joellesolo

[joellesolo]

Yesterday I was rocking the three leading ladies (⚔️) shirt from caffeine and curses and today I was rocking my HU Ariel shirt I got for Peanut's FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY (it's been sitting up high on my closet shelf since then (she turns seven in august)) and I finally took the tags off this morning and was like you know what?! Yolo, right? Seize the day?! I've been feeling myself lately. (Don't mind my frizzy hair in the second picture though, I don't know what's up with that ha.)

Also don't mind the baggy jeans in the first pic, I had to get new ones and while the skinny jeans fit, the flares (which are my preferred style) were four inches too long so I'm waiting for my mom to hem them and who knows how long that will take... my husband said for the birthday we went to earlier, they (the baggy ones) looked 'sloppy' with my nice shirt but they were fine for just lounging with my bestie around the house yesterday, so, there we go 🤷🏽‍♀️

But I got so many compliments on my hair + shirt + overall 'look' today between two birthdays plus the sushi take out place for dinner, my head was spinning 🤯 I know I shouldn't care what others think of me, but when what everyone else thinks is positive and I'm the only one thinking negative thoughts about myself... maybe I should try listening to them?

Okay, enough rambling. I didn't mean for it to be this long. Just wanted to share some, gasp, dare I say it, CUTE pictures of me?! Ha, okay, that's enough. Sweet dreams, tumblr friends.

#joelle's life #me #recovery #body dysmorphic disorder #progress #caffeine and curses #her universe #flaunt your world #ariel #feyre archeron #bryce quinlan #aelin galathynius #my hair for the archives #cute #pretty #adorable #am i going too far with these tags? #like i said i've been feeling myself #you do not yield #sarah j maas #sjm #the little mermaid #purple hair #acotar #crescent city #throne of glass #my face

[joellesolo]

bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

#ask me stuff #it's been a while

[joellesolo]

#@monkeymeghan #this was you 😂 #boop

[joellesolo]

This was the amazing stroller we rented. The girls napped in it and slept in it and it was fucking AWESOME! It pushed like a dream and even though there was hardly any strain from pushing it, I have muscles in my arms now. MUSCLES! I've literally never had muscles in my entire life before 😂 because, you know... I've been chronically ill since the age of eight. My friends at mom's night on Friday were laughing at me (with me? in a good way!) when I showed them. They were proud, ha.

Anyway, this was after we got back to the hotel room at eleven pm the first night after fireworks. Fireworks ended just before ten but I had to stop at the World of Disney in Downtown Disney for a half hour looking for a blanket because I severely underestimated how chilly it was, ha, and it was worth it because we needed it for three nights, so... that's how I justified it to Michael anyway 😂

It was just a great trip... I want to be back there so badly 😭 at least let me have the stroller back!!

We made it to Anaheim! I don't know what's next. Disneyland tomorrow, of course. We'll see how that goes. It's going to be hard with what happened yesterday, I'm still raw from the... thing... that I still am not allowed to talk about, ugh.

Wish me luck. Weird to ask that when I'm going to the happiest place on earth, right?! At least I didn't collapse in an airport today so there's that.

And also, we're renting an eight hundred dollar stroller for twenty bucks a day and it's like the rolls royce of strollers, it's so fucking cool, I wish we had one at home, there is NO STRAIN whatsoever on my arms at all 😭 so we have two double strollers in the hotel room, ha, our shitty one that I had to wrestle through the airport and then the rented shiny amazing one that is so fucking amazing.

Only I would get worked up over a double stroller, haha.

Anyway. Wish me luck. Here we go!

#joelle's life #disneyland 2024 #disneyland #double bob 3.0 #chronically ill mom #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #lillian gabriel #charlotte rose #disneyland hotel #rope drop to fireworks #long day #sleepy girls #the sleepiest #sorry the image is so giant #i tried resizing it but i don't know shit about computers or images or resizing #it didn't work obviously ha #my bad #stroller

[joellesolo]

I know I didn't make a follow up post about Disneyland, but long story short, I survived, and it was incredible. I wish instagram still was connected to tumblr, you would've seen all my updates. If you want to see the pictures I posted, here's my instagram (you have to scroll a little because we celebrated both Easter and Lily's fourth birthday since we've been back) but it was amazing and I've since been suffering from the post-Disney blues more like depression 😭 since we've been home.

Galaxy's Edge was the BOMB and I just had to share my freaking ROGUE SQUADRON HELMET that I didn't even know EXISTED, because I wore my HU rogue squadron tank top (with the hoodie that you can't see) of course on Star Wars Land day (our last day) and it was just too perfect to pass up. It is so cool you guys. I AM SO COOL NOW. I CAN BE ROGUE NINE WHENEVER I WANT. I'M BASICALLY CORRAN HORN NOW!!

The blue milk was delicious! I wish I could've tried the green milk because it's supposedly even better, but it has grapefruit in it (damn you psych meds!!) so that was a bummer, but oh well. The x wing was SO COOL, and so was the Millennium Falcon (again, go to my instagram to see it (am I fishing for likes?! maybe 😉)) and while we couldn't ride the Rise of the Resistance because they don't do single riders, I was an engineer on Smuggler's Run and the group I was with was really welcoming and it was pretty fun! Also, my R2D2 ears were SO cute but SO uncomfortable which was a bummer, I had been wanting them for months and ended up preferring the cheap etsy ones I got me and the girls (you can see them in the instagram pics from the first two days!). But we met R2 while I was wearing the R2 ears, so, you know, that was PRETTY FUCKING COOL 😱

Last but not least, we found these amazing ILYIK spirit jerseys and while I typically am not a fan of the spirit jerseys I just couldn't pass these up. We have ILYIK engraved on our wedding bands, they were on my R2 wedding heels, on our cake topper, and on our third anniversary we painted this which has been above our beds ever since (this fall is our eighth anniversary)(look at us, what babies!):

We did rope drop to fireworks every single park day, with one rest/pool day, and fuck it was exhausting and I was in soo much pain and so exhausted, but it was so damn worth it. SO WORTH IT YOU GUYS. I cried when we left the gates the last night, because it had been soo magical and such an incredible time and I had been so happy and... when am I going to be that happy again?! Fuck if I know. Seriously 😭 hence the post-Disney blues/depression...

It was just amazing. Magical. Everything you could've hoped for. The girls had the best time. I was so stressed out and sure, I forgot ninety percent of my personal hygiene stuff because I had to pack everyone else's shit but hey that's motherhood for you.

Okay, this was supposed to be a Star Wars souvenir appreciation post but it's getting away from me a bit... anyway. I survived Disneyland 2024. I wish I could go back. Someone take me back?!

#joelle's life #disneyland #disneyland 2024 #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #chronic illness #motherhood #chronically ill #chronically ill mom #crohn's disease #endometriosis #arthritis #star wars #star wars land #galaxy's edge #r2d2 #blue milk #her universe #rogue squadron #corran horn #rogue nine #ilyik #x wing #millennium falcon #my hair for the archives #charlotte rose #lillian gabriel #secret tom #me #my face

[joellesolo]

I dunno, sometimes it feels much better to have a neutral word to describe a neutral reality rather than being defaulted to "gay" at best and "frigid bitch" at worst

#asexuality #ace #asexual #finding out i wasn't 'broken' healed something inside of me #no one deserves to feel like they're broken

[joellesolo]

what my notifs look like currently

#boop

[joellesolo]

Question for the audience

Also leave in the tags what people usually compliment you on!!

#any time i go out i get compliments on my hair #some times multiple times an outing #my hair is pretty neato tbh

[joellesolo]

We made it to Anaheim! I don't know what's next. Disneyland tomorrow, of course. We'll see how that goes. It's going to be hard with what happened yesterday, I'm still raw from the... thing... that I still am not allowed to talk about, ugh.

Wish me luck. Weird to ask that when I'm going to the happiest place on earth, right?! At least I didn't collapse in an airport today so there's that.

And also, we're renting an eight hundred dollar stroller for twenty bucks a day and it's like the rolls royce of strollers, it's so fucking cool, I wish we had one at home, there is NO STRAIN whatsoever on my arms at all 😭 so we have two double strollers in the hotel room, ha, our shitty one that I had to wrestle through the airport and then the rented shiny amazing one that is so fucking amazing.

Only I would get worked up over a double stroller, haha.

Anyway. Wish me luck. Here we go!

#joelle's life #disneyland #distraction #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #chronically ill #chronically ill mom #motherhood #arthritis #endometriosis #crohn's disease #send help #disneyland 2024

[joellesolo]

I was spiraling earlier. Now? I don't even have words.

I got news that basically ruined our trip. Out of respect for the people involved I can't even say what happened, but like... yeah, it's basically ruined. We're still going and we're going to try our damnest to have a good time, but like... I'm heartbroken, I'm hurt, I feel SO betrayed, and my heart is literally aching for the situation that has happened. But I have to put a brave face on for the girls and I can't tell anyone what happened and it just really fucking sucks.

And also I've been packing ALL day and it's almost nine pm (an hour and a half past my bedtime) and I'm still no where near done and our ride will be here at six thirty am.

Fuck you guys. Just, fuck.

#joelle's life #fuuuuuuuck #send help #this was supposed to be the greatest trip ever #and i've just been bawling for the last few hours when the girls aren't in the room #FUCKKKK #disneyland 2024

[joellesolo]

I am fucking STRESSED.

It's hard being a chronically ill mom. It's hard during the 'normal times' to keep up with everything.

I've lost five pounds in the last two weeks puking my guts up because of the amount of pain I've been in.

But tomorrow? Tomorrow we leave for Anaheim. We're going to fucking DISNEYLAND. And that should be so fucking exhilarating, I should be so fucking EXCITED, but instead I'm just stressed out because I'm so worried I'll just be a strain on my family and won't be able to keep up and I'll just bring everyone down with my pain and fatigue.

First world problems, right? We've been planning this for over a year. I thought I'd be 'better' by now. Like, yes I know I'd be sickish, but, I thought the humira would have kicked in and I wouldn't be as sick as I am.

Fuck. I just wanted to have fun. I wanted to make this as special and magical as possible for the girls and now I'm worried that all they'll remember is how different their mommy is from normal mommies, and all that dumb shit, and I just want to cry.

Please send me good vibes if you've got them.

#joelle's life #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #crohn's disease #endometriosis #disneyland #motherhood #chronically ill mom #it doesn't help i have to do ALL THE PACKING BY MYSELF #with lillian badgering me all day #ugh #send help #i'm so scared #i just wanted to have a good time #and i'm worried i'll ruin it for everyone #😭 #disneyland 2024

[joellesolo]

Went to a mom's night out on the first and FINALLY got to rock my hobbit hole skirtall from HU, which I love and got months ago but haven't had a reason to wear (because, you know, when you're sick and bedridden you don't really get to wear fun stuff). And everyone loved it and I felt so cool and it was just super awesome seeing some friends and just relaxing and being out of my house and, yeah. Don't mind the tp and mess at my feet. I was feeling my vibe but not enough to clean up, okay? 😅😂 and no, I did not leave the house in slippers, but I don't wear shoes in the house and I didn't have the energy to go downstairs and put shoes on and then come upstairs to take a picture only to go downstairs again... something my mother gave me shit for 😒

#joelle's life #me #her universe #lord of the rings #hobbit hole #HU #mom's night out #dtmm #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #my hair for the archives #body dysmorphic disorder #recovery #my nails were still black from emo night tour LMFAO #cute #adorable #my face #nerd

[joellesolo]

Technically a spoiler for the Ruhn and Lidia bonus chapter. House of Flame and Shadow should've been a sprite-shadowbaby star-crossed love story (tho maybe Lidia and Ruhn are those respective sprite and shadowbaby?) and no, I don't know what happened to Hunt's hair.

#hofas spoilers #house of flame and shadow spoilers #hofas bonus chapters #hofas bonus chapters spoilers #ruhn danaan #lidia cervos #NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT #🥺 #jmoonjones

[joellesolo]

I went out with some of my mom friends last night to Emo Night Tour, and my best friend did my make up because I suck at it.

When I say she knocked it out of the park... wow! I haven't felt that good about myself in a LONG ass time. Even though the struggle with body dysmorphia is so real, I still felt... kind of pretty?? Way more so than I do on a day to day basis. We had a blast and it was fun and I'm exhausted and in pain but it was worth it.

#joelle's life #emo night tour #me #selfie #my face #pretty #cute #purple hair #my hair for the archives #selfie sunday #emo #pop punk #pop punk princess #body dysmorphic disorder #chronic illness #chronic fatigue #dtmm

[joellesolo]

LOTR gets the kitty treatment!

Row 1: The Fellowship, The Elves

Row 2: Gondor, Rohan

Row 3: The side characters

Row 4: Villains!

bonus Silmarillion trees: Laurelin (gold) and Telperion (silver)

#lord of the rings #lotr #kitties #jmoonjones #fanart #😍

[joellesolo]

HOFAS kind of spoilers under the cut, but not really, more of a question that didn't really get answered...

I wouldn't look if you haven't finished the book though, just to be on the safe side.

So I know that Bryce and Rhys are related as Rhys is a descendant of Silene, or whatever (keep in mind I finished the book in less than a day on Tuesday so details are blurry, I'll need to do a reread for sure soon) and Bryce is a descendant of Theia, but like... I don't know, there were all the theories of that somehow Rhys's sister was somehow Ruhn's mom because of how similar they looked, and so... that didn't pan out right? I think I would've remembered that? Ruhn's mom never came into play, except for being mentioned a couple times (like, she doesn't even have a name as far as I can recall).

So like, did I miss how they looked so fucking similar? I feel like fifteen thousand years of evolution wouldn't have them looking like twins, you know? I don't know. Was anyone else bummed about that?

#joelle's life #house of flame and shadow #house of flame and shadow spoilers #hofas #hofas spoilers #bryce quinlan #ruhn danaan #rhysand #maybe i'm just grasping at straws #i really wanted that to be a theory that was confirmed #ha

[joellesolo]

HOFAS bonus chapter spoilers under the cut!

Seriously, it's a big one, do not pass go if you haven't finished HOFAS and especially if you haven't read the bonus chapters!

First of all, Az/Nesta/Bryce's bonus chapter should've been kept in the damn book! Across all editions! Bonding over music?? Azriel loving club music?! PLEASE!

Ember being the mother Nesta never had?! Oh my god 🥺

Lastly, my favorite...

RUHN AND LIDIA GETTING SURPRISE MARRIED?! I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! AGAIN, WHY THE FUCK WASN'T THAT IN ALL THE EDITIONS! RUHN DESERVED A HAPPY EVER AFTER AFTER ALL HE WENT THROUGH 😭😭😭

Okay, that's it, I'll just be crying over here as we wait the next year to three years for the next ACOTAR or CC book to come out...

#joelle's life #house of flame and shadow #house of flame and shadow spoilers #hofas #hofas spoilers #hofas bonus chapters #hofas bonus chapters spoilers #bryce quinlan #azriel #nesta archeron #ember quinlan #ruhn danaan #lidia cervos #ugh my fucking heart you guys #how am i supposed to move on from this