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#prev #joey forever being the realest

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BECCA’S FOLLOWER CELEBRATION ↳ yennefer of vengerberg in dark2light purplepeach for @ivashkovadrian

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Fics where jaskier is a Secret Noble™ are funny, but few things top "yeah, geralt still thinks my birth name is jaskier, I adore him but I literally introduced myself to the inkeeper as Julian Alfred pankratz, viscount de lettenhove not two hours ago"

Geralt, having just met Jaskier's family for a contract and not put two and two together: Jaskier, come over here

Jaskier, who's parents definitely recognise him and definitely just heard the dangerous witcher call him buttercup, suddenly willing to die for the bit: what's up dear?

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Would LOVE to see some Geralt/Jaskier fic! What about a truth spell? Or a LIES ONLY spell???

Ooo, truth spell, i like it! Thanks for the prompt, anon, and stay safe

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“What it is?”

“I’m not sure, so we ought to be careful. No, Jaskier, wait, don’t touch it -”

Too late. The ornately carved box tucked away at the bottom of the treasure chest flicks open and releases a cloud of purple smoke into their faces.

Jaskier feels the uncomfortable prickle of magic across his skin, coughs, sees Geralt suffering from the same.

“Are you ok?” he asks.

“I could use some sleep,” Geralt says, then squints, like he hadn’t meant to say that. He shakes his head. “I mean, I’m fine.” He pauses for a second before more words come spilling out. “I‘m tired and I’m hungry, and I‘d really like a bath, but I don’t like to worry you so I’d rather say I’m fine.” He frowns.

Jaskier frowns too. That was most unusual.

“Ahh, shit,” Geralt says. “Old casket, purple smoke. I think this is a truth spell.”

Jaskier perks up at that. “Oh boy, this is going to be fun.“

“Oh, is it? How would you like it if I forced you to answer any question honestly?”

“You can ask me whatever you want,” Jaskier shrugs. “I always tell you the truth.”

Geralt narrows his eyes. “Did you steal the last of the jerky from my pack last week?”

“You know I did. I told you we should have packed more food.”

Geralt scowls. “What happened to my best dagger, the one you swore you wouldn’t touch and yet mysteriously disappeared?”

“I sold it to pay for the healer when that harpy took a bite out of you.”

“Oh.” Geralt purses his lips. “How come Roach is so fond of you these days?”

“I bribe her with sugar cubes, obviously.”

He can see Geralt is not finding this as entertaining as he expected.

“My turn, then,” Jaskier says cheerfully. He has a brilliant first tactical strike planned. “How’s my singing?”

“Ethereal,” Geralt says, a dreamy look crossing his face briefly before he snaps his mouth shut and goes back to glaring.

“I knew you liked it! Hah, sweet vindication. Alright then, tell me, I’m your very best friend in the whole world, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” Geralt sulks. He might have admitted the fact, but he doesn’t look happy about it. Jaskier wonders what that says about their apparent friendship.

“Why do you let me hang around with you anyway?” He hadn’t been planning to ask that, but the question had been burning in the back of his mind for years now.

“God damn it, Jaskier!” Geralt’s eyes look like they’re going to pop out from the effort he’s putting into not answering. But even a witcher is defenseless against some spells.

“Because you’re only person I truly trust,” he bursts out. “Because traveling with you makes the Path less lonely. Because everywhere we go people are nicer to me now, and that’s all down to you. Because I notice the way you’re always kind to those in need. Because I like your jokes, even when I pretend I don’t, and I like your ridiculous outfits and your stupid hair and the way you smell, and because I’ve been in love with you for years and I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

It comes out in one breathless rush. It’s probably the most words Jaskier has heard Geralt say in one go, ever. He slams his hand over his mouth and looks like he is truly hoping the ground will swallow him whole.

Joy and elation and hope crash through Jaskier in waves, and he can’t keep the wide, ecstatic grin off his face. They’re going to have a lot to talk about later, once the spell has worn off and they can have a normal conversation.

For now though, Jaskier merely raises one teasing eyebrow and flicks his fringe out of his face with a dramatic toss of his head. “I knew you liked my hair.”

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the first and last time Geralt suggested he sleep on the floor when there was only one bed at the inn

you know once Geralt finally got in bed and was almost asleep Jaskier whispered “so are you overcome with lust now that you’re touching my nubile young body” and he almost got up and bedded down with Roach in the stable lol

[ID Jaskier leans dramatically back on the bed as Geralt stands awkwardly next to the bed. Jaskier is laughing as he says “oh no! A scoundrel alone in a room with me? My precious virtue will be in danger sharing a bed with such a handsome rogue. Please good sir I am an innocent bard who has never known the touch of a man” End ID]

#screaming op

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they never filmed a scene with Yennefer and Jaskier at the same ball because they'd just be doing this the whole time

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THE WITCHER: SEASON TWO A (Meme) Summary — x, x, x

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like to boost in the tags, reblog for a larger voting pool please!

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Imagine Jaskier working part time in a coffee shop during his college days. Fast forward to the present, after he meets Yennefer and Geralt. Now they are living together and Jaskier graciously offers to make Yennefer a coffee in the morning, then hands her this:

#he’s trying his best

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*after toss a coin becomes popular, and witchers are liked*

Geralt: Why is everyone baring their teeth at me?

Jaskier: They are smiling at you

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okay but jaskier who is ye olde passenger princess who never has ANY idea where they are at ANY point

what town is this? no clue. what part of the continent? unclear. how did he end up here? idk man geralt picks a direction and jaskier follows that's all he knows

people ask him for help planning journeys bc he's been all over the continent for decades, so SURELY he is An Expert Traveler, but you could ask him how to get out of the tavern he's in and he'd just shrug. navigating is a Geralt Job. he doesn't know how he gets anywhere. he just ends up places. ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

jaskier is Too Pretty for such things. it would take up valuable space in his brain for songs and poems.

#op ur tags fuck u actually #for legal reasons this is a joke #but also. ow.

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For the shirt cut meme, maybe Geralt or Yennefer in either of these? 🥵

both. BOTH.

i combined your suggestion with this lovely anon's:

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Imagine Yennefer doing this to Geralt and Jaskier just to mess with them

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#when your boyf dumps you and you take up talking to animals

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chart with all my favorite fictional guys on it and it looks like this