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This is possibly Edward’s most hilarious misunderstanding in the book. But imagine Rose’s wrath if Edward actually invited Bella to her wedding.

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Jessica: welcome to the “fuck Bella” support group, where we all gather here monthly to give a collective “fuck you” to her.

Rosalie: before we start, lets hear a few special words from our newest member!

Alice: *visably sweating* so... i may have misunderstood...

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Esme talking to edward by the piano: “You are the best and brightest of us all.”

Jasper and Emmett playing chess like three feet away:

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ok but why is edward so convinced that if he kisses or sleeps with bella that he’ll kill her... he literally says himself that tanya and her sisters would regularly sleep with human men and they wouldn’t die. the precedence is there,,,, if he had bothered to do any research or think about it for more than two seconds.... just saying

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emmett is so valid because the whole time he’s thinking edward is just SO stupid. just absolutely off his rocker lost his shit. like “can’t be me loving a human but i support it. human rights and all that” kind of energy. love him.

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shane and ryan in the roller derby episode:

hell yeah buddy!! good job!! i believe in you!! :))

shane and ryan in the go kart episode:

GET OUT OF MY WAY! I'LL K̸̺͊̂Ĭ̷̢̹̭͕̼̳͈͈̮͍̑̓͋́̉̿͊̂͠L̶̬͉̻̰͒̈͐̔Ļ̷̼̟̣̺͌̐̀ͅ ̵̤͕͕̪̺̯̫͇̫̋̈́͌̈͑͛͑̔ͅY̵͉̞̩̺͂̊̓͂́͆̽͠Ó̶̧̟̺̜̮͖̣̺͈̮̉̈̓͌̉̒̈̎U̶̘̣̘̭̫̗̦̙̐͆̔̏̄̌̔̾̈̚

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Twilight Saga + The Onion Headlines Part 3

Part 1 / Part 2

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sometimes I think about this line and wonder what exactly was The Last Straw for poor esme

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Why be a witness for the Cullens when you can just start an international vampire bowling tournament with your buddies and allow the Cullens to face the consequences of their actions instead of endangering your loved ones who weren't the ones who provoked the Volturi?

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i know carlisle was changed when he was 23 but consider this: i don’t care he’s in his 30s

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because i need a visual reference, i had to find and make my own fancast for edward, because rob just doesn’t look like him to me.

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It couldn’t be more terrifying than making a promise with myself.

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“Esme and Carlisle have the most spiritual relationship, for lack of a better word.“ ― Stephenie Meyer

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Not twilight, go ahead and scroll past if not interested.

Currently dealing with some familial issues. My grandfather was diagnosed with the same cancer my daddy passed away from two years ago. They give him 6 weeks to 6 months to live, which is what they said to my dad, who passed away 3 days later.

My grandmother was in shock today when I visited and she repeatedly asked me details about my dad’s last week with us, bringing up a lot of trauma I try not to relive on a daily basis. It was awful seeing someone I love decline in a matter of hours to a point where they weren’t even conscious.

My mother is not in the best state of mental health since before my dad died, so now I’m preparing myself to deal with the emotional burden of dealing with her. It’s her dad who is sick, who she adores.

We need good vibes, prayers, thoughts and well wishes as we go through this challenging time. Thank you for reading this far, I hope you enjoy my blog 🥰

#not twilight #personal

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new moon is an interesting meditation on how easy it is to trick yourself into settling for something just because it’s easy and comfortable… not that new moon-era jacob is any lesser than edward or someone to settle for… but bella didn’t want to be with jacob. she needed him, he helped her heal, he helped her survive, but she wasn’t living. she didn’t feel alive. not really. the line “could i betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?” is very telling. she almost tricked herself into thinking that she wanted jacob, but only because something with him would be something other than misery and emptiness. she does love him. she does. but never the way she loved edward