re so so talented and hardworking!!

🥺 i will cry because of this thank you so much!! Here's a picture of cat I've been obsessed with recently. You made me smile so I hope this makes you smile 😺

[itsamejin]

the one that got away || hendery angst || part 2 (finale)

Part 1

Summary: Some days you don’t regret the decision to leave him, but most days you do.

Warning: self-hatred, insecurities, mutual pining

Genre: angst, fluff, mutual pining

Pairing: Hendery x reader

Premise: You two broke up and that should’ve been the end of it, but he sends you a message and all of a sudden it isn’t.

Commission Request: @iron-lix​

Word Count: 4,164 words

—

hey, its guanheng. just got your new number lol, wanted to know if you would like to catch up sometime and talk? Idk… just text me back if u want to

You were tempted to delete it, bury it in your trash bin along with all the other concerned messages Guanheng sent you before you blocked his number. It would’ve been the right thing to do, to end any sort of contact before you could hurt yourself further. Insecurity nagged at the back of your brain, yet you find yourself texting him back anyway.

if you want

Short. Simple. Enough to get the message across, but not enough to make him think you were desperate. Did you come off as desperate? Please, don’t make him think-

omg

u actually replied!! 

how are you???

and im free on sunday 

do u wanna meet up then?

The bombardment of texts brought a sad smile to your face. It really was him. It was Guanheng. No person used question marks as liberally, no person sent that many texts consecutively. You hesitate to answer. Too much could go wrong for you to risk seeing him again. You could break down in tears and be left in the dust, similar to how you had left Guanheng just a year earlier. 

You convinced yourself that there was nothing left to talk about, there was no more closure needed. You two broke up cleanly and it should stay that way. 

i’m doing fine, and yeah i’d love to :)

Your thoughts contradict your actions and you find yourself burying your face in your hands, frustrated at how easily you agreed. What the hell was wrong with you? You blocked him for a reason, you wanted to get over him. Agreeing to “catch up” with an ex wasn’t getting over him. You would only end up missing him more after all was said and down.

What made you think that you deserved to see him after all you had done?

—

At a small cafe on the outskirts of Macao, you reconsider every decision you made that led up to this point. You fiddle with your fingers, wondering why you even decided to paint your nails like he’d even pay attention to them in the first place. You scratch at the polka-dotted dress you wore, cursing at yourself for wearing his favorite color- pink. You purse your lips, regretting putting on such heavy makeup to hide the dark circles that formed underneath your eyes from the sleepless night you had. You couldn’t get a wink of rest knowing you’d see his face again after so long.

You should’ve just stayed home, should’ve just blocked his number as you did all those months ago.

“Hey,” a gentle voice calls out, interrupting your negative thoughts. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s actually you.”

You look up from your lap, Guanheng staring at you with the brightest smile on his face. He takes the seat across from you hesitantly as if he still wasn’t sure he came to the right table. No one recognized him here in this reclusive cafe, but he still couldn’t find it in himself to relax. Especially with you in front of him.

“It’s been a while,” you smile sadly. Your voice was shaky and Guanheng noticed. He noticed everything.

“Did you order yet?” he asks, equally nervous, but with a large grin on his face. His hand reached out to grab a piece of paper on the table thinking it was the menu. Sadly, it was not. You giggle slightly at his awkward expressions as he slid it back to where he got it from.

“That’s the placemat,” you inform him. “They were planning to give us the menu when you came.”

He cringes at himself. ‘Why do I always find a way to fuck things up?’ he cries in his mind. Guanheng thought he could’ve introduced himself more smoothly.

“Y-yeah,” he scratches the back of his head. “I probably should’ve known that.”

You two sat in silence even as the waitress planted the menu on the table. You let Guanheng order for you, surprised he still remembers your favorite drink. You wonder if his stayed the same too.

“...and I’d like a black coffee,” he smiles widely, bidding the waitress goodbye. He sees the small scowl etched on your face, but doesn’t quite know why. He used to never drink black coffee. It was too bitter for him and he always overreacted when the liquid would touch his tongue. You couldn’t believe that had changed in just a year- just like him.

You inspect his face blankly as he chatters about something nonsensical, trying to fill in the silence that you had left him with. Guanghen’s hair is shorter now, trimmed in a way that highlighted his boyish features perfectly. He wore a dress shirt, cuffed at the elbow. He wouldn't have been caught dead looking so suave in the past, opting for comfortable hoodies and beanies so ill-fitted that they hid his eyes. You were looking at Hendery, a version of him that existed on magazine covers and photo cards. You clutch the ends of your dress. See [Y/N]? He’s fine without you.

He stops his talking when he notices your lack of enthusiasm. You used to love hearing him talk, but you looked at him with such emptiness that he wondered if his voice was grating in your ear. He stares at you too, a sad glint in his eyes. Your face, although beautiful, was tired and sunken. You had a dullness in your complexion. You no longer glowed as you used to when he was yours- or to put it in terms that he liked better- when you were his. You shake him out of his own wallowing thoughts.

“How’s Korea?” you ask, knowing he had been promoting there recently. You hear from his friends that he loves it there, that the European-esque streets of Macau got too boring for him. He liked the hustle and bustle of Seoul, the capital of entertainment and fast-paced living. “Your new album doing well?”

Guanheng is happy that you asked, afraid you had lost interest in his work after the breakup. He was so afraid you had lost interest in him.

“It’s been great!” he nods thoughtfully. “We’re planning something soon, so I only have a week here before I go back. It’s been hectic...”

You purse your lips. It must be rough on him, only getting to stay with his family for such a short period of time. Guanghen must miss it- all of this. The city, the humidity, the people... maybe not you, but maybe the memories that came with the relationship. You sure miss it too.

“How about you?” he breaks the silence, noticing that your glances were drifting off somewhere else. “Anything interesting going on in your life?”

You shake your head and give a fake smile. He hates seeing it. Guanheng would prefer for you to curse him out than for you to act fake towards him. It’s like you couldn’t let your guard down with him... and he used to be the only person you let your guard down with. This wasn’t how usually were, but then again, he hasn’t seen you in a year. Could you have changed so drastically that the sight of his face made you that uncomfortable?

“Nothing notable,” you sigh, staring past him rather than right at him. “I’ve been thinking of moving out of Macau for a fresh start, you know? Somewhere new...”

‘Somewhere that doesn’t remind me of you,’ you say silently to yourself. You see a flicker of a pained expression, but you get distracted when the waitress delivers water to the both of you. You stir the water with the straw, glad you found another distraction to keep yourself from making eye contact with Guanheng.

“I wouldn’t have an excuse to visit,” he says teasingly, but you could feel grit in his tone. “if you weren’t here.”

You blink rapidly, not quite registering his words. What was he saying?

“What about your family? Your friends?” you question. There were a lot of things that came with this city, it’s not like you were the only one living here. You figured you’d be the last thing on his mind these days. Guanheng just shrugs.

“They visit me often,” he sighs. “But you don’t. You never visit.”

He gives a sad chuckle, sipping from his cup lowly. Your mouth opens, but not a sound comes out and so you close it again. How were you supposed to respond? Guanghen sighs at your silence.

“You blocked my number.”

Your heart cracks at the sound of his voice. He played around with the straw, refusing to look at you. He sounded... sad and you wondered if the reason for his sadness was you. Weren’t you usually the reason?

“Guanheng-” “You don’t have to say anything,” he stands up straight, a panicked look on his face. He realized then that he made the atmosphere even tenser than it already was. “I’m not here with any other intentions except to talk to you. I know... I know that...”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t know how to without sounding desperate. ‘[Y/N] I know that it’s been a year, but would you like to start over even though you might not have feelings for me anymore?’ Yeah, no way he would be caught dead saying that out loud- not when you looked at him with such emptiness.

“What’s wrong Hendery?” 

You wonder why the person with the brightest smile in the world had such furrowed brows as he looked into your eyes. And maybe that was your first mistake. Calling him by his stage name. 

“Hendery?” he scoffs.

“I’m sorry,” you say a little shocked at his angry expression. “Did I overstep-”

“Why would you call me that?” he asks with sad eyes. “Why are you treating me like I’m a stranger?”

Your last chance at getting closure and you had said something wrong that made him uncomfortable. You blew it, didn’t you? Of course, how could you be such an idiot?

“I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

“Hendery,” he repeats, still shocked at your words. “You never call me that. Not even when we dated.”

Dated. Past tense. He wasn’t yours anymore and you needed to accept that. Guanheng was right there telling you to. You were out of your mind for thinking this was going to turn out like you expected, that he would walk back into your arms without hesitation.

“I can’t do this,” you say abruptly, standing up from your seat. “Guanheng I’m sorry it was a mistake even meeting up with you.”

“[Y/N]-”

You walk past the table, feeling bad for the cafe workers that were oblivious to your sudden outburst. You took out your wallet from your shoulder bag, setting down cash to make up for the food that hadn’t arrived at your table. The worker stared at you with large eyes.

“Ma’am-” 

You were already out the door, tears threatening to spill over. Guanheng came to talk, came to have a chat with an old friend that happened to be his ex-girlfriend and all he got was an awkward conversation that showed how broken you were without him. You walk and walk, missing the bus stop that you were supposed to wait at until you hear rapid footsteps behind you.

“[Y/N] wait-”

Guanheng wraps his fingers around your elbow and pulls you to face him. You couldn’t bear to look at him, staring at your feet rather than his face.

“Just let me walk you to the bus stop. It’s dangerous for you to walk alone,” he says, the hand that was on your elbow was shaking. “I’m sorry for acting weird back there. It wasn’t even something serious and I freaked out over nothing-” “No,” you say shaking your head, pulling his hand away from you. He felt empty now that you were out of his reach. “I was the one that overreacted.”

“Don’t,” he says sadly. “Don’t apologize to me.”

You finally gather the guts to look up at him directly, but you regret it almost immediately. You notice up close that he’s still the scared kid who couldn’t believe he was called in for an audition by a massive foreign company. It makes you want to embrace him, comfort him from all his worries, and tell him that it’ll be okay. Except it isn’t. It hasn’t been for a while.

—

Under a flickering streetlight, you sit at the bus stop’s bench with tense shoulders. He sits farther away from you, careful of the watchful gazes from the public and any sneaky cameras around patiently waiting for him to mess up.

“I miss taking bus rides late at night,” he admits, not looking at you in fear of people watching. “It feels different somehow.”

You smile sadly.

“Yeah. We used to ride one from school together.”

He nods, biting the inside of his cheek. Words used to flow naturally when he was with you, but he had to go and mess it up at the cafe by feeling offended over something that was trivial. So what if you called him by his stage name? It's been a year since he’s last seen you- of course, you’d have been more cautious about what to call him. He was stupid, so hopelessly stupid.

“I miss the rivers too,” he mutters. “I miss those overpriced boat rides tourists would pay for.”

He chuckles sadly, reminiscing of a time when you had gone with him. When you were his and he was yours.

‘Most importantly I miss you,’ he thinks to himself, but he balls his hand into a fist before he could say anything else. You hated this, hated that he always held back before saying the most important thing.

“Guanheng,” you start, heart beating rapidly from your chest. “Why did you want to see me?”

His eyes waiver and you could see it glisten in this light. Did you say something that made him uncomfortable yet again?

“I just,” he swallows, not finding the right words, “wanted to see if you were doing okay.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he replies, “I feel like you’re doing fine.”

‘Without me,’ he screams in his head. Guanheng doesn’t notice you bowing your head or the tears that had started to form in your eyes. He was too caught up in his own tears that threatened to spill over, but he convinced himself to hold it in. 

“Well, I’m not,” you broke out with a cry, already knowing you were past looking pathetic. You let the tears fall onto your lap. He doesn’t notice at first, but Guanheng snaps his head to you, no longer caring about his surroundings. He slides closer, patting you on the back.

“What's wrong?” he asks worriedly. “Did I say something again?”

“No,” you say, looking up at him and he swore his heart sunk at that moment. Even when you broke up with him your eyes never looked this hurt. Guanheng didn’t even know he had that effect on you anymore. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Well obviously I did if you look like this right now,” he says angrily, more at himself than at you. He wipes away the tears from your eyes, but it only made you wail harder. He was still so good at comforting people, still so gentle. You wished that he wouldn’t stare at you with such caring eyes and give you false hope- hope that he wanted you back just as much as you wanted him. It wasn’t right to be feeling this way when you were the one that broke up with him. You had no right.

“I’m so sorry,” you cry out, holding onto his arms to steady yourself. 

“What are you sorry for?” he asks worriedly. His eyes, too, were turning red.

“For ignoring you when you needed me most.”

A silence falls between you two and his grip on you tightens. This was a conversation you two should’ve had a year ago. He didn’t quite know why it was being brought up now, but at least now he can ask what he’s been dying to figure out.

“Why did you block me?” he questions solemnly.  “Why did you agree to be friends and then just cut me off like that?”

You purse your lips.

“I’m sorry for-”

“Please,” he begs, hands letting go of you. “Answer me just this once.”

You try to gather yourself but fail miserably. How could you when this was potentially the last time you’d ever see Guanheng again? 

“I was scared,” you answer truthfully.

“Of what?”

You take a deep breath and sigh.

“That you might hate me.”

Guanheng tips your head to face him, a serious look on his face.

“I’d never hate you.”

He looked at you with such softness- the kind you haven’t felt in so long.  At that moment you could trust him, at that moment you felt like everything would be okay. 

‘It’s alright if he does,’ you think to yourself. If he hates you then fine, but you needed to tell him one last time. Then there’d be no regrets. Maybe then you’d have the guts to finally leave, start anew in a place that didn’t remind you so much of him, but that’s probably impossible to do because Hendery was the sun itself, and you were just you.

“I still love you,” you whisper solemnly, “and I hated that you let me go so easily when it was so hard for me to let go of you.”

His mouth falls open and you swear you see hurt in his eyes, so you turn away. Regret always came after your worst decisions.

“You thought I let you go easily?” 

A stray tear had fallen down his cheek.

“I’m so sorry I-”

“Stop being sorry,” he pleads. “I hate hearing you apologize when it was my fault too.”

You look up at him, confused.

“I should’ve fought harder for us,” he continues. “I should have told you that I loved you back then and that I could’ve made it work. I can’t believe you thought I was okay with breaking up. I said we should stay friends just so I could have an excuse to talk to you again and you kept ignoring my texts and I thought I was being annoying and-”

He always used to ramble a lot when he was anxious. Guanheng takes a deep breath and puts your hands in his. The bus was not coming anytime soon.

“What I’m trying to say is,” he mutters. “I still love you too.”

You shake your head, refusing to believe his words. He just felt sorry for you, he didn’t mean-

“I tried dating other people,” he says matter-of-factly, breaking your heart a tiny bit because you hadn’t. You never tried to venture past him because it had always been him, always. 

“Guanheng, why-”

“But it just didn’t work out,” he cuts you off, swallowing his saliva nervously, “because they weren’t you.”

You open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off again.

“I sent you text after text asking you to take me back,” he sighed sadly. “But I never sent them because I knew you wouldn’t even see them anyway. I told the guys about you and they said it was a lost cause, that I should move on.”

“But you didn’t,” you whisper, touched by his words. Guanheng shakes his head.

“I didn’t,” he smiles as he intertwines his fingers within yours. “And maybe it’s messed up to say this, but I’m glad you didn’t either.”

You laugh with him, the tears dried by now. You look at him, his eyes crinkling  so beautifully as he smiles. 

The bus came seconds after under the flickering street light where you two share a chaste kiss. His lips tasted the same and you can’t help but grin.

It was still him. It was still Guanheng.

—

He walks with you, his hand bumping into yours one too many times that he just held yours in his. It didn’t feel real, being so close to him again. Maybe you had gone through hurdles to get to where you two were now, but at least he was back where he wanted to be- by your side. You two talk about anything and everything and let a comfortable silence fall in between you two when there wasn’t a need for conversation. 

Guanheng asks you what you watch recently. Netflix documentaries. You ask him what songs he listens to nowadays? You cringe when he says Justin Bieber. He laughs when you laugh, walks at the same pace as you, calls you pet names. It’s like he never left, but you knew that in a week from now, he will leave. And maybe you’ll go back to wallowing in your own sadness again.

You’re already at the steps leading to your house, but he refuses to let you go, so you let him inside. He smiles at the lack of change.

“My stuff’s still here,” he says in awe, picking up the small robot figurine that was propped up on your coffee table. You fluster at his words.

“I didn’t have the heart to throw them away,” you mutter. He smiles at you.

“Do you still have my clothes here?” he asks. You panic.

“Oh, do you want them? I can go-”

“So I can stay the night then, right?” he asks seriously. You wonder if he thinks himself a comedian. You punch him in the arm with a puff of your breath.

“We haven’t even seen each other for more than a day and you-”

“Not like that,” he chuckles, realizing what he had implied with his statement. “I just want to sleep here. With you. Innocently. 

You stare up at him, unconvinced.

“Aren’t you worried that I’ll get kidnapped?” he whines, giving you those puppy dog eyes that you missed so much. You miss him so much.

You click your tongue at him, walking to your bedroom as he follows right behind. You scathe through your closet, pulling out the comfy clothes he always wore. You could never admit to him that you’ve been sleeping in them for the past year since he was gone. He takes them from you.

“Then I’ll go change,” he says with a cheeky smile. You roll your eyes, getting dressed for bed as well. Guanheng takes a seat on your bed and lays down next to you. He watches you silently for a while before he starts stroking your hair.

“Move to Seoul with me,” Guanheng jokes casually. You take him seriously for a second, but notice the Cheshire grin on his face and decide to play along.

“I don’t know anyone there,” you pout, squeezing his hand lightly.

“You know me.”

You roll your eyes.

“You know that’s not enough,” you scoff. “I need a job, I’ll miss my family and-”

Why were you taking this so seriously? Your face heats up with embarrassment. How could you let yourself be carried away by his simple teasing?

He smiles at you, patting your head softly.

“Then, I’ll just keep coming back to visit, I guess,” he replies. “Unless you’re still planning to leave?”

You pondered for a bit. You did need a change of view, a change of pace. You had spent a year in this apartment wallowing in self-pity. It wouldn't be so bad to move somewhere new, would it?

“If I go to Seoul,” you start off hesitantly, “What does that mean for us?”

He looks at you, confused. The atmosphere had turned somber without him noticing.

“What do you mean?”

You hesitate to ask, still confused as to where he stands. Dating an idol was hard, you knew that. Did he?

“Will I be your girlfriend again?”

He scoffs.

“I thought that was a given.”

You smile, but there was a hint of sadness in your eyes.

“I’m not good at being there for you, Guanheng,” you admit. “I have so many flaws and you have to put up with so many of them-”

“You put up with mine,” he says, inching closer to you. You shake your head.

“I’m not a good girlfriend.”

He shoots you a glare, pulling you into his arms and burying his face into your hair. Guanheng hated in when you talked about yourself like this.

“You don’t have to be,” he says. “I want you to be [Y/N], not just my girlfriend. You just have to be okay. I want you to be okay.”

You feel the prick of tears in your eye and nod into his chest. You need to trust him. You have to.

“I’ll try,” you say, drifting off into sleep. “This time I’ll try.”

And this time he won’t let go.

—

A/N: Super hard writing this because it’s been like uhhhh more than a year, but I’m glad I got to do it. Thank you @iron-lix​ for commissioning this and being so sweet and patient. I hope this was up to your expectation! Check out her blog for cute WayV fics!

I’ll be starting on my drabble game after I finish my last two commissions. Writers block is starting to get to me guys, so I’ll try to pace myself better in these next few days. Again thank you to everyone for being so kind in your messages and asks to me. I really feed off the positive vibes, you guys really know how to make me feel special T^T

give me a coffee?

#hendery #hendery angst #hendery scenario #huang guanheng #guanheng #wong kunhang #kunhang #wayv #way angst #way drabble #hendery drabble #nct #nct drabble #not angst #nct scenarios #way scenarios #wayv imagines #nct imagines #angst #nct fanfic #hendery x you #hendery x reader #wayv blurb #hendery blurb #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #cpop scenarios #cpop angst #hendery fluff

[itsamejin]

Omg easy reached 1000 notes 🥺 im about to cry

[itsamejin]

hey! i'm just curious on which country you are from. 🙂 it's okay if you don't want to say it. i'm just curious haha btw i really love your works!

I live in the USA :) and thank you so much!!

[itsamejin]

Thank you so much for answering. Well, what about Yoongi? In future, will he ever dwell on his actions and miss Y/N? Was there never a moment where he missed her or wanted her back or tried to contact her? And people say "once a cheater, always a cheater, if he did it with you, he will do it to you also". Was that applicable for him? In the future did he cheat on Jieun?

He definitely has missed [Y/N] and thought of her a lot, but it's not like a feeling of lost love you know? It's just regret of how the relationship ended, regret that he lost a friend along with a lover. The only thing he's done to contact her were through the flowers he'd send every year (which actually happened irl to the person I know) and it was never meant to signal that he wanted her back, but rather that he was sorry. Flowers convey that message in a more impactful way than say, bombarding someone with text messages. It's a very subtle way to try and get closure. He'd stop sending them after he invited [Y/N] to the wedding, though, knowing full well that it might have sent mixed signals.

And I don't think he'd have cheated on Jieun. The main thing I wanted to come across in Leave Me was that [Y/N] and Jieun were very similar people. He had a hard time choosing who he wanted to be with because they both memorialized a part of his life- [Y/N] in his youth and Jieun when he's older. Yoongi grew better as a person before he got back together with Jieun and that's kind of the main reason why I think he wouldn't break her heart again. He saw your reaction and knew that it wasn't worth it. Yoongi had lost you and he isn't planning on Iosing Jieun either. And I also don't think Jieun would have gotten back together with him if he didn't already show signs of growth. He had 2 years to think about what he's done and I don't think he'd ever risk it again.

#ask itsamejin

[itsamejin]

DRABBLE REQUEST: CLOSED

[itsamejin]

One of your followers said she wishes that Y/N also got her happy ending. I also want to know if she got her happy ending. Like I have some questions but I definitely don't want to bug you since it's an old story and it would be annoying to dwell on it. But if possible, let me know if you could like give some closure after what happened. Did she go to the wedding or met anyone?

Hmm so I don't think I've ever said this before but Leave Me is loosely based around someone I know in real life who dealt with their ex cheating and finding out that he was getting married to the same girl a few years later. She is still in the process of getting her happy ending so I wouldn't say [Y/N] will exaxtly get hers. I do know that in my story, [Y/N] would not have gone to the wedding, even if she had gotten over Yoongi. It would be foolish on her part since their is just too much baggage there. I also wrote in the first part that [Y/N] wasn't really close to the members or even any of Yoongi's friends. She'd have no one to talk to if she went and that would make it all the more awkward if she was there.

I imagine a few more years down the line, [Y/N] falls in love with someone ordinary, someone very unlike Yoongi so that she could have a fresh start. She lives peacefully and learns to thaw away the trust issues that came with her past relationship. I just imagine her staring at a photo of Yoongi one day and thinking, "I made the right decision" and getting on with her life. This might not be the answer people want or expect but it is the ending I envisioned. Take it with a grain of salt and feel free to ask me more questions if you'd like! I promise it's not annoying :))

#ask itsamejin

[itsamejin]

God, Leave me is so good. It's 12:00 am. And I am crying under bed and when I say cry it means ugly crying with snot and all. Oh god you are such a good writer. Thank you for the story. I hope Y/N also gets her happy ending. Fuck, this is so sad. I can't even express in right words what I am feeling. I hope I never fall in love.

Omg every time you guys say that you cry about my stories I get so sad :(( I’m so happy that my stories are able to bring out so much emotion but I feel so bad T^T Falling in love is a great thing (though I do agree that heartbreak sucks)  Don’t let my stories skew what love is, you should definitely not settle for a guy like Yoongi in Leave Me irl >:(

[itsamejin]

angst drabble game (scenario + quote)

Since I couldn’t find one specific to my tastes, I made a purely angst drabble game! 

Guidelines:

1. Choose one or two quotes from the list below along with its corresponding number in your request.

2. Be specific in what you want! Let me know if you want a specific scenario or au, I’ll try my best to give you what you want :)

3. I will do any genre or au prompt as long as it’s not nsfw! (if you’re using this as a template feel free to change this rule)

4. My word limit is 1k.

5. You may request a member of any idol group, I do not mind. (Maybe even multiple members if you’re feeling saucy...)

Quote List:

1. “If I keep loving you, maybe you'll eventually crack and end up loving me too.”

2. “You deserve more respect than that.”

3. “I wish I realized what I had when you were mine.”

4. “I thought loving you would be enough.”

5. “What’s wrong?” “Everything.”

6. “I would never lie to you.”

7. “Why am I not enough?”

8. “I see how it is.” 

9. “I thought you’d be the one to save me.”

10. “How are you able to say goodbye so easily?”

11. “Don’t forget about me.”

12. “Please don’t say it.”

13. “I didn’t mean anything to you, did I?”

14. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

15. “Why do you always come back?”

16. “You sacrificed nothing to be with me and I sacrificed everything.”

17. “Do you ever feel like you aren’t the person you’re supposed to be?”

18. “I just wanted to kiss you one last time.”

19. “Yes. I remember.”

20. “You’re supposed to love me.”

21. “I’ll protect you.”

22. “If I wanted to get over you, I would’ve done that by now.”

23. “So you have a kid now, huh?”

24. “I am happy with you.” “If you were then you wouldn’t have done what you did.”

25. “You’re in love with someone else.”

26. “I’m scared of you.”

27. “You either trust me or you don’t.”

28. “If I could turn back time then I would.”

29. "I’m sorry for that night.”

30. "You forgot, didn’t you?”

31. “You say that you need me but act like you don’t.”

32. “I don’t belong to you.”

33. “I’m always the one in the wrong, aren’t I?”

34. “What did I do that made you hate me?”

35. “Just back off.”

36. “Running away from your problems isn’t going to solve anything.”

37. “Until how long are you gonna act clueless for?”

38. “I don’t regret being with you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

39. “I should’ve known better.”

40. “You’re going to leave me. Again.”

41. “I’m fine.”

42. “There was a time when I thought I loved you, but not anymore.”

43. “Just call me back. Please.”

44. “You’re fucking insane.”

45. “To be honest, I don’t know. I really don’t.”

46. “Don’t you think it’s time for you to start acting like an adult?”

47. “You burned me out.”

48. “Before you say sorry, just know I won’t accept your apology.”

49. “You used to be the only reason why I woke up in the morning and now I can’t seem to stand the sight of you.”

50. “I just... fell out of love.”

#im only accepting 10 #1k special #drabble game #drabble list #prompt list #writing prompts #drabbles #kpop drabbles #kpop #writing game #bts drabble #bangtan drabble #bts drabbles #seventeen drabble #seventeen drabbles #svt drabble #nct drabble #nct drabbles #wayv drabble #wayv drabbles #bts #bangtan boys #bts angst #seventeen angst #nct angst #way angst #angst

[itsamejin]

Guuurrrlll forget jungkook y'all can find yourself a better man 💅

LOL fr I hope none of you guys are getting played like this in real life. Y'all deserve more than that��</3

#ask itsamejin