jayykesley

[jayykesley]

[jayykesley]

Is there hate in your heart? Is your passion discrimination and profiling? Do you enjoy browsing Facebook? We are once again hiring for airport security positions

[jayykesley]

i learned that each woman spends approximately $5,600 on her period over her lifetime (x)

#reusable pads are all i’ve used for the past couple of years #much more comfortable and hold more blood before needing to be changed #also you don’t bleed on the patterned part #there’s a dark plain softer patch on the other side #and i don’t think it bleeds through (or would be very difficult to do so)

[jayykesley]

hazmat is short for hazardous matthew

[jayykesley]

obsessed with harvey at the y2 luau. absolutely busting ass with this quirked up jpeg shuffle. hes such a shut-in i bet this was like a magical girl transformation for him. the townsfolk see him walk onto the dance floor and are like ohhhh shit peepaws about to bust it down narsty style. fuck it UP white boy. the last ditch effort of a swagless migratory bird throwing back his ENTIRE pussy to attract a mate. im so obsessed with him you dont understa

#stardew valley #op?????

[jayykesley]

How to spot a ‘fake’ gamer

Frequently pronounces video games as “Blideo Bames”

Will often say “I need help passing this level it’s really hard” then when you look at their screen it’s running Microsoft Excel 2007

They invite you over to their place to check out their game collection and it’s just every season of Frasier (still impressive)

Their Xbox One is actually a series of tissue boxes glued together with the word “NINTEMDO” painted over it

When you ask their favourite video game they respond by doing a series of skillful backflips, temporarily distracting you from having asked the question in the first place

Keeps a secret diary with “I HATE VIDEO GAMES AND I NEVER PLAY THEM” written on every page

[jayykesley]

my favourite thing in stardew valley is how when you upgrade your house for the first time, you go from a single bed to a double bed overnight. implying that robin moved you from one bed to the other while you were asleep.

#stardew valley

[jayykesley]

hup

[jayykesley]

IM SO SICK OF YOU ALL

No nuance allowed. please share for a bigger sample 💕💕💕💕💕

*by eat i mean how do you prefer your cereal.

#cold in a glass separate from the cereal #bc i don’t want soggy cereal

[jayykesley]

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

[jayykesley]

#i could take her to the beach to walk around in the warm sand #but i could also fight her #i mean i would t want to but i guess i could

[jayykesley]

My muse.

[jayykesley]

#i only know crochet #but i’d like to give knitting another try #and eventually sewing once i have enough room for a sewing machine and can get it fixed

[jayykesley]

“If you have time to watch Netflix you have time for a side hustle” my side hustle is relaxing so that my body and brain can heal from by this nose-to-the-grindstone bullshit. I refuse to feel guilty for being a human with the need to relax sometimes. my side hustle is no.

[jayykesley]

Happy black cat day!!

Here are some black cats I've drawn through the years

[jayykesley]

jesus holding a lamb based on that painting of jesus holding a lamb

[jayykesley]

my life advice is if anyone ever says 'let me know if there's anything i can do' think of something for them to do even if you feel like they didn't mean it. if they didn't mean it they shouldn't have said it and if they did mean it u will both feel closer to each other for it.