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j2lx · 1 year

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last act. / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, angst, hurt no comfort, bad ending, blood, aki watches you die in his arms. word count: 3.4k

The first thing Aki notices is how you've stopped moving. He can't see your blurry figure in the corner of his eye anymore, when usually, you're fighting right at his side.

With tired arms and a precise blade, he slices through the last of the devil's proxy — weaker, low rate devils that the commanding devil has taken control over — but not without his sword shattering clean in half on the final devil's armored backside. In one swift movement, Aki stabs the devil clean through the middle with the blunt remnants of his broken sword, burying the hilt so deep in the devil's stomach it'd be impossible to tug it out. Not like it matters, anyways; without the rest of the blade, the weapon is damn near unusable.

Purple-hued guts splatter all over his sneakers, the devil's body slumps, and Aki catches his breath, placing his hands on his knees, his chest heaving. His lungs feel sore, his limbs are beginning to ache. Sweat drips from his brow, and he hastily wipes it with the back of his hand, he swipes the trickle of blood that leaks from his nose with his thumb.

He feels and surely looks like a fucking mess. This mission wasn't supposed to be so draining. It was supposed to be for one weak devil, certainly easy enough for two hunters to take out, not for twenty nearly unstoppable devils. Apparently, the Nature Devil is far craftier than anyone initially anticipated. The parasitic mushrooms sprouting from the heads of the droves he slew is a clear sign of its influence.

Either way, his head is pounding too much right now for him to consider where the hell all those devils came from, nor for him to wrap his brain around why they were tough enough to nearly do him in. When you both get out of here, the first thing he's doing is finding whatever imbecile submitted the report for this so-called "easy" assignment. They'll be in this building on cleaning duty for the next week.

But he's alive. None of that matters now. The devils were all slain, he's alive, and you're —

The next thing Aki notices is your crumpled body, collapsed twenty-something feet away when he turns his head to search for you. There's something sticking out of your back, a huge twist of wood and leaves, with buds sprouting from the source; the vile aftermath of the Nature Devil, surely. It looks sharp. You must have been stabbed with it at some point in the fight when Aki was stupid enough to look away.

His eyes go wide. His breath is shallow, and it catches in his throat. He forces himself to stand, nearly stumbling when he manages to regain his footing.

There's no time for him to care about his own injuries; Aki wills his exhausted legs to move, despite how badly they threaten to buckle. He ignores the ache in his side, no doubt caused by a broken bone or a cracked rib, no matter how much it hurts. There's a sting in his ankle every time he puts weight on it, but he forgets about the pain so he can rush over to you as fast as he can, and as he falls down to his knees at your side, that's when Aki notices the blood.

So much blood, your blood, forming a deep pool around you like a casket, soaking into the fabric of your shirt to stain it a vivid shade of pure red. When Aki's eyes flicker from your wound to your face, he sees your expression contorted in pain, your nose crinkled, your eyelids fluttering. There's an empty, listless sort of look in the back of your pupils, and when your gaze meets his own, it makes Aki's heart sink into the pit of his stomach.

"Shit, shit-" Aki reaches up, fumbling to take off his suit jacket. Another swear is bitten from his tongue when his hands are too shaky to undo one of the buttons. Once they've been unbuttoned enough, he rushes to tear it from his shoulders.

With one hand he lifts your body, and with the other he snakes his jacket underneath, tying the sleeves around your back as best as he can manage. He pulls you a little closer, and he shifts so he can hold you in his arms, your head propped up. The crisp, fancy fabric of his familiar suit jacket feels smooth under his skin when he runs his hand over it, and with his palm, he presses down, applying firm pressure onto your wound, eliciting a sharp cry of pain from your mouth.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Aki apologizes quickly, and he relieves a bit of the pressure, taking his hand away.

He shouldn't look closer, he knows he shouldn't because he isn't going to like what he sees, but in a moment he finds himself pushing the jacket out of the way anyways, pulling your blood-soaked shirt out from where it's still tucked into your slacks, and tugging it up to expose your stomach.

He takes a deep breath to prepare himself, and then he looks down. Jesus Christ. Bile rises so thickly in his throat it almost chokes him, he feels like throwing up and breaking down all at once. It doesn't look good, but it somehow manages to be even worse than he was expecting, and even more horrible than anything he thinks he's ever seen before.

Aki pulls your shirt back down, bunching up his jacket as best he can, before his hand returns to press against your wound. "It's okay," He winces, and apologizes again the second he hears you scream, his voice gentle and deep, "I'm sorry, I have to do this. Keep looking at me, don't close your eyes, alright? Can do that for me?"

You're giving it your best effort; Aki can tell by the way your eyelids flicker as you fight to keep them from closing. But you're starting to cry. From the pain or the fear, Aki doesn't know, but he watches as tears well up in your eyes until they stream from your cheeks, until you're sobbing and hiccuping, until your breath comes out in weak, meager gasps and your voice is muttered as desperate little begs of his name.

Aki… A-Aki… Aki — Stuttered and slurred, your mouth barely able to say each syllable, repeating his name like it's the only word you know. Like you need him, like you're counting on him. Your lips quiver and your chest feels like hell and blood boils in the back of your throat and fuck, Aki's trying.

"I know, I know, don't cry," He answers, and he brings his hand up for only a moment, brushing strands of messy hair from your face, and wiping your tears from your cheeks with the one spot on the back of his hand that isn't covered in blood.

Aki, it hurts.

Your voice is a little quieter, and the way you speak this time, so lifelessly and faint; it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up, it gives his hands a distinct shake. It hurts him too.

"I know, it's okay, everything will be okay." Aki places his hand on your cheek, and this time, when he holds it tenderly, he doesn't care how his fingers and his palm smear patches of red over your skin. "Just breathe, just take deep breaths, deep breaths in and out. In, and then out, alright?"

His words cause your breathing to slow, but only just a little. Aki rests your head in his lap while he uses his free hand to feel out your pulse; he feels the unsteady beat beneath his fingertips, and he knows his heart is pounding at least ten times faster. It aches in his chest, it rattles his broken ribcage and echoes in his ears each time it thumps.

With a quiet gasp, he presses his palm into your side firmer, you immediately yelp and screw your eyes shut. Your hand flies up to grip his wrist, spreading blood onto his sleeve.

"It's okay, it's okay, shh…" Aki coos, but his voice is starting to shake, his words are getting weaker. He's beginning to sound unsure of himself without even realizing, like his reassurance is not only for you but also to keep himself sane: "I know it hurts, I'm sorry, I know, but it'll be alright, you're gonna be okay. You'll be okay, you'll… you'll…"

Aki's been here before. He knows this, the feeling of watching someone die. The smell of blood and the taste of bile in his mouth is as familiar to him as a second home. He's had this exact scene play out in the form of a nightmare, he's thought about what he'd do if he lost you when he's smoking on the balcony at the ungodly hours of the night.

His own brain and foolish emotions have put him through this experience tens, maybe hundreds of times, not only with you, but with everyone else he's come to lose. He thinks of them every time he wakes up in the morning, he feels haunted by the thought of death wherever he goes.

But now, it's happening, it's really happening, everything he feared of with you is really happening right before his eyes and Aki doesn't know what he's supposed to do about it.

Perhaps there isn't anything he can do. The two of you went on this mission alone, so there's no use calling for help. He's pressing onto your wound as firmly as he can with his trembling hand and weak fingers, but it's still bleeding, you're bleeding out in his arms and he can't do anything.

Your blood is starting to soak through his jacket. It's warm on his palm, it's caked into his skin, deep and thick and crimson. It's under his fingernails, it's pooling around his knees and drenching his slacks. You've stopped crying, and your whimpers of pain have quieted, even when Aki shoves his blood-soaked palm harder against your injury. He calls out your name once, twice, three times, but you don't answer.

Perhaps there's really nothing he can do to save you. You're slowly dying, and as much as Aki doesn't want to admit it, as much as he wants to bury it down and pretend something like this isn't happening to the only person he has left, the only one he's begged for the universe not to take away from him, deep down, he knows that it's true, and perhaps all he can do is watch.

Maybe the only thing he can do now is hold you and count the seconds until you disappear because he failed to protect you, and now there's nothing that can be done. And it's when that thought hits him, it's with this simple realization — This is what gets him to finally break.

"No, no…" Aki's voice is frail and fragile. He rocks you a little in his arms, tears prick at the corner of his eyes. "No, no, no, don't do this, you can't, you can't. Not like this."

Not like this, not here. You can't die in this horrible place, your body amongst the rotting corpses of devils, your clothes stained with their insides and your knuckles bruised from fighting them off. You can't die like this, in his arms, when Aki isn't ready to lose you, when he hasn't told you that he loves you, when there's so much he still has to do and say and when you're the only reason why he hasn't given up.

You're why he's been smoking less, you're why he's taken less contracts with devils and accepted more easy missions. You're the reason behind why he's written his resignation over and over and over again, even though he'll always crumple it and toss it in the trash without ever turning it in.

Aki knows if he quit, you'd quit too, and maybe that's the reason why he's thought of giving up on devil hunting. Because if you quit, you'll be safe, and if something happened to you, how would he live with himself?

He wouldn't, and you don't deserve this, you deserve a quiet life free from the pain and the hurt. You deserved to die a normal death, and now you're going to be just another name in the obituaries, just another life taken by the same thing that took Aki's family away from him, and your family away from you. He should have turned in that resignation paper a long, long time ago.

Aki doesn't think he deserves this, either. He's lost so much. He can't lose you. Not you.

And he's aware he's long since given up — Aki has stopped pressing on your wound in favor of bringing you closer, wrapping his arms around you and holding you like your vessel is what ties him to the ground. He knows it's over, but he still begs with a weak voice and even weaker heart: "Please, don't leave me. I-I can't lose you, please, just please."

In the end, his pleas mean nothing. You're starting to fade, your breath comes out shallower, your palm feels cold to the touch when Aki desperately grabs it. He grips your hand so tight it would hurt if you weren't already numb, your fingers curl around his knuckles weakly.

The weight on his shoulders is getting heavier, and it's growing more difficult to hold you up. The last of his strength is finally chipped away, and the few stray tears he's unable to keep in turn to hopeless sobs that shake the entirety of his frame. Aki cries into your shoulder, he feels like he can hardly breathe. The world is collapsing in on itself, and he's at the center of it all.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." It's hard to speak when his tears are choking him, but still, he continues, "It's- it's my fault. It's all my fault. What do I do, God, what am I supposed to do!?"

If he was stronger, if he had acted more quickly, if he hadn't turned his head away from you, if he'd been paying more attention, if he just did something, maybe he could have saved you. He should have saved you. It should have been him instead. If only he could trade his life for your own.

You reply with one last meager utterance of his name. It pains him to hear you say it like this, your voice so broken, so different from the way you usually call his name in a way that makes his heart skip like nothing else he's ever felt before, and like no-one else has ever done. But knowing that it might be the last time he'll ever hear it feels even worse.

Trying to memorize the sound of your dying voice choking out his own name, just so he won't end up forgetting it when you're gone is worse than a punch to the gut. It's his heart being ripped open.

Aki speaks gently through his tears: "I'm here, I'm right here. I know, please, I know it hurts so much, just," He grips your hand a little tighter, he exhales a shaky breath. He comes to terms with everything.

"It won't hurt anymore soon, okay?"

For you, it won't, but for him? This might just be what puts him in his grave.

And he's not stupid, he's never been stupid. Aki knew something like this was a possibility, he knew it even when he was letting himself grow closer to you. All the nights you spent together, all the laughter and all the times he spent falling for you. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he was telling himself that this would be the outcome.

Your hands in his and your lips on his own and your voice in his ear were all premonitions of what was to come. He supposes he was just stupid enough not to listen.

Your body feels limp, your hand is slipping away from his. Aki knows his palms are caked in your blood, his skin stained such a deep shade of crimson he doubts it will ever wash out. He holds you closer, his sobs start to quiet as he focuses on the sound of your breathing.

And even though he's not sure if you'll even hear him, or if it's even worth it, or if it's far too late for this — When he hears you take your final breath, he knows that it is, but even still, he's repeating, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Aki holds you for longer than necessary. You're cold, so cold. He longs to give you some of his warmth. He buries his head in your chest, where the beat of your heart has ceased. He tugs you closer, and when he does, he feels something soft tickle his wrist. There's a moment of hesitation, of swallowing the lump in his throat, before he pulls away and looks down.

Flowers. Petals in shades of white and purple and pink, painted red with droplets of blood, long green stems curling out from beneath the hem of your shirt. Aki tugs your clothing up and out of the way, only to find that they're growing from your body, the roots twisted and turned through the mess of gore in your stomach, seeds sprouting from every inch of flesh; They're consuming you.

With a trembling hand, Aki rubs one of the petals between his fingers, he bites the inside of his cheek and crushes the flower into nothing. They're real, gorgeous and real and wretched, all at once. He wonders what caused them to grow so fast. Was it your blood? His tears?

He isn't given much time to think about it, because his thoughts are interrupted by a noise in the distance. When he looks up, there's a small part of him that hopes it's some sort of help, someone that's come to save him from this hell or someone who's here to tell him this is just a dream. But he knows that's too good to be true.

This noise is too foreign, it sounds like clanking chains and the scrape of metal on metal and the whisper of rustling leaves. The last of his hope is snuffed out, and his suspicions are confirmed when the shadows part, and from them, comes the looming figures of more mushroom-clad devils.

In his chest, Aki's heart beats a little faster. His gaze flickers to your sword, the blade crumbled into dust and smothered in plant life just a few inches away. Then, he looks towards his own, broken inside the body of one of the devil's spawn.

He's long since ran out of contracts to use. In one last effort, while he's still holding onto you, he makes a feeble attempt to try and move, only for the pang in his side to increase exponentially. When he lets go of you for a moment, he's able to make a bit more progress, but the second he's stood, the sharp sting in his foot forces him back down.

Aki stares down at the concrete. He breathes in, breathes out, long and shaky.

In his mind, he thinks of you, he pictures the two of you turning into nothing more than flowers and leaves, your bodies blossoming from the Nature Devil's doing. Woven together, his arms around you, and the roots winding from his heart to yours. In the end, beautiful and blissful is how you'll be found. If that's what's going to happen to him, it doesn't sound too bad.

With a quiet wince of pain, he reaches for your sword, yanking it from the mess of vines. The moment his hand closes around the hilt, the blade starts to crumble more, but his grip remains steadfast. He closes his eyes, and he presses his forehead to yours.

If there's a life after this one, maybe you'll meet there, and maybe that life will take pity on the two of you for choosing to be so cruel this time around. Or maybe you'll both fall into the abyss once again.

"This won't take long." Aki inhales one more deep breath, before he looks up. The devils are starting to get closer; the parasite makes them blind, but surely they can hear him, and they definitely smell the scent of blood.

"I'll be with you soon."

Aki holds your hand as the devils close in.

#another masterpiece by none other than meownotgood #i love this so much ahhhh its so well written #im in love #totally didnt cry while reading this... really...#aki hayakawa x reader #aki x reader #aki hayakawa

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j2lx · 1 year

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runs to hug you ❤️

Happy New Year Mags!!! I love your new Tumblr layout it's so pretty (as all your layouts are <3)

I just wanted to thank you for all your posts, from Aki ramblings to your amazing fan fics! I love all your posts so so much and I feel really happy whenever I read your posts. My Aki brainrot has gotten worse thanks to you, but that's a good thing because now I feel more motivated to write for him ahhhh

But really, thank you for being so cool and funny! I love you and your blog so much 🥹❤️ I hope you'll have a wonderful 2023 full of happiness, joy and of course, Aki. Stay healthy and awesome!

happy new year, thank you so much!! ^^ 💓 and thank you for your kind words and your support, I really appreciate it and it makes me so happy to know you like my content, I'll keep providing fics and posts to fuel your aki brainrot in this coming year 🤲

#I LOVE YOU SO MUCH #Please continue to quench my thirst for the man known as hayakawa aki #ive become something so different #i swear this is not an accurate representation of me (it is)#no you saw nothing in these tags nope im totally sane #aki my beloved

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j2lx · 1 year

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Rainbow After the Storm (Maki x Reader Drabble)

Warnings: angst if you squint (just about being stressed and pressured), mentions of the Zenin clan (in relation to Maki and how they made her feel), overall just fluff about making each other feel better <3

A/n: I… I love this request so muchhhh ahhhhh!!! It's so cute and fluffy… and it's like something I never knew I needed in my life <3 I really love all the Maki requests so I'm hoping to get more from all of you! (I love her)

Ship: Maki Zenin x Gender Neutral!Reader

@nothin-l, here you go! Sorry it took so long for me to finish it 🥲 I hope you enjoy reading it

Being a Jujutsu sorcerer was bad enough on its own, but being a student at the same time? Basically torture. And yet, that's what you had to go through everyday, being a second year student at Jujutsu High. You can't say that you were used to having schedules packed to the brim, or having to receive criticism from the higher ups whenever you completed a mission in a way that they didn't approve of, but you had your girlfriend by your side, and that made everything so much better.

You don't have to say much when you step into your girlfriend's room after a bad day. You'll find Maki on her bed, having already showered a while ago, or sitting in front of her desk, trying to finish an assignment due soon. No matter what she's doing, she's always ready to embrace you and comfort you after a long and tiring day.

The two of you often take the time to shower together before snuggling in bed, holding each other tight. She holds you close to her heart, letting you hear her heartbeat. It was calming, knowing that she was there, right next to you, holding you. You would snuggle into her chest as she strokes your hair gently, allowing you to relax. No words are exchanged, but even so, you feel so assured and safe. She waits for you to speak, waiting for however long, not wanting to press you for information on what was troubling you.

When you eventually open up to her about how bad your day was, she listens quietly before pressing a kiss to the top of your head once you had finished telling her all about it. She cups your face in her hands, and looks into your eyes, telling you about how proud she is, and about how amazing you are. Because more than anything, Maki wants to let you know that you're the number one, the very best in her heart, and even if the day somehow doesn't go your way, she'll be there for you, supporting and rooting for you no matter what.

~♡~♡~♡~

Your girlfriend was no stranger to having bad days either. Days that the higher ups reminded her of how the Zenin clan used to treat her, days that she exhausted herself both physically and mentally with classes, training and missions the whole day. She might not be as expressive as you were about having a bad day, but you've been with her long enough to pick up on the small signs that you need to comfort her.

When Maki has a bad day, you'll drop whatever you were doing just to make sure she's ok. Making sure that she's hydrated, that she has eaten, and more importantly, making sure that you give her the cuddles and reassurance she deserves. Regardless of how busy you are with schoolwork, you always make sure to prioritise your girlfriend whenever she's just not feeling great because of what had happened throughout the day.

You pull her onto your lap after settling onto the bed or the small couch in your room, and let her just close her eyes for a moment. If she falls asleep, it's all well and good. And if she doesn't, you'll wait. You'll wait for as long as it takes for her to open her eyes again, moving to slowly adjust herself to sit on your lap and look at you, before telling you what had happened. You have to admit that it's tough for her, her past still haunting her in the back of her mind as she tries to move on. Going through events that trigger all those bad memories again.

You know you can't do much, that you can't erase those memories from her mind, so you just hold her close. You tell her that she's doing really well, affirming and praising her for being so strong. You wrap your arms around her tighter, hoping that your actions are enough to make her feel better again.

~♡~♡~♡~

Of course, having bad days together was far from uncommon. Considering that the both of you were both second years, you both had the same workload in terms of schoolwork. Both of you were assigned rather tough missions ever since you became second years too, which didn't help with the already stressful circumstances you were in.

Often, the two of you would find yourselves clinging onto each other, not wanting to move at all, after both of you have had a stressful and agonising day. The warmth from each other's bodies were so comforting and just made the both of you feel better. The whole time, none of you spoke, and waited for the other person to talk about their day. But most of the time, you two just spend that time in silence, since you could both guess how the other's day went.

Maki would let you sit on her lap in times like this, and she would stroke your back slowly as a way to help you feel more at ease. You play with Maki's hair at the same time, running your fingers through her soft and smooth hair, untangling any tangles in it as gently as you could. The two of you would usually do that until one of you starts to talk, while the other listens and tries to make them feel more relaxed.

Bad days are plenty, especially when you're both a Jujutsu sorcerer and student at the same time. The world sometimes just isn't on your side, and the day ends on a bitter note. Well, it would if you didn't have your girlfriend to make it all hurt less, to make the day end off just fine, despite all the stress and anxiety you've experienced throughout the day.

Your girlfriend understood you like no other, and vice versa. That's why the two of you would be fine, as long as you were together. Through rain or shine, good or bad, you had each other. And it was just fine that way.

I love Maki so so much ahhhh and I really love writing for her!!! I'm honestly quite pleased at how this one turned out and I hope you enjoyed reading!

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j2lx · 1 year

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how to be happy

Hmm... It's really different for everyone so I can't give you a fixed answer. However, I think that you should find something you enjoy, something that takes the weight off your shoulders and just makes you feel better.

For me, I love listening to music and stargazing every night, just for a short amount of time. Yes it sounds simple, but it's the simple things in life like these that make you happy. Just being able to do something you find relaxing and enjoyable, and doing it as much as you can. As long as you continue to find joy in doing whatever you enjoy, it'll add to your happiness bit by bit.

I can't say I'm much of a help in this kind of thing, but I hope you'll stay happy and find joy in life! 🫶🏻

#J2LX updates!#dreamer's asks <3

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j2lx · 1 year

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stupid word limit :///

anw where was I 😅

I can watch you setting the best sets in all volleyball history 😊

will you share this dream with me 🥺

NUGGET!!! Yeshhhh our vball dream ahhhh!!! I totally didn't have to censor where we're from just because. I'll gladly share this dream with you, it's a dream of mine too yk =P Your bestie here is working hard to gain height and better arm strength on both arms so that I can set better and higher yeshhhh. You'll be the best libero too, I just know it <3 We might not be a setter spiker combo but yk what? Having you hit the ball to me to set is ever better 🥄 So yes, I will gladly share this dream with you ❤️🥹

#J2LX updates!#dreamer's asks <3 #my bestie nugget <3 =)

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j2lx · 1 year

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Megumi Fushiguro as your boyfriend (SFW and NSFW headcanons)

Warnings: (for the SFW section) None honestly it's just soft fluffy stuff, it's mostly Gender Neutral, but implied fem bodied reader for one of the SFW headcanons (on periods =")), NSFW as stated in the title but it will be separated by a pic <3

A/n: AHHHHHH Happy Birthday Megumi my precious baby!!! I love him so so so much I don't even know what to say. He's so cool and I love all his shikigami sm I love animals I love Megumi I-

(Images do not belong to me. All credit goes to Gege Akutami, MAPPA, and everyone involved in the production of Jujutsu Kaisen)

SFW

Megumi… he's such a sweet boyfriend! He always looks out for you and makes sure that you're good as ever, both physically and mentally.

Megumi really loves baking and cooking simple dishes in his free time. He finds it really therapeutic and he does it whenever he has the time. He'll bake the cutest cookies, in the shape of hearts or bunnies, and give them to you after he's done decorating them <3

The two of you definitely have matching demon dogs slippers! You bought two pairs of slippers, one white and one black, and then gave one of each colour to Megumi. The two of you spent the whole day decorating the slippers to look just like his demon dogs and he even summoned them for reference on how some of their features looked!

You also bought him a bunny onesie as a joke for his birthday once… and he actually loved how comfortable it was! And of course he got all flustered when you started calling him "cute" and "adorable", but he secretly loves it when you say such things to him. He asked you to buy another one for yourself as well. So now, the two of you can match with your onesies and slippers 🥺❤️

Whenever you go out with Megumi, he always stands on the side of the pavement that's nearer to the road! He also holds your hand almost all the time, to show affection and to also pull you away in case of anything. His priority is always making sure that you're safe and sound 🥺

He loves it when you stay over in his dorm room for the night. Over the course of your relationship, it's become such a normal thing that Megumi's room is basically yours, and vice versa. His bed has plenty of your plush toys and his closet is half filled with your clothes, though he doesn't mind if you take his clothes to wear (he loves it but will never live it down). Spending the evening together before going to bed and cuddling is the highlight of his day and he loves being able to feel the warmth of your body next to his as he slowly falls asleep every night.

He showers with you quite often too. It's nothing sexual at all, just him helping to shampoo your hair and wash your back while you soap other parts of your body. He loves shaping your hair into random things since it always makes you giggle. He just loves to hear you laughing 🥺❤️ If you do the same to him, he'll smile before poking your nose gently in a affectionate manner.

Please please please play with his hair!!! He loves it!!! He'll relax into your touch as he lies on your lap, letting you take your hands through his silky hair, instantly feeling the stress from the day that just passed slowly dissipating. He might even fall asleep if he's tired enough, and of course, who are you to deny him a well deserved rest?

He acts indifferent, even annoyed at times, when you call him different nicknames. But deep down, he is absolutely in love with all the nicknames you give him. From "gumi" to "my little sea urchin", and even some of the silly ones like "sugar bunny", he absolutely loves hearing you say them and he just feels so loved when you use those nicknames. It makes him feel so special and important to you <3

Piggybacks with him! Whenever you're tired after training, or just not feeling super great, he'll piggyback you back to his dorm and help take care of you from there! Something about the intimacy of having you leaning on him, and knowing that he's the one supporting and carrying you that makes him feel warm on the inside, like it was always something he was yearning for and finally got.

He prefers reading non-fiction books but if you ever recommend a book to him, no matter what genre or how long it is, he always makes sure to read it so that he can share his thoughts with you. It's his way of bonding with you, talking about a book you've both read and sharing your opinions with each other.

When you're on your period, he'll take extra good care of you. From making you your favourite drinks, to reading a book to help you fall asleep more quickly, Megumi does anything he can to make you feel better and relax. If you ever have cramps, he'll be summoning his shikigami to play with you in an attempt to distract you from the pain.

He's a very prepared boyfriend, so you never have to worry about forgetting things or emergency situations. It's raining suddenly? Don't worry, he has an umbrella to share with you. It got cold despite it being hot just a while ago? He's got a jacket for you. You forgot to take your water bottle and you're thirsty? He brought his, so you can share with him!

Overall, he's super sweet and kind about everything, and he's always looking out for you! Even if he isn't the best at expressing himself and his emotions, he makes sure that you know just how much he loves you ❤️

NSFW (Gender Neutral reader) (Megumi is aged up here!!!)

Warnings: Praise kink (both giving and receiving), oral (giving and receiving), overstimulation, switch!megumi, riding him, orgasm control, edging, pet names (baby, good boy, darling)

Honestly, Megumi is quite vanilla when it comes to sex. He doesn't want to cross any boundaries and make you feel uncomfortable, so he'll be super gentle and careful with you when you first start out, unless you tell him otherwise.

He hardly initiates anything because he's worried that you aren't in the mood for it. He starts to kiss you and give you hickeys all over your neck to kinda build the atmosphere and it just… carries on from there. Before he knows it, you're straddling him and grinding on his growing bulge in his pants. And that's when he'll ask you if it's ok to continue, because consent is everything to him and he doesn't want to do something you don't want! 🥺

His favourite position is definitely missionary. He loves that he can see your expression, not just to see all your different expressions while he pleasures you, but also to make sure that you're not in any pain whatsoever. He loves that he's able to kiss your face and lips whenever he wants too!

He definitely has a praise kink. He loves telling you just how good you make him feel, just how well you're taking him, taking all of him in you, being his good little precious baby and making him feel so damn good. And if you tell him how good he feels inside of you, he will melt internally and start kissing you all over your face. He adores it when you tell him how you're just full of him, being so ruined all just for him and just how good he's making you feel <3

He doesn't mind if you offer to give him a handjob or blowjob, but he much rather go down on you and make you cum at least thrice from just his mouth alone. You'll be crying and begging for him to stop because it's just too much but he won't unless you use your safeword. He knows that you enjoy it, and he enjoys it just as much, so he won't be stopping anytime soon 😉

Loves it when you ride him! Maybe he's had a stressful day and just wants to be taken care of, or maybe he just wants you to be in control, but no matter what, when Megumi is more vulnerable and desperate than usual, he wants nothing more than for you to ride him and make him cum over and over again. It's a bonus if he's came once, twice, maybe even thrice and just as he's reaching one of his last orgasms for the night, you tell him that he can't cum yet, because good boys only cum when they're told.

And if you tell him that he gets to control your orgasm, be prepared. He'll edge for goodness knows how long, and just as you're on the verge of cumming, the kind of sensation that you can cum with just one more thrust from him, he'll pull out and kiss your forehead, telling you that you're his "pretty baby", his "wonderful darling", telling you to wait just a little longer for your high.

Aftercare with him is super important! He'll carry you to the bathroom if you're too tired or sore and run you a bath with some bath salts while he changes the bedsheets. Then he joins you in the bath and lets you lean on him and relax fully while he tells you how good you were for him, kissing the top of your head over and over again.

Megumi is a super gentle boyfriend, even in bed, and he'll never cross any of your boundaries. He loves you so so much and wants you to feel that love when you two are having sex <3

AHHHHHH this one is longer than the other two I made… oh well! I love Megumi so so much and he's so precious!!! I had lots of fun writing this and would've written more but it's really long already so… Anyways I hope you enjoyed reading and Happy Birthday once again to my dearest Megumi!

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j2lx · 1 year

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Arguing With Them (headcanons)

Warnings: angst to fluff, arguments (obviously lol), worrying about safety and overworking, insecurities, crying (a lot of crying), mentions of abuse in Sukuna's part and Naoya's part

A/n: I am so so sorry I went on hiatus without notice =( I just came back from my overseas vacation and I was so tired on the trip and when I just came home that I couldn't do much. I finally got the energy to finish this draft that was sitting in my docs for like a month so please do enjoy reading!

Characters: Itadori Yuuji, Fushiguro Megumi, Kugisaki Nobara, Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Ryomen Sukuna (Sukuna has his own body in this but isn't in his OG form), Zenin Maki, Okkotsu Yuuta, Inumaki Toge, Suguru Geto (basically high school Geto, before he became all you know), Toji Fushiguro (he isn't broke in this fic just so it isn't as confusing), Naoya Zenin (he isn't misogynistic (for Fem!readers) cuz he loves you a lot!) x Gender Neutral!reader

Itadori Yuuji

You hardly argue with your boyfriend. You understand him, and he understands you. The two of you never argue much since you both are able to come to a mutual agreement. Both of you get along really well, and think in similar ways, so it's rare for things to escalate into a fight.

When it does though, it hurts the both of you a lot. Guilt tends to gnaw at you two, and you both start to feel bad for lashing out at each other instead of talking it out slowly. Yuuji would be the one who's more affected between the two of you. He won't even be able to sleep after arguing with you because of how bad he feels.

Most of the time, you argue because of your boyfriend's lack of concern for his own safety. He tends to put others before himself in all situations, putting him at risk of injuries and even death. While you understand that the both of you being Jujutsu sorcerers would mean risking your life at times, you just can't tolerate how your boyfriend seems to be unnecessarily throwing himself into situations that could kill him.

Yuuji, being the caring and kind person who makes sure to protect others more than himself, fails to understand where you're coming from when these arguments start. It's his job after all, and it's what he should be doing. He just doesn't understand why you are so concerned when you yourself have to do the same. He doesn't get why you say he's "going too far" and "basically almost dying on every mission".

He's always stubborn and defends himself during these arguments, telling you that he's already doing his best to protect himself. But when you start to walk away and cry, he'll start to reflect and more often than not, he does realise that what you're saying is true. He just gets into the heat of the moment during missions and ends up not thinking about ways he could protect himself better, all while getting the mission done.

When you start to walk away, he'll immediately chase after you and try to apologise to you. Most of the time, all you want to do is make up with your boyfriend and cuddle with him while he holds you close to him. However, if you ever decide that you need time alone instead, Yuuji will sit outside of your dorm, listening to the shuffling of your feet in the room, your soft cries and sniffles, waiting for you to open the door and let him in to comfort you when you feel ready enough.

Yes, arguments with your boyfriend might hurt, and it might be tough to get through to him most of the time, but when he sees how desperate, concerned and sad you are, he'll start to understand. He'll never let you stay mad at him after these arguments because he doesn't want to lose you over something that he should have realised that he was wrong about all along. Expect loads of cuddles and Yuuji being clingy to you after arguments! (Also lots of "I love you"s from him)

Fushiguro Megumi

Honestly, arguments with Megumi occur once in a while, but it hardly escalates into something really big. Megumi isn't always the best at understanding your feelings and trying to see where you're coming from, especially if it's about your safety. He's stubborn and stands his ground in arguments, which makes arguing with him a little… painful.

He tries his best to understand your point of view, really. But you're the most important person to him, and it's natural for him to want to protect you no matter what, right? When arguing with him, it always hurts you more than him, because sometimes it's like he's scolding you and not hearing you out. But after the argument, all the guilt hits him like a ton of bricks and he starts to feel really bad for just lashing out at you.

Arguments with him are the worst when he realises changes in your behaviour. You started to train and exercise a lot in your free time, which confused him. You didn't spend as much time with him anymore and he could tell that you were overworking yourself. When he confronted you about it, you refused to tell him about it and it pissed him off. You were so important to him, and he wanted the best for you, so why couldn't you open up and tell him?

He starts to lecture you about reasons you shouldn't overwork yourself and tells you, in a rather harsh way, that you should tell him what's going on. And the whole time, he doesn't pause to let you speak at all. He's just so worried and annoyed that he goes on and on. He starts getting blinded by his concern and anger that he forgets to listen to you, and even if he does, he tends not to process it before he says something again.

He only knows he's gone too far when you start tearing up, shouting above his voice that the only reason you were overworking yourself was so that you could match up to him, so that he wouldn't leave you behind. And when you run out of his dorm and hide in your own dorm, locking the door the moment you step in, he finally starts to process what you said.

He sits on the edge of his bed, processing everything you said. He feels the guilt of not hearing you out properly, and he knows he has to do something to make it up to you. He knows he isn't the best at expressing his emotions through his words, so he heads to the kitchen and starts to make a cup of your favourite hot drink for you, before heading to your dorm.

He always knocks on your door and asks if you can let him into your dorm. If you don't, he sets the drink down on a table in the common room and tells you to drink it before it gets cold, and then heads back to his dorm. But if you let him in, like you do more often than not, he'll set the drink on the table you have in your room and apologise to you, before asking if he can cuddle with you, which you always agree to.

Kugisaki Nobara

Arguments with her are actually pretty rare! Most of the time, the two of you just try your best to understand each other, and it works perfectly well. The two of you hardly meet a situation where both of you have really different opinions and disagree strongly with each other.

But when that does happen, it gets heated very quickly. One of you would start accusing the other person, while the other has no choice but to defend themselves to the best of their abilities. You both end up really mad at each other because you didn't really listen to each other's feelings and instead, started shouting accusations at each other.

Nobara really appreciates it when you spend time with her on your days off from missions and school. She often takes the initiative to ask you when you're free and then sets aside those few days just to spend time with you. So when you told her that you took up an urgent mission, even though there were other people to handle it, she was really annoyed and pissed off. You had promised three weeks ago that you'll spend time with her on that day, and yet you decided to go on a mission that any other Jujutsu sorcerers could handle instead.

She started out by asking you why you wanted to do that, and when you replied that it was so you could get promoted more quickly, she snapped. She had told you countless times that in the Jujutsu world, you'll forever want to aim higher and higher, and there was no end to it. And yet, you had taken up a mission on a day she specially put aside so that the two of you could go out together.

Accusations and screaming is all that can be heard when your arguments get that heated. She calls you a liar and you retort that she doesn't care about you. She says that she can't trust you anymore and you reply that if she believes that, it's fine by you. It's just her attacking you with her words and you just trying to defend yourself. Eventually, it gets too frustrating for Nobara and she just walks out of your dorm, slamming the door behind her.

In the end, you go on your mission. But on the way there, you start reflecting, and realise that you were in the wrong to begin with. And truth to be told, you don't know how to make it up to your girlfriend. You know that she's always looking forward to these kinds of days, days that she can spend with you, having fun and just hanging out together. And yet, you decided to ruin it all and make her angry by breaking a promise.

When you get back to Jujutsu High, you knock on Nobara's dorm room. You hear a muffled "go away", so you just leave, giving her the space she needs. You head out again to buy her something you know she'll like, and then leave it outside her dorm room when you return. And when she finds the gift outside of her door, with an apology letter, she goes to look for you immediately so that the two of you can make up and cuddle in her dorm after that.

Satoru Gojo

You get into arguments with him mostly because of what he's doing. Be it annoying and teasing you too much, or being too reckless, it's always because he gets too cocky and negligent of himself that the two of you end up arguing. It doesn't happen often, since he listens to your scoldings when you try to tell him to stop being annoying or reckless.

And on the occasion that the argument does escalate, it's always him trying to defend his own actions by giving you random excuses. And if that doesn't piss you off enough, he never gives you the space to cool down after arguments. He'll cling to you, because "the argument is over" and he clearly thinks that it's fine to stick close to you when you clearly need your own space.

It's the worst when you get into arguments with him over his safety. His only excuses are that he's "the strongest" and since he "hasn't died yet, you don't have to worry". And while you don't disagree that he's the strongest, and know full well that he won't bite the dust that easily, you just can't help but worry. Yes, Satoru understands you like no other, the only thing he'll never comprehend is your worry for his safety.

Maybe it's because he's just that confident in his own abilities, or he just doesn't deem it necessary for you to worry over him when he promised that he'll return home to you no matter what. Regardless, he's stubborn when these kinds of arguments happen, more so than usual. He'll pick on everything you say, use things he's said in the past, just do absolutely anything to win the argument when that's not exactly the point. In the heat of the moment, he always forgets that it's you worrying about him, that you're scared for him. And instead of trying to reassure and comfort you, he starts to defend his own actions.

You're always the one to step back from the arguments and head to your shared bedroom to just have some space for yourself. However, your boyfriend takes that as a cue that all's well and good, and that you're on good terms with him again. He'll knock on the bedroom door, and no matter what your response is to that, he'll enter the room and start clinging to you, hugging and kissing you when all you really want is time away from him. He only gets that when you tell him to leave and shove him away from you.

He'll give you all the time in the world after that, just so that you can calm down as much as possible. And instead of distracting himself from the sadness of being pushed away, he sits outside the bedroom door, listening to every sound you make. He has to will himself not to burst into the room when he hears your quiet sobs, and just curls up into a ball, hoping that you'll calm down soon.

And when you finally let him into the room, your eyes red and puffy, he'll pull you into a hug while apologising for how unreasonable and annoying he was. He spends the rest of the day cuddling with you and being at your every command. He would do everything and anything, literally anything, just to cheer you up and make you feel better.

Nanami Kento

Arguments with him are super duper rare. He really tries his best to understand your feelings and will never lash out, even if you're being unreasonable sometimes. He's able to reason with you very well, so the two of you hardly get into arguments if there's ever something that's bothering either of you.

That doesn't mean that there are no arguments at all. Of course, when arguments do happen, Kento tries to let you understand his side of the story and hears you out no matter what. But when it does escalate, he knows when to end the argument and give you some space. There will be raised voices and even shouting, but at some point, he knows that it's not going to help solve anything and gives you the space to calm down.

The worst argument you had with him was over him being "obsessed" with hunting down a curse. You heard of this unregistered special grade curse with a patchwork face, and you knew just how dangerous it was to track it down. But you knew that your boyfriend was trying to help out and protect people from this curse by finding it and exorcising it.

Even so, you couldn't really understand why he had to work so hard to hunt it down, even working overtime on most days just to get information and track the curse's location. It wasn't just that he was spending less time with you, he was risking his own life and safety by trying to accomplish his mission. And you drew the line at that. You couldn't lose Kento. So you confronted him about it one evening after he came back from working overtime yet again.

It started out fine, just you telling him to give it up, or at least not work so hard over this matter. You expected him to understand, to listen to you, but you were wrong. He started to tell you about the mission, why it was important, why he had to do his best to search for it even if it meant that he had to work overtime. And that just leads to you shouting at him, telling him how neglected and scared you feel. And he starts to raise his voice too, saying that you don't understand how important his work is, even though you're a Jujutsu sorcerer too. Both of your voices fill your shared apartment, just pointless screaming that isn't helping either of you to come to a consensus.

After a while, Kento calms down and approaches you slowly, wiping away the tears that flowed down your cheeks without you even noticing. He goes to the kitchen and hands you a cup of water before going to your shared bedroom, giving you some space and leaving you alone in the living room to think about what happened.

He always waits for you to calm down fully and look for him. The last thing he wants is for him to cause you to feel more upset by approaching you while you're still mad at him. Rest assured though, after you go to look for him, he'll apologise very sincerely and do whatever you want to do with him. Expect lots of cuddles and kisses, and even a date later in the week!

Ryomen Sukuna

Arguments with your boyfriend are not exactly common, but they do happen more than should. He's not the best with emotions, but he's really trying his best to understand your point of view. He knows that he needs to start being gentler and more sympathetic, and he's really working on it.

But more often than not, arguments with him do escalate quite badly. He's stubborn, and most of the time he forgets that communication is a two way thing. It's not that he's shutting you out on purpose, he just doesn't register that he needs to let you voice out your opinions so that he can hear you out.

Most of the time, arguments occur because of how overprotective your boyfriend becomes when you talk to another guy. You've told him before that men have taken advantage of you before, gained your trust before throwing you around and using you for their own cruel plans. And whenever Sukuna sees someone being nice to you, he panics. He doesn't think that they're genuinely trying to be nice to you. Instead, his brain thinks of the worst case scenario and immediately his body acts to protect you in case they do anything to you.

It wasn't the first time Sukuna had to meet a male colleague of yours. Considering that you both were Jujutsu sorcerers, most of your colleagues were his as well, and he slowly managed to warm up to them without feeling the need to protect you from them, because he trusts them enough. But when he met your new make colleague who was going to be your mentee, he kind of lost it. Your boyfriend immediately glared at him when he tried to help you carry some documents back to the office, scaring your mentee.

When you got back to your shared apartment, you confronted Sukuna about his actions. To you, it was just plain unreasonable that he had scared someone innocent and who had done nothing to harm you. Your boyfriend got frustrated that you couldn't see it from his point of view and told you to just let him protect you so that no one else would take advantage of you. And while you could see where he was coming from, you couldn't tolerate the fact that he was going around intimidating people who were innocent and had no plan to abuse you like the people you encountered in the past. So you shoved him away and told him to leave you alone as you left the apartment and went to stay over at Shoko's place for the night.

The next morning, you were greeted by your mentee the moment you got to the campus of Jujutsu High. He shared about how Sukuna had apologised to him for scaring him, and had warned him not to take advantage of you, which he assured you he had no intention of doing. Upon hearing that your stubborn and somewhat unapologetic boyfriend actually apologised to someone who wasn't you, you couldn't help but feel a little touched and decided to find him after work to make up with him.

You managed to catch up to him as he was leaving the campus and immediately reached to grab his arm, stopping him in his tracks. You wrapped your arms around his torso and pressed your face into his chest, apologising for being irrational the previous night, and thanking him for looking out for you. He smiled before picking you up in his arms and pressing a kiss on your forehead, whispering an apology as well. He put you down gently and you both walked hand in hand, ready to go back home together.

Maki Zenin

You and Maki have arguments, yes, but they hardly occur. The two of you prefer to sit down and talk about it calmly instead of lashing out at each other, since talking it out makes the both of you more comfortable with sharing your views and helps make the atmosphere less tense.

During the extremely heated and intense arguments, that are few and far between, it becomes much more difficult for the both of you to take a step back and it usually ends up in the two of you ignoring each other for a while.

It's not uncommon to see Maki work out and train in her free time, considering that she wants to work hard to get promoted and just get stronger in general. Anyone who knows her would know that she works out almost everyday during her break time, and you're used to that too. In fact, you do enjoy joining in with her, or just watching your girlfriend while she trains.

But sometimes, it gets a little too much. It's not that you want to be the kind of clingy s/o, nor do you want to disrupt Maki's training regime and deprive her of the time she has to work out, but it's been bad to the extent that she only has time to eat and sleep outside of classes, missions, training and working out. Due to it being the season where more curses appear, all of you at Jujutsu High have been assigned more missions and life has been busier than usual. You would've thought that with the number of missions she was assigned, your girlfriend wouldn't have the time or energy to work out when she got a break (if she got any), but she clearly proved you wrong.

You decided to talk to her about it one day. It wasn't just about the way she spent her time, but also about her health and sleep schedule. You were more worried than anything, and you just wanted to make sure that she was alright and safe. Maybe it was the stress from all the missions, or it could've been the weather, but for whatever reason, Maki was more pissed than usual when you tried to talk to her. You explained the situation calmly and yet she could only snap that you wouldn't understand. And when you tried again to ask her about how she was feeling, she said that she was fine in a deadpanned voice. You got frustrated and ended up shouting at her, which led her to shout at you too. After she made her point she turned to leave and didn't talk to you for the next few days.

Even after the whole argument, you still wanted to look out for your girlfriend as much as possible. That led you to going to the teachers and requesting for them to give Maki fewer missions, just so she wouldn't push herself too hard on a daily basis. And little did you know that a certain blindfolded teacher mentioned it to your girlfriend in passing one day during training.

As a result, you were shocked to see Maki outside your dorm room on a weekend morning, considering that she usually went for jogs at that time. She explained that Gojo has told her about what you did, and apologised for being mean to you. You did the same, admitting that it was probably not right for you to disturb her when she was in the middle of getting ready for a mission. You invited her to spend the rest of the day with you, and the two of you let the rare time you had away from missions and training pass while spending time catching up with each other.

Okkotsu Yuuta

Arguments with Yuuta almost never occur, just because you two get along really well and never actually had a good reason to get into an argument. You two are like relationship goals, being able to understand each other's emotions and adapting the needs of the other party.

Even when things escalate, it never goes to the point of leaving a permanent, unforgettable scar on either of you. The two of you are both very emotional, and neither of you can bear to see the other person crying. So your arguments never escalate beyond a certain point, because you just can't stand to see each other hurt because of what had been said.

The only time you've had a super heated argument with Yuuta was when he finished his training overseas and was going to come back. Despite the fact that he kept telling you that he was going to return home to you soon, the date kept being pushed back. It was a full two weeks since the initial date he was supposed to come back home, and yet he was still overseas because of the missions he had to take up at the last minute.

You were slowly becoming more and more impatient. It's been months since you've seen your boyfriend, and the time you've spent apart just gets longer by the day. Did he not care about you anymore? It started to seem that way. You were normally an understanding person, and you knew how hard your boyfriend had it, considering he was a special grade sorcerer. But if you had to spend just another week away from him, you knew you would break. You decided to call Yuuta, just to let him know that you needed him back as soon as possible.

The call didn't go as you expected at all. You started by telling Yuuta how much you love him, and that you really can't do it anymore. That you can't spend any more time without him by your side. And Yuuta, with guilt laced in his voice, told you that he had to stay for six more days because of the appearance of a special grade curse. And that's when you broke. With tears trickling down your cheeks, you asked him if he even loved you anymore in a shaky voice, before hanging up on him and going to sleep, hugging the plush toy he bought for your birthday to comfort yourself.

You didn't hear from Yuuta the day after that and resigned yourself to the fate that you wouldn't see him until a week later. The last thing you expected was to hear a knock on your door the first thing in the morning, and for your boyfriend to be standing on the other side of the door, his bags and luggage still with him. He handed you a small bouquet of flowers with a small teddy bear on it and hugged you to his chest tightly. You could hear the tremble in his voice as he whispered apologies in your ear, and you pulled away from the hug to give him a peck on the lips.

After he placed his baggage in his dorm room and took a shower, he headed straight for your room to cuddle with you. The two of you talked things out, apologised to each other and started to plan for what to do if he got sent on a long trip again. Needless to say, you both spent the rest of the day in each other's arms, kissing and cuddling to your heart's content.

Inumaki Toge

You and Toge never had an argument before, as weird as it sounds. Of course Toge is a prankster and he loves teasing and flustering you, but he never goes overboard and never causes you discomfort of any sort. The two of you just never had anything to argue over, and you were thankful for that.

Well, that held true until… that happened. That's when you learnt what arguments with your boyfriend were like. And it wasn't even a normal argument. It was a horrible and scarring experience for the both of you. You just shut him out and Toge basically couldn't defend himself because you were ignoring him.

It all started when a new second year student transferred from Kyoto Jujutsu High to Tokyo. They were randomly assigned a buddy from the second years in Tokyo and it just so happened to be your boyfriend, Toge. At first, you were happy for him. Because of his cursed speech, it was difficult for him to make new friends and you had a feeling that this buddying experience would help him gain a new friend.

The warm feeling of happiness slowly turned to bitter envy when your boyfriend's buddy started to cling to him more. They basically spent the whole day together, and the only time they weren't together was during bedtime. From training to doing homework together, Toge's schedule suddenly became dedicated to them. And despite knowing that Toge loved you and only you, jealousy washed upon you and you couldn't help but feel more and more insecure by the day.

It got so bad that eventually, you couldn't even bring yourself to get out of your dorm room, unless it was for classes or training. You didn't want to see his buddy clinging to him, and your boyfriend paying them the attention they were seeking. You decided that you had enough one night, and took your phone from the bedside table and sent a message to Toge that said, "I hope you and your buddy are getting along, because it certainly seems so. If you don't want to be with me anymore, you know you can just tell me right?" And with that, you switched your phone off and tried your best to go to sleep.

You didn't leave your room for the entire day the next day and tried to distract yourself from hunger by reading the books you had. However, by the time it was evening, you were so hungry and desperate for food that you had no choice but to leave your room. And when you opened your door, you saw a lunchbox tied to the door handle on the other side. Without even opening it up, you knew it was from your boyfriend.

You immediately went to his dorm and knocked on the door. It took less than 10 seconds for the door to open and for him to pull you into a tight hug. Toge then dragged you into his room gently, and gestured for you to sit on his lap after he settled onto the edge of his bed. He placed a small kiss on your nose and muttered, "S…Sorry." You instantly felt your heart soften; hearing your boyfriend speak words other than onigiri ingredients was something that rarely occurred. You apologised before cupping his cheek and kissing him roughly on the lips, the kiss conveying all the emotions and love you felt for each other.

Suguru Geto

Yes, arguments do happen but they don't last long nor are they super intense. No seriously, your boyfriend is one of the most compassionate and sympathetic people you've ever met, so it's not often that he can't understand how you feel.

But when he truly fails to see where you're coming from, either because he thinks that what he's saying is more justifiable, or because he thinks that you're overacting, then the argument does escalate into something more heated than usual. He'll still hear you out, but he's likely going to continue to defend himself.

With a boyfriend who's a special grade sorcerer, it's only normal for you to have to spend time away from Suguru at times. It could be because of long missions overseas or just emotional distance because he can't spend much time with you. No matter what, he always makes it up to you after all his missions and assignments and spends lots of time with you.

Maybe it's because you never really showed strong opposition to Suguru going on more and more missions. You knew it had to happen, considering he was one of the four special grade sorcerers and that he was needed by the Jujutsu world considering his strength. But recently, your boyfriend started taking up more missions volunteeringly. And considering that he had never done that before, it felt weird to you… almost like he was trying to distance himself on purpose, which you were pretty sure wasn't the case. Nonetheless, you decided to talk to your boyfriend about it. You wanted to make sure that he wasn't pushing himself too hard unnecessarily, and that he wasn't being pressured into taking on these missions.

When you finally got down to confronting your boyfriend about the issue, he merely shrugged it off and said that it had to be done. He didn't really seem to acknowledge the concern you were showing him, which frustrated you and led you to snap at him, telling him about how he just doesn't seem to care about you or anything you do for him anymore. He then snapped back, saying that if you cared so much, you'd just leave him alone.

He instantly regretted his words, and even more so when he saw the tears welling up in your eyes. He muttered a quick "sorry" before he walked towards the door and prepared to leave your shared apartment to give you some space, like he always does after arguing with you. But instead of letting him leave as you would usually do, you pulled the hem of his shirt and whispered, "Stay. Please."

And stay he did. Your boyfriend sat down on the couch before pulling you onto his lap, comforting you by stroking your hair and whispering sweet nothings to you, all while you stuffed your face into his chest, letting his smell calm you down. After you calmed down enough to look at him, he kissed you all over your face and offered to make you your favourite dish for dinner that night, which of course you couldn't say no to. And you both knew that after you talked things out during dinner, everything would be alright again.

Toji Fushiguro

There was hardly any reason to get into arguments with Toji. He protected you, took good care of you and most importantly, showered you with love and made you feel so happy just by being with him. However, that doesn't mean that your relationship is always smooth sailing.

Arguments with him always escalate, but that's mainly because they hardly occur and your boyfriend doesn't really know how to deal with it. All his life, he's needed to fend for himself, so it's only natural for him to do the same during arguments with you.

You recently introduced Toji to a job. You used to work as a cashier in a bookstore and after contacting your previous colleague, who was now the manager, about job openings, they told you that there was an opening that just so happened to fit Toji perfectly. The job scope was mostly helping with organising the books in the bookstore, which your boyfriend definitely could do considering his strength and height.

Everything was going really well and he even got commended on his performance at work. Of course, you were really happy for him because he finally had a job and could earn money to support the both of you and the family he wanted to build with you. But that happiness was short lived after you realised that he started betting with his earnings like he did in the past. You couldn't help but feel a little bit betrayed because you thought he would know better than to go back to doing things like that, especially after learning how hard it was to earn money again. But old habits die hard, and you knew you had to stop it before it was too late.

You got Toji to sit with you and talk about how his job was going, before you slowly approached the topic of him betting his earnings. When you did reach that point, you asked him why continued to do it, as gently as you could so as to not make him feel attacked. But when he said that he was merely enjoying life and only betting a small amount each time, something in you snapped. It wasn't that you didn't want Toji to do what he liked to do, but you just couldn't accept that he forgot all about the future and saving money to start a family together. And so you lash out. You tell him that you suddenly feel alone in working towards having a better life and a family together, all while he tries to tell you that he was trying his luck to maybe win big and let you rest instead of working.

Somehow, that managed to make you soften up and as much as you wanted to stand your ground, you couldn't help but walk up to your boyfriend and press a kiss on his cheek. The mere fact that he was doing it so that there was a chance that if he won, he would let you rest and not have to work yourself so hard made you feel touched by his way of thinking.

Toji mumbled an apology, telling you that he didn't know you wouldn't approve of what he was doing and you could feel a wave of guilt wash upon you. You had never set any guidelines on how he should spend his money and you felt bad for making him apologise for doing something he liked with the money he earned himself. You muttered an apology as well, before pressing your lips against his to convey all the feelings you can't put into words.

Naoya Zenin

Arguments with him are the worst. The very very worst. They don't happen very often, but they always escalate quickly because he just lashes out and says everything he wants to say without letting you say anything, frustrating you in the process.

Almost every argument you have with him will escalate, and he just doesn't get that he should listen to you. He doesn't think that your insecurities might be bugging you, which is why the argument even starts. He doesn't stop to process that you're probably feeling really extreme emotions, that you're just desperate for some kind of affirmation and comfort from him. He doesn't realise that he should be gentle with you, instead of arguing with you.

Naoya doesn't spend much time away from you, he knows full well that if he does, your fears and insecurities would probably get the better of you. However, when he starts to do it subconsciously, you can't help but want some form of reassurance that he isn't doing it on purpose. It's your fear that he's still in contact with the Zen'in clan, the very people who abused you for months on end, the people he saved you from.

When you go to him, asking him about why he hasn't been spending as much time with you, he gets frustrated. He doesn't realise that he never told you about all the extra missions he's been taking on to save up more money to surprise you with a vacation for your birthday. He doesn't realise that you're scared, scared that he's going to turn against you and exploit you because you think he's spending time with the clan members, planning to bring you back to them.

And he just lashes out. He doesn't even give you time to explain yourself, he just starts telling you to learn to take care of yourself, to stop relying on him, to stop being "clingy and whiny". He doesn't stop shouting at you, saying that you don't understand why he's even doing all this. And it's true that you don't, because he never told you. He just gets so frustrated that he just continues yelling at you, until you can't hold it back anymore. You just break down in tears and run to your shared bedroom, slamming the door behind you.

Only then does he realise that he's taken it too far. The image of your tear-stricken face gets stuck in his mind, and he starts to feel really remorseful. He remembers you telling him that if he leaves you for too long, you get scared that he's leaving you. And yet that never crossed his mind when he was lashing out.

He goes to the bedroom, and knocks on the door asking if he can enter. And you never answer, too caught up in all your negative thoughts to process that he's trying to reach out to you. He always enters as quietly as possible, so it always catches you off guard. And when he sees how you look at him, your eyes shining with fear and sadness, looking at him like he's one of the clan members who abused you, he tears up too, because he never meant to hurt you that much. He grabs the blanket from the bed and wraps it around you snuggly, pulling you to his chest and letting you sob with him while he mutters apologies over and over again.

I think I went… a little crazy considering the length of this. I was honestly very tempted to make this into a hcs + short fic post and if this gets enough comments or asks requesting for a short fic part, I probably will do it =) Hope you enjoyed reading!

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j2lx · 1 year

Note

I FINALLY GOT CHAINSAW MANGA AHHHH!!! I was being so indecisive about it but decided that Aki was worth it so I bought this volume for starters ❤️

Oh and I just wanted to share something about the background. I'm not sure how many people noticed, but it's actually a target card used in shooting. It's like foreshadowing that Aki would become the gun devil- And before you ask me how I know, I'm in my school's shooting club (we use air weapons and it's pretty cool but kinda monotonous after a while)

Now the funny thing is that the red highlighted circle starts from the number 6 in the background. But irl, for pistol cards it starts from 7 and rifle cards from 4 (for the cards I'm using at least). Using the number 6 kind of suggests that it's in between the two, which makes sense for Aki since he had a pistol on his head and a rifle on his arm when he became the gun fiend. It's just insane that such a small detail, a background no less, can say so much about his fate

OMG YES!!!! volume four is the best cover out of all of them obviously.... so that's a good choice... it has aki being handsome, and the color scheme is just too good, I'm obsessed with it. I don't have a lot of manga, but I absolutely needed chainsaw man for my collection. and there's something about reading the physical volumes that's super cozy, so I recommend you get the rest of the series 🙏

yes I noticed that!!! it's a super cool detail, I didn't know the thing about the numbers though, that's really interesting... makes me think about how aki's fate was all planned from the start. there's the whole "in the future, you will die in the worst possible way" thing, and aki's hairstyle was even meant to resemble the barrel of a gun... bah, so tragic

#yesh I'll probably get the whole series after i earn enough #still have aki merch to get too #this was the moment my knowledge from club activities paid off #im so glad im not the only one who noticed #everyone just says it's makima's eyes...#but this just makes aki's story so much more tragic urghhh #i love him sm #aki my beloved

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j2lx · 1 year

Text

movie date. / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, fluff, first kiss, lots of hand holding, going to the movies with aki. word count: 2.5k

You didn't think this was a scary movie.

A first date at the movies is a bit cliché, but your friend offered you some tickets when their plans got canceled, and after they wouldn't stop prodding you to ask Aki to go, you ended up caving. He agreed, saying, Seems like fun, and that was that. You got your popcorn (Aki insisted on paying for it, encouraging you to get whatever size you wanted), you sat down in the theater, and —

Yeah, you should have checked what the movie was about before you agreed to this. You knew it just came out, and you knew was super popular right now, but that's as far as your knowledge went. Your friend is into horror movies, who knew. You, on the other hand, are definitely, definitely not.

And now, you're squirming in your seat, trying not to scream when the main lead starts walking into that big creepy house you know she shouldn't be walking in, all because you didn't bother to watch a single trailer for this damn movie. It's only been ten minutes, maybe fifteen, and your heart is already pounding, your hands are already shaking, and you're gripping the arms of your seat for dear life.

Maybe you should just sneak away and hide out in the bathroom — No, that'd be way too rude, wouldn't it? You can't just leave, you're supposed to be on a date. You've got to tough this out. It's a movie, that's all it is. You can do it, you can do it…

"Are you scared?"

The sound of Aki's voice makes you jump, and you quickly tear your attention away from the screen, turning towards him to see he's already staring at you. When did he notice, how long has he been watching?

Aki leans in just a bit closer, and he speaks a little quieter this time, a little gentler: "Do you not like scary movies?"

You reply awkwardly, "Uhm, I… Not really. Sorry."

"Do you wanna leave?"

You're a bit surprised, and you hesitate for a second, considering it. In the end, you shake your head. "No, no. I'll be okay."

Aki's eyes scan your face. His lips purse into a thin, troubled line. There's a tinge of worry in his gaze before he finally leans back, turning to watch the movie again.

You'll be fine, you'll be fine. There's no need to leave, you can get through this. It's just a stupid movie. So stupid, so predictable, that you know exactly what's going to happen — And yet, you're still on the edge of your seat, still trying your hardest to breathe, and when there's another scare, you're still jumping halfway out of your seat.

Instantly, you feel Aki tap your leg slightly with his finger — A warning that he's going to talk, and he leans in close to your ear to quietly ask, "You okay? Are you sure you don't wanna leave?"

"Mhmm, mhmm." You nod, but you're covering your eyes with your hand as the movie continues, you're staring down at your feet and trying not to watch, willing yourself to just get through this.

Aki stalls for a moment. He glances between you, then back to the movie screen (the screen is flashing bright red and orange, another scare scene playing out), then back to you again. Slowly, carefully, he reaches for where your hand is still tightly clenched on the arm of your chair. His palm brushes over your knuckles, and he rests his large hand on top of yours.

You feel a tinge of embarrassment, your heart starts to pound with something other than fear, something warm, but you don't have much time to comment on it; you twist your hand, allowing Aki to lace his fingers with yours, and when the speakers blare another unnecessarily loud noise, you're instinctively gripping onto his hand tightly.

Aki gives your hand a reassuring squeeze, and he gently rubs your knuckles with his thumb. His voice is no more than a quiet, comforting whisper.

This scene is almost over. Tell me if you want to leave.

Thankfully, you're able to get through the rest of that scene; it was almost over by that point, just as Aki said it was. You only open your eyes when you hear his voice in your ear, and when he gives your hand another careful squeeze.

It's done. You can open your eyes if you want.

Then, you're able to get through the next scene, and the one after that, and the one after that. The movie isn't all jumpscares, and once you're able to relax a little, Aki's hand in yours keeping you calm, you're able to pay attention to the plot, and it's actually sort of interesting. It's definitely something you'd enjoy, if it wasn't a horror flick.

You're starting to enjoy yourself, you're beginning to lean back more in your seat. Aki never lets go of your hand, and he leans over to keep himself close to you, so close you can hear the sound of his breathing: in and out, deeply and languidly, like a comforting melody.

I think this next part is going to be scary. Do you want to look away?

The next scene is another tension-filled one; your heart is beginning to pound again, you feel that familiar prickle of anxiety and anticipation coiling in your chest. The movie goes quiet, too quiet, and then there's another loud bang — Before you can stop yourself, you're grabbing onto Aki's arm, you're tightly gripping his sleeve. And when it escalates into a super scary chase segment, you're pressing your face into his shoulder, clinging onto him as if he'll protect you.

"You're alright," Aki mutters, and with his free hand, he presses his palm solidly to your back, gently rubbing in circles. "Just hold onto me. I think the movie's almost over."

Eventually, the scene runs its course, and the movie comes to an end shortly after that. You've still got Aki's hand in yours when the credits start to roll, and when you finally turn to look up at him, Aki is already looking at you, tilting his head as if he's asking, Should we go now?

You stand up, then, tearing your hand away from his, grabbing your jacket and your things while Aki takes the popcorn bucket. Aki places his hand on your shoulder to guide you as you make your way down the dark aisle, then out of the theater, and into the reception area.

It's gotten rather late, so it's mostly empty, with only a couple people in line and some kids playing on arcade machines. Through the large entrance windows, you can see how dark it's grown outside. When you came in, the sun was shining, but now it's nearly pitch-black, nothing but street lamps illuminating the parking lot.

"You hardly ate your popcorn." Aki ascertains while you walk, peering into the popcorn bucket.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot about it."

"It's fine. Here," Aki holds the popcorn bucket out towards you, giving it a half-hearted shake. "Just take it home with you. C'mon, I'll walk you out."

Aki holds the door open for you as you exit the movie theater. The night air is a bit chilly, sharp each time you breathe in, cold air settling on the back of your neck and the tip of your nose. The sky is cloudy, but little dots of stars still shine through.

When you go to cross the sidewalk, Aki places his arm out in front of you to stop you from walking when a stray car speeds by. And when you're leading him to your car, you're not sure what you were thinking — Maybe you wanted to lead him better, maybe you didn't want to lose him, but you end up grabbing his hand.

It's warm; his hand in yours feels familiar, safe. You were beginning to miss how this felt.

You break the silence when the two of you approach your car. You take your hand away from Aki's, digging in your bag to find your keys, and Aki zips up his jacket, then adjusts his scarf around his neck.

"Uhm, thanks for…" You find them, and your car beeps when you click the button. "Thanks for coming out tonight."

"No need to thank me," Aki replies, cold air wisping around his mouth as he talks, "What'd you think of the movie?"

"It was kind of good, surprisingly." You open the car's rear door, placing your bucket of popcorn in the backseat. "When I was paying attention, I liked it. I just wish it wasn't so scary. I thought the visuals were pretty good."

"Huh? The visuals?" There's a tinge of surprise in Aki's voice, but he quickly shakes his head and corrects himself: "Oh, yeah. You're right."

Yeah, the visuals. To be honest, Aki wasn't paying attention to them. He hardly watched the movie at all. The entire time, he was staring at you.

He was watching to make sure you were okay, he was observing the little changes in your facial expressions. He was doting on the cute way you close your eyes or scrunch up your nose when there's a scene you don't like, or the way you stare intently at something interesting, or the way you cling to him when the movie's getting tense — You're perfect. Just staring at you like that, your hand in his, was enough to give him butterflies.

God, he's not about to say that though. It's your first date, and he's already head over heels. What's gotten into him?

You turn back to Aki once you've closed your car door, meeting his eyes and slipping your hands into the pockets of your jacket. "I hope I didn't ruin the movie."

"Of course not. You didn't. I enjoyed it." Aki looks down at his sneakers for a moment, then glances back up, a ghost of a smile forming on his face. "I'm glad you invited me. I'd like to go on another date soon — I mean, if you want to."

"I'm-" You're flustered for a second, but you stand up straight and nod, clearing your throat before you answer, "Yeah, yeah. I'd like that a lot, actually. I'll let you know next time I'm free."

With that, you turn to leave. You're reaching for the car door, wrapping your hand around the cold handle, but you freeze when Aki suddenly shouts, "Hey, wait."

So, you turn back around, and you see Aki awkwardly shuffling, his hands balled up and shoved in his pockets. Even in the dim light, you can see the embarrassment on his face, the unsureness in his eyes, the way his cheeks are tinged a slight shade of rosy pink. Finally, he steadies himself with an exhale of breath, looking up and meeting your eyes.

"I'm sorry, I hope it's okay if I ask you this, I just… I…" He sounds flustered; he averts his eyes for a second, he rubs the back of his neck with his palm.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?"

You stiffen up for a second. Trying to hide your embarrassment, you swiftly reply, "Oh, yeah. Of course."

Aki hesitates for a few seconds longer. Then, he takes a couple shaky steps forwards, closing the distance between you and him. The light from the street lamp above casts shadows over his face, and his hand comes up to delicately hold your jaw, his palm cold, his fingers trembling ever-so slightly.

You meet his eyes, and you watch as his gaze shifts from your own, down to your lips, and back up again. And then, finally, with his hand on your cheek pulling you closer, he tilts his head and leans in; your eyes flutter shut, your chest tightens, your stomach flips, and you feel his lips press softly to yours.

Aki's lips are warm, a little bit chapped; he gives you a quick, chaste kiss, pulling away almost as soon as he leaned in. He meets your eyes when they flutter open, before he sheepishly looks away.

It looks like there's something he's thinking about, something he wants to say to you, but you don't give him any time to say it — You fist the collar of his hoodie and pull him in for more. You're not going to let that be you and Aki's first kiss.

You hear him make a surprised sort of noise, but he doesn't protest; Aki's palms come to settle on your sides, and he kisses you back deeper, for longer. You grab the back of his jacket, feeling the smooth fabric beneath your fingers. Your lips lock again, then again, as Aki kisses you over and over, each one effortlessly tender.

Your whole body feels warm, despite the cold chill in the air. Your spine feels tingly, and as your palms travel around to his chest, Aki's hands end up reaching for yours. You find your hands connecting, your fingers intertwining, until you're holding his hands just as tightly as before, and Aki is drawing shapes into your skin with his thumbs through each and every kiss.

When you finally pull apart once more — Fully, instead of breaking away just to lean in and steal one more — There's heat between you, there's warmth where your breath mixes with his.

Aki is breathing hard, his eyelids heavy, his gaze deep and filled with adoration. His face is painted bright pink, all the way to the tips of his pierced ears. You catch the way his expression softens, a little smile on his face, before he gives a half-hearted laugh and buries his face in your shoulder, wrapping his arms around you to pull you into a tight hug.

"Sorry," He mumbles, holding you close, his voice hardly audible as he speaks into your coat, "I didn't mean to keep you out here in the cold."

You can't help but giggle, and you return his embrace. "No, no, it's okay. I'm not that cold, really."

Aki holds you for a bit longer. When he steps back, there's a big, stupid grin on his face, and he sounds a little giddy when he talks; it's a look you've never seen out of him, not once since you've known him. It makes your heart pound, it makes you feel like kissing him again, even though you know you should get going. You'll have to remember to kiss him more the next time you see him.

"I'll, uhm, I'll let you go now." Aki shoves his hands back in his pockets, and as he talks, he's breathing harder, so more cold air wisps out from his mouth with each word: "Call me if you want to go out again, I'm not busy on the weekends. I can pick you up next time, if that's easier. And if you forget my number, I'll… uh…"

"I won't forget it," You interrupt with a laugh. "I have it saved, stupid."

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. That… makes sense. So you'll call me, right?"

"Mhmm. We can go to the movies again if you want." You turn to open your car door, giving Aki one last glance. "But no scary movies."

And Aki gives you one last smile. "Yeah. No scary movies."

dedicated to my love @f1gments 🤲💓

#this...#you had me screaming and squealing so much ahhhh #this is absolutely amazing it's so adorable!!!#my aki brainrot is coming back thanks to this fic #this fic... its perfect...#aki hayakawa x reader #aki x reader #chainsaw man x reader #csm x reader #aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa fluff

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j2lx · 1 year

Text

505. / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, choking, slightly suggestive, lots and lots of angst

You hate him. You fucking hate him.

How could he do this to you again? You trusted him, he gave you his word — Fuck, how could Aki do this to himself? He promised you that he wouldn't let this happen, that he wouldn't use his cursed sword any further. He wouldn't give up more of his life, more of something you both know he can't afford to lose. But he did it again.

A moonlit night, his breath hot on your neck, bare limbs tangled under the sheets like a puzzle that isn't meant to go together, and yet, this is the same position you and him have found each other in almost every night. The headlamps from passing cars shine mosaics of light through the window, and it's there, with Aki's hands clasped in your own, fingers intertwined, and his chest rising, falling, breath coming out in short little pants — It's right here, just a few days ago, where he makes his promise to you.

He stares at you from where you lay under him like you're heaven-sent, like he can't even believe you're here, like he needs to touch you, grab you, hold you close to his heart until you mouth a promise not to disappear. His lips quiver just slightly, sweat drips from his brow. His expression takes on a familiar sort of softness. "I'm not, I won't. I swear on everything I have, I'm- I won't use it, I promise."

You should have known. Aki Hayakawa is a man who doesn't have anything left to swear on.

And that's why you hate him, that's why you can't stand him. That's why you spend your time worrying and worrying and worrying, and it's why you find yourself in his bed yet again. It's why you stumbled over to his apartment without even knowing the reason, or perhaps without even having one.

You came here without caring that it's pouring, without caring to grab your umbrella, without caring about the way the rain soaks your hair, your clothes, your skin, your bones, 'til you're sure you'll catch a cold. You came without bothering to listen to the rest of his voicemail. Hey. I have bad news. Something happened at work today, and I had to... There was something crazy, and then... I just... Fuck, you know what it is. I miss you. I'm sorry, you know I-

You let yourself in with the key that he gave you, and when Aki sees you kicking your shoes off at the door, he doesn't need to ask why you're here. It's the same reason why you're sat on top of him, your pants discarded somewhere in the hallway, his shirt half-unbuttoned, staring down at him like he came fresh out of hell.

His hair is fanned out over the sheets, dark locks messy and knotted. His hands are sprawled above his head, open and upturned; his fingers twitch when your palm cups his cheek, your touch gentle, surprisingly tender, unlike the words you spit out.

I really, really hate you.

The city lights cast shadows over the shape of his face: the curve of his jaw, the peak of his nose. When your palm lingers on his cheek, Aki half-expects you to slap him, to yell at him for being stupid with his life, but even though he's sure he deserves it, you don't. And when your thumb toys with his lips, he half-expects you to kiss him, but you don't have the mercy to bless him with that, either.

Through heavy eyelids, he watches your arms as they glide down, down, your hands coming to rest around the width of his neck. Delicate, trembling fingers hold him softly, as soft as the way the freshly washed sheets feel on his skin, as soft as the warmth from your body pressed to his.

A moment soft like the pitter-patter of the rain on the windowsill, and the resounding pitter-patter of his heart. Lovely like the way you choke him, squeezing tightly, fingertips pressed into his skin, and gentle like the only thing you can manage to muster up next.

It hurts, it hurts so bad. I love you, you know?

Aki knows. He knows it hurts, he knows it's only going to keep on hurting and hurting and hurting, and at this point he knows with the way you love him, there's nothing he can do to stop it. You say those words like it's a question, like it's something that's at all up for debate, but Aki knows, more than he thinks he's known anything in this entire world.

How could he not know? Even as you strangle him, you've got tears in your eyes, an ache in your heart, a somber, pitiful sort of look on your face. The kind of expression that makes Aki want to love you until it starts to twist into something much, much sweeter.

And you're here. You're right here, in his room, when you could be anywhere else. You're wearing his shirt (something he left at your house, most likely), your ears are pierced with his earrings (a drunken mishap, but you still intend on keeping them). His hair tie is around your wrist, and your hands are around his neck. His.

Another firm squeeze makes Aki's eyelashes flutter, it sends blood rushing to his head, it causes tingles to roll over his shoulders. His head feels fuzzy, his mind feels faint. Your touch is on his neck, palm measuring the steady drum of his pulse beneath his skin, fingertips brushing over his Adam's apple, where it bobs in his throat when he swallows.

You choke him harder, his gaze softens. You're choking him, he's losing air, he's trying to stifle little coughs and gags, and yet he stares at you with nothing but utter adoration, nothing but pure love. He holds your wrists in one large, careful hand, rubbing circles into your skin that tell you, This is okay.

If he could speak, if he had the strength to tell you all the things that hide locked away within his mind and feeble tongue, he'd want to say something like, You're beautiful, so, so beautiful. Sweet thing, you're everything to me, did you know that?

Does this make you feel better, is this what you need to forgive me? I don't care what it is, or whatever it takes. Do whatever you'd like with me. I trust you. — You squeeze rougher, hands weighed down with grief, tightened with pain, and he smiles.

Your grip starts to loosen, then. Slowly, your hands grow slack, and then they recede to desperately claw at his shoulders, to drift over the outline of his collarbones. Aki catches his breath, breathing in, out, his heart hammering in his chest.

The tears you've been trying so hard to hold back finally begin to form, droplets blooming over his skin when they fall from your lashes to land on his cheeks. Your body shakes from little sobs, your eyes screw shut. Aki reaches up with one hand, brushing stray tears from your eyes with his thumb. He touches you like he could never hurt you, so tender it makes your head spin, your stomach churn.

With the other hand, he reaches for the nightstand, fumbling to flick on the lamp. Nostalgic yellow light floods the room, and Aki winces at the sudden burn on his vision.

His voice is low. Just a little raspy, just a bit fragile, but so, so gentle: "Shh, it's okay, it's alright," Your soul shatters in the wake of his words, splintering off into pieces, scattered more and more by each and every vow — "It'll be okay, everything will be okay, I promise. I'm here, please, don't cry. I'm sorry, oh, I'm so, so sorry."

You feel weak; your back slumps, your head falls, until you're sobbing into his chest, your hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. And once again, you hate him; you hate the way his palm comes to hold the back of your head oh-so safely, you hate the way his breath in your ear starts to shake, you hate how you can hear every beat of his heart and you know, you know the both of you won't survive this.

You've doomed yourselves from the start. Everything was over from the very beginning, from the first time you met, from the first love-sick night you spent together. From the first time you saw Aki, all bruises and scars, tattered heart and crushingly perfect. From the first time you held him, from the first time you kissed him, you knew he was going to die. And you, your soul would die with his body, you're sure of it.

Aki sighs deeply, and his hand soothingly strokes the back of your head. You're still so cold, clothes and hair still damp from the rain. Thunder crackles from somewhere outside. The bedside lamp flickers for the briefest moment. Aki holds you tighter, closer to himself, and he grasps the covers, pulling them over where the both of you lay. Warmth settles over you like a dreamy cocoon, and your body stills. The two of you, pressed together, like pages of the same tragic little book.

The rain drums against the window, on and on and on. Aki's heart settles to a rhythmic thump, each heartbeat in tune with your own. It's a long while before you feel ready to speak again, your voice breaking the thick silence: "How long? How long did the curse tell you?"

Aki hesitates. His eyes flutter open, and he stares absently at the dull shadows on the ceiling. You swear you can feel the slightest tremor in his fingers. How long does he have left to live? He takes a deep breath, and then answers honestly.

"Two years."

Two years is twenty four months is seven-hundred-something days until he's gone. He had thousands. He'll probably die even sooner. God, you hate this.

That's it, two years, just two, stupid fucking years — It seems like a lot, but a few weeks ago it was five years, a few months ago it was fifteen. Six months ago, you were sitting on his balcony, arms interlocked, drinking cheap beer from the corner store, laughing without a care in the world for tomorrow. Four months ago, you were watching as Aki lights a cigarette, his palm cupped around the flame; You shouldn't smoke, you say like a plea, and he replies, Don't worry, I've got plenty of time left. This won't be what kills me, anyway.

You can't help but huff a dry sort of laugh. Aki asks something that sounds like, What is it? and you bury your nose into his chest further. There's a tiny tinge of hope that maybe he won't hear you.

"You're gonna destroy me, Aki."

#aki x reader #hayakawa aki #hayakawa aki x reader #aki <3 #aki hayakawa #OMG THIS IS SO GOOD #i literally just woke up and saw this #so i read it immediately #why you gotta hurt me like this aki =")#i love this sm ahhhh

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