joecheese

[joecheese]

Six of Crows 🧤🔪🃏☠️🐺💣

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[joecheese]

Nina: Hey, what does BDSM mean?

Jesper: Well-

Matthias: BIBLE DISCUSSION AND STUDY MEETING

Jesper:

Nina, talking to a nonexistent camera: I know what it means, I just wanted to see what they'd say.

[joecheese]

Wake Up Call

PAIRING: Kaz Brekker x Reader (female)

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: none, possible ooc Kaz?

Possible Six of Crows spoilers 

SUMMARY: you’re not a morning person.  Who can blame you?

Another morning, another hour, another day for money to be made.  The sun had not yet completed its daily trek up the horizon, only the first sleek strands of its golden rays peeked between Ketterdam’s everlasting blanket of grey smog.  

Kaz and his murder crowded his desk.  Dirtyhands was as alert and observant as always, despite the early hour; Jesper was only awake for the addictive prospect of battle during the job they were going over at that very moment; the Wraith kept her quiet, mellow presence quiet on Kaz’s windowsill; Wylan was shifting between yawning and fiddling with some metallic object that strongly resembled a bomb; Nina was munching on waffles–a gift from Inej who had the foresight to bring them; and Matthias, being the soldier he was, was standing at attention behind Nina’s chair.  That left you, who, despite living in Ketterdam your whole life, philosophized that if you did not have to get up you would not.  

Both of Kaz’s hands rested atop his golden crow’s head.  He was impatient to start the pre-mission briefing but it was inevitably stalled by your absence.  He sighed, pressing gloved fingers to the bridge of his nose.  “Someone go wake Y/N.” 

Before Kaz could utter ‘go,’ Nina was already out the door and half way down the stairs with Matthias in tow.  “Matthias, I saw more waffles downstairs, didn’t you?”  

“No, I do-”  

Inej had vanished from her perch before Kaz could even look at her and Kaz knew that Wylan would be too timid to do anything more than poke you once.  

“Go on Jesper,” Jesper nearly shivered as Kaz’s black coffee eyes landed on him.  He only got half way out of his chair.  

“I did it last time,” he protested.  

“Jesper.” 

“Fine!”  He threw his hands up.  “You all owe me,” he grumbled.  Despite his complaining, Jesper skipped down the stairs to the third floor and barged into your room with no abandon.  It could only have been ninety seconds before he came running back into Kaz’s office with his tail between his legs.  

“Kaz, you have to save me!” 

The aforementioned man glanced up from the papers he was sifting through for only a moment.  “I don’t see Y/N.”  

“She’s going to kill me!” 

“I’m going to kill you unless you get her up.” 

“That’s better than what she has planned for me!  You didn’t hear what she said!” 

“What did she say?”

“It’s too terrifying to repeat,” Jesper said solemnly.  

Kaz thought it was too early to be getting a headache.

He pressed the papers into a neat pile that lined up with the right angle of his makeshift desk.  He limped down the stairs as his cane punctuated each of his crooked steps.  Kaz’s frame blocked out the light from the hallway as he stood in the doorway but you had heard him long before that.  

Unlike Inej, your room had no windows and only thin slivers of light pricked in the boards of the run-down walls.  Until Jesper had thrown open the door, you were bathed in glorious darkness.  You were on your stomach, your blanket had been wound multiple times in your legs and half of your pillow hung off of the cot.  

“Y/N.” 

He received no reply nor did he expect to.  “Get up, time for the briefing,” he said, jabbing your ankle with his cane, although some selfish part of him wanted to keep watching you, disheveled and peaceful.  

“I already know what happens: we go somewhere, Inej climbs a wall, Jesper shoots, Wylan explodes, you do whatever you do.  You know, the usual,” your voice was thick with sleep.  

“Get up.” 

You rolled over.  The floorboards creaked in protest.  With your eyes still closed, you threw Kaz a lazy smile.  To his slight horror, the corners of Kaz’s mouth quirked up.  “Don’t be so grouchy.  I would say you could join me but you’d take up all the room,” you teased.  

“Inej got Nina waffles.” 

“Really now?”  One eye peeked open.  “Are there any left?”  

“You’d have to get up to find out.” 

“That’s cruel, Brekker,” the floorboards groaned once more when you rolled off your cot.  Your fingers caught in the knots in your hair.  

Nina, Matthias, and Inej had been returned to their previous posts in Kaz’s office by the time you had hauled your tired butt up there.  There were no more waffles, much to your bitter dismay.  Kaz pretended he didn’t see your glare.  

And by the fifth time Kaz was interrupted by a record setting yawn, he pushed the cup of coffee Rotty had brought him towards you.  You had taken it happily but nearly spit it back out when you took a sip.  “Of course it’s black.”  You sniffed the cup.  “And dark roast.” 

“Drink it anyways, we don’t need you falling asleep on your feet.” 

“I’ve done that before,” you said and took a sip anyway.  

–

You had only gotten forty-five minutes of a break for lunch.  You had stopped at the Crow Club and, true to your previous claim, you fell asleep leaning against the wall.  You only woke up when a passerby bumped into you.  

Jesper leaned back in his chair and laughed loudly.  “You really can fall asleep on your feet!” 

You flashed him a grin that sent spiders crawling on his neck.  “Remember what I said earlier.”  You swear you heard him audibly gulp.  

– 

The moon had marched a quarter of the way up the sky by the time all of your tasks for the day were finished.  Without saying anything to your fellow crows you climbed three flights of stairs and crashed right onto your cot.  

The next morning you had woken surprisingly early to the wonderful, sugary smell of powdered sugar and gluten creeping up the stairs.  But instead of going to investigate the wonderful scent, you crept up the steps to the attic, hoping the notorious Kaz Brekker was still asleep.

His door didn’t creak as you inched it open and to your delight, Kaz was indeed still and breathing evenly in his room.  

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”  Kaz woke instantly but you only felt mildly remorseful for interrupting his slumber.  The haze in his eyes cleared quickly.  

“Y/N?  You’re awake before me, the world must be ending.” 

You sniffed and sat at the foot of his bed, narrowly missing his feet.  “I smelled waffles.” 

“Ah, well that explains it.” 

“You should be honoured, I climbed all the way here to see you over waffles.” 

“I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t need to say anything, just enjoy my holy presence,” you flopped backwards.   

When Inej and Nina crept into Kaz’s room two hours later to go over upcoming heists, Inej had to cover Nina’s mouth to keep her from screeching in delight.  

Both of you were laying slanted across his cot, legs and arms falling off the sides.  His fingertips barely brushed your shoulder.  Inej and Nina shuffled backwards out of the room and back down the stairs.  

“If you say anything, I will shove your cane down your throat,” you said.  “Just go back to sleep.”

——–

Masterlist

——–

stressed is desserts spelled backwards.  -wynde 

thank you for reading!

[joecheese]

kaz brekker playing with your hair

request: I love your Kaz headcanons!! Can you do one with him playing with fem!reader’s hair and her playing with his without realizing? And the crows see him doing something fancy with her hair for a job and seeing that they care about each other? Sorry if this is too specific!! Thank you!

a/n: this is so fucking sweet and i can totally see this as a very intimate thing for kaz,,, pls so fucking cute 

warnings: none lots of fluff

the first time kaz played with your hair, you almost gasped out of shock

you were sat on the floor between his legs with a book in your lap

he was sitting on the edge of his bed, scribbling something into his notebook 

the two of you were close but not exactly touching

his gloves were off, since it was just the two of you in his bedroom 

suddenly you felt a little tug at your hair and you slightly moved your head

you could see kaz twisting the strand in his fingers like he did with cards during a magic trick 

he was still focused entirely on whatever he was writing 

you narrowed your eyes slightly but went back to reading 

you were acutely aware of his fingers playing with your hair and making their way up to your scalp 

when he ended up massaging your scalp softly your breath hitched in your throat 

his touch was so soft and gentle 

so unlike the kaz everyone else saw 

you suddenly felt sleepy and at peace

your eyes started fluttering 

that night you had ended up falling asleep on the floor

your cheek pressed into kaz’s leg 

you slowly began to realize that kaz wasn’t even aware of what he was doing 

playing with your hair was something he did completely mindlessly 

he didn’t realize how much of an affect it had on you

since he had played with your hair a couple of times, you wanted to mention it 

but you knew the second you did you might break the spell 

and it would be two steps backwards 

but one night the two of you sat on the floor, your legs crossed, facing each other 

you were talking about something or other that had to do with the crow club

again, you two were close but not touching 

then as he talked kaz moved his hand up and started playing with the hair that had fallen in front of you face

he didn’t stop his train of thought, just continued the conversation as if nothing 

you couldn’t help it you had to say something because you were about to swoon at his sweetness 

“kaz do you realize what you’re doing” you had interrupted him 

he stopped talking and tilted his head to the side 

“what am i doing y/n?”

you rolled your eyes and pointed at his hand, with your hair still between his fingers 

he followed your gesture and his narrowed his eyes, pulling his hand away hesitantly 

you let out a sad sigh 

“you’ve done it a couple of times without realizing i think” you mumbled, looking down at the floor 

then his hands were back in your hair, with more confidence now 

you grinned at him

“don’t look at me like that, you have nice hair” he stated as an excuse.

and then the rest was history 

now, the two of you couldn’t be in the same room alone together without kaz’s hands finding themselves tangled in your hair 

sometimes he wasn’t paying attention and he would knot up your hair 

then he’d sit with you, undoing them gently 

you were sat between his legs once again 

and he started attempting a little braid 

after a couple of failed attempts, you walked him through it 

soon, kaz became a master of braiding hair 

first they were little ones

and then he branched out into different types 

asking you to ignore your work so that he could practice on your hair 

he said it was his favourite

the crows started noticing you new hairstyles 

your too perfect braids 

and buns with little delicate details 

they knew you couldn’t have been the one to do them 

one time, you were in a common room of the slat with nina and jesper 

and kaz walked in without looking to see who was in the room, paying attention to something in his hand

“hey y/n i have this new hairstyle i want to-”

he looked up then to see jesper and nina’s amused faces 

and your face covered in an embarrassed blush 

nina turned to you with a little smirk 

“so you’ve got your own stylist now?”

jesper joined in, “yeah y/n i was starting to think you were taking cosmetology classes on your days off.”

you only rolled your eyes and stayed silent, not sure how kaz would want to play this 

he recovered quickly and surprised you by walking behind where you were sitting 

“i’m going to try this new style in y/n’s hair and if either of you have anything to say if i won’t hesitate to sew your mouth shut with a bobby pin”

he threatened them and then started pulling your hair into a fancy new style that would keep your hair out of your face for complicated jobs 

jesper and nina just laughed and kept watching as he worked 

after a few minutes, the two of them called matthias, inej, and wylan into the room

and there you all sat, watching kaz’s trial and error with this new style 

by the end, you looked ready to murder a man without your hair ever faltering

all of the crows had stopped with their witty remarks and instead were in awe at kaz’s hidden talent 

he maybe even looked a little embarrassed at the attention 

“it’s just like a magic trick or pickpocketing” he insisted. 

 you grinned and took a few pieces of his hair 

 his tensed and then realized 

“i think its your turn for a makeover kaz”

he only chuckled and kissed your palm 

“over my dead body angel”

[joecheese]

Kaz: I CAN'T DO IT! Inej, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER! Kaz: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE Nina: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US. Kaz: Kaz: I appreciate it, Kaz: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH- Matthias: Kaz- Kaz: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE! Jesper: Kaz we gotta- Kaz: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT. Kaz: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?' Kaz, motioning to Wylan: NOT FUCKING THIS

[joecheese]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

[joecheese]

I DIDN'T NEEDED TO CRY THIS FUCKING HARD TODAY!

.

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×>☆💀💕☆<×

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Ig: Marblenxart

[joecheese]

Rb if your account is safe space for

-LGBTQ+

-People from every nation

-All religions

-Dark skin people

-Asian people

-Uyghur Turks and Muslims

-People with mental disorders

-People with illness

[joecheese]

@sixofcrowsnet heist: tropes  → six of crows as an old-school video game

[joecheese]

In case someone doesn't know how to make a "keep reading" on mobile:

I've seen some nerve-racking 10k fics that don't have the cut and in their worst, they're also full of media like "this is a picture of what you're wearing, this is the view you're seeing from your hotel room, here's a gif how x looks at you in this scene" = Tumblr app struggles to load that wall of text and media and then Tumblr app crashes and when asked to put the cut, people are like "I'm on mobile and can't put the cut" so here's a little tutorial video for you guys.

I know this is a problem with all characters but tagging some popular ones to gain exposure for this post.

[joecheese]

Reblog if you want your followers to ask you anything they're curious about.

[joecheese]

Spoken true words

whats your type?

Fictional men written by women.

[joecheese]

Writers who create dark fiction do not need to:

be your therapist

be responsible for your consumption

explain concepts readily available to you through Google searches

share their past or traumatic experiences

answer questions about their trauma

apologize for you ignoring warnings

cater to your entitlement

And that’s it. Be responsible for your damn self.

[joecheese]

Listen I'm bi as heck and love that label but the Pansexual pride flag? Amazing. Beautiful. Showstopping. The aspiring graphic designer in me is quaking with love for those colours. The CMY colour scheme is literally one of my favourite combinations ever.

[joecheese]

Prompt #170

“We’ve got company.”

In an instant the assassin had a gun in his hand. “Stay in this room, barricade the door, stay low-”

His wife slapped his hand away from the handle. “Oh my god, no! Stop! I mean we actually have company. The new neighbours popped round to introduce themselves.”

[joecheese]

[joecheese]

Powers that hurt

telekinesis that gives the user a massive headache 

super strength that leaves them with sore muscles for days after use

pyrokinesis that gives a horrible burning sensation, felt even though there’s no physical evidence of it.

cryokinesis that chills them to the bones, leaving them with a desperate need to get someplace warm after every battle

heightened senses that mean the character is in a near-constant state of sensory overload

flight powers mean they have altitude related illness every time they go just a little to high a little to fast

aquakinesis that means that it’s harder to drown them but not impossible, that means they feel horrible when the humidity is too low

geokinesis that makes them terrified to be off the ground, whether they’re being carried or in a plane or flying in any way, they just hate it