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[ja-nasam]

Humans of Manila: Lockdown Confessions Untold

July 11, 2021

It was a Sunday. My friends and I planned to travel around Manila for a photowalk. Well, it’s something that I’m looking forward to because I’ve been stuck at home for more than a year. But with that said, it’s also been a year of stagnation for me unfortunately. I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to the changes this pandemic has caused. And it came to a point where I watched myself slowly drowning into the depths of unproductivity. It’s hard to admit that I lost passion in a lot of things, and that includes photography. I used to excel in my Digital Imaging class when I was a freshman. It excites me whenever we are tasked to cover different events, make photo essays and the like. I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting. Am I still good enough? Can I really do this? Am I doing it right? But all those thoughts aside, the only goal I had in mind that day was to finish it.

Along the overthinking spiral of self-doubt comes a wink of hope. I found myself glancing through the jeepney window. It’s kinda refreshing to see different faces again, with different walks of life. It gave me a feeling of exhilaration as I opened doors of curiosity. Several ounces of my creative juices sprinkled my droughted brain. I was kinda lost in my imagination of where could I take inspirations from until I had that one light bulb moment.

What I’ve envisioned is similar to Humans of New York by photographer Brandon Stanton, which is a photoblog and book of street portraits and interviews collected on the streets of New York City. Truth be told, at some point I thought it might sound too ambitious knowing its quality and popularity. Also, my social anxiety won’t let me easily talk to other people. But what’s more to life if we don’t take risks and challenges, right? After all, I’m not here to tell my story, I’m here to amplify voices of the unheard.

Food stalls in Intramuros, Manila remain closed amid community quarantine restrictions.

“Anong kwentong lockdown mo?”

“Alam niyo ba, ghost town ang Intramuros nung unang putok ng COVID? Sa more than 20 years kong nagtitinda ng sorbetes ngayon lang talaga ‘to nangyari. Syempre, natigil ako sa pagtitinda nang ilang buwan at saktuhan lang naman ‘yung kita kaya wala kaming naipon. Kinukuha rin akong clown sa mga children’s party pero simula nung lockdown wala na rin. Pero syempre hindi naman porke gano’n ang nangyari eh titigil ka na talaga. Paano ‘yung asawa’t anak ko? Buti naman eh medyo bumalik na sa normal, at nakakapagsimba na ulit sa Manila Cathedral. Minsan nagto-tour guide din ako pero ngayon gaya nito kapag may mga bumibili at nagtatanong tungkol sa history, nagbibigay ako ng mga trivia.”

“Alam niyo ba na saka lang nakipagbati ang Kastila sa Pilipinas nung nakausap nila si Chito Miranda?”

“Kasi nasa kanya lang pala yung hinahanap nila. Yung parokya… Parokya ni Edgar.”

“Nang dahil sa COVID, napilitan akong manglimos sa kalsada. 84 years old na ‘ko at wala nang tumatanggap sa’kin kapag sinusubukan kong makiusap na magtrabaho. Yung mga apo ko, sa’kin iniwan ng mga anak ko kaya heto, nagbabaka-sakaling may maiuuwi para mamayang hapunan. Dati kahit papaano nakakaraos kasi nagdi-dispatcher ako sa mga jeep pero natigil nung lockdown at ‘di na rin ako pinabalik. Sa tanang buhay ko napakarami ko nang napagdaanan na trabaho. Nagtuturo ako ng driving dati sa Arellano, naging auto mekaniko, truck driver, pero pinakamatagal ako sa pagta-taxi driver. Awa ng Diyos, malakas pa naman ako at walang sakit. Sana’y wag niya muna akong kunin dahil kailangan pa ‘ko ng mga apo ko.”

Church-goers in queue as Quiapo maintains strict safety protocols.

“Dalaga pa lang ako nagtitinda na ‘ko dito sa Quiapo. Ilang presidente na pinagdaanan ko, nagkaasawa’t pamilya, mga apo, dito na ‘ko tumanda sa Quiapo. Buong buhay ko ngayon ngayon lang talaga nagkaganito, matindi talaga ‘yang COVID na ‘yan. Dati hindi mawalan ng tao ang Quiapo pero nung unang lockdown hindi mo aakalain na nasa Quiapo ka. Ayaw na nga sana ‘kong pabalikin ng mga anak ko, kung baga sideline ko na lang naman ‘to dahil napagtapos na namin sila ng asawa ko. Pero ayokong nakatambay lang sa bahay, syempre buong buhay ko nagtitinda ako ng sampaguita dito kaya hahanap-hanapin ko na talaga. Sayang din ang kita dahil marami nang nagsisimba ulit, at panata ko na rin ito sa Diyos Poong Nazareno dahil hindi niya kami pinababayaan.”

POV: You’re in Teresa, Sta. Mesa, Manila.

“Super struggle ngayon, kasi hindi naman lahat stable. Kung baga, lahat naman siguro, ‘no? Lalo na sa’min, tenant lang kami dito tapos yung renta namin for the month, ‘yun talaga hinahabol namin. Pero minsan hindi namin nare-reach ‘yon kaya mahirap. Yung sales at income namin, bumaba talaga. Hindi lang 50%, mas mababa pa roon. Kasi ang expected namin, mga kalahati lang ng gross income namin ang male-less. Pero mas bumaba pa talaga. Mga October na ulit kami nakapagsimula. Buti ngayon eh medyo maluwag na, nahahabol na namin kahit papaano ‘yung target pero hindi pa rin gano’n kalaki. Sobrang nami-miss ko na ‘yung mga estudyante, ‘yung mga suki ko kapag uwian dumadaan sila dito kasi bibili sila ng mga meryenda, sakin sila bibili ng panulak. Kaya mas maganda talaga kung may face to face classes na pero mukhang malabo pa dahil mataas pa rin cases ng COVID at mabagal yung pagbabakuna.”

“Heto, sa awa naman ng Diyos, medyo nakakaraos din. Pero sa pagto-trolley, wala na mahirap na, hindi na talaga kagaya ng dati. Sobrang crisis talaga, lalo na nung nag-lockdown at walang pasok sa PUP. Pag-uwi ko sa trabaho ng alas kwatro, ito nagto-trolley para doble income bukod sa pagse-security guard. Sa umaga, swerte nang makadalawang balik ng trolley pero apat apat lang. Sa hapon naman, swerte nang makaisang punuan pero hindi na makakabalik pa ng isa kasi syempre matutulog pa ko. Minsan nga nagkakasakit na ‘ko sa sobrang pagod, ‘di ko alam kung COVID na ba ‘yon o hindi naman siguro. Pero kailangan ko talagang magdoble kayod para may maipadala ako sa anak ko. Tagal ko na ring hindi umuuwi ng probinsya sa Tacloban dahil nga sa pandemic. Sana matapos na talaga ‘tong COVID, dapat sumunod sa mga protocol para lumuwag na ang sitwasyon.”

Warm orange hues of the sun falls behind the horizon as the dusk awaits the dark. I guess, it’s a sign to call it a day. Funny how I started this journey completely clueless, just thinking of finishing the task. Then it became ‘let’s see how far I can take this’ kind of thing. And as I was waiting a ride home, I had this fulfillment that I haven’t felt in a while. It’s like witnessing myself, rising from the ashes that this pandemic has turned me into. It feels great to be finally back, and be able to do my passion.

To read articles is one thing. Watching documentaries is another. But to actually go places, find people to interview, listen to their narratives, and somehow immerse to their environment even for a short period of time really makes an impact on perspectives regarding different issues, society, and life in general. There’s a lot more going on than the news you read, videos you share online, and what you hear nearby. I was fortunate enough to meet these individuals, hear what they have to say, and give them a platform.

“We are all in the same ocean, but never in the same boat.”

—is a realization I already had since the beginning of community quarantine, but it was truly emphasized and manifested as I roamed the busy streets of Manila. Others are even on their yachts, living their lives in full luxury. While the rest of the population are just floating around, with fervent faith and prayers, trying their best not to be carried away by the strong current. These people need help more than what we think.

While this pandemic has proved how unprepared, and self-serving the government is, I’m still hoping they’ll take our situation more seriously, have feasible and long-term solutions that could help everyone, specially those who are marginalized. But rather than just merely hoping, in a vibrant democracy, journalism and media have the power and responsibility to both inform and inspire the public to political action. And through this, I believe, we could start a positive change not only for the humans of Manila, but the rest of the Filipino nation.

And after all,

“The job of the newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.”

- Finley Peter Dunne

[ja-nasam]

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