jen-thine-hen

[jen-thine-hen]

Imagine showing up to work one day and people are like "jesus fucking christ there's a corpse in here", herd you to the back room and everyone who sees you also agrees that there is now a dead body where you are sitting, with the appropriate amount of shock and disgust about it. You figure it's some kind of a prank that they're pulling, but also the people that you know aren't into pranks, or aren't very good actors, are treating you like a corpse. They go weirdly back and forth between talking about you as if you're not there, and politely asking you to stay still while they figure out who you're supposed to call in case of a dead body randomly appearing.

Paramedics show up, study you thoroughly and agree that while they can't see any apparent sign of death, you are, indeed, dead, and ask you to climb aboard the ambulance. You're taken to the temporary corpse storage that hospitals have.

On the way there you ask them whether this kind of shit happens often, and while they won't look at you, the paramedics agree that they've never had a talking corpse before, though they won't question the fact that you're moving on your own.

You're eventually led to a morgue, where you're shown a slab to lay on, and at this point you don't really even question it, you just climb onto the Corpse Shelf and lay down, maybe have a little nap, with no idea what's going to happen next.

Then you wake up to someone walking into the morgue, who has the shit scared out of them when you move, and they're like "dude what the fuck, you're not supposed to be here, this place is for storing dead bodies" and when you're like "aw man sorry I thought I was a dead body" they have no idea whether you're joking and they don't care, you're just chased out of there.

And you just kinda go home and take a shower, show up to work normally the next day and nobody questions it.

And basically that's probably how those ants feel when scientists spray them with the Pheromone That Dead Ants Smell Like, and just hang out at the dead-ant-pile until the smell wears off.

[jen-thine-hen]

"pasta only fills you up with empty calories" have you considered that it also fills me with love

[jen-thine-hen]

[jen-thine-hen]

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off

[jen-thine-hen]

[jen-thine-hen]

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

[jen-thine-hen]

“counterspell” or as i like to call it “Nuh uh”

[jen-thine-hen]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[jen-thine-hen]

Whoever cast Echidna as a PTA mom was so right for that

Mother of all monsters? Yeah, I’ll bet her kid is the absolute worst

and she knows it

It’s giving “how dare you accuse my child of such a thing. We do so much for this school and this is what we get?”

#pjo

[jen-thine-hen]

THAT HURT!!! SO MUCH!! I GOT "Family Luke. You promised." FLASHBACKS!!!

#pjo

[jen-thine-hen]

it is definitely cannon that everyone at camp calls Percy "Annabeth's boyfriend". They'll be showing a new kid around the place and be like "oh yeah, that's Annabeth's boyfriend, Percy. He's also the hero of olympus, beat the god of war, and a child of poseidon or whatever."

#pjo

[jen-thine-hen]

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

[jen-thine-hen]

I really like this version of hades they've gone with in the pjo show

this is a guy who's chilling, he's content in his solitude, he knows that his wife will be home in a matter of weeks

and not only that but the second percy figures it out, he immediately offers sanctuary

I like to see a hades that doesn't stick with the dark, brooding and depressed idea we have of him because this is a man who has been able to remove himself from the toxicity of his family is is clearly all the more happier for it

#pjo

[jen-thine-hen]

Knowing how Hades is in the show now it’ll be really funny to see him and Nico interact bc Nico will be all Dark and Depressed in the underworld and Hades will just be like “son… please… you’re killing the vibe”

[jen-thine-hen]

[jen-thine-hen]

Pjo last ep spoilers

#pjo

[jen-thine-hen]

jugs

#pjo