jonaswpoetry

[jonaswpoetry]

Infantile debris

Treading on, deconstructed

by destiny rather than

driven — infantile debris

—

left behind in regretful

disregard, their rot barely

accounting for the stench

—

that’s assailing my nose-

held-high memory — I

cannot protract another

—

path from these remnant

carrion selves, yet would

resist such temptation even

—

if it were available — this

stumbled journey, riddled

with lost purpose, remains

—

no one else’s but mine to follow

fully through until whatever

entropic resolution is befallen

#poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry

[jonaswpoetry]

10, 31, 40 for the asks please x

10. How tall are you?

170 cm (I'm short, but I could certainly be shorter)

31. What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

I'm looking forward to my novel being ~70% complete. Ha.

40. Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

I like the beach, but I prefer rocky ones over sandy ones. And if you're going for a rocky beach, it might as well be cloudy overhead too.

Thanks for asking :)

[jonaswpoetry]

27, 34

27. What's your favourite book? Or just one you've read a few times?

I've read Confessions of a Fallen Angel by Ronan O'Brien many many times. I'd like to go back to it some time soon, actually.

34. What's your favourite flower?

Sunflowers are Natalie's favourite, which means they're mine too.

Thank you for asking 💜

[jonaswpoetry]

3. What was the last song you listened to? 😊

I've spent a lot of the day listening through a song my friend composed so I can learn it, write new drum parts and transcribe them for going back to another time, in the overall hope that we'll jam it together one day. It's called Nobody Cares For The Woods Anymore, a solid reference quoting Treebeard in The Lord of the Rings.

As for 'proper' songs (Rudi's music is arguably not yet entirely complete, just self-released demos), Silver by Woods of Ypres. Catchy and heartbreaking in one, it's been haunting me for weeks.

Thanks for asking!

[jonaswpoetry]

10, 38.

10. How tall are you?

A mighty [cough] 170cm.

38. Do you have an phobias?

Nothing truly clinical. Mostly I'm just a very anxious person with some fairly particular anxieties.

Thanks for asking :)

[jonaswpoetry]

♡ asks ♡

 Do you have freckles? 

 Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

What was the last song you listened to? 

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side? 

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? 

Do you prefer drawing or writing? 

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

What’s your favorite band/artist? 

When is your birthday? 

How tall are you? 

What color are your eyes? 

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now? 

Fears? 

What’s your favorite color? 

What’s your favorite season? 

Want any tattoos? What of? 

Want any piercings? Where? 

Who is the last person you texted? 

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends? 

What/who do you miss? 

How was your day today? 

How much sleep did you get last night? 

Do you believe in aliens? 

When was the last time you cried? Why? 

What’s your favorite decade? 

What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

How are you, really? 

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

What are you looking forward to in the near future? 

What are you looking forward to in the distant future? 

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? 

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? 

What’s your favorite flower? 

Do you currently have a squish? 

Do you like your middle name? 

Do you prefer dogs or cats? 

Do you have any phobias? 

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy? 

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many? 

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? 

Is there anyone you would die for? 

What do you need when you’re sad? 

Have you memorized your phone number? 

Who’s someone you can trust with your life? 

What does your last text say? 

Wild Card. Any question, ask away. 

[jonaswpoetry]

Duncan's seat

Settled upon a dead man’s designated

seat, eating the last meal he probably

would’ve selected for himself before

his unexpected passing (no item that

—

I’m dutifully consuming between acts

has been picked, prepped, nor plated of

my want or choosing) — flanked by

—

our shared loyal constant since youth’s

agony beside my own future’s devotion

and an oblivious stranger celebrating

her birthday — wondering quietly how

—

soon ‘til sweet grief does surely strike us

too-inept mourners like some divinely

driven dagger through laugh-filled chests

#poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry #loss #bereavement

[jonaswpoetry]

Calling hope

I would be loath at calling hope

my drug of choice — it enters me

only unwillingly, lending less-

—

than-welcome sedation when

despair’s overwrought charge

made through too-fraught veins

—

is seeming as a never-ending im-

possibly tempting pool in which

to drown — yet, somehow the needle

—

remains ever sharp, and oh-

so ready for penetrating

these cultivated wretched layers

#poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry

[jonaswpoetry]

Alias

Assuredly, each transgression

affixed to this creature’s title

is too much for being borne

—

further than tomorrow’s silent

midnight — may another alias

be graciously (or with agony’s

—

unrest) placed upon me — like

a blinding sheet’s blessing, or

the cleansing kiss that bleach

—

might grant, thus leaving standing

some entirely recreated thing, with

newfound potential beauty? Such

—

pathetic dreams effect nothing.

@nosebleedclub February Prompts 13: nickname

#nosebleedclub #nickname #poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry #prompt #i had the wrong month's prompts open and didn't realise until this was written and ready to post #dangit

[jonaswpoetry]

Blinded windows

Mere steps behind, beyond barred, blinded

windows, a world inhales, ingests, and

suitably regurgitates those benevolent rays

—

sent forth from their lonely-yet-loving star

as exponentially warming breaths — more

gold lustre means further smiles, themselves

—

then followed by countless beams, until all living

things are ablaze with joy — that is, excepting

he: imprisoned; held perpetual victim to air made

—

fetid through indecision’s grim preservative

influence; four unmarked walls his fixed-

term mausoleum; no burial dirge but pulse-

—

beats barely whispered; blank stare revealing

how completely resignation has quite entirely

taken fully paralysing possession over any

—

cell or thought bearing

strength left for effecting

my escaping this body’s

—

agonisingly

frigid, isolated

persistence

@nosebleedclub February Prompts 29. blank stare

#nosebleedclub #blank stare #poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry #prompt #depression #catatonia

[jonaswpoetry]

It has, more than a week after observing the 10th anniversary of my starting this blog, only just occurred to me to re-share the very first poem I posted here in February of 2014.

It was originally written as lyrics, as much of my early writing was, although the song it would pair with has never existed and likely never will. As far as my older works go, this is probably one of the better ones. I used to be extraordinarily proud of it, though now I'm just pleased it holds up as a (possibly) not-terrible piece. Like a lot of budding poets of the 21st century, I'd believed that because the writing held deep, personal meaning to me that meant it was good. I can't pretend I don't still fall victim to that fallacy in 2024 at 30 years old. Cathartic isn't always quality. But then again, quality doesn't always achieve the same level of catharsis.

Shut me up [from October 2011]

The feeling’s settled down

I can raise my head and face the sky again

But just when it seems that I’m free,

The numb grasp takes my throat, and a blank mask descends

 -

Another feat just today, I’ve found a way to keep composed, no one knows

They’re blind to it anyway

Fooled by my display

Whatever the cost, no matter the price, I can’t let them see the truth, no one knows

 -

Why place it all deep inside, when it’s so easy to find again when the sunlight shifts to grey?

I feel it all the time, that harsh blade so deep inside, sinking further every passing day

 -

And if I put it far behind, someday it’ll find its way back to me, rise through me

I won’t know peace, but oh well

My anger starts to swell

And still you don’t know, they’ve never known of what they’ve done to me, no one knows

 -

But I’m feeling paranoid

I can’t cross the void for fear of being

Paralyzed, pushed aside

Made one with the shadows, so soft and kind

One day I’ll stand up, when I’ve had enough; I’ll make the difference that day

 -

But I’m feeling paranoid

I can’t cross that void for fear of being

Crucified, ostracized

Strung up and brutally criticized

So shut me up, you’ve heard enough, and still no difference has been made

 -

The feeling’s settled down…

-

Why place it all deep inside, when it’s so easy to find again when the sunlight shifts to grey?

I feel it all the time, that harsh blade so deep inside, sinking further every passing day

 -

Do you hear me?

It’s sinking further, I’m feeling weaker

Not for the first time, these words I whisper

Are falling on deaf ears

You’ve shut me up, and, not for the last time

Left me alone here

#poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #10 year tumblrversary

[jonaswpoetry]

It's my 10 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

1000+ poems and a (met-through-Tumblr) wife later. Hot damn.

#10 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

[jonaswpoetry]

Degeneration suits me

Innocence is afflicted with dove-

wing fragility; my sins

are less brittle, and also

more easily tossed aside

for the purely pragmatic purpose

of getting on with life

#poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry

[jonaswpoetry]

Prologue: A late departure meets an early arrival

1. The choice to stay

2. Friendship

3. Learning (to be human)

4. An introduction to depression

5. The Phantom Menace

6. Learning (to shut up)

7. Reputation & legacy

8. The first poem

9. Non-reciprocated; or, I love my friends more than they love me

10. Pretending to be dead

11. Raised by liars

12. Non-reciprocated ii: fields of shit

13. Changing schools

14. First cuts; first kisses

15. Muting the spark by dulling the ache

16. A depressing diagnosis

17. Reciprocated, at last

18. Empty adulthood

19. Broken hearted

20. Undergraduate

21. Dropout

22. Louisiana, and love

23. Crossroads

24. Engagement

25. Wedding; or, the happiest day of my life

26. Learning to be married

27. Poorly masked malaise

28. I (don't want to) want to disappear

29. A blue outlook over green pastures

30. The choice to stay ii: why?

Your life to this point in book chapters

#nosebleedclub #prompt #poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry

[jonaswpoetry]

Three reprieves

I once set three guilt-lit reprieves

to flesh, then pressed, believing

in finding some fleeting relief, but

—

persistent are the remnant marks

telling loud a fool’s unspoken tale

of so coldly searing his own skin

@nosebleedclub February Prompts 1. burning skin

#nosebleedclub #burning skin #poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry #prompt

[jonaswpoetry]

A day

Dawn stretches across

my shelter from heaven’s ire

and the rot sets in

—

Witness: a hallowed

inferno makes hours cinders

and the rot sets in

—

Faded drapes descend

before light can catch upon smiles

and the rot sets in

—

Regurgitated

words: “It’s that time already?”

and the rot sets in

—

Comfort’s deflected

embrace hones agony’s edge

and the rot sets in

@nosebleedclub January Prompts 31. And the rot sets in

#nosebleedclub #and the rot sets in #spilled ink #poetry #writing #poetsontumblr #my poetry #prompt #haiku #depression

[jonaswpoetry]

Wearied future

Can’t hist’ry take me

to rest? Days yet come have al-

ready drained my soul

@nosebleedclub January Prompts 15. Bed of the past

#nosebleedclub #bed of the past #poetry #writing #spilled ink #poetsontumblr #my poetry #prompt