jessicapenna

[jessicapenna]

What Are They Thinking?

Clearly those people who voted in that cruel and inhuman abortion law in NY today have never experienced infertility or had to endure a miscarriage(I’ve been through both.) It’s bad enough that abortion, murdering future children is legal at all, now they can kill babies who are viable outside of the womb. It’s sick!!

Visiting NY has always been on my bucket list: to walk down the busy streets, shop and dine in the lavish store and restaurants, and visit some of our country’s historical sights. However, now that they have allowed something so grotesque to be permitted in their state, I don’t even want to set foot there now and especially don’t want to give them my hard earned money.

This can’t be what the majority of their citizens want. I refuse to believe that this will be allowed to stand in this country. Obviously, Everyone needs to pray for our country and it’s leaders. We are a country built on God, and I pray that we return to those ideals before it’s too late.

#Pray

[jessicapenna]

John 15:2

“Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

https://www.bible.com/114/jhn.15.2.nkjv

If we take a closer look at this verse, it can really speak volumes about the importance of doing work for the kingdom of God.

Jesus speaks in parables a lot! This one is one of my favorites bc it is so deep and really makes you think. He compares himself to a vine and says we are the branches on that vine. Bearing fruit is also mentioned more in the New Testament, most notably with “the fruits of the spirit.” These fruits refer to the different gifts that God gives us when we accept Jesus and ask Him to come into our hearts and lives.

Now if you are living on this planet, then God loves you. He wants you to believe He is all that the Bible says He is. He wants you to desire a relationship with Him. When that happens, you now have the responsibility of bearing fruit (using your gifts to bring honor to God.) That means that you take it upon yourself to help those who do not know God, to find Him.

This verse is neat because God does everything He can to help you succeed in this. The word “prune” means “to rid or clear of -anything superfluous or undesirable-“ (dictionary.com.) God literally gets rid of any hinderance in your life. Unfortunately, sometimes that means ridding your life of toxic people or relationships.

I believe that if we could see into the future and see what God’s plan is for our lives, we wouldn’t be so hesitant to trust him. Nevertheless, it is important that we allow God to “prune” the fruitless branches in our lives so that we thrive in the vine.

[jessicapenna]

I wonder if people know...

I wonder if people know that sometimes teachers cry themselves to sleep.

Before school starts you spend your own money to buy things for your room and extra school supplies because you know not everyone will have what they need.

During the year you see kids coming down the halls with the same shirt on two days in a row of multiple days the same week. It may or may not have the stains from a previous lunch because it hasn’t been washed.

You do the best you can to teach what is required of you but there are still people who accuse you of making things too hard. You try to spend as much time with every child as you can, but you are only one person. Then you still have people who send or say hurtful things to you because of one thing or another.

I wonder if people know that sometimes you sit in your car and cry or tear up the whole way home because of something that happened that day. You want to “save the world” but find that unfortunately that isn’t realistic, even though you still try.

You have to deal with the fact that sometimes people talk about you in public or on social media and even in front of a child you teach. Kids hear everything.

I wonder if people know how hard it is to stick to your guns when a child comes to you and apologizes after a decision has already been made due to their actions or behavior. You want to just cave, but you also want to teach them that there are consequences for their actions. However, it still hurts when you tell them the decision stands and see the regret on their face. That’s hard.

You worry that you aren’t doing enough to prepare them for “the test” and life after your class, even though you are doing everything you can think of to get the material across in a way that everyone can understand.

You wonder when you go home what that kid that grabs every extra milk or juice that was left on the lunch table is going to eat tonight.

You wonder why that kid says they wish they could go home with you and your kids. It may be nothing or it may be something.

You wonder why people think that you don’t deserve more money for what you do. I mean you are teaching the next generation to read and write and work with numbers and actually think. Hmm...

You wonder if anything you’re saying or doing is even making a difference at all.

I wonder if people know all this runs through your brain all - the - time.

[jessicapenna]

I had a good title, but I forgot.

What do I mean by “The Good News?”

Well, it is actually good news. No matter who you are or what you’ve done, there is someone out there who loves you.

Things that were written centuries ago are coming to fruition today.

Jesus’ story has survived for thousands of years and is still being taught. The Bible is one of the most sold books for a reason. People feel the void that the world leaves in their lives.

Those who truly believe in the Lord go through life trying to live each day better than the one before. They have a moral compass. They are to practice empathy and forgiveness. They believe in Heaven and Hell. If you accept Jesus into your heart, you are welcomed into Heaven when you leave this Earth. If you deny Jesus then you spend eternity separated from Him.

Don’t over complicate things. Some things cannot be solved. Some questions can’t be answered by mankind. Overthinking or pride, in my opinion, isn’t worth what it costs if you are wrong about Jesus. If you choose to listen to the world, it will cost you eternity. If you humble yourself and seek the truth, you have so much to gain.

Is everyday easy? No.

Are there still hard times? Yes.

The Bible tells us that there were those back then who didn’t believe in Jesus either. They were powerful leaders and influential, but they couldn’t stop people from seeing and believing. Persecution existed then just like it exists now. However, for most of us now days it comes in the form of nasty comments or a blatant disregard for our beliefs. Either way we are called to love one another as ourselves. It’s not always easy, but that’s the command.

We make our own decisions and can’t blame anyone else when it’s all said and done.

I believe I will stand before the Lord one day. I long to hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” That will be a good day. I want as many people as possible to join me.

[jessicapenna]

Flawed

I recently read a Bible study that focuses on why we react to certain things badly when it come to our spouse. This person curmized that our over reactions to minor offenses stem from previous events, probably during our childhood, that left us with unresolved feelings. I buy that!

At times I can blow things way out of proportion. It is one of my more unsavory qualities. I take an offense that may be a level 3 out of 10, on a scale of 1-10, and react with a level 8 attitude.

I won’t go into this too much, but I watched my mom suffer through a terrible relationship when I was a child. This man was manipulative, controlling, and just plain mean. What he called “picking,” I called pure meanness and disrespect.

Don’t misunderstand, my husband isn’t mean or anything like that man; however, he does like to “pick” and aggravate pretty much everyone. (Apparently he gets it honest.) But some of the time the smallest thing like that will set me on edge. Other times I lose my temper completely, and say something that I usually regret later, even though I felt provoked at the time. That’s my excuse, anyways...

It’s difficult for me to not make that comparison even though it’s not the same situation. I strive to be a calm, cool, and collected person, and it chips away at me every time I lose my temper. My goal is to take this, for lack of a better term, flaw in my personality and use these moments as opportunities to grow as a person. Generate a better response. Thus eventually overcoming this “anger ball” that eats its way through my insides.

It is a lot harder to be the bigger person and overlook what aggravates me than I care to admit. Hopefully in this endeavor I will eventually succeed. Prayers accepted!

[jessicapenna]

The Little Ant

I don’t know about anyone else, but as an avid reader of mostly fiction, my mind comes up with all kinds of crazy things to deal with everyday life. I guess it’s my brains way of making my life interesting when it’s just not. It could also be my way of making everyday situations memorable.

Anyway, there’s been this little ant 🐜 that I see crawling on my bathroom floor every time I’m in there. He’s been here for a couple days. We’ve recently had an incident where my three year old niece had some fun with some fish food, and we didn’t find out until days later. Needless to say we thought we had all the little buggers gone; however, this little dude seems resilient. When I look at him wandering around looking all lost, I can’t help but let my mind think of all the entertaining, albeit unlikely, possibilities for his presence.

One ☝️ idea that comes to mind is that he was sent to test my character. He’s not a regular ant at all; instead he is checking to see if I am someone who shows mercy or someone who will just squash him for simply being in my way. Situations where my mind has the opportunity to roam allow me to reflect on my actions as a person, a mom, and a teacher. I then ask myself what is the harm in letting him live? He isn’t hurting anything really. He’s another of God’s creatures that deserves a chance at life.

A more creative, supernatural alternative is that he is a spy sent to report on my day to day life like a real life ant-man. Maybe I am someone of great importance, who has not yet been made aware of some incredible secret of my heritage. Everyday he reports back to headquarters what goes on in my home. It also looks good to them that I am a person who is willing to let a seemingly ordinary ant live rather than easily ending his life.

Whatever the reason for this little ants presence I am glad he’s here. He makes me think, not only about what I want out of life, but about others as well. In all likelyhood he’s just a regular ant doing regular ant things, trapped in a bathroom with no trail to follow home. But Is killing him worth the risk? Either way he is a living creature with as much right to live as I do. Just because I feel like my life has more meaning than his doesn’t mean it’s true.

Often times people only refrain from doing bad things to others because they know someone is watching them. Thinking 🤔 this way, using my imagination, is one way to keep myself in check. I can ask myself, “Would you do this if you knew someone was watching?” The answer for me is the same as it would be for most people. I would never do something shady or hurtful if I knew I was being watched. Maybe this little ant is watching me, maybe not. Either way, why would I risk it???.....

#TheLittleAnt LifeLessons

[jessicapenna]

When you have your first child you wonder how you could love another child so much. But when that little person makes their appearance, it’s as easy as breathing.

#momoftwo #boysarethebest #fullheart

[jessicapenna]

Oh Tonight...

I don't know what I thought tonight was going to be like. I imagined it going a lot of different ways: people outside in the fall, night air, kids running around, Zach lighting a fire in the fire pit. Needless to say it did not happen that way. First off, it was raining and freezing all of a sudden, so we all had to pile in our house (it's open but not enough space for 50 people). All of the kids had to play in Chan's room, which was destroyed after only a few minutes. We did have a nice variety of food thanks to family and friends bringing a little here and there.

I appreciate what everyone did to help us tonight, and I love everything that Baby Wes received. Our family bent over backwards when they saw me break down in a tear-filled frenzy. They stayed to help straighten up the house, cleaned up left over food, and made sure I was good before they left. Not to mention the awesome gifts we received tonight. I'm just overly emotional about it not going how I imagined it in my mind.

I know I am nerdy and a perfectionist and overly emotional right now, but I just want people to enjoy themselves. I know I need a break from adulting sometimes, so I guess I assume everyone feel that way. But I think tonight was more of a burden on people than a fun night. I was hoping that this one-time Halloween themed baby shower would start a yearly Halloween party for everyone to get together and dress us and have fun, but now I don't think that it is something that people around here would want to do. 😔

[jessicapenna]

Super Annoyed

I feel super annoyed with so many things right now. The only way I can express my frustrations without being a douche to someone is to write about it on here. I've only 9 weeks to go with this pregnancy, nothing is ready, our contractor for our addition just got us the estimate for the bank, and now we are having to wait on my husband to get the stuff he should have already done for his shop. Needless to say it will not be ready, maybe even started, by the time the baby comes. We have nothing except a few clothes for Wes, and our shower isn't until the end of October. I've been under the weather this weekend, pretty sure I've had some B.H. Contractions that are causing some discomfort, and I had to beg someone to go get my groceries for the week, then they forget to get me lunch even though they ate lunch.

I am just sitting outside on a patio chair in the sunshine hoping some vitamin D will take away my desire to throttle someone.

[jessicapenna]

Red dress anyone?

#maternitypics #red dress #fairy tale #mare

[jessicapenna]

If I've learned anything over the past few years it is that work is not your whole life. I love my job, I love teaching, and I love being a part of my school community. But at the end of the day, the stresses of work should not affect what happens when we get home.

#perspective

[jessicapenna]

Why Worry?

It may sound obvious to some, but worrying really has no benefits. It doesn't change the outcome or prevent things from happening. All worrying does is make your life harder by allowing stressful thoughts to take over your brain.

Example: I graduated with my Master's degree in education the weekend before school started for teachers. However, my district only allows 45 days to get your raise approved once school starts. That may sound like a lot, but when you have to wait for final grades to post, the university to mail your official transcript to your state department (bc they don't e-script), the review of your new degree application, and the state to post your new license change, it can take a minute. I worried myself sick until I finally turned it over to God and said "it is what it is."

When did the state get my degree posted you may ask? Day 44.

[jessicapenna]

Work Flow

It's tough going back to work after a long weekend. It didn't feel quite right missing Monday, even though I wasn't really missing anything.

I love my job; I have the student loans to prove it, but sometimes I wish I could do multiple things. Once I actually get to work, things go well usually, but it seems like any extra vacation or days off makes me second guess my life choices. 😂

Plus, being near my third trimester helps none at all!

[jessicapenna]

The Weekend Trip?

So after this weekend I have completely changed my opinion about the "weekend trip." I used to feel like weekend trips were a complete waste of time and money because at home my weekends seem ridiculously short. But after this mother/daughter trip to Biloxi, I have changed my mind. This was less than a five hour drive on Friday after work. We stayed at the Beau Rivage hotel, lounged by the pool, enjoyed their many dining options and shops, as well has dinner out on the town. It has felt full and enjoyable. Today, we rose early and stopped at the outlet mall for a couple hours, now we are catching lunch on our way home. We will be home by supper time. All in all I think that a small weekend trip is a must to experience every now and then.

#weekendtrip

[jessicapenna]

Today

I am just tired... I work all day like normal people, but then come home to what feels like a second full time job. My son has a lot of homework to prepare for his tests tomorrow (which I am good with bc that's what it takes to succeed in the world); he and I both have to have bags packed for this weekend; a mountain of laundry needs to be done for said packing (just did it all last week); dishes from this week need to be done (No, I don't have a dishwasher); and at some point supper has to be cooked. I mean... life is just busy. There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to do all that needs to be done, not to mention how exhausted I am being 6 months pregnant. My husband is suppose to be off work today, but he's at his desk working (Small business owner). He works very hard and doesn't get a day off either. I guess when it comes down to it being busy is much better than sitting idly by and watching other people live their lives. I'm sure at some point before tomorrow it will all get done. I guess I could put my 7 year old to work 😁. Here's hoping!!

[jessicapenna]

The Struggle Is Real

Despite the fact that I feel my second baby boy moving, inside I still get nervous that something will happen to one or both of us. I know I shouldn't bc God has a plan for my family and me; however, it is still hard not to worry. I think the problem is that people pretend that they are perfect and have no worries. Everyone knows that at some point we all struggle; whether one is a Christian or not is irrelevant. No one is perfect, and we all fall short in some ways. If more people would admit their short comings then the need to pretend to be perfect wouldn't feel so heavy. I wonder how many people put up a front for the world but lay in bed at night unable to sleep bc of life. I bet it's more than you think. If I could say anything to help, it would be to just be real with the world about your struggles bc that will lead to a better, more honest you.

[jessicapenna]

Practice spelling test

#momlife