itstartswiththeeyes

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Absent

Sounds of ringing and static keep me company in this blurry world. Cold, alone, and sad is this little boy I call myself. Blurry faces and muted voices are all that remains of the encounter that was a few seconds ago. I have no name, for I can't grasp it. I have no wants or needs for I can't achieve it. I can't even remember to exist.

#blackcat #adhd brain #autism #why do i forget #i cant help it #I can't have what i want #i miss you #can't remember

[itstartswiththeeyes]

In Case I Forget

In case I forget, I love you.

In case I forget, I'm sorry.

In case I forget, I miss you.

In case I forget, hold me more.

In case I forget, I love your face.

In case I forget, I love your voice.

In case I forget the most simple of tasks, please be kind to me.

In case I forget composure, please be patient with me.

In case I forget to stop crying, be gentle.

Please...

#blackcat #im sorry #i forget #autism #adhd brain

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Hiraeth

I miss a place I can't quite put my finger on. A deep longing burns in my stomach as I think of the place that is not here. A warm place that I have never known. It is all that this child left out in the cold could ever ask for.

#blackcat #i was never one to like the cold #right where you left me #where is it #where is my mind #where is home #she wishes you were gone

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Violent Cries

It sounds horrible, but it's how I feel. It's loud I know, but I don't know how else to tell you. There's a story that's left untold if you listen well enough. No, you can't hear it, so why are you here anyway.?

#i'm just a black cat #bleeding out #stop blaming me

[itstartswiththeeyes]

I am a child made up of unfortunate circumstances. I have yet to live and have yet to die. Mommy.. Daddy..? Why are you hitting me? Why are you yelling at me? Why? Why does it hurt so much?

I am a person who is made up of the world, I have never lived and I wait to die. Nothing you do will hurt me, I am numb. You will never.... how dare you?

I am a child, born from an unfortunate accident. Mommy's sleeping and so is Daddy. Mommy.. Mommy.. wake up.. I'm scared.. I'm cold.. I'm hungry.....

Mommy...?

#black cat #why did you do it #why did you do this to me #why did you hurt me #she's dead and you killed her #it's all of your fault #she hates you #she wishes you were gone #go away

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Flutter

Every time I open this door a feeling wells up in my chest, hoping that you would be there. I get disappointed when I can't find your presence. I only met you in notes, but it feels like I know you. Can you meet me in the couryard and paint the blades of grass red with me?

#blackcat #come back #what has become of me #what have you done #why are you here #red is such a pretty color #who are you?

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Blood

It's pouring out of me, the failed hope. I didn't want it, but I was still prepared. It hurts when I bleed, but I see no wounds. I feel empty but it's still pouring. Get out of me. Once I started expecting you, you became unpredictable. Fooling me every time. Stop, I told you I don't want it. But still.. I bleed..

#blackcat #get this thing out of me #blood #bleeding out #grab me by my organs #it hurts #it hurts so much #why do you hurt me #this isn't funny #it's not funny anymore #there's blood on the floor #but I don't pass out

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Heart

What did you do to me? I'm not used to these feelings. I wish this feeling would disappear, like a fox in a blizzard. It's cold here. I don't know you, so why do I crave your warmth?

#blackcat #it's raining #it's raining somewhere else

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Go away

Don't touch my bottle of tears, I'm collecting them for a more convenient time. Don't look at my scars, they're still undesirable. Do not touch my delicacies, they're not for you.

Go away, creep.

Who likes this sort of stuff anyway?

#blackcat #black cat #why do i do this to myself #go away #leavenotrace #leave me be #you hurt me #you should be punished #all of you

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Parasite

What am I to you? Just your toy, your prey? I have a monster inside. If you saw it you would throw me away. I don't feel anything anymore. I don't want you anymore. But I can't let go of you.

#i'm just a black cat #blackcat #black cat #parasite #don't leave me #dont leave us #i hate you #i want you #i feel empty #i feel broken #i am gone #it's making me sick #im scared #get this thing out of me #rip my face off and eat it.

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Have you

Have you ever missed me?

No, I was never gone.

I've always been here, waiting, bleeding.

Have you ever noticed?

Have you ever noticed that I was watching?

Watching you?

Watching for the worst moment to appear.

Have you..

Have you ever hated me?

Do you hate me?

I love you.

Master.

#blackcat #black cat #master #why #do you hate me #do you miss me #did you ever want me? #I'm sorry #I'm just a black cat #come back my love

[itstartswiththeeyes]

When the cat calls, they run and hide.

When the cat purrs, they purr back.

When the cat growls, you don't say a word.

And when the cat's claws dig into the skin, cut you, touch you, They look away.

#blackcat #black cat #black and white #stop it #make it stop #stop touching me #stop looking at me like that #i know what you said #stop blaming me #i am on medication because of you #i want to disappear #i want to sleep #i want to cry #i want to break free #i want more than this

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Snow

Soft and white yet so cold, cold enough to infect, cold enough to kill. You lie there with a frozen smile, I know you don't feel anything. I know you are not there. So rest apon your icy bed as the clouds tuck you in, let the wind be your melancholic lullaby as you drift away into eternity.

#blackcat #goodbye #poets on tumblr #poetry #snow #goodnight #goodnight my child #merry christmas #my gift #christmas #go apon your way #I was never one to like the cold #im not like you #i miss you #im going insane

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Space

The fearsome darkness and suffocating air, you're not claustrophobic but you feel trapped inside the endless stars.

#blackcat #black #black cat #black and white #poetry #poets on tumblr #baby the stars shine bright #outer space #spacecraft #i feel like im suffocating #suffering #suffocation #darkness #dark #dark fantasy #claustrophobic

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Insanity

Slipping into madness is easy, getting out of it is the true difficult task.

#blackcat #black #black cat #black and white #blackman #im going insane #im going to cry #i'm going down with this ship #i'm going to hell #i'm going to do it #i'm going to scream #im going under #help me #save me

[itstartswiththeeyes]

Tree

We're the same, you and I. We're the fruits from the same tree, but we look so different. We're cousins, siblings, twins..... aren't we?

#black cat #tree #blackcat #black #black and white #twins #fruit #what happened to us? #where did you go #wheretofindme

[itstartswiththeeyes]

The Beauty In The Darkness

What so many people are commonly scared of is such a beautiful thing. A place and time for people to rest and prepare for the new day. A time for the moon and stars to play.

#blackcat #black and white #dark #dark aesthetic #darkness #play #midnight #stars #moon #moonlight #sleep #cant sleep #while you were sleeping