jugs-and

[jugs-and]

15 min sprint

My to-do list has "15 minute sprint on tumblr" listed on it - so here we are. People do gratitude journals to make them reflect, and possibly have a positive spin on the events of life. There is a lot of joy in the world, but I feel like stopping just means we are faced with the mind-numbingly dull modern landscape we inhabit. The time to stop is the rarest jewel in this modern world, where nothing matters because everything matters suddenly.

2024 has been chaos so far - I just don't feel like I've been able to stop and breath. For illustration, we had somehow booked in three separate trips to the South Island before March alone. Now I'm just trying to settle into a rhythm of work and private work on half of my evenings. It's a strange lull this week where we had a big deadline last week, and I'm just trying to figure out what I do for fun.

If October 2023 wasn't enough, they went through a second round of restructuring at work in March 2024. The previous round, we officially de-commissioned 3 people, but another 2-3 also outright resigned to other positions. Last month, where the job market is absolutely barren - they demolished through another 9 people last month. It's absolutely soul-destroying as someone who survived, even more so for anyone affected. I have no soul left at work.

Otherwise, the money has been super tight this year. As with most first quarters of my adult life- insurance lump-sums and rates have blind-sided me. This year in particular, my credit card was absolutely pushed to the maximum, and I know I'm not alone in this. Honestly the first time as an adult I've seriously had to budget and shave expenses.

--

Speaking of breathing, a shoulder connected with my ribs this past Sunday at volleyball. I was absolutely winded and floored, taken out by H- on my own team going for the same ball. Today is the first day that the sharp pain in my left lung has surfaced to the skin level. Touching the mid-section of my ribs has been painful, where previously it was a unnoticeable pain, that awoke when I moved a certain way.

--

Sleep feels like amnesia, or a vague concept sometimes, and other times I grasp it completely. I pass out some nights after a late night at the office, other days I feel so anxious that I've had no exercise and I definitely will not sleep well. The sleep yo-yos within the same week.

I feel like it's the same story, I am telling in more creative ways.

#2024

[jugs-and]

[03/24] - Mangamate Loop Track, Whirinaki Forest

When the weather for the Ruahine Forest Park was forecasted for rain - we looked a bit closer to home. According to the website, the Whirinaki Forest is one of the world's last prehistoric rainforests, and the theme is green - endless green.

Starting early from a nearby campsite on Saturday morning, we made it Central Whirinaki Hut for lunch with a group of 18 school students on a camping excursion. The afternoon was criss-crossing across shallow streams, over 60 times dipping in and out. There was a brief afternoon tea at Mangamate Hut before a quick trot back to the carpark.

Shooting with a 17-40mm, and learning a lot of lessons. The low f-stops really have a big impact on the depth of field.

#photography #new zealand #landscape #green #forest #travel #hiking #emerald #canon

[jugs-and]

[02/24] Whirinaki Forest Park

Coming to grips with what is Lightroom, also coming to grips with my 18-40mm lens I picked up.

Nothing is perfect, and there is just a limited amount of time compared to the amassed photos from January 2024. The past few months I've been working moderatel hard on a house extension for a friend, and in-between I might be able to post a bit of what has been going on in the weekends.

#photography #landscape #forest #sun #green #new zealand

[jugs-and]

Since coming to Europe though, I've noticed that drawing isn't an everyday thing here the way writing is. People think that paintbrushes are for a genius like Munch - ordinary people are embarassed to even touch one. As they see no connection between art and skill, they think that no matter how good a person is at drawing, she shouldn't do it unless she feels destined to be an artist. ...Most people's handwriting isn't fit for a professional calligrapher, so what's wrong with drawing picture a real artist would consider worthless? Europeans must think of handwriting and drawing as two completely separate things. If not, why are they so ashamed of a lousy picture when their terrible handwriting doesn't bother them at all?

page 22. Scattered All Over The Earth, by Yoko Tawada.

#art #writing #quote

[jugs-and]

Our bodies are always changing, from moment to moment. In these baths the ancient Romans surely felt that. They'd have unwanted body hair plucked away, get their hair and nails cut, enjoy a massage to loosen their muscles. ...And that's not all. Even our brains change sex every second - depending on the book we're reading, we become men or women.

page 57. Scattered All Over The Earth, by Yoko Tawada.

#quote #interesting thought anyway

[jugs-and]

To survive in Germany, they will have to walk. My German friends all love to go for a walk and often ask me to come along. Not just for fifteen or twenty minutes, either. They'll keep going for an hour at least, and in good weather as long as two without a rest. What's more, about forty minutes into our walk a friend will finally open his heart to me and confess, "I broke up with my girlfriend". ...without strong legs, you cannot even make friends in this country.

pg. 44-45. Scattered All Over The Earth by Yoko Tawada.

#germany #german #quote #japanese #walk #hiking

[jugs-and]

[23/03] - 15 minutes.

Finished Better Call Saul this week - I think I love it more than Breaking Bad, but I blame a bit of it on recency bias. Of the latter, I actually remember little of the details, so the fan service was somewhat lost on me. I appreciate the smaller scale story - and how it highlights the banality of the everyday. The pieces all add up to the overall underlying sadness to the person who Saul Goodman really is. The storylines are something of a more intimate and human, and it's gut-wrenching to watch the transformation from Jimmy -> Saul.

Working really hard at the moment - as I become more senior, the responsibility piles up, and I'm the last person standing. I don't profess to be anything close to a perfectionist but this is even getting to an acceptable standard of drawings. Otherwise, I cycle between frustration with the grad - and then frustration with the company for under-resourcing my project. I'm left to just pick up the pieces.

The past few months have been frustrating with a graduate with zero motivation and a lot of sass, to say the least. There has been a whole collection of stories nonwithstanding, the first interaction where she told me she doesn't want to get too stressed because it gives her pimples.

Japan, Waikaremoana, U2U across January / February. In addition, T- and I are going to Great Barrier Island, and I have a series of winter hikes as the season comes in soon. The last few weeks of summer are trying to fit in as many games of volleyball as possible at the local park area with church peeps.

Money is a bit tight at the moment - living from paycheck to paycheck trying to pay off the bridging loan from my parents. I don't have much to complain about because I imagine a lot of people are feeling the pinch a lot worse. It is momentary, but it feels like a very long moment.

[jugs-and]

[02/23] Umakarikari / Urchin Tracks

It's hard to keep up with everything that has happened in the first half of 2023. There was a cyclone and a clear path of destruction across New Zealand, ripping through half of the North Island, and in the aftermath we were scrambling the weekend after to find a hiking ground that would accommodate us.

All in all, the track was still intact - but reeling with fresh broken debris everywhere, needing to be cleared - fallen trees hastily cleared earlier in the week from across the access road.

And then, there was us, like some starved hikers - just looking for some fresh air and open wide spaces.

#hiking #travel #new zealand #cyclone #photography #landscape #tourism #mountain #snow #climbing

[jugs-and]

by Japanese forest photographer ぷら @PlaPhoto72

[jugs-and]

[12/22] Bell Rock, Hawkes Bay

Photo from a boys trip two weekends ago. S- had been bugging me to do this, and finally he proceeded to plan the trip himself. I could explain it from COVID lingering in the social scene, we haven't had a social season like this in over three years. I've come to a place where the more pronounced impacts have been on our relationships and how we have avoided the worst of it all, but the scars still remain on our fragile needs for human connection.

The Christmas season has been hectic, and I feel somewhat older this year, somewhat more tired. The fresh air and crunch of leaves underfoot brings me to a new world.

#travel #green #photography #new zealand #forest #hiking #hawkes bay #sunlight #sunset #tramping

[jugs-and]

Missing the snow for the year! Not a lot of climbing accomplished this year - but when I had snow underfoot, it felt just like home.

#snow #travel #2022 #winter #hiking #climbing #ice #new zealand #alpine #ruapehu

[jugs-and]

“Five minutes of peace”

Rob Pointon

[jugs-and]

I am raring and ready to go for summertime.

Michele Poirier Mozzone on Instagram

[jugs-and]

06/22 - Lake Moke, Queenstown

Some photos from last month from a little spot just outside of Queenstown, New Zealand. During winter it is accessible only via 4WD, so off we went for a little stroll with our Subaru Outback on the icy roads.

The trek was straightforward enough, but the deep snow and ice made the track treacherous. What realistically could take less than two hours was much longer mostly because we were treated to frozen waters and enduring sense of some special.

#2022 #travel #queenstown #newzealand #nature #birds #BIRD UP #tourism #visitnewzealand #south island #photography #portrait #landscape #snow #ice #winter #photooftheday #style #instagood #beautiful

[jugs-and]

07/22 - halfway through 2022

It's 3 minutes to 11pm - so better than ever to start writing an update post.

This tumblr post has been a small after-thought on my to-do list tonight, written on a small whiteboard which I have repurposed from my brother's stag-do.

I talked last night about how I always am so tired. Being in a relationship takes a lot of energy and time - and it saps the social courage out of many interactions which I find myself every day. There was an agreement we need to invest more time and even a fraction of our energy in our family and friends more.

Work has been relaxing the last two weeks. I can't hide it - how bored I am. People have commented about the long lunch times, the wandering to the kitchen table to play games of chess on my phone and taking multiple walks and coffee breaks. I keep telling myself this is the only rest I am going to have before it begins again - but I just cannot stop.

We went out for a date last night - first to a wine-tasting function. The invitation seemed more formal, but as we arrived, it was rather stations of wines set up from various countries around the world. I thought we might learn something, but it was more of a networking event where everyone got sloshed. I talked to a new director from Australia from my old workplace, and a guy I'd been hiking with. The former was really nice, the latter was downright rude. Even if he didn't recognise me, he made zero attempt to have a conversation because it didn't benefit him. We went out to Ajisen Ramen afterwards and the ramen was better than I remembered. We conspired together about our plans for the weekend now that Mount Tahurangi was cancelled because of high winds.

The next month is going to be very busy, skiing next weekend, taking a long weekend - followed by another attempt at Mount Tahurangi, then maybe a Whirinaki weekend. At times I just feel old and I don't think I can do the weekend grind anymore. The appeal is to sit at home and just tidy and clean all weekend - finally finish watching season 2 of Never Have I Ever and play Wingspan with too many cups of green tea. Some weekends are just that - and other nights, I feel like I was made for something more than that. Some nights I feel like envy and jealousy take me to another world - I see other people's trips and hiking journeys - and I just cannot find the contentedness inside of me. The insecurity comes out and I find myself desperately trying to match up to the elevated version that I created of others. I tear others down in the fabric of my mindscapes because I have lost a bit of myself. I mean, what is rest, but looking for some sort of normalcy - some form of comfort in which we can find ultimate Rest?

#updates #Youtube

[jugs-and]

[04/22] - National Park, New Zealand

Life is feels crazy - crazy in a negative way, not the way that people say to be k00l. Crazy, like all the wheels are falling off, because at some point I've committed to too much, or the want is greater than the need.

The past two weekends hiking in National Park, I hadn't realised that I had stacked these two trips one weekend after the other.

The former trip was stacked anxiety, and it was a fun trip. This group of guys - the funniest group of boys, our group chat is about small cocks and gay sex, but also, but I am also not 25 pretending to be 18 - I'm turning 30 this year (gulp).

The second was a wonderful group of church friends, and taking them on a long day trip was rewarding, and not to contrast, but I was happy to organise it.

T- and I didn't go away to Rotorua this weekend as planned. I am sort of thankful this weekend has been quiet and I was able to do all the groundwork for the greatest scavenger hunt around Auckland. My brother's stag-do is next weekend.

In the background, there is the crunching feeling of the world crashing. With the din of wars, and a polarised society - I don't get enough sleep to ignore the noise.

#update #what is life

[jugs-and]

[01/22] Day 2 - Northwest Circuit, Rakiura

With yesterday's tiff behind us, T- and I set off intent to walk together more. The track took us along Mason Bay to Big Hellfire Hut via the coastline past Little Hellfire Beach. Towards the north end of Mason Bay, there is a section which was impassable - so we left with ample time in the morning.

Y- was much too fast for the two of us, but luckily he is directionally challenged. More than a few times, I've caught up to him where he missed a turn-off or lost the track. I had to take off my pack at one point to chase after Y- after he missed a track turn-off.

#hiking #newzealand #rakiura #travel #tramping #traveling #nature #photography #new zealand #auckland #sunset #beach #blue