when we treat love as something sacred and rare, we miss opportunities to critically engage with it or even explore different types of love. when we treat love as sacred and something to be found, we are implying that the relationship and construction of love is perfect from its inception. that prevents open dialogue and transfer of ideas and definitions of what relationships are and what is desired from them
when we treat love as something to be built, we allow for the opportunity to love anyone we meet and the threat of finding The One fades. when we treat love as something to be built, we allow for nuance in any and all our relationships and for those relationships to hold more weight on our lives. when we treat love as something to be built, it becomes a communal act, rather than something we do alone
we should treat love as something to be built rather than found
As I get older I’m starting to let go of the guilty urge to build permanent habits. Like, a while ago I decided I would start jumping rope every day. I did it for like three weeks and felt good about it. Then I got bored, because of course I did, because I’m a human person. So now I do a bit of kickboxing because that’s what I like now. The other week I cut all sugar from my diet, just for a week, to challenge myself. Now I’m back to eating sweets but I don’t crave them as much.
Growth is about stretching, trying new things, and setting small, realistic goals for yourself, not picking a “good habit” you’ve decided you will be doing always and forever from now on. That’s not discipline. That’s pointless self-torture and unhealthy resistance to change.
What’s good for you today will not necessarily be what’s good for you tomorrow.
please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future.
The truth is - love exists in so much more than just romantic partner. Love is everything around you. And I hope you learn now to open your eyes to that. I hope you find love in every spect of your life. I hope you find it tucked into early morning sunrises, and the smell of your favourite places. I hope you find it strung between the laughter you share with your friends, I hope it bounces off of you when you hug the people you care for, I hope it swells within your ribcage whenever you hear your favorite song, or discover something that moves you. I hope you fall in love with growth, and change, and the messiness and the beauty of fucking up, and making mistakes, and becoming exactly who you want to be. I hope you find love in places that were once void of it, in places within yourself that you could have been softer to, kinder to, in the past. Because if there is one thing I have learned, it is that love is so much more than boy, or a girl, who holds your heart. Love is everything around you. It is everything.
( @ moonomens on Instagram )